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tapdanceoveryourheart (profile) wrote,
on 8-20-2007 at 9:02pm
Subject: the girl
picture a girl:she lays in her bed with thoughts flittering through her head.of death.of chasing 25 pills with a glass of wine.The girl gets up to do this,sees her friend sleeping in the bed across from her and panics.literally.She's scared.She tries to wake up her friend but she's in a deep sleep.The girl calls 911.They are there within minutes along with pomp and circumstance.She's ushered down the dormitory hallway,into a waiting Ambulance,to a hospital that is used to girls like her:girls with suicidal ideation.An obsession with death.The need to hurt herself in order to feel pain.It's ironic she knows.But the girl feels numb most of the time.The girl spends 11days in a psychiatric unit Girl,Interrupted style.She gets out and feels like an alien in a brave new world.She cannot fathom ever living in such a place called earth,within a thing called reality.She spends the day recounting the same thing she's been recounting to psychiatrist and psychololgist and therapist and social workers ever since that day.Then she's spends a couple of more hours convincing her school that yes,it is absolutely alright that she is in her dorm alone for two weeks and that no,she would not attempt to kill herself.She feels like the school is not the only one that needs convincing of this fact.Finally,she arrives home,sits down,and writes this journal
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jessa_lynne

08-20-07 9:38pm

you okay now?

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