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| anachronism (profile) wrote, on 10-30-2007 at 3:33pm | |
| Current mood: thoughtful Music: The Kinks Subject: Quotes. |
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| Joe recently posted old quotes from my journal and it got me thinking of how I made a word document of all of the quotes over the years and it ended up being 58 pages in size 10 font. Nice, huh? Anyway, here are all of the quotes basically ever quoted for you to save and probably eventually actually get through! Enjoy. 2009: Ponies are eternal! - Keith Some retarts are smart retarts. - Dad I get a small penis vibe from him, don't you? - Erika Oh, definitely! - Stacy With some guys you can just tell. - Erika You can pick your nose, comb your hair, whatever you like. - UD He had the H-I-V. - Gma *Matt burps I'm hungry. - Jessica S I like how when Matt burps you realize you're hungry.. - Stacy It smells like I gotta eat! - Jessica S It's like, I gotta baby in the oven! - Stacy *pause Oh my God.. I meant bun in the oven! - Stacy I wish I was a boy every day of my life. - Stacy If I was a boy I'd be gay. - Stacy What is that on your finger?! - Natalie Oh, I wear this at work so people judge me less. - Erika I'd let you feel, but to do that you'd have to touch me in an inappropriate place. - Erika Well, isn't that more of a reason to feel? - Stacy Take your ugly red jacket and go, bitch! Get the fuck outta here! - Jessi G Stacy, you look SO good. You're gonna get a piece! - Natalie If this is what I have to do to get a piece it's not even worth it! - Stacy I'm twenty mother fucking one years old! - Natalie We'll all be sleeping when we're dead! - Natalie *while watching TV I love dick! - Stacy Um. Ok... - Christian No, the guy! - Stacy If I looked like that I wouldn't leave the house! They should put her in the window for Halloween! Sell her face as a mask! - Dave Every time I finish talking I think "why don't you just shut up?!" to myself. -Gma Look at me, I'm a platypus! - Matt W Suck your dick, go to bed. - Katie C It was ok.. not really worth $3. - Dustin Well, if something isn't worth as little as $3 it wasn't really good.. - Stacy Yeah.. - Dustin They always come home when I'm tapping a keg or tapping something else.. - Bum I'm very attracted to men who are covered in tattoos they don't believe in. - Stacy My penis is lonely. - Matt or Corey? I want my ground chuck, bitch! - Jessica G They say this guy's gay, but boy can he sing. - Gma I don't like people wah wahing! - Gma Does Office Max sell office supplies? - Gma Don't mimic beating up a fake person. - Jessica ? How many times do I have to come here and watch them dance before they fuck me?! - Stacy Stacy - So we got posters of the b-boy crew and so you know we were ... jerk'n it (at the same time as I said "jerk'n it" Natalie said, "masturbating." oooo he has a Facebook! - Stacy *clicks his name OOOOHHH. - Stacy, Jessica *most beautifully romantic photo of himself and his girlfriend is set as his pro pic Well, he looks like a cheater. - Jessica Yeah, he does... - Stacy So you think he'd get with me?! - Jessica For a second I thought you meant the cheater comment as a bad thing, but really all you want to know is if he'd get with you! - Stacy Yeeaahh. - Jessica He'd be like, "I have a girlfriend!" - Natalie And I'd be like, "And I have a boyfriend! Why are we pointing out the obvious?" - Stacy When did all of our conversations turn to only talking about getting laid? - Stacy Ever since we started being friends? - Jessica D-twer! - Dustin I don't worry. There was the great depression the year I was born and look how good that went. - Gma Don't drank and drive! - Ron Wheaton I'm on drank, mother f*cker! - Ron W I don't watch the news. The news is so gross. - Gma This lady is so lucky, well.. I shouldn't say lucky. She's had cancer and her husband died. But she lives right on the shore in Mackinac! -Gma What's on the ground? - Dustin Pure urine. - Stacy Purein! - Ron People really love dicks. - Stacy I couldn't even if I wanted to. - Ron Wheaton (while drunk, referring to having sex) I couldn't stop throwing up. It was like a salsa factory, Ron's salsa factory! - Ron Wheaton Once we take it out where are we going to put it? - Luke Grala That's what she said! - Stacy Cain ...and for certain positions you need a chair or it's really difficult and hurts. You get really sore and have to, like, bend weird. - Ron Wheaton That's what she said! - Stacy Cain You're a masochist. - Mishy Do you really think I am? - Stacy I do think that sometimes... -Mishy Oh my God, I am! - Stacy I love anything pizza. If you were like "Here, have this pizza cup cake!" I'd eat it. - Stacy Eww. - Mishy Pizza soup, pizza pasta, pizza lollipops... -Stacy That is SO sick! - Mishy Is it? IS IT?! - Stacy Yes. It really is. Even thinking about it. -Mishy I do feel slightly sick now.. -Stacy Hi. My name is Stacy and I get on Facebook a million times a day, but I can't get on MSN to let you know I had a nice time shopping and tell you about what I got. I AM TOO BUSY AND IMPORTANT FOR THAT. - Mishy Hi... - Stacy WHATEVER DID I DO TO DESERVE TO BE GRACED WITH YOUR PRESENCE, YOUR HIGHNESS?! - Mishy I have something to tell you.. that you already know. -Stacy Oh, well please enlighten me. - Mishy And you know what THAT'S FINE. If you want... (this is all too inappropriate)... then YOU GET WHAT YOU GET! YOU REAP WHAT YOU SEW! YOU MAKE YOUR BED! YOU LIE IN IT! YOU PAY THE PIPER! - Mishy I hate the word horny. I refuse to use it. - Stacy It's just the word people use. You don't have to use it. You can say something else. I am aroused. - Mishy I am aroused. It's all technical! - Stacy Which is so much worse. - Mishy I am feeling sexually excited. - Stacy Ew! I am VERY aroused. - Mishy I am violently aroused. - Stacy I am unreadable, but I expect to be read. - Stacy It's not even like joking. It's like joking about joking about being subtle about joking. I would have NO idea what the fuck you wanted. I would shake you and be like, LOOK LADY, WHAT DO YOU WANT?! - Mishy He has no sense of humor. He was saying boring things about how his sisters and him and some cousin all have birthdays in May and I made some joke like, "I guess all the women in your family get horny around the same time of year!" haha. And he was like, "It just works out that way, I don't know why." - Mishy ------------------------------------------ Take a drink of me drinking this! - Stacy ...I am not evil! - Stacy No. You are not evil. But good people sometimes do evil things. And this is not evil, just selfish. -Mishy What do I do?! - Stacy The way I see it, you have three options (1. and 2. give out too much information so I am skipping to the funny last one) 3.Go on this way, and change nothing and be miserable. I don't suggest 3. -Mishy You robot licked my vagina, surprise fingered me, and it felt like I was kissing my brother. So, NO. We're not dating! - Stacy That's how nice I am. I let people rape me. - Stacy I like the attention. Not the 'I love you' attention, the 'I want to do you' attention. That sounds horrible.. - Stacy No it doesn't. - Mishy Loving Good Charlotte was like being drunk for an entire two years. Correction... having a hang over for two years. -Jake Watson One second, I’ll be back in thirty seconds. -Christian He’s back. No? –Mishy He is. –Stacy I wonder if he still looks like pig vomit. -Mishy He says I’m too close minded to accept any of it. –Ashley Whatever. He's too much of an ass to exist. -Stacy There’s a cute couple. They kind of look alike... –Grandma Sometimes I'm going to be a guy, you know what I mean? Sometimes I want to screw the walls. -Christian Does it look like I care about what your name is? This is not a happy place! -Pete I told my mom I was going to run outside naked to grab my clothes and she said, “Be careful you’ll give yourself a black eye!” -Christian I hate only having one hand. -Stacy Shoot me in the head, I’ll be dead in the morning. -Dad I need to be a lesbian. –Stacy Marry Sammie. Hot couple. -Mishy How many rooms are there? -Stacy There’s like 70 million. –Phil Hoskins Phil! Do you always have to exaggerate!? –Stacy Ok, there’s only 24 million. –Phil H You know when I have something planned I have it all in my head how I want it? -Dad What if I didn’t live until tomorrow? Then I’d be dead! -Dad Those are even more awesomer! -Mom I wouldn't have cared if I didn't. -Sydney I get you when you’re old and you get me while I’m young and sexy. -Stacy Well, if we die at least we’re not alive anymore and that’s the bright side! -Stacy There's more to life than movies and twinkies. –Ashley S Yeah, I didn’t see that bus. -Mitch Yeah, giant yellow busses are hard to miss, with the big red flashing sign. -Stacy Fuck you Stacy! –Mitch A Now how about that blow job? -Mitch A *blank stare* -Stacy Shucks! –Mitch A ..At least you tried… -Stacy Now every time I see her I think, ‘manatee, manatee!” -Stacy Good thing I have legs! -Ashley She smells like she is rotting! –Ashley S You buy junk, you get junk! -Dad You know what turns me on? Blowjobs. As soon as someone starts giving me a blowjob; huge turn on. –Mitch A Every time I laugh my vagina hurts. –Sammie P Didn’t you know your jaw bone is connected to your vagina? –Stacy *sings The Jaw bone’s connected to the vagina bone* -Sammie What does oblivious mean? –Some stupid kid It means you don’t know what’s going on, so you should probably write yourself down for that one. –Jamie Innis I get fast really ready. –Stacy She’s oblivious about being oblivious. –Mishy This sad is really song. -Stacy Well it’s called… I don’t know what it’s called. -Ashley Splooge is a gross word. Splooooooge. -Ron Shut the lights off. I’m dancing. –Dad You take a crap in the toilet, it smells. –Dad I’m a noodle man. -Dad …and the gummy worms would have to fly. –Lisa’s mom (crazy) Well, yeah… they’d fly! -Dustin That was a given! -Stacy Come on, pussy…get in the car right now and drive! You’ve done it before, why not risk your life again? Dude, I’ve been riding with you when you’ve been more drunk.You’re fine. Wow…I think I am the only friend that would try to get their friend to drive drunk. –Big Nasty I want to be a bird. Look… they have so many friends! -Stacy What?! -Lisa I would never have that many friends. You always see them sitting on telephone wires with like 18 other birds. -Stacy Hahaha. –Lisa I’d be the one right there *points* it’s all by itself. Awe! Another bird just scootched over to him! -Stacy They never sit over the roads, they’re always like on the side. -Lisa Well, they’re probably scared. I mean there’s cars! -Stacy They get to shit on people though. -Lisa Oh my God! I never thought about that. Now, I really wanna be a bird. If I was pissed I could just shit on people! -Stacy Hahahaha. –Lisa I want to be a bird for one day and eat as much as I can, then go and shit on everyone I hate. -Stacy And you know what? If I was a bird I’d build my house somewhere cool. Not in the ‘A’ at Wal Mart. I’d have a huge ass house. –Stacy You know me, I’m a wood man. –Dad You can say whatever you want about me, but we’re gonna have kitchen cabinets in two weeks. -Dad Oh, God. The first thing I see when I get into your town; “Tractor Supply.” –Devin That was the longest piss of my life. I seriously just spilled like 5 gallons of piss. -Devin He was a big nasty. -Devin The only time I am not having fun is when I am trying to have fun. -Devin I love to complain. The more I complain the happier I am. -Devin So, what if you’re not complaining? Should I make you do something you can complain about? -Stacy I don’t know. You’ll just be confused, because if you think I’m happy I could be having a terrible time. -Devin They say how you spend your new year is how the rest of the year is going to be. –Ashley Then I would have been stoned all year! -Stacy I wouldn’t want to get poop on my dick. –Ron W I wonder what kind of noises Chewbacca would make in bed. –Big Nasty Screw family, I have sweat pants to wear. –Big Nasty Slitting my throats! –Danielle Dacon is bangerous. –Stacy There is nothing better than going home and sitting in sweat pants all day. –Big Nasty He was like, “I’ll shave your balls!” I wasn’t even upset. I was like, “Really? You’d do that for me?” –Big Nasty I don’t get full, I get full of something. Then I can eat something else. A meal and ice cream are two different things! –Stacy I wanted to ask for his number, but I thought it may be a little inappropriate to reach across his girlfriend to get it. -Stacy …I don't think you can get arrested for lying. -Ron Have you ever seen her dance? What does she dance like? –Stacy Like everyone one else, except she’s fat. –Lisa Just head. -Mishy I bet you hear that a lot. Oh, burn! –Stacy I’m naughty. I spend more on pretty paper towel. –Grandma She’s so dramatic. _Lisa I am not dramatic! I’m never talking to you again! –Stacy You know what would be cool; a macaroni hut! -Stacy How old is she? Two?! And she don’t have a job? Kick her ass out. -Torrell They’re all like, “Oh my God, the only one with a penis, let’s follow him!” –James Why did you take that class? -Mishy It’s easy! -Stacy They have Lisa as a class now? –James How could anyone hate you? -Mikey Easily. I’m kind of a bitch and sort of evil. -Stacy Can I have your alarm clock? -Stacy If you take your shirt off. -James What if I take my socks off? -Stacy If your socks are on your boobs. -James I want to listen to Moby. –Dustin I don’t like fish. -Keith There’s only one God and that’s me. -Dad I don’t even want to say it. I can’t. It’s just going too far. -Stacy Like we’re not used to hearing you say inhumane things all the time. -Erika …with my buddy Torrell. –James G He’s black then isn’t he? -Stacy Well, with a name like Torrell you better be black or you're going to get your ass kicked by everyone that is! –James G I remember the first time we made out. We barely knew each other, he was pry drunk off his ass. The taste of vodka on his lips and the way he completely smelled like pot... yeah, it was romantic. –Stacy …prostitute. –Mrs. Olsen Stacy, I had a dream about you last night! –Ron Was I a prostitute? –Stacy No! – Ron Oh, so that word just makes you think of me..? -Stacy He fucking fucked her! -Mishy I am only a bitch to people who are bitchy to me. Oh, and beaners. –Kelly And the cat was all like…being a cat, ya know? –Brandi Totten What’s the difference between this dog and the other dog? -Matt That one's a faggot! -Stacy Argh! I’m pillow faaace! -Matt I like pooping! Unless, it’s hard. The soft poop is good. –Brittani M Stacy, you were a manipulative, conniving, bitch when you were five years old! –Mishy You smoke? -H No, I used to a little, but not really. -Stacy Wait…smoke what? -Mishy Shut up! –Stacy Look, her neck is red! –H Yup. His tongue was in my mouth! -Stacy ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You know something ironic? This girl who went to my school, she had aids right... well she had a kid and named it Aiden. No joke. –Brent Oh, it’s ok. It’s not like I worked on that for an entire year and was 95% done. Don’t worry about it, it’s not a big deal…I’m just gonna go crazy and shoot people. –Andy B I’m not wearing underwear. –Matt H I know, I can tell from the exact replica of your dick! –Andy B He’s black so he’s not smart. Right? –Ryan M Dude, it’s not him. The license plates are different. –Matt Well, obviously they switched ‘em! –Ryan M This movie (Ninja Turtles II) made me who I am today. I can’t believe I thought this was real when I was little! –Matt H I was gonna give you a blow job, Troy! Now, you’re gonna have to deal with just a hand job. –Ryan M Fuck the back off! –Matt W As long as we’re in Cedar we’ll never be the only bitches in a room. –Stacy If anyone says Ninja Turtles 3 is fucking bomb I will kill them. -Matt Ninja Turtles fucking 3 is bomb. –Stacy I had a dream that Santa Clause came after me, but he was really an alien and when I shot him he turned invisible. –Andy I like pooping, unless it’s hard. –Brittani M I have to poop. –Brittani M She’s so nice. -Kelly She’s ugly. –Stacy Wow. Um... she’s…pretty? -Stacy You’re going to hell. –Kelly I hate when you think your outfit is really cool then you get to school and you’re like, “What the fuck? I look like shit!” –Kelly Rawww! -Kelly What the hell are you doing? -Stacy That lady was going to get in the elevator! -Kelly Nigger what? Kelly Necca! –Stacy I’ve seen pregnant porn. At that moment I decided to never have sex. Well, I mean…not while I’m pregnant. –Stacy I want to have sex everywhere! Seriously. –Stacy She made spaghetti and her thong was hanging out. It was so sexy. –Matt Hinton He was like, “Can’t anyone spell P U S S Y?” Hahaha, and he spelled it! –Matt Hinton Shut your dirty, filthy mouth. -Stacy I really want to run out there and say, “Wee wee, pee pee!” I will someday. –Stacy Hold on, I have pop in my pants! –Ron Wheaton Shut up, there’s chips in my shirt! -Stacy Did you grab the nipples? -Lady at garage sale Grapes! Let’s buy ‘em then put ‘em in our pants! -Stacy It's like a slimy snake on my face. -Kate Shelton I like to lick things. -Lisa Leonard Who is this? He's on a bed. -Stacy On a bed? It's gotta be James. -Lisa Leonard The Beanery? What? Do they make beaners? -Lisa Leonard Birdies! I want to kick them in the head! -Stacy Dude, there is no red light. -Joe Castine Yeah you can. -Dustin Cain Yeah you can..? -Joe Castine Living where Nazis are is just keeping the Jews away from you. -Dustin Cain You're a hairy turtle. -Lisa Leonard Suck my hairy turtle! -Joe Castine It looks like someone ejaculated in your doughnut. -Joe Castine We just grinded each others vaginas! -Erika Childs I am unlimited minutes. -Joe Castine Your seat smells funny. -Stacy Look! I'm a deer. -Dustin Cain I'm a sizzlin' tan pan! -Joe Castine A sizzling tampon? -Lisa Leonard I'm food. Want my meat? -Joe Castine You're hilarious. -Stacy I think I'm hill something else. -Lisa Leonard It's a pen -Stacy ..is -Lisa Leonard That would hurt your ears if you had them on. -Lisa Leonard He doesn't have his ears on? -Joe Castine Does it have asparagus in it? I think you should check if it has asparagus in it. -Lisa Leonard I think your face has asparagus in it. -Stacy Really? Then it must smell like pee. -Lisa Leonard You're an idiot. -Stacy I'm good at turning things on. -James Golden You can be distinct, like croutons. -Mrs. Ahmed It's hard to be intimidating when you're on your knees. -Lisa Leonard Go to hell! -Stacy I'll see you fucking there bitch! -Michelle Fraser My face is right next to your vagina. I totally just looked at your vagina. -Becky Visser Ar, ar, ar! -Stacy Is that what I sound like...a seal? -Michelle Fraser I'm going to hell. I stole from a bible camp. -James Golden I can't stare at them too long, they'll want my hot sex. -Joe Castine I'm a dumbass. That makes me an average guy in Cedar Springs. -James Golden I'd be nervous not wearing a dress in front of you. -James Golden We have new jigga boos in the neighborhood. -My mother See that blue chirping squirrel? -Brandi Totten Ummm.. -Stacy Well! He stole my cup cake! -Brandi Totten Do you know how much better the world would be if we all sang when we talked? -Dustin Cain Yeah, pull down your pants to expose the pickles. -Lisa Leonard Let’s find all the men magazines. Ya know EQ? -Erika Childs Um…do you mean GQ? -Stacy I need to waterproof the willy. -James Golden Did he let you see his vagina yet? -Becky Visser It's not like you made the fucking movie, don't get upset when I say it sucks! -Michelle Fraser I need to lick something. -Lisa Leonard I was nervous. Yes, even God can get nervous. -James Golden I'm sorry, but I have to squeeze my boobs. -Erika Childs My vagina is dry. -Erika Childs I can fix that. -Becky Visser Shut up ya dykey, dykey bitch! -Stacy I'm Russian, baby! Want me to prove it to you? -Becky Visser The butter! It was just sitting there. -Stacy Don't wiggle your worm in front of me. -Erika Childs I'll wiggle it if I want to. -Stacy Oh, I already wiggled your worm. -Becky Visser You wanna go? Fire! -Dustin Cain You're kinda retarded. -Joe Castine Ewe…some sand just fell in my face. -Lisa Leonard Yeah, that was from my ass. -Becky Visser Want me to come in and drop worms from my mouth? -Stacy Lisa doesn't money. -Stacy We're vagina deep. -Erika Childs Come on, take your shirt off. -Becky Visser I can feel your vagina on my neck. -Becky Visser Maybe this isn't the right time to tell you I have a penis. -Erika Childs I wondered what that was. -Becky Visser I have five boobs protruding from my naked skin. -Erika Childs Is there anything you can't shove up your shirt? -Lisa Leonard Oh, I've came. That's all you need to know. -Becky Visser Excuse me, I need to rub my balls on the floor. -Stacy It's a mini van. With a siren on it! -Dustin Cain I saw a dog run into a trash can today and I was like "It's blind!" -Michelle Fraser I'm turning myself on. I'll tell you what. -Becky Visser He was a nice rapist. -Kate Shelton In my dream Britney Spears saved me. -Erika Childs Don't worry I'll put my nose in your ear someday. -Kate Shelton What is that? -Erika Childs I don't know, it was in James's pants. -Stacy Are you serious? Your brother just ate one. -Erika Childs I can castrate you with this. -Joe Castine If only I had a penis. -Lisa Leonard I have a penis! -Stacy I just ate your carpet, I'm a carpet eater! -Erika Childs Is it limp? -Stacy ..I need to bend down and rub my balls all over the floor. -Becky Visser You've got hair all over, but it's white. -Erika Childs Jiggly faggot! -Dustin Cain I wonder if I could wiggle my tongue through all these holes. -Erika Childs Awe she's so cute. -Becky Visser Yeah, for a little bitch. -Stacy You're making it rub on your leg. -Lisa Leonard That's how I navigate. -Joe Castine I think I smell bad. Man, I smell bad. -Erika Childs Why are you rubbing Christina Aguliera on your neck? -Stacy Would you rather me rub it on your neck? -Erika Childs You're too easy, Dustin. -Joe Castine I don't mean die as in dead. -Dustin Cain It's not a gummy worm. -Lisa Leonard But...it was in my pants… -Stacy For one it's Joeys, for two it's mine. -Bradley Blair When I'm happy I don't pee on people or rape them. -Phil Maas I wish my penis did that, it'd make things a lot easier. -Bradley Blair I'm winning. In my pants! -Joe Castine You fuck uncles, you uncle fucker! -James Golden Well eff me in the a! -Joe Castine How come everything always ends up on Brad’s penis? -Stacy Shut up, bitch tits! -Bradley Blair I'm not supposed to die, the world is gonna need me. -Phil Maas Hey, wanna put anything else up your shirt? -Lisa Leonard Dude, that's a kids toy and it vibrates. -Stacy They need to experience while they're young. -Bradley Blair Fondle yourself as much as you can. -Joe Castine What the piss! -Joe Castine This garbage is really heavy. -Joe Castine The garbage is awful happy? -Stacy I don't have it. -Joe Castine No you don't! -Lisa Leonard What is cooter cake made out of? Jessi Hazen Cooter. -Jessie Wilde All I heard was surfer and transvestite. -Lisa Leonard She doesn't like me, I have a penis. -Mitch Armstrong That's why she likes me. Oh! Burn on myself! -James Golden If you have to put your head into her boobs, I'm fine with that. -Justin (beaver) I'm like the sky! I'll always be there…watching! You can't ignore me! -Keith If I come over I have to wear your underwear. -Becky Visser My grandma calls me a slut. -Kamal I was walking in the house with my pants off and my mom ran into me and was like "Nice package ya got there." Then she was like "I meant your stomach!" -James Golden It's limp, you gotta make it strong! -Joe Castine Stacy, if I loved you any more it'd be illegal. -Justin (beaver) I have a penis! -Dylan Ross Those funny black people and their funny black music. -Joe Castine Dude, I so want to fuck that car. -Stacy Well I'm gonna fuck it while you're fucking it! -Bradley Blair Who do they think I is? -Dustin Cain This is what happens when you hit every branch of the ugly tree. -Joey Domina I could blame it on my Doctor, but that bastard died. -My Father Wow, this song sucks! -Joe castine Well, I like it. -Stacy I'm sorry. -Joe It's ok.. -Stacy No. I'm sorry that you like this song. It sucks! -Joe Nothing better than waking up in a barn somewhere with a g-string on your head and herpes. -Ben Birk This sounds like chinese porn music. -Lisa Leonard What time it is? -Lisa Leonard I'm gonna kill the dead thing. -Dustin Cain He, Lisa did you eat cereal this morning? -Joe Castine Yeah, I did actually. -Lisa Leonard Were they bitch flakes?! -Joe I can see him saying, "I think I forgot, but I don't remember." -Stacy I want a kilt so my danglies can dangle. -Ben Birk How'd you know they weren't homeless? -Stacy Homeless people don't wear sunglasses. -Lisa and Joe (at the exact same time) As soon as you feel uncomfortable tell me. -Erika Childs Well, you are rubbing my leg. -Stacy I have to push my fingers through the hole. -Lisa Leonard I like gay guys, because they take other men so we get more women. -Dustin Cain Dude, seriously. I'm totally rushing to Best Buy and running through the doors sweating, screaming, "Where is it mother fuckers! Seriously, move out of the God damned cock sucking way! I need to get the DVD now! Anyone in my way will be killed! Anyone! -Matt W I'll get her the same thing I got her last year. Nothing. -Justin (beaver) Why'd he come over? -Michelle Fraser Because he's ugly! -Erika Childs We don't want you to die. We want you to live with a horrible disease. -Michelle Fraser How's the dead bunnie? -Erika Childs It's dead, it's doing good. -Stacy She's the mother fucking anti-christ! -Mitch Armstrong We need to get bucket seats and put them on horses. -Dustin Cain I want to be black so I can say nigger cool. -Matt W I will urinate all over my face! -Matt W Sprinkles of cheesy joy! -Kate Shelton There was only like four of us, well, the rest were Chinese people. -Lisa Leonard Yeah, well they don't count. -Stacy Exactly! -Lisa Your telephone is ringing. -Lisa Leonard I'll answer it later. -Stacy Jesus was black. -Kate Shelton What ya doing? -Stacy Drawing a crappy star for you and now it's flying away to get away from you. -Kate Shelton Ok, it says, 'No loitering' and there's a bench sitting here. -Joey Domina I wish I had herpes and a better chance of cancer. -Ben Birk Ya know what would make this day better? -Stacy What? -Lisa Leonard Ponies! -Stacy Look at the Indian, he looks like an Indian! -Joe Castine I want some of those pizza things that are like in a roll, what are those called? -Dustin Cain Pizza rolls. -Stacy Yeah! -Dustin Man, that would suck if you were a potato. -Kate Shelton I stroke it every hour. -Kate Shelton He was like "I have thought more than you will in your entire life!" and I was like "Yeah, because it's so hard." -Matt W I'm not racist. Look at the little black kid! -Joe Castine Lisa, what are you on? -Dustin Cain Ninja cops! They are jumping out of the trees! -Lisa Leonard Look, a black kid riding a bike! -Joe Castine Yeah., who knew black people could ride bikes? -Matt W I just zipped my penis up. -Bradley Blair How is that possible? I mean it's so small. -Joe Castine Shut up man, it stings! -Brad I just chicken packeted you. -Kate Shelton You're like a….light bulb -Stacy Are I just a ice bulb? -Kate Shelton What?! -Stacy I'm moving so fast it looks like I have two hands. -Bradley Blair Don't mess with my ass punisher! - Joey Domina If I had a dream I could stop prejudice. -Kate Shelton I broke the toilet. -Joey Domina Can I rub nuts all over your face? -Matt W Please?! -Stacy All I ask is that you don't touch my nut box. -Stacy When you grow up you're gonna be a free sample grandma. -Matt W He had poo poo paintings in his underwear. -Joey Domina Yeah, a dancing midget with peanut butter stole my keys! -Joe Castine I'm gonna save the dead animals. -My mother It's a dog. Why would it have legs? -Stacy Fuck up! -Lisa Leonard You can't be angry when you're naked. -Joe Castine If I wanted to see shitty re-runs I'd sit at home and watch Darma and Greg! -Matt W Don't rub your nuts on my face. -Kate Shelton My mom comes home and is like, "I just got done spreading my legs and sucking cock, want money?" -Matt W Matt, I'm gonna get you a DVD rewinder for your birthday! -Joe Castine Wait…those don't exist! -Stacy Oh…my...God, Stacy. -Matt W I remember when that deer jumped out in front of me. It scared the shit outta me! -Casey What about the Taradactyl? That thing was huge! -Blake You can't get pregnant from shitty diapers. -Joe Castine My nuts are making a noise! -Joey Domina Fuck my mom! -Matt W Hard! -Stacy Everyone thinks the grim reaper is bad…he just cuts the wheat. -Blake Satan's children! They're in the corn field. -Blake Dude, kid my ball is better than yours, it's purple. -Lisa Leonard Joey, do you hate me? -Stacy Mm…Strawberry shake. -Joey Domina Shut up you apple pie humper! -Joey Domina I'm gonna burrow into a cacoon. -Kate Shelton Why? So you can evolve into a bigger bitch!? -Matt W I'm hungry. -Joe Castine Eat my ass! -Matt W Air head! Your head is all…full of air! -Joey Domina I'm gonna burrow into your crotch. -Matt W Ewe. Why? -Justin Perry It's warm. -Matt W If you were a popsicle you'd be bad stuff flavored! -Matt W Sorry, I had to leap. Joey was reaming me in the ass. -Matt W Well slap me and tell me it's morning! -My mother A cock, I had one of those once. -Joey Domina I made him eat grass and called him a goat boy. -Adrianne McCluer Everyone that cries goes to hell. -Blake This little girl is like, "They won't play with me, because I'm little." and I said Barney should say, "No. They won't play with you because you're a chink!" -Stacy Hahaha, you suck! You're making racist comments about Barney! -Phil Maas It tastes like crap seasoned with shit. -Stacy Breast cancer, army guys. What's the difference? No one likes them, and you're just trying to kill it! -Matt W My dad held a baby while it died. -Joey Domina How'd it die? -Stacy Got hit by a car. -Joey While he was holding it!? -Stacy I'm gonna name the killer. I'm gonna name it…Killer! -Stacy Ah! I need my glasses, I can't see! -Dustin Cain I don't care about your needs! -Matt W I don't like stupid people. -My mom You don't like yourself? That's sad. -Dustin Cain Want to touch my hole? -Kate Shelton I hate this song because I have to dance to it with my fingers. -James Golden The flowers stole our pants! -Kate Shelton I want to steal the wide load sign and staple it to my mom. -Kate Shelton Wouldn't it suck if everything you stole got shoved up your ass in hell? -James Golden Why is there shit on your dick? -Matt W Because I fucked you in the ass. -James Golden For $500 I'd do anyone in the butt. -Matt W I didn't say you were retarded, I said you were stupid. -James Golden Brad's having sex with a deer -Kelly Metzger He's dumb in the not dumb kinda way -Stacy I'm gonna stick my wood in your pooper -Brad Blair Box means vagina so I'm gonna call him gina! -Joe That cop wanted my hot sex -Joe If you were bald, I wouldn't talk to you -Stacy I hate her, because she's really hot -Kate Shelton Lets have sex really quick -Kelly Metzger She was always a bitch, she just went dormant for awhile -Mitch Armstrong They were playing black people music. -Joe I'm on drugs, so it's ok. -Raych Maybe as I get older I will be less ugly -Lisa Leonard Probably not. -Stacy Have you ever seen a duck with a lot of junk? -Denee' Millering I got slapped with the ugly stick. -Mr.Reyburn It's not my fault you're a dirty beaner. -Mitch Armstrong He's right, that's Gods fault. -Stacy It's a bean! -Kaylen Merlington A bean…er. -Mitch Armstrong You smell like man. -Jenny R Hey Stacy, wanna make out? -Erika Childs Hitler was a pansy. -Brenton I bet I've got his whole head to myself. -Kate Shelton What do you want for Christmas Kate? -James Golden Staaacy. -Kate Shelton The carbon monoxide alarm went off so I stayed in the house. -Brenton Jesus is a lesbian. -Michelle Fraser How's your naked mom doing? -Joe No frontal probing! -Mr.Andrus Stop innapropriately touching eachother. -Mr.Andrus I bet my ancestors were Nazis. -Brenton Greg is a pile of grumpy horse shit. -Ben Birk Stacy, want to get married? -Mitch Armstong Yeah! Wait. To you? No! -Stacy My wife and I came up with a solution to our problems...she hits me -Mr.Cooper If a guy is nice to a girl what does that mean? -Denee' Millering He doesn't like you -Mr.Cooper I'm sorry if this cramps your style, but you're gonna have to be...cramped -Mr.Andrus ..yeah because a big marshmallow is so scary. -Phil Hoskins Remember when we came up with that really cool word, then found out it was already a word? Man, that sucked -Stacy She's so…boobie -Denee' Millering They taste like dirty Nazis - Matt W I have stolen so many things. If I was gonna get caught it would have all ready happened -Stacy Stop making me horny -Tony Wiers Well, I can't call it stealing when it shoulda been free! -Michelle Fraser You let the coldness in my pants. -Kate Shelton I'm gonna castrate him with my own hands! -Denee' Millering Shut up, you Iraqi slut! -Brenton You elbowed by penis. -Dylan Ross Help us lick Breast Cancer away! -Matt W Lets have cyber sex! -Becky Visser I had poo on my shirt...no! like pooh bear! -Kate Shelton I'm gonna light her boobs on fire! -Denee' Millering Nipples...what? -Emily Rowe Breast cancer is awesome! -Matt W You're a Arab banger! -Brenton Oh my God, I can't see Jesus! -Mitch Armstrong ..it's like stuff that was free yesterday. -Mr.Andrus How do you know so much about herpes? -Amanda something What's camel toe...does that mean I have a big toe? -stupid girl in 6th hour Yes. -Stacy Phil kissed me on the cheek -Mitch Armstrong Was he drunk? -Stacy ...yeah because applying poop is so difficult. -James Golden Makes me want to bang you like a fucking drum. -Mitch Armstrong Don't be a fool, know your trees! -James Golden I wake up every morning, saying. "Damnit, I'm alive." -Brenton Oh penises? I love them! -Denee' Millering I ran over two gay guys on a motor bike. -Phil-Himself Go tell your mom I masturbated with your arm. -Matt W All right. -Stacy Time to hog tie some boobs! -Denee' Millering Mitch's assholeness is not a reason to punish everyone. -Phil-Himself Anyone want my pickle? -Phil-Himself Do you have a bus? -Kate Shelton That's what hippies do...walk around and fondle people. -Jay Ruster Mr. Reyburn was mad at Stacy, because she wouldn't touch his vagina. -Phil-Himself Don't make me whine, because I'll start whining! -Chris Best When I say mean things I don't mean them, because I'm not Mitch. -Phil-Himself I need insulin for my leukemia. -Ian The only thing Phil and I have in common is that we occasionally crank one out. -Mitch Armstrong Damn curb niggers! -Matt W Here comes Cyclopes, lets trip her! -Matt W Bull crap, shut your trap! -Brad Blair If my dad called me easy I'd be like, "Yeah I did mom last night!" -Jay Ruster Niggers! -Jay Ruster Umm...they're white. -Matt W Paint my face white! I wanna look like a clown! -Jay Ruster A soggy biscuit on her face. -Jay Ruster Ihop ith goo. -Kate Shelton There are tampons everywhere...all over my face! -Matt W Yay! Pot leaves! -Kate Shelton Sh! Mrs.Sassypants has something to say. -Matt W Why are you home late? -My mother Because…I didn't get here on time… -Stacy I'm such a non-confomist I'm not going to drive on the road! -Matt W I'm gonna stick my foot up your bum hole. -Brad Blair He is such a gay faggot! -Kate Shelton You are such a giant piece of shit. -Stacy Fuck you, you mother fucking sun, I hope you fucking explode, mother fucker! -Jay Ruster You don't look gay, you faggot. -James Golden The world would be a better place if my dad would have used a condom. -Ben Birk Crash into corn fields, those are fine. -Mr. Relich It looks like you gave a pixie a blow job. -Ben Birk Hey, Ben what do you look like when you get out of the shower…I mean your hair! -Neilee Metzger The only light you see is your big white ass because your head is shoved so far up it. –Phil Maas Wait, if my head was shoved up my ass, how would I be able to see it? -Mitch Armstrong Because you have an ass inside of your ass and that is the ass that you are looking at. -Phil Most of us don't have three feet. -Mr. Relich Did you see that warning sign? -Mr. Bamford Yeah... -Phil-Himself Don't lie to me -Mr.Bamford Sorry, I was thinking about jazz. -Phil-Himself Oh God. I have a bunch of negative Nancies in my car! -Matt W We're naked and lathering lotion all over ourselves, saying, "Stacy, Stacy." -Erika Childs Damn, fucking. -Kate Shelton Stacy, I'm gonna kick you in the balls. -Matt W I'm gonna be nice and not tell you how stupid you are. -James Golden Come here, get on your knees, come closer. Nooo, not with your face… -Matt W You are rubbing my balls on your face. -James Golden Don't worry, I can give you all butt sex. -James Golden I don't like nipples. -Kate Shelton Speaking of penises... I'm hungry -James Golden Uh oh! We got a grumpy gus! -Ben Birk My finger was in your ass, but it happened so fast you didn't notice. -James Golden Awe .it's a picture of a man hanging himself! -Nolan Davis Will you go roll in granola? - Kaylen Merlington Only after you dip me in honey. -Neilee Metzger Oh, great. Now I have to go put my lips on some dummy. -Stacy ..which increases your weiner size.. -James Golden I need that, mines a little below average. -Stacy She stabbed me in the face…with a Dorito! -Ben Birk Am I ever gonna be a beautiful princess? -James Golden I can stick my penis in your pooper. -James Golden Stacy, they were making fun of me! -Becky Visser About what? -Stacy ..how small my penis is -Becky Visser We all have breasticles! -Erika Childs Let’s go run around naked in the rain. -Erika Childs You'll be as dead as a dirty penguin vagina. -Michelle Fraser You have only let me see your penis like three times. -Becky Visser That makes me all hot just thinking about it. -Jay Ruster I only had one ball, until I was five. I got surgery then, bloop! There was the other one! -Jeff Warner No one wants fruit roll-up from my crack. -Brad Blair I apologize for the boner I may or may not be getting. -James Golden Her head reminds me of chocolate cake. -Kate Shelton Do you believe in marshmallows? -Kate Shelton Why would you take Spanish?! -Stacy Because I thought it would be more useful with all the new beaners around. -Kate Shelton Did you just hit me in the face with a spiral noodle? - Kate Shelton What do you think? Would a doctor Suess hat go with the khaki pants? -Courtany Lallo How would you like it if I talked about my cock all the time? -Stacy Your windows are all fogged up, we need to stop having sex. - Kate Shelton My legs hurt, we still need to stop having sex. -Kate Shelton Why do drive in atms have brail on them? Blind people can't drive -Courtany Lallo Yeah, they have this sign at Big Boy that says, ‘Brail menus available’ it's not like they can read it! -Stacy One of these days we're going to have to organize a blind riot! -Courtany Lallo So, you're gonna let me seduce you? -Kate Shelton Taco Bell is a laxative. -Courtany Lallo Well this cell phone is like ninety years old -Michelle Fraser It is not nine years old, Michelle! –Michelle’s Father I said ninety! -Michelle Fraser *seniors run by and yell, "Seniors Rule!" on senior prank day* Thirteen years of school and that's the best they could come up with. -Mr. Andrus Did you see the crazy indian? -Brad Blair Are you really color blind? -Katie Baird No, I say I'm color blind to be cool. -Ben Birk Tienes pompis grande. -Kate Shelton What's that mean? -Stacy You have a big butt! -Kate Shelton It was like standing under a guy’s limp dick. -Stacy I'd beat you down with a broomhandle, but it's caught in my pants. -James Golden How could you guys see the movie? You sat so far away –Michelle’s Mother Oh, I don't know, mom. It's not like we were in chairs facing a giant screen! -Michelle Fraser What are you good for, Stacy? I can't make out with you and you won't help me cheat on my homework. -Mitch Armstrong She called him, "Penis breath!" -Katie Baird If I wasn't being cremated, I'd want everyone to throw chocolate milk mix into my casket at my funeral. -Kate Shelton Kaylen, your boob reminds me of a story. -Neilee Metzger Which one? -Kaylen Merlington The right one. -Neilee Metzger I wonder if the guys who started the Klu Klux Klan's name was Klu Klux . -Nolan Davis Hey, Kate! -Stacy Whaaat? -Kate Shelton You smell like crap! -Stacy Stop being so hot. -Tony Wiers If I wasn't me, I'd kick the shit out of me. -Ben Birk You are my favorite lesbian. -Matt W Damn kids, and their hippity hop music! -Matt W I don't like…fat people hands. -Kate Shelton I bet it's a penis! -Stacy Wanna make out in the closet? -Phil-Himself Is that a boy or a girl? I mean…it looks kinda like a boy, because it's ugly. -Kate Shelton Dude, he just pointed at us with a hot dog. -Stacy Can I have your left nut? -Kaylen Merlington Can I drop an egg plant on your head? -Kaylen Merlington Your cooter is adorable. -Kate Shelton I look like a little Amish boy that hasn't hit puberty. -Denee' Millering He can't control his bowel movements, so he comes out of his room with crap on his pants. -Denee' Millering At the scolosis screening they told me to take off my shirt and I was like, "Whoa we just met!" -Ben Birk I'd laugh my balls off. -Ben Birk I love penises. -Stacy Rub my leg…ok now rub lower… -Erika Childs Quit discriminating against those hens, all you do is talk about the cock! -Phil-Himself If we wanted to make out, you'd need a booster chair. -Mitch Armstrong Good thing I'm not interested. -Stacy Would you like to touch my ovary? -Erika Childs Can I flash you with my vagina? -Erika Childs If you could hover would you hover in school? -Kaylen Merlington That's full flesh on tile action. -Erika Childs Yeah, I like curves. -Mr.Cooper It felt awkward and was on a stick. -Michelle Fraser When I think of penises I think of James. -Michelle Fraser We're not cousins, that means we can fuck. -Brandon Haney Who's that man wearing a dress? -Mitch Armstrong Mitch…that's a girl. -Stacy Remember that time when I was at you with the mall? -Stacy Are you jacking off with my boobs? -Kaylen Merlington I was thinking… -Michelle Fraser Oh, something to add to 'firsts' in Michelle’s baby book! -James Golden How do lesbians have safe sex? -Erika Childs Not even a retarted Helen Keller would do you. -Ben Birk Wait. So, I'm a lesbian who partakes in incest, and bestiality? -Kate Shelton I want to go back in time and have you say, "Hey, Hitler! You're a dirty Jew!" -James Golden I could suck my own cock. -Bradley Blair Sorry, to have sex with you I need a cooter. -Matt W Ass butt! -Bradley Blair I'm laying in his spluge spot. -James Golden I'm petting your rug. -Kate Shelton Was he hot? -Stacy Yeah! I mean…I don't know… -Bradley Blair I have balls all over my penis. -Bradley Blair Ewe, we're incest lesbians. -Kate Shelton You'd make out with him and you know it. -Michelle Fraser No, I wouldn't! -Bradley Blair Yes you would! -Stacy We'll see when the time comes. -Bradley Blair I don't blame you for wanting my penis. I want it too. –Joe Castine What would you do if my penis was like this? -Bradley Blair I almost crapped my pants. The poop was there man! -Denee' Millering It's been like three weeks, Stacy. It's time to let Laquisha go. -Ben Birk Stacy would do her and she's not that much of a lesbian. -Mitch Armstrong So, if your kid was in the house, burning to death you'd just say, "Oh well." -Jessica Why kill two people when you only need to kill one? -Matt B It's like she's eating a black penis. -Michelle Fraser I want to touch as many random butts as I can. -Kaylen Merlington You fingered my eye ball. -James Golden Don't touch my nipples! -Phil-Himself I just boobed you! -Kelly Metzger I like meeting the actual woohu users to see who I'm making fun of. -Andy Gunneson That kid, he dumb. -Jackie Robinson We could make out if there was a closet. -Phil-Himself Who has two thumbs and loves blowjobs? This guy! -James Golden I just saw elephants having sex. -Phil-Himself Quit looking at me you crazy Indian. I'll kill your whole tribe! -Bradley Blair I can just squint one eye and flap my arm like a retard…you'll be laughing pretty hard! -Michelle Fraser I'm chip-eye! Ar!- Kate Shelton My Aunt just died... -Janice T Wah, wah, wah! You whine too much, bitch. -Some kid Tie my shoes. -Michelle Fraser I can't even tie mine. -Ben Birk You don't have socks! -Michelle Fraser Okay…? -Ben Birk I'm not counting Indians, because they're not people! -Mitch Armstrong You're covered in dumbness. -Brandon Haney There was a picture of the blind girl and I was like, "I bet she'll love to see that!" -Mitch Armstrong We were gonna go to Spring Hill, but my aunt just had to go and get breast cancer, -Denee' Millering Remember when I was laying in bed naked? -Sam Hamilton oooo, it vibrates, -Kate Shelton Suck my cock! Should I say cock or penis? -James Golden I don't want to go there, there's too many mexicans peeing in the water. -TJ It's like a vacuum on my face. -Kate Shelton Dar, dur, dur, dur... - Stacy And I'm the retard? All you need to do is start droolin' and you've got it down. - Kate Shelton I can put my hand in my hole! -Neilee Metzger Why can't we all love eachother and do drugs? -Kevin Cuppett Lets put pigeons in our pants, because if we say there's pigeons in our pants they won't believe us! -Neilee Metzger Did that say loose sluts? -Ron I don't want to touch her with my fingers. -Neilee Metzger Why? They have been in her vagina. -Bradley Blair Hahahaha! -Stacy You're not even denying it! -Kelly Metzger I'm fingering you. -Neille Metzger I'm not tearing my vagina. -Michelle Fraser Quit dyking! -Mitch Armstrong Real men kiss their sisters. -James Golden Stop trying to stick things in her ass! -Bradley Blair Come on, you penis! -Brenton W There's umm… a nose on the floor. -Erika Childs Even the exciting parts were boring. -Mitch Armstrong Why do guys like lesbians? -Amanda something Visual pleasure! -Brenton W I threw that away five times! Seven times man! -Andy M We're not gay, we're just lesbians. -Erika Childs I don't want to touch your hand. -Stacy You did last night, actually you touched more than that. -Becky Visser I'm gonna die tomorrow, my horoscope says so -My mom Yes, mother all of the Geminis are dying tomorrow. Every single one. -Stacy Is that wet or is that his nose? -Kate Shelton Who has a parrot in their mouth? -Kevin Cuppett That's funny like a sheep. -Lisa Leonard I want to put my sock on your antenna, like a condom. -James Golden Don't swear in front of the cat, it's too young! -Lisa Leonard Super fish! Like fish that fly with super powers! -Kevin Cuppett No one pees straight. Mine kinda curves to the left. -James Golden I don't care if I can't breathe. -Michelle Fraser Mom, everyone that loves you is dead. -Lisa Leonard Haha.. it says, 'Good In Bed' -Lisa Leonard And the authors name is 'Jennifer Weiner'! -Stacy Cain Hahah.. weiner -Lisa Leonard Weiner. It kinda rolls off the tongue. -Stacy Cain Hide the money, the mexicans will take it. -My mother The Money? What about the McDonalds food? -Lisa Leonard You're smart, you idiot! -Michelle The announcements said, "Amanda Marcom, please see Mr.A." and I was like, “Good luck!” –Mitch Mitch! -Stacy I want to be an Astronaut, FBI Agent, Fireman! -Mitch We have the same belt. -Stacy Oh my God it’s like we're…sisters! -Dustin P I hate you! -Stacy You didn’t in bed last night!-Erika "Jesus loves me." -Stacy All night long! -Lisa Dude, you just made a joke about Jesus! -Stacy I fucked your mom, then I fucked mine. -Becky Them gay guys are somewhat weird. They just give off a gay vibe. -Joey There's too many…uh…what are they callled?! -Stacy Distractions? -Lisa Yeah! I was distracted. -Stacy We should do something sometime, because I need someone. -Lisa Oh my God! You just hit on me! -Stacy Did you just put Karl’s cough drop in your pants? –Lisa Maaaybe. -Stacy The thought of the thoughts that are in your head scare me. Did you know that? –Lisa Yes! -Stacy I laugh at him, because he has a cooler car, but see, I have a garage and he doesn’t. -Lisa If it seems like you are lost…keep going. -Worker at Sears I feel like I’m lost… -Stacy Keep going! -Lisa Weeeee! -Stacy ...ner. -Lisa My dad said that something smelled like goat crotch. -Mishy She was black and nice to me and I’m white! -Stacy I’m not a stalker. More of an obsessed fan. -Tony Weir Dude, there’s a fork in your toilet. -Stacy Does that lady have a mullet? -Dustin Oh my God, she does! -Stacy Mitch...go to hell...quickly...sprint! -Stacy What do you mean slow? -Grandma Umm....not fast. -Mishy Lacking speed... -Lisa I’m bored. - Stacy Me too. WANNA GO BEAT UP TRASH CANS?! -Denee' A. Avril Lavigne is dumb B. She’s from Canada -Kevin C Kevin, A and B are the same reason. -Mitch Hahaha, C. She doesn’t write her own music. Four… -Kevin C Four? You were just at C then you go to four? -Stacy I came home this morning and my mom had filled the candy dish with M&M’s and there were only black and white and I’m all thinking, ‘Where’s the beaner’s?’ Damn racists. -Lisa Do you think the class rooms in Japan are the same as they are here? -Mrs.Babbit I’m pretty sure there aren’t any fridges or stoves in them. -Stacy Where do you think I would like to make some of you go? -Mrs.Babbit Hell. -Mitch Stop being Mexican! -Lisa I had a dream that I made you guys dinner and I served you mashed potatos, corn, and this meatloaf made out of this girl I cut up with blood gravy. -Mishy Ewe! I hate corn! -Stacy You hate corn? What about the girl meatloaf? -James Dude, why aren’t you steering the car, we’re gonna hit the curb! -Lisa You're the one driving you crazy bastard! -Stacy That doesn’t mean anything! -Lisa This is a dictatorship and I am the dick...tator. -Mr.Andrus Don’t sit at this desk. See, the sign says, ‘Don’t. Sit. Here." -Mr.Andrus Can you be quiet? I’m trying to get an education. I want to go somewheres in life! -Joanna Somewheres? -Mitch Did you even see that trash can? -Stacy Not until after I hit it! -Lisa I’m gonna murder your toilet. -Phil I am anti-dumb people. -Mitch Watch your fucking mouth, Stacy! -Dusty P Dude, I’m sorry. I even called someone a tree today. -Stacy Yeah, you called them a fucking tree! -Lisa That’s not the point! I could have called them a fucking bastard! -Stacy Hey guys! Wanna go play in the trash? -Kate Shut up biatch! Yeah, that’s ghetto for bitch! -James I hope my fly isn’t un-zipped, because I’m not wearing underwear. -Brad Farts will always be funny. -Ben Birk Is cheese supposed to be warm and squishy? Because it doesn’t taste so good. -Stacy I want triscuits. -Lisa Fuck triscuits! -Dustin C God created farting, so if you don’t laugh at a fart it’s like dissing God. -Ben Birk I’m giving cheese to the homeless. -Dustin Shut the fucking window! -Lisa You sound like my grandma. -Dustin He would be hot if he wasn’t Asian. –Mishy and Stacy (at the same time) Let’s do commentary for the midget, since we cant hear her. -Stacy Ok! -Mishy Mr.Reybrun is now telling her that she’s short. At first she’s confused, she tries to understand, then realizes all this time she thought that everyone was standing, they were really sitting down! -Stacy I love cookies! -Stacy I wish I was a cookie. -Tony Hi, you're hot. Can I fuck you? -Stacy All hot guys, take off your clothes and start fucking eachother now! -Mishy If you masturbate it stunts your growth. -Mitch So that’s why I’m so short. How the hell are you so tall? -Stacy I think that you should only be allowed to be a lesbian if you're hot, because ugly lesbians...well, no one wants to see that. -Stacy I wish I had poison. -Mitch So you could kill people like me? -Tony Not people like you. Just you. -Mitch I’m gonna put deodrant on my balls. -Jay I didn’t clean up after I fucked your daddy! -Brad That’s not Lisa’s mom on the answering machine. -Mishy Yeah, you're right. Satan doesn’t use telephones. -Stacy I’m not racist! I just hate Niggers and Beaners! -Dad Why did you just honk at black people? -Stacy The light wasn’t supposed to turn red! -Mitch Lock the doors! -Stacy I hope you have aids! -Jay We don’t have money, because our school spends it on telescopes and pig feet. -Mr.Andrus My car is 10 years old, so I can say its a classic. -Mr.Andrus My teeth are fucked up. They look like rabbit teeth! Look at em! -Stacy Old people have the ugliest ears. -Lisa She wants everyones cock, even mine! -Stacy My dad has a big penis, because I came out of it. -Brad I have never sat in a giant carrot chair before. -Kate I like to open my mouth wide for a lot of meat. -James Keep it on the down low, don’t let grandma know. -Kate I started choking on my orange. -Dustin Okay…finish choking. -James We are such bastards. -Kate Is there anyone I wouldn’t make out with? -Lisa These two gay guys were hitting on me. -James You smell like crayon. -Kate You can burrow into my vagina. -Emily R I’m gonna lay a lincoln log on your chest. -James James and Brad say way too many fucked up things, so it’s hard for me to quote them. -Stacy Man, I gonna cut you so bad, man, that you, you gonna wish I didn't cut you so bad, man. -James I should get implants. -Brad If you aint white, you aint right! -Brad I was a little spermy. -Brad Penis face! -Denee' It’s because I’m black isn’t it Mr.Cooper? -Denee' There’s a hole in my butt, does that mean it’s broken? -James How do 'its' have sex? -James I have no clue how many times I have seen Brad’s ass, but I know it’s a lot! -Stacy My mom said she'd be in bed, so I wanted to ask her if she'd be naked. -Lisa Puberty...that word is weird, kinda like vagina and penis. -Denee' I just farted. -Denee' Does it smell? -Stacy Like chicken crap! -Denee' I think you and Kate should be lesbians more. -Mom You'd look hot bald. -Lisa They sprayed my hair with water that smelled like feet or ass. -Stacy Put your chips in your crotch. -Stacy If I had a penis, I’d name him after you and cuddle with him every night! -Raych You are such a klepto! -Lisa I cant’ take it from him, he’s Mexican. -Stacy You're hot for a five year old boy. –Mitch You bitchole! -James Golden You're such a gay Eskimo! -James Golden I just subscribed you to some intelligence, you should confirm it when you get it. -Joe Castine Go play in the snow. -Brent No, it’s cold and stuff. -Stacy Warm it up! -Brent No! –Stacy Pussy. -Brent You are my beasty bunnie sex lover. -Raychie The ugliest penguin would be sexier than the sexiset bunnie. -Mitch Ru! The goats are gonna get us, hurry! -Neilee I want to fuck a pig. –Bradley What? -Stacy I want to fuck a pig. -Bradley What? -Stacy I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH A PIG! -Bradley Nice shirt. -TJ Fuck you, you fucking bastard! Go to hell! -Stacy …And that’s when she’s in a good mood. -TJ Are you going to prom? -Lisa Porn what? -Stacy Huh? -Lisa I thought you said porn. -Stacy Get your hopes up did ya? -Lisa Whatd’ ya do to get the answer? -Heather Your mom! -Stacy The teachers in this school are stupid. -Mr.Andrus This is a spoon...not a crack spoon. -Mr.Reyburn I don’t care if you’re getting high in the bathroom. -Mr. Andrus That table is so gay !-Stacy Is the table really homosexual? -Michelle You can borrow my whip if you'd like. -Lisa Shit on my face! -Bradely Can we hide from it? (it meaning the tornado) –Jessica McDonald Ow. This mask paper cut my face! –James G He’s hot in a "I’m gonna bomb the school kinda way." -Mishy Well, my grandma says neat a lot and usually it’s a bad thing. -Lisa Can I rape you? -Jenni R Don’t make me bite you! -Denee' Oh my God your head fell off! -Michelle Oh my Satan! -Michelle He keeps tripping over the trash can and looking at the sky wondering why he’s running into shit. Hes all like, “Whhhyyyyyy?!” -Stacy I could be like, "Hey, look a chair!" and you’d be like, "Yeah a chair in my pants!" -Stacy I'll stop being a bitch as soon as you stop walking so gay. -Stacy Get off my sister! -Dustin (my brother) I have boobies! -Bradley Mad sex time! -Kelly We should just start making out during the movie. -Kelly Is it ok to call you baby? What about pumpkin? -Mitch Sleepers can’t be talkers. -Bradley Japanda! -Mitch I am the smartest man in the world! -Phil M Fuck France! -Ben Let’s play the color game! -Stacy I’m color blind. -Ben I know! That’s why it’s so fun! What color is that? -Stacy ...green. -Ben Hahahahaha, it’s orange! -Stacy What color is that? -me ...I hate you. -Ben Come on, guess! -Stacy ....orange. -Ben Its’ green! Ahahahaha! -Stacy Go to hell. -Ben Do you remember? Member? Member, member, member, member? Do you remember? -Stacy My mom’s a commie. -Kate I want to have sex with you in the back of a truck on a dirty mattress. -Becky I have a slogan for the lunchroom, "It’s almost food!" -Stacy These hallways are like a mosh pit full of dumb people, with a bad taste in music. -Stacy If you wake up dead, I killed you! -Stacy Let’s have a party with booze and alcohol! Wait, that’s the same thing. -James I’m gonna kick you in the throat. -Jay I had to make Kool Aid. I feel black and poor. -Bradley Make me whiny pants! -James You're a skanky rubberband! -James Even if you die, I'll come to your grave and hit on you. -Mitch Stacy, the strings don’t move. Yes, the frets also stay in the same spot. You tard. -Michelle I'll shit on your chest! -Jay Ruster I am the Lincoln log master! -Bradley Blair What kind of cat is it? -Liz Artecki Dead. -Jay Ruster I can hear you refusing to put pants on to your mom. -Lisa Leonard I swallowed my poo. -Kate Shelton Little poos in your mouth, what's not to love? -Liz Thornington I'm all like, "Awwe." Then I see their face and I'm like, "Dear God!" -Stacy I don't even know if dinosaurs exist! -Lisa Leonard Think above your belt buckle! -Mr.Hazel I love rubbing shit on my face. -Sydney I shit and piss at the same time. -Jay Ruster What's going down? -Ben Birk Your mom! -Stacy You have to call her in! (Her as in the dog) -Mom Come on, dumbshit! -Dad I abuse drugs! If Tylenol starts giving me shit I pour it down the drain! -Jay Ruster I am gonna fuck you in the ass with my black mumba! -Jay Ruster How hard is your dick, Brad? -Jay Ruster You're putting on a licked shoe. -Lisa Leonard If that whole hand theory is true about penises I think my penis would be all right. -Stacy Do you think you're going to have sex with James? -Stacy Probably... -Jordan Porter -pause- Did you all ready have sex with James? -Stacy Yes. -Jordan It smells like sex in here! -Nate How do you know what sex smells like? Are you fixing to fornicate? -Bradley Blair I don't like guy porn. -Stacy Oh, I forgot you don't like penises. -Bradley Blair Hey, could you take me home? Oh, and a blowjob would be nice too. -Ron There ya go. Just be casual, throw it in there. Be like, "Road head is fine too."-Stacy That doesn't really work when she's the one driving. -Ron Wheaton I used to look at porn all the time. Back when I found out the internet held infinite amounts of it I was like, 'I'm gonna see all of it!' -Ron Wheaton Let's have a barbecue and invite everyone! -Will I'm going. -Mark You're not going! -Will I've tried to be nice, I can't. -My Dad Vaginas have always confused me. -Stacy You didn't expect that did you? Huh, huh?! -Stacy Ok, no Stacy I didn't expect to get jabbed in the eye with Chewbacca, ok? –Matt "Hot frothy sperm coating your throat." - Jay Ruster "My wrists require slitting." - Matt Whetzel 1/24 "Italians can't be queer." - Mitch Armstrong "I know I would never burn someone's shed down or chase anyone with a drill." - Ron Wheaton 1/28 "I can drive. Look, I'm driving." - Emily Rowe "Look at that crazy man with writing all over his pants. Jesus versus a dinosaur; what the fuck?" - Emily Rowe 2/3 "Close your eyes and open your mouth, young one. I want to feed you yummies." - Liz Thorington "I love driving through poop steam. It's my favorite thing to do." - Matt Whetzel "Take the condom out of my mouth!" - Stacy Cain "I'm a fan of eating butter. Big sticks of butter." - Matt Whetzel 11/7 "The word 'penetrate' makes me giggle." - Justine Gunneson "I'm so slow, it takes me 2 hours to watch 60 minutes." - Jake Mellema 11/9 "They have a clown college, I'm sure they have a mermaid underwater safety college." - Emily Rowe 11/16 "Hot european sex.. in Canada!" - Liz Arteki 11/19 "I wish you were God." - Ron Wheaton 11/20 "I'm worth like 8 sheep at least." - Ron Wheaton 11/29 "I pooped like 3 times today and I was like, 'it that normal?'" - Courtney Weir 12/3 "I spank people constantly. It's like my way of saying hello." - Becky Visser 12/13 "I'm not a weiner sucker!" - Stacy Cain 12/20 "My CD player broke, I know what I'm asking for for Christmas: porno." - Jake Mellema 12/23 "That stuff was gay, my ass hurt." - Jay Ruster "You just made me think of donkey balls." - Jay "The kinda loose donkey butthole you can stick a golf ball in." - Jay "The simple things in life, like floppy balls." - Jay 12/27 "I don't want to wake up with someone drooling on my boobs." - Brittany Toft 1/5 "I spray myself in oatmeal." - Ben Birk "A girl can get high, it doesn't mean she's a lesbian." - Courtney Lallo 1/7 "I was just talking about eating rocks. I guess it got me excited." - Neilee Metzger 1/11 "My lips were just stuck in the vagina." - Liz Thorington 9/8 "You're so artificially gay." - Chris Knoll 9/21 "If I had a pile of coke, I'd fuck it. My dick would be so numb." - James Golden "If you say one more thing about my poop, I'm gonna pray you get it and poop all over yourself." - Lorrie Shelton 9/29 "Is there a rule against doing cartwheels in the hallway? I didn't see that in the fricken agenda." - Mishy Fraser "I feel so comfortable and free like a tampon commercial." - Josh Aungst "I don't want to go to school. I have no legs. Kate has no legs." - Stacy Cain "She has enormous sweater puppets." - Jake Mellema "Genital cats." - Jake Mellema "Hey Tom, can I poop in your mouth?" - Jay Ruster 10/5 Cremation is the best way to confirm that you won't come back as the undead." - Ben Rector 10/6 "Ya ever heard chipmunks having sex?" - Steven Tefft 10/8 "Wanna eat my babies?" - Stephanie Lewis "Can we stop talking about masturbation for just one minute?" - Mitch Armstrong 10/12 "Why are your hands so red?" - ? "She just killed someone, retard." - Marty Bonomini 10/13 "At what point do you say, 'holy crap, I have to eat a pencil'?" - Tom Maynard "When a beaver has a gun held to your head." - Sarah Cohen "Portuguese people in Italy speaking french with spanish subtitles. It's a romantic language spectacular!" - Sarah Cohen 10/27 "Christmas chicken nuggets and penis." - Steve Tefft “Do you like nigger music?” – Stephanie’s Grandpa 6/5 “Is this the group-grope?” – Tom’s mom “You’re a fun-sucking sponge.” – Eric Verhaar “What’s fat people music?” – Phil Maas “Do you want me to hit you with my ritual stick?” – Kevin Cuppett “I feel like I should tap-dance.” – Tom Maynard “Have you ever taken a poop that felt longer than it was? It kind’ve disappoints you.” – James Golden 6/6 “I think I have an unclean soul.” – Michelle Foster 6/9 “Come here Dustin and do something dirty to Brandi.” – Erika Childs “I had sex with your brother last night.” – Erika Childs “See, I’m not gay.” – Dustin Cain “Then why were you shouting ‘Johnny?’” – Erika “I feel like a fish stick. Do you feel like a fish stick?” – Stacy Cain “Remember back in the day when I used to play with girls?” – Stacy Cain 6/10 “How does everything end up on your penis?” – Stacy Cain 6/15 “It was a good story until I told it.” – Kamal “His face is somewhat symmetrical.” – Kamal “It is disgusting, but it’s hot.” – Kate "I'm making a little sweater for my fingers. Look at that! Like a little man. 'Hi, Kate, I love you!' That was my finger." -Kamal 6/16 “You’re not a blob, godammit.” – James Golden 6/17 “Justin, you just got run over by a Jap.” – Jay Ruster 6/22 “You’re like a worm with no arms.” – Stacy Cain 6/24 “Please don’t tell my mom I said ‘sex,’ she will wash my mouth out with soap and bible.” – Ben Birk “I’m gonna go stare at myself naked in the mirror.” – Ben Birk 6/27 “I saw your house and it’s really nice. By how you look, I thought you’d live in a shack.” – Kelly Metzger “Flying phonebooks on the loose!” – Stacy Cain “Like that one guy... the Mormons.” – Ron Wheaton 7/10 “Look, a cemetery.” – Kate “Let’s go play! Wait no, I have to pee.” – Lisa Leonard “Without selfishness, there wouldn’t be love.” – Lisa 7/20 “I little kid a flipped off.” – Dustin Cain “I don’t think they make men shoes small because only midgets would wear them and they don’t wear shoes because midgets are barely people.” – Stacy Cain 7/22 “Joe gets a lot of things from you.” – Kate “Like herpes.” – Stacy Cain “It feels weird when you stick cylinder things in my pants.” – Stacy Cain “Hey Matt, it’s two minutes past now.” – Stacy “Transvestite bacon.” – Stacy 7/23 “I’ll shove this down your ass.” – Stacy “It feels like my shirt is on fire.” – Kate 7/24 “Fuck you, Dustin.” – Stacy Cain “You wish.” – Dustin Cain “Ewww…” – Joe, Stacy, Kate “Hey Lisa, you suck.’ – Stacy Cain “I suck your mom!” – Lisa Leonard 7/30 “My ass is bleeding.” – Matt Whetzel “Come here so we can fuck the hell out of you.” – Matt Whetzel 7/31 “That just made everything worse.” – Matt Whetzel “Like what, rectal cancer?” – Joe Castine “Get your hand out of his butt.” – Joe Castine “If you were wearing shoes, you’d be a perfect small Asian boy.” – Matt Whetzel “What are you being shielded from?” – Lisa Leonard “Penises.” – Matt Whetzel 8/4 “Can I have an ice water with no water, just soda?” – Stacy Cain “Hey look, it’s Gary Potter! Harry Potter’s less magical brother.” – Matt Whetzel “I don’t eat food. I am outside of food. I am better than food.” – Matt Whetzel “You don’t have to be poor, to be a whore.” – Stacy Cain “I think it looks like an egg.” – Kate “I think fuck the shut up.” – Dustin Cain 8/5 “Yay for butt-fuckin.” – Kevin Cuppett “Wouldn’t that be nice? Piss some girl off and she shows you her boobies.” – Brad Blair “You’re full of shit.” – Kevin Cuppett “You’re right, I didn’t crap yet today.” – Robbie Carlstrom 8/9 “I hear thunder. It reminds me of Garth Brooks.” – Brad Blair 8/13 “I hate leopard print. Fat women wear leopard print.” – Lorrie Shelton “Her tears are gonna come out her nose.” – Jenny Reed “Wouldn’t it be funny if she wore mold on her feet?” – Stacy Cain “The toaster is moving. No one believes me.” – Stacy Cain “She gets really irrigant.” – Jenny Reed “Once I had Ramen Nooders ...” – Jenny Reed “Your mom tastes like fruit punch.” – Brad Blair “I wish my mom tasted like fruit punch.” – Lisa Leonard 8/19 “Turn it down, I can’t hear myself die.” – Kelly Metzger “Matt, seriously, I need a buttlick.” – Brad Blair “Kate, your skin cells are nummy looking.” – Matt Whetzel 8/23 “I’m not humping a wet dinosaur.” – Stacy Cain 8/24 “It’s a national day, there’s a douche in my shower and it’s not Dustin.” – Stacy Cain 8/25 “[She’s] a piece of shit wrapped in skin.” – Matt Whetzel “They can rape me for all I care. They can rape me in the ass and make me bleed.” – Matt Whetzel “Oh my god, I broke my skirt.” – Matt Whetzel “It’s like they gave me a fucking bag of floppy cocks.” – Stacy Cain “Every time I’m thinking about floppy cocks, I’m gonna tell you.” – Stacy Cain 8/28 “Neilee’s made of acid, I don’t want her cooties.” – Matt Whetzel “Watch out for the gaping butthole.” – Kevin Cuppett 9/1 "If you're gonna be my friend, you're gonna have to accept that I have a blanket growing out of my face." - Stacy Cain 3/24 “You’re kinda lucky I wore pants today.” – Mitch Armstrong “People are too happy these days.” – Stacy Cain “Your butt smells nice, Neilee.” – Courtney Rae 3/25 “I bought a video game you had in your crotch.” – Phil Maas “You’ve gotta draw the line between creepy and romantic.” – Stephanie Lewis 3/26 “I’d kill myself before I let you kill me.” – Gus Dahl 3/27 “Get your racial slangs right, ya dirty Jew.” – Mitch Armstrong “I’ll straddle your face.” – Mitch “I get your cooter, Matt gets your mouth, so if I make you scream, you’ll bite his off.” – James Golden 3/29 “I think we should have ‘Bring a Knife to School Day’ and ‘Fake a Race Day.’” – Stacy Cain “Whoever’s throwing jellybeans needs to stop. It’s very immature.” – Kim Carter “I think it’d be more immature if we were throwing babies.” – Emily Rowe “It pains me to listen to her talk.” – Kate “Wrinkled Old Testicle…” – Brad Blair “What are you doing?” – Kate “ROTC!” – Brad “Wrinkled doesn’t start with an R.” – Jay Ruster “..oh yeah.” – Brad 3/30 “You don’t have child-bearing hips.” – Courtney Rae “What’s that?” – Brittany Mathews “Hips.. for bearing children..” – Emily Rowe “Be a patriot, kill a priest.” – Kate “Homolicker.” – Kaylen Merlington “Every time I draw two circles next to eachother, you guys automatically think testicles.” – Fournier 3/31 “Damn those pissin’ pink bunnies on the fuckin’ ceiling.” – Kate “Procrastination and masturbation are both fun, until you realize you’re only fucking yourself.” – Stephanie Lewis “Seriously, he goes from his normal red, to dark red, to dark dark purple. If I was him, I’d paint my room red, and.. hide in it.” – Tyler Metzger 4/4 “I like to open my mouth for a lotta meat.” – James Golden 4/12 “What would everyone say if I had a restaurant called The Big Dick? They’d say, ‘The bratwurst there is great’ and ‘I go there for the sausage!’ We’d serve pickles and sausage with bananas on the side. And guys in speedos will serve.” – Mrs. Olsen 4/15 “It’d be really cool if I were a chair.” – Tim Rafferty “If I was a chair, I’d be a toilet.” – Emily Rowe 4/18 “I should die. I really want to.” – Becky Visser 4/20 “Hopefully you guys get this, otherwise my life is useless.” – Mrs. Olsen 4/21 “Josh doesn’t feel it.” – Kaylen Merlington “Yeah, because you’ve always got your hand up his butt.” – Neilee Metzger 4/22 “I’ve got a tub of organs on me so I can’t move.” – Kaylen Merlington “Saying ‘ow, my spleen!’ is so much cooler than saying ‘ow, my small intestine.’” – Bill Korb “Hey we found the first penis of the day!” – Fournier “Life is too short to be nice.” – Jay Ruster “I hope she bursts into flames.” – Dustin Cain “There are 3 Kims. 2 are blonde barbies, and I’m the dark-haired cow. Of course I was the smartest, but where’d that get me? With you.” – Mrs. (Kim) Olsen 4/23 “We instigated a retard fight last hour.” – Jay Ruster “Hellfuckinshitassyeah.” – Brad Blair “I would literally shit my pants if one retard jacked another in the face.” – Jay Ruster “King Kong aint got shit on Godzilla.” – Jay Ruster “Look, it’s a gathering of fat bitches.” – James Remiro “Sperm lip gloss.” – Brad Blair “Go do something you’re good at, like killing Jews.” – Kevin Cuppett “You know how much spit I’ve wasted talking to you? *pretends to spit *That much.” – Brittany Toft 4/26 “You gotta be there for your friends, even when they start barfin’, you gotta be there for ‘em.” – Jeff Warner “Folks, I’m about to lay down the smack.” – Fournier “I’m stressed to the max; I have a German in my house.” – Josh Farrel “I think Jessica just licked Marissa’s nipple.” – Emily Rowe “You should quote me saying nipple.” – Emily Rowe “Nipple.” – Emily Rowe “If you guys are gonna talk, I’m gonna rip out your tongues.” – Mrs. Olsen “Is that a threat?” – Zach Ebenstein “It’s a promise.” – Mrs. Olsen “I play, ‘What’s In My Mouth’ in math.” – Stacy Cain “I told him he got hit by the ugly stick twice.” – Stacy Cain 4/27 “Gee wiz, meat.” – Tim Rafferty “Look at that old man, do you think he gets any?” – Kaylen Merlington “She doesn’t like me anymore because I don’t believe that she has a demon vampire imaginary friend.” – Tim Rafferty “I’m gonna write erotic porn when I get older.” – Kate “Stop screwin’ Kate!” – Jacqui DeFouw “Ahhhhhh! It got in my cut! Your deodorant got in my cut!” – Stacy Cain “Suck on it!” – Matt Whetzel “It tastes like… Ewe!” – Stacy “Do you want some sandwich with your condiments?” – Stephanie Lewis 4/29 “It’s like a sex sandwich.” – Will Tobashka “Who’re you going out with?” – Amanda Bigney “Yeah, what’s his name Zach?” – Tim Rafferty “Dick.” – Zach Ebenstein “They should kill all the fat ugly people, except me.” – Tim Rafferty “You’re not fat.” – Kate “You should put lipstick on with your boobs.” – Ron Wheaton 4/30 “I have half a cat in Mr. McDonald’s room. I can go get it.” – Emily Rowe 5/3 “I thought you said, ‘I’ve got too much cum in my dick.’” – Brad Blair “I thought you said something about a holy dick.” – Stephanie Lewis “I betcha Hazel’s an anal guy.” – Jay Ruster “You should totally stab her in the face with a soldering iron.” – Jay Ruster “Suck my balls, smoke my pole, lick my dirty butt hole.” – Brad Blair “If I find a bug, can I keep it?” – Logan “You’re constipating.” – Stacy Cain “You little dyke-bombin’ son of a bitch.” – Matt Whetzel “Stacy, if I wanted any comeback from you, I’d wipe it off your cheek.” – Matt Whetzel “Can you imagine a giant douche bag just running around?” – Stacy Cain “You son of a bitch, you’re never touching my tampon again.” – Matt Whetzel 5/4 “I can’t wait for the Vietnam War.” – Gus Dahl “Stop trying to unbutton my pants.” – Kate “Well, ya see, when you leave a bicycle pump out in the rain, overnight, well.. you know.” – Tom Maynard 5/5 “You get outta bed, you get on the pot. Yep, that’s how it was back in our day. You got on that cold pot whether you hadta go or not.” – Neilee’s G-Ma “I’m dumbass-intolerant.” – Kate “I remember tasting you, and you were very bland.” – Mitch Armstrong “I love things in my shirt.” – Kaylen Merlington “I love the things in your shirt too.” – Tim Rafferty “If you watch TV a lot, you get big boobs.” – Mrs. Olsen 5/7 “Not everyone wants to have sex with Becky, even though she begs.” – Erika Childs “Come to us, Cancer Lump.” – Matt Whetzel “I’m excited because I’m fat and I like doughnuts.” – Emily Rowe “He’s a man-whore with a small penis.” – Courtney Rae “I gotta tinkle like a homo in labor.” – Stephanie Lewis “Does the gortex really help against the burritos?” – Mitch Armstrong 5/10 “I talked to a squirrel! I swear to my gosh!” – Erika Childs “We don’t want to hear about your big poop.” – Mitch Armstrong “But it was huge! Like a loaf of garlic bread and 3 pretzels worth.” – Kevin Cuppett “Yeah, I do that all the time, I make peoples’ nipples dance.” – Neilee Metzger I had a dream about your mom’s hot naked body last night.” – Stephanie Lewis “I squeezed his butt and it started flowing through my hands.” – Stephanie “That’d be full of ball-licking goodness.” – Jay Ruster “I look like a cow. I look like the centerpiece that everyone sits around at dinner.” – Michelle Hawley “What, did I impregnate a woman?” – Erika Childs “She called me a hefty dodo.” – Becky Visser “We talked about the special place between ladies’ legs.” – Mrs. Olsen “She’s got this new fantasy where she comes out wearing my clothes.” – Mrs. Olsen 5/13 “Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.” – Brandon Haney “My dog gives me a boner.” – Jay Ruster “One day she walked into me and she’s like, ‘hello, I’m walking here,’ and I’m like, ‘hello, you’re fat.’” – Tyler Metzger 5/14 “Hey, let’s see who can imitate a tire!” – Kate “Save a tree, eat a beaver.” – Brandon Haney “Will you pull my pants down?” – Kate “Hey look, you’re spinning negro humor all over.” – James Golden “This sounds like worms smashing up against smushy stuff.” – Stacy Cain “Hey everybody! I got hit in the face!” – Stacy Cain “I’d go up to someone and be like ‘I play the piccolo’ and they’d be like ‘you should’ve picked the cello’ then I’d be like ‘I didn’t pick the piccolo’ and pull out a cello.” – Stacy Cain “I hope both of you die.” – Dustin Cain “I had a dream today about ponies playing flutes.” – Stacy Cain “He’s not the pokemon master, he’s the pokemon God.” – Dustin Cain “Do I need to give you The Talk?” – Kate “Yes, then we can watch it on video.” – Stacy Cain “The carpet smells like peaches. Moldy ones.” – Stacy Cain “Let’s all be dramatic because we’re just so good at it.” – Stacy Cain “When we get older, we’ll get an apartment together.” – Kate “And we can make gingerbread men.” – Stacy 5/16 “Hey Kate?” – Stacy “What?” – Kate “You’re fugly.” – Stacy 5/17 “Hey yo, honky honk.” – Courtney Rae “Why does she make us eat this stuff?” – Ashley “Because it’s poison and she likes to do us in our sleep.” – Neilee Metzger “I wanna have sex with this room it smells so good.” – Courtney Rae “I feel like I’m eating fetal pigs.” – Alyssa Cole “Why do you wear your blingbling?” – Fournier “To attract boys.” – David Cook “Nasty girls don’t have boyfriends.” – Fournier “He’s always yelling at me for humping Tony.” – Brad Blair “I think it’s my God-given right to hump other men.” – Jay Ruster 5/18 “I wish I had a plunger to play with.” – Kate “I’m not a pansyass little fucktart.” – Tom Maynard “I’m gonna stick this down my dog’s throat and wrap his intestines around the spoon. People’ll be like, ‘woo, look, intestines on a spoon!’” – Stacy Cain “I enjoy talking to myself, I’m the only who listens.” – Emily Shneider 5/20 “You were choking her with your nipple.” – James Golden “I try to be as homosexual as possible when I give these quizzes.” – Fournier “So yesterday I told my mom I wanted a PHD in Mexican Porn School. She told me to shut up.” – Stephanie Lewis “I wish hairy balls were here. I could go for a nut lickin’ right now.” – Jay Ruster “I love to squirm while I’m makin’ bacon.” – Kate “What color are your nipples?” – Emily Rowe “He’s a pinky.” – Brad Blair 5/21 “The ugliest wins.” – Mrs. Crowley “I wanna play.” – Emily Rowe “We’re all dying dogs on the inside.” – Kate “What if my pants just disintegrated?” – Neilee Metzger “He’s an assbutt.” – Brad Blair “Is that the same thing as a penisdick?” – Mishy “Whatcha thinkin’ about?” – Kate “Your mom.” – Stacy Cain 5/24 “So Penny and I were playing Snugglebugs last night and she fuckin’ threw up all over my floor.” –Jay Ruster “My hands are stickier than an erect horse penis.” – Jay Ruster “See, I told you I was a faggot.” – Stacy Cain “I’m so fascinated with my mouth. I love putting things in it.” – Stacy “It’s been in my mouth, but what hasn’t?” – Phil-Himself 5/25 “I flap my back skin on his face.” – Stephanie Lewis “Don’t you hate when you forget what you’re wearing?” – Brandon Haney “How come I’m last?” – Brandon Haney “You’re first in backwards land.” – Alyssa Cole “Holy shit, you’ve got projectile semen.” – Stephanie Lewis “You think Kate’s mom is hot. We were on the phone and you told me all the nasty little secrets of what you want to do to every crevice of her hot, oily body.” – Stephanie Lewis “Does your grandma wear diapers?” – Kate “No, but I wish she would. She pees all over the place like a dog.” – Neilee Metzger 5/26 “What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm? *pause * ..How do we find the egg in all this crap?” – Neilee Metzger 5/27 “It was orgasm good.” – Stephanie Lewis “I don’t know if it’s a good thing, or if it’s a bad thing, but it’s a thing.” – Reyburn “I never read the newspaper.” – Neilee Metzger “It’s too small of print.” – Ronnie-Jonnie Wheaton “We can steal my grandma’s wheelchair and go ridin’.” – Neilee Metzger “I like to shock people, but they never get shocked. I think they all think I’m a horrible person.” – Lorrie Shelton (Kate’s mom) “Whatcha lookin’ at?” – Kate “The penguin outside. He says he doesn’t like you.” – Stacy Cain “I’m cracking out, I’m cracking out, I’m cracking out, I’m cracking out, I’m cracking out, I’m cracking out.. etc” – Stacy Cain "It's a big scary monster wrapped in plastic waiting to attack you with its wicked white cream." - Stacy Cain 5/29 “I think guys should have to squirt shit out of their penises for a week.” – Mishy “I’m not tearing open my vagina, I’ll adopt.” – Mishy “What did you think was gonna happen; your spine was gonna jump out and say, ‘Hi, I’m a spine!’” – Stacy Cain 6/1 “Don’t call me hot with my pants off.” – Erika Childs “Shut up, Stupid. I hate you, why don’t you understand that? I don’t like you!” – Erika Childs “My mom found these old Halloween horns and put them on her head and she was like ‘Hey Ronnie, I’m horny.’” – Ron Wheaton “It’d be funny if people had windows on their body.” – Rohnny-Johnny Wheaton “He’s got himself convinced that his penis is huge because he’s always looking at it through a magnifying glass.” – Matt Whetzel 6/3 "You're a Gangsta-Jew." - Jake Stanton "It doesn't say my name on that penis." - Stephanie Lewis "Crystal SkankBurger's got a camera." - Stephanie Lewis "I'll put my pants on later." - Stacy Cain 1/18 "I couldn't rape my way out of a wet paper bag." - Jay Ruster 1/19 "He can suck my dick." - Courtney Rae 1/20 "Uranus's bleeding testicle." - Mrs. Olsen 1/21 "We can play in your room." - CJ Fisk "On your knees! Now!" - CJ Fisk "I was screwin' myself and I didn't even know it." - Adam Draves "He threatened to rape me!" - Jacqui DeFouw "And then I fondle your balls." - Kate "Whoa, I missed the whole first part of this conversation." - Emily Rowe 1/23 "Except when your friends get drunk and make out in your shower; that's kinda awkward." - Emily Rowe "I say some stupid shit sometimes. You should write that down." - Emily Rowe "Do you like to eat Italian crucifixes?" - Mrs. Crowley "I love Italian crucifixes!" - Emily Rowe "Look, Neilee kinda rhymes with candy!" - Emily Rowe "Do you want to jiggle my boob?" - Kate "I'm talking about poop-water!" - Neilee Metzger "Hey everybody, let's ... be gay." - Alex Grecheski "Will you please put your shirt back on?" - Sam Hamilton "Jeff was doin' the spit yo-yo over my face, and then the phone was ringning, so I moved and it went in my ear." - Sam Hamilton "I would rather just roll around the gym." - Emily Rowe "Think about it: if you had 20 pounds of marijuana sitting right in front of you, would you turn it in?" - Stephanie Lewis "No, I'd probably sell it." - Kate "I wish my name was Black Castle of Opium." - Stephanie Lewis "Quiet, Bean Eater." - Matt Curtis "My boobs are too big." - Kate "No they're not, they're milkalicious." - Stephanie Lewis "Did you just lube me up?" - CJ Fisk "Ashley lubes up before every meal." - Stephanie "It's good for the body and the soul to fuck grandmas." - Brad Blair "I banged my grandma in the ass." - Jay Ruster "The first girl that sucked my dick kinda chewed on it." - Jay Ruster "I wanna put rogaine on my wiener." - Jay 1/26 "Are you achin'? Yup, yup, yup. For some bacon? Yup, yup, yup. You can be a big pig too." - Alyssa Cole "Did he die?" - Allyn Longcore "I don't know, he shoulda." - Mrs. Olsen 1/27 "I'm a pill-popping madman today." - Justin BeVier "An enraged bedroom slipper." - Fournier "Look, I changed the penis into a tornado." - CJ Fisk "That's what you get for being on a Krispy Kream diet." - Stephanie Lewis "Ashley, will you give me a butt-rub?" - Stephanie Lewis "You're gonna be shittin' fire tomorrow." - Stephanie 1/29 "You can't have a pair of balls and tap dance; it just does not work." - Jay Ruster "They were never going out, they were just breeding buddies." - Jay Ruster 1/30 "Can we play in the road today?" - Courtney Rae "That is so homosexual." - Fournier "If it smells like a dog, looks like a dog, and barks like a dog, it's not a duck!" - Sara Kies "I had to run behind Kate while she was strapped to a harness." - Stephanie 2/2 "You were dry and I made you juicy." - Courtney Rae "I'm just using her for her candy, I don't really like her." - Kate "Jump rope with the intestines." - Fournier "Shit faced, muther fuckers." - Jake Shain "If you don't want a yeast infection, eat yogurt." - Fournier "Ya never know when a moose is gonna take a dump." - Fournier "Mike says 'icky' too. That's such a homosexual little saying." - Stephanie Lewis "Underground vacuum racing." - DeAnna Ellis "Why is he talking like a dragon?" - Ron Wheaton 2/3 "Sickly green fear pulled at their entrails. That means they got tummy aches." - Mrs. Olsen "Yeah, I was like, 'whatever, you're hot.'" - Jacqui DeFouw "Do you know what a buttplug is, Jacqui?" - Stephanie DeFouw 2/4 "She makes me look snagely and I am not snagely. She's the snagel here, not me." - Stephanie Lewis "I want to kick her snagely ass." - Stephy "Spasming below the waist." - Dusty Postumas "You'll never be the happy Islamic woman I am!" - Matt Whetzel 2/5 "The word 'fuck' makes me have to poop." - James Golden "Makes me wish I had 2 penises, but that's why guys have mouths." - James Golden 2/6 "I can play the fricken skin flute for an hour and it doesn't make any noise." - Stephanie Lewis 2/9 "Mr. A's hot." - Will Taboska "Tuna is the chicken of the sea." - Jeremy Woodward "Don't fondle my penguin." - Fournier 2/17 "When I want my finger in your crack, I'll put it there." - Stephanie Lewis 2/18 "Make sure you sanitize the poop before you eat it." - Corey Chase "Don't go lookin' for dirty meat." - Fournier "Did you know there's a parasite that can take over a snail's mind?" - Dan Reed "Is it rectal exam day?" - Mr. Reed "I eat peas and they kinda clump up on my pancreas." - Stephanie Lewis "She's only 6, let's not corrupt her yet." - Mrs. Olsen 2/20 "Sounds like they're spankin' a baby with a cat." - Bill Korb "Sometimes I forget to swallow." - CJ Fisk "I can't go anywhere without my George Foreman Grill." - Will Tobashka 2/23 "You've got a hole in your butt!" - Brad Blair "I gotta take a dump." - Megan Colby 2/24 "What's that?" - Kate "I made it. It's a stick." - Brad Blair "He was colored and flimsable. I don't know what flimsable means, but he could flim." - Brad Blair 3/1 "Phyllis beats her meat with dirty little birdy feet." - Stephanie Lewis "How do you masturbate a snail?" - Kate "I don't know, ask her." *points to Ashley* - Stephanie "The same way you probe a cricket." - Stephanie "Yeah, I lay in bed and think about masturbating snails." - Stephanie Lewis 3/2 "I'm such a homo." - Stephanie Lewis "You have nipples on your back." - Stephanie "I know, Tony put 'em there." - CJ Fisk "I see your smile, but your eyes scream sadness." - Mishy 3/3 "What is that; fried shit?" - Jessica Nichols "Back that train up." - Fournier "It's like a combination of blood and jiz on a sandwich." - Jay Ruster "Wouldn't that be a pooper? You go through high school, you're in 12th grade and almost done, then you drop dead." - Mrs. Olsen 3/5 "You're so squishy and hyper." - Neilee Metzger 3/11 "... or I'll remove your reason for being a man." - Courtney Rae "It's like tupperware for your vagina!" - Emily Rowe 3/12 "Yeah, touch my bongos." - Adam Vainavicz 3/17 "Drop your pants and let me squeeze your balls." - Stephanie Lewis "You've never been to My-anus?" - Tyler Bauer "No, you want me to?" - Steve Odren "I would clean up monkey shit before I touched your penis." - Mitch Armstrong "No, you wouldn't." - Kevin Cuppett "Yeah, I know." - Mitch 3/18 "There's his anus! Probe it!" - Sara Kies 3/19 "Ew, now I've got beaver germs in my mouth." - Jenny Reed "I love penis." - Justin BeVier "I love cooter." - Courtney Rae "Your vagina muscles squish it." - Brad Blair "You need nipple shields." - Jenny Reed "I get nervous when you get close to my nipples." - Tony Wiers "Humor the old whore." - Jorden Porter "*sings* I could wear my sunglasses at night." - Ron Wheaton "What does the phrase 'big juicy scoop' remind you of?" - Jake Watson 10/28 "Someone told me I looked like their grandma's couch." - Amanda (last name unknown) "Jennifer Lopez is so hot." - Emily Rowe 10/29 "I was spooning with my dog before I came to school." - Stephanie Lewis 10/30 "I wanna steal your lip." - Neilee Metzger "I wanna poke your cleavage." - Kate "Nice to know I have gopher qualities." - Kate "Now I can drink fluids out of things without putting my mouth on... things." - Ron Wheaton "When you least expect it, I'll be there, sniffing your hair." - Emily Rowe "They don't play gore anymore, do they?" - Mrs. Olsen "Yeah." - Tyler Metzger "Oh they do? Good." - Mrs. Olsen "The world burns around us, not in us." - Joe Castine 10/31 "Shh, I'm sharin' my life here." - Mrs. Olsen 11/1 "My grandma has butterballs." - Stephanie Lewis "Kate, I just got spanked." - Stephanie Lewis 11/3 "I'm such a sweaty mop." - Justine Gunneson 11/4 "Ya wanna dance old man?" - Emily Rowe "I have muscle, it's just covered." - Ron Wheaton 11/5 "It's like when you stick your finger in your belly button for like, an hour, and it smells really bad." - Emily Rowe "I grope everyone equally." - Kate "My pee's gonna flow in a minute." - Stephanie Lewis "I love corn. Especially when it's on my ass." - Joe Castine "Look at that beaner juice." - Joe Castine "They start out swearing, then get naked, then they're killing people." - Mrs. Olsen "If you all pass out, I'm not giving you mouth-to-mouth." - Mrs. Olsen 11/6 "Good ol' pornography." - Zach Ebenstein 11/10 "A turkey-human! With squirral hands!" - Neilee Metzger "Phyllis has milky hair." - Stephanie Lewis "What's with the stupid 'A' on his shirt?" - Kate "It's his shirt, dear. You said her." - Neilee Metzger "Nuhuh. He said she." - Ron Wheaton 11/13 "We can dance, we can dance, everyone can look at your pants." - Emily Rowe 11/14 "Every word she says I want to slap back in her face and make her choke on it." - Stephanie Lewis "You may be slick, but I'm quick." - Jacqui DeFouw 11/18 "If it has a penis and he's hot, I like him." - Neilee Metzger 11/19 "Mr. Carr's a fruit loop." - Stephanie Lewis "I can't get my shirt off, I think Mike's gonna have to do it." - Stephanie Lewis 11/20 "Why are you dating tall guys with small penises? Nobody likes sex until they have it. It seems all bad till you do it. See this is my thoery on sex. If everybody was makin' love everyone would be happy. See this is why all those kids come to school with guns and shit, they're not getting laid! If they were gettin' some they'd be happy, they'd be good. Look at the 60's: everybody was making love and smoking weed. Everybody was happy living in their vans with 15 people. Everyone was good. ‘Cause everyone was getting laid." - Emily Rowe "I think it's stupid when boys call girls gay. Guys love watchin' girls make-out, so how is calling some girl gay a bad comment to her? I think being gay is beautiful." - Emily Rowe "Toucan Sam, the fruit loop man." - Emily Rowe "If you're ever in my house, you can't lick the walls." - Fournier "He told me to go lick a dead deer before." - Jake Shain "It tasted like runny eggs with chunks in it." - Bill Korb "I've seen old people porn." - Stephanie Lewis "See, like Emily said, if we were all gettin' laid, we'd be good." - Kate "Yeah, that's why Ashley's so angry all the time." - Stephanie Lewis "Who do I wanna get laid by, huh?" - Ashley "Me. I'm the love master, yo. Just like Kate; Kate's a beast." - Stephanie Lewis "Cripples make the best lovers." - Stephanie Lewis "Morons need more-Ron." - Ron Wheaton 11/21 "Hand him some chicken and be like, 'wanna get married?'" - Emily Rowe 11/24 "Silly Kate, trix are for kids." - Emily Rowe "Pink will never be in." - Joe Castine "It has no flavor, no taste. Oh wait... that's the same thing." - Jacqui DeFouw "I don't know too many people who have been fucked up the ear." - Rob Shively 11/25 "If you give me candy, you can seduce me. It's what you really want in the end." - Emily Rowe "They're kinda hard to eat because they're so furry." - Mrs. Crowley "Take their dildo, set it on fire, and make 'em eat it." - Amanda Covey "She looks great and she's good with a gun; what more do you want?" - Mrs. Olsen 11/30 "When I get to heaven, I won't have to sit on toilet seats that people peed on." - Lorrie Shelton 12/1 "I didn't ask what species you are, I asked who you were." - Emily Rowe 12/2 "She was trying to do this lesbian religious belly dance for Courtney." - Stephanie Lewis "Do you go ass diving for Joyce's ass potatoes?" - Stephanie Lewis "If nut had a taste, it'd taste like rye bread." - Jay Ruster "Don't make me spit sandwich all over your face." - Joe Castine 12/3 "Her cock is bruised." - Stephanie Lewis 12/4 "In 50 years, you'll just be a name on a tombstone somewhere." - Mrs. Olsen "They're throwing seeds, how is that risque?" - Amanda Bigney "You'd be surprised where risque can happen." - Mrs. Olsen "All those black people doin' their thing out there." - Mrs. Olsen 12/5 "My goal in life is to have sex on a moving roller coaster." - Courtney Rae 12/10 "That means 'I lick myself.'" - Mrs. Crowley "I was president of the geek club. I was proud." - Fournier "She'll rip a little ass for ya, if you want. You can bite a piece o' that out of the air." - Stephanie Lewis "We don't beat people, we whip them." - Ron Wheaton "Most of the streetwalkers I've seen wear jeans. I see 'em down on division. My husband has a lot of rentals in the ghetto." - Mrs. Olsen "Somehow we got off on hookers." - Mrs. Olsen 12/12 "That was diet pepsi and trail mix; my recipe for vomit." - Stephanie Lewis "I'm a pig fucker." - Jay Ruster "How do you knock yourself up?" - Ron Wheaton 12/15 "I didn't just draw it, it's real corn. I stole it from the field by the Cedar View. I'm a rebel." - Allyn Longcore 12/17 "I had to take my butt ball out." - Ron Wheaton "Have you ever seen my PE shirt?" - Neilee Metzger "The slutty one with the holes in the nipples?" - Ron Wheaton "...no." - Neilee "Oh yeah, that's mine." - Ron 12/22 "God, if I cut my wrist open, she'd yell at me for bleeding on the floor. I shit you not." - Jay 1/5 "What's the plural word for penis?" - Stephanie Lewis "Penises?" - Kate "Penai." - Stephanie Lewis 1/6 "I'm gonna suck on some boobs." - Alex Grecheski "I'm gonna slap Kate with my stick." - Stephanie Lewis "Just remember, I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you." - Mrs. Olsen "Yeah, I have radioactive spit." - Ron Wheaton 1/9 "Lick my ass. god." - Courtney Rae "She's gonna make us rape her." - Courtney Rae "Two of them go down on all fours, then the others jump on their butt." - Sam Hamilton "Look at that pus-sack." - Stephanie Lewis "I was hoping I'd fall on the floor so she'd start tearing my clothes off." - Some kid in the hallway "No, I wanna eat your boob." - Joe Castine "I realized yesterday I have a phobia of getting shot by a black guy." - Jay Ruster 1/13 "I'm about to crap my pants up here." - Mrs. Crowley "What if the only way to get rid of chronic bronchitis was by pulling their tube out by their mouth and sucking out the mucus?" - Stephanie Lewis "I just stabbed myself in the milk bubble." - Stephanie Lewis 1/14 "I dreamt that Mike gave me head last night." - Stephanie Lewis "Thirsty? Do you want to suckle my zipple?" - Joe Castine 1/16 "Sneak out, open the gates, and kill the city!" - Mrs. Olsen "I doubt my husband could kill me. Though he says he could." - Mrs. Olsen "Where do aids come from?" - Tyler Metzger "Monkeys." - Mrs. Olsen "Where do we get them?" - Tyler "Sex. Sex with monkeys." - Mrs. Olsen "See! They were having sex with their monkey buddies down in Africa and that's where aids came from." - Tyler "I'm bored and horny... and hungry. These things are close to unbearable when only one is happening, but all three... it's a trio of terror." - Ron Wheaton 8/25 "Dont mention food, I get excited." - Fournier "You can't eat your dissections." - Fournier 9/3 "No, we met at church, it's not a big dirty story, sorry." - Mrs. Olsen "You just wanna kiss 'em when they say lellow!" - Mrs. Olsen 9/4 "I'm poor. I'm poorer than you are!" - Jake Mellema 9/5 "I'm gonna make corn ciggarettes." - Jessica Nichols "Chicken in a box." - Jessica Nichols 9/12 "You said I could die!" - Ron Wheaton 9/16 "That teacher's a crazy bitch." - Courtney Rae 9/22 "Tyler, get off of it, you homo." - Nick Steimal 9/24 "My mom makes hamburgers or whatever and I drink the grease outta the pan." - Courtney Rae "Who sits under a tree in their underwear, fanning themselves?" - Emily Rowe "I hope I have an armpit disease." - Stephanie Lewis 9/25 "I'm gonna grab your boob by the end of the day." - Emily Rowe 10/1 "What are you doing, Lunch Bucket?" - Justin BeVier 10/3 "Holy crap, Cedar Point over walking around in your underpants." - Emily Rowe "I have cancer, can I have some marijuana, as long as it's prescription?" - Stephanie Lewis "Kate, you're a rubber band." - Stephanie (Reference for this next one: Tyler is tall.) "Tyler, is anyone in your family tall?" - Mrs. Olsen "No." - Tyler Emmorey "What about relatives?" - Olsen "No." - Tyler "What about your milkman?" - Olsen "I feel like crap, make your own dinner." - Ron Wheaton 10/6 "Did you die?" - Ron Wheaton "I felt supremely confident now with a knife in my hand." - Mrs. Olsen "I bet I could fit more stuff in my mouth than you." - Girl on bus "You don't even know what I do with my mouth!" - Girl on bus 10/7 "A skanky hoebag just came up to my door." - Joe Castine 10/8 "My hand smells soo good." - Ron Wheaton "Why?" - Amanda Wheelock "Because of Cherie." - Ron Wheaton "Menopause. MenOpause. Men-oh here it is." - Neilee Metzger 10/9 "Look dude, you won. You got the magic piece." - Emily Rowe "I hope it penetrates your rib tissues." - Stephanie Lewis "Is that guy holdin' his nuts?" - Stephanie "Ohhhh, I have a craving for some bread? *shakes head* Not gonna happen." - Ron Wheaton 10/13 "I'm tired of everyone eatin' fish." - Tyler Metzger "He's got those kinds of eyes that just say, 'I'm gonna put fish in your hair." - Crowley 10/15 "There were so many bitches in the sentence." - Courtney Rae 10/17 "What the hell's a woopellet?" - Katee 10/21 "I can see little things shootin' from the sky." - Courtney Rae "Kate, you're a beast." - Stephanie Lewis 10/22 "I love loose paper." - Neilee Metzger 10/23 "Oh my gosh, he said the C word." - Mrs. Olsen "What's the C word?" - Amanda Bigney *whispers into microphone* "condom." - Mrs. Olsen "Who would want a song about a transvestite?" - Mrs. Olsen "...walking past a field of burning marijuana." - Mrs. Olsen "What's another word for non-productive?" - Zach Ebenstein "Hippie." - Ron Wheaton "Who needs pot when we can give ya a little buzz?" - Olsen "The Toilet Police are gonna come out and get me." - Mr. Sabinas "Everyone likes to be picked up. Except Stacy, I was holding her upside down earlier. She didn't like that for some reason." - Mitch Armstrong 10/24 "Wouldn't it be funny if one day you woke up and looked like Joe and he woke up and looked like you and you guys were still dating?" - Courtney Rae "I have a 2/5 of Jack Daniel's, I'm just gonna chill there all morning." - Emily Rowe "Am I your best friend?" - Emily "I dunno, are you named after an alcohol?" - Courtney "She ran into the wall, that's the only reason she stopped running." - Neilee Metzger "I heard in some cultures, they kiss by putting their foreheads together." - Mitch Armstrong "He sure does flail a lot, doesn't he?" - Kate "Look at him grope those balls." - Stephanie Lewis "Tell him to lick your ass." - Brad Blair "All hail cheesus." - Jay Ruster "I'm gonna fuck Justin in the ass." - Jay Ruster "MxPx that, ya piece o' shit." - Jay "I was like, 'that guy's got a beard!' so I shot him." - Jay "I only have one piece of ass." - Girl in BMMT "I have two pencils at the same time." - Ron Wheaton "Drugs." - Amanda Bigney "I could use some today, but I took Ibuprofen instead." - Mrs. Olsen |
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squish322 | 10-30-07 4:33pm hahaha wow.. |
keltoesx | 11-05-07 2:36pm ahahahahahahaha. Oh the memories. ahaha.
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anachronism | Re:, 11-05-07 9:13pm Haha, I only quoted myself a few times. Other quotes from me are ones people wrote down/told me to quote/or ones from when Kate quoted. So don't worry, I'm not all stuck on myself, hahaha.
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keltoesx | Re: Re:, 11-06-07 1:59pm Yeah right...You know you're totally obsessed with yourself. hahaha. |
tails | 11-07-07 6:46pm Funny stuff happen. |
defiant | ..., 11-24-07 4:13am I may or may not have just cried... |
anachronism | Re: ..., 12-01-07 7:00pm There's some good memories in there. |
jes | 04-16-09 10:56am "I'm gonna castrate him with my own hands! -Denee' Millering"
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