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| xjayk (profile) wrote, on 1-24-2008 at 12:41am | |
| I'm begining to come to terms with myself. I've learned last year that no one can live a perfect life, but its a life non the less and I intend on making the best of it. I've also come to terms with the fact I am a drug addict and that I cannot change over night. I've been sleeping my days away lately to keep myself from self destructing but I honestly think I just need to get out of the damn house. I work I come home, wait up for Thaddeus, we go to bed, I wake up in the morning, crawl over Thaddeus, get ready, go to school, come home, sleep, get ready, kiss Thaddeus goodbye, go to work. It goes on like that now everyday. I think I'm just making myself go crazy with these planned days, damn OCD. If one thing isn't in order I flip, but I'm in a way an oxymoron because I can't stand rituals. So tomorrow and Friday I mixing life up with a party to relieve some stress. I've been reliving some terrible memories this past week that I had hoped I repressed last year but I guess its something I need to learn to deal with day to day now. It's sad that I put myself into positions like I have. I haven't made the wisest desitions in my life but I can only hope that I will learn from my mistakes. On a good note, I'm getting a HOUSE! That's right me Alicia Marie Winningham the 1st is getting a house with Thaddeus John Gamez! WOOO! We'll be moving in as soon as we find one. Hahaha. Nah Thad's living with me right now until we find a house. Of course he had to have bad credit. Stupid mexican. You gotta love him though. I'm so excited, awww man I just thought about the fact I don't have a car.... I was about to get a 68 mustang coupe for 2g's but then I called on it a day to late and it was sold. Sad really it was candy apple red and had leather interior. I am really going to miss that car. That car I never really got to drive...Okay so I wont miss it that much but I'll miss the idea of maybe being able to own a car like that, or maybe even being able to drive it. You know I can drive it 'cause I have a license. That's right, I know your jelous. Get over yourself and just be happy for me would ya? Man I'm having mood swings. Lets see.... So ugh Valentines day is coming up soon... Yeah..... Don't like that day.... Thaddeus's head isn't screwed on all the way so he forgets things easily. I really like the idea of it all though... I also like flowers... Man I'm thirsty. I need a drink There's banging in the kitchen and I'm the only one home....I'm such a puss. :( A thirsty puss.... Wish me luck I'm going into the haunted kitchen *goulish noises* |
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xxxxxxxxxx | 01-24-08 4:48pm Ooh. Candy apple red? sounds hott. You'd look good in that car, Leesh. Just check out usedcars.com. That's what I've been doin'.
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acidtears | 01-25-08 10:31pm Coming to terms with yourself is the hardest thing you'll do, but afterwards, it's a new freedom. You never have to justify anything to yourself, rationalize, or lie to yourself. That's one good thing I've gotten out of the past months.
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