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| sugarjackj (profile) wrote, on 6-25-2008 at 3:32am | |
| Subject: Why the batman/superman movie will never happen.... |
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| *Fade in on the Gotham City Police Department. Batman addresses Commissioner Jim Gordon and his officers.* Batman: There's no time to waste. Two-Face is holding the Second National Bank hostage, and we- *Superman bursts in.* Superman: Yo, Bruce-man, sorry I'm late. What's the sitch? Batman: Well, as I wrote in the comprehensive brief I sent out- Superman: Oh, no worries, totally glanced over that. Double-Face, right? What's his deal again? Laser eyes? Super-speed? Batman: No, he's, um, obsessed with the number two. Superman: Ha! No, seriously. What's he do? Mind control? Batman: Well, he also has this skin condition. Superman: Are you f*cking kidding me? One sec. *Superman crashes out through the wall.* Batman: Actually, the skin thing is more of a metaphor for the duality of- *Superman flies back in, carrying a handcuffed Two-Face.* Superman: Done. Two-Face: WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED? Superman: Also, while I was out, I went ahead and stopped crime. All of it. Batman: But- The mission- My parents- Superman: Dude, no worries, you can totally lighten up now. *A single tear emerges from under Batman's cowl.* Superman: Anyway, I'm headed to Cabo. Anybody want a lift? *A cop tentatively raises his hand.* Superman: Um, yeah, sorry man, when I say "anybody", I was really only talking to the chicks in the room. Any takers? No? Ah, well your loss. Later! *Superman crashes through the other wall. Roll credits.* |
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joeydomina | 06-25-08 11:29am greatest movie ever. |
Atman | 06-25-08 2:10pm You forgot the part where Batman hits him with Kryptinite bolos, and he lays there crying like a little bitch.
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spud | Re:, 06-27-08 1:45am personally i think it bashes on two-face more than batman.
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sugarjackj | 06-27-08 11:55pm Haha.
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