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skife (profile) wrote,
on 8-4-2008 at 12:48am
some anon posted this, i'm still laughing.

9th grade:
My first sexual experience that actually involved nudity. While we're fondling each other, she asks me if I like Diet Coke.

Me: It's allright.
Girl: Well, I LOVE it. How 'bout you go get me a bottle of it?

I go downstairs and grab a 20 ounce bottle from the fridge. When I return, she says it's too cold.

Girl: How 'bout warming it up...by rubbing it on my tits?

So I began to rub her vigorously with the bottle. Soon enough, she asks me to shove it inside of her. She really enjoys it, and so do I because I KNOW that, with this girl, I'm definantly going to get off. That's when it gets crazy.

She rips out the bottle, opens it, and begins filling her VAGINA with Diet Coke. I swear, she nearly empties the volume into her VAGINA. I had seriously underestimated this VAGINA's liquid retention volume.

Girl: YOU LIKE DIET COKE?!?!?!? OH YEAH OH YEAH DRINK IT FROM ME!

I was noticebly freaked me, but I did want to get off, and I didn't want my first load-blow to be into 18.7 fluid ounces of a 0-calorie beverage. I began to go down on her, until she said the exact wrong thing.

Girl: OH YEAH, DRINK IT FROM ME! I'M THE KOOL-AID MAN! OH YEAH! OH YEAH!

I don't know how she did it with 16-year-old voice, but she sounded exactly like the Kool-Aid man from the commercials. I glanced at the wall, half-expecting him to burst through and over me a fruity beverage. I was extremely turned-off. She could tell, too. As she sat up to see what was wrong, she twisted her body in such a way that Diet Coke shot out of her VAGINA and all over my face, chest, and groin. And it was at that sticky, low-calorie moment that my parents chose to pull into the driveway.
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phil-himself

08-04-08 11:03am

/facepalm

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jayzulla

08-04-08 11:44am

I would have known something was horribly wrong when she started filling herself.... lol, that gave me a good laugh.

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brianna

08-04-08 5:57pm

*laughs hard* wow. just wow

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outsyder18

08-04-08 9:01pm

Photobucket

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outsyder18

08-04-08 9:12pm

Photobucket

(reply to this)


brianna

Re:, 08-06-08 12:03pm

one of my favorite macros

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phil-himself

08-04-08 9:38pm

old copypasta is copypasta and old

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outsyder18

Re: Copy And Paste This Bith, You Fail, 08-04-08 10:04pm

Photobucket

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phil-himself

Re: Re: Copy And Paste This Bith, You Fail, 08-04-08 10:07pm

nate go swallow some razor blades cause you don't have any idea what im talking about

justin does

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phil-himself

Re: Re: Copy And Paste This Bith, You Fail, 08-04-08 10:12pm

im working 3rd tonight so im going to be suprised if I dont strangle something in the next 9 hours

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jim9nin

Re:, 08-04-08 10:18pm

this phrase is 100% correct.

(reply to comment)


jim9nin

Re: Re: Re: Copy And Paste This Bith, You Fail, 08-04-08 10:19pm

Now ITT: Black Album is both black and album...discuss.

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phil-himself

Re: Re: Re: Re: Copy And Paste This Bith, You Fail, 08-05-08 7:47am

and megadeath

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outsyder18

Re: Re: Re: Copy And Paste This Bith, You Fail, 08-05-08 10:28pm

Photobucket

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Anonymous

Re: Re: Re: Re: Copy And Paste This Bith, You Fail, 08-10-08 11:22am

black album is black, therefore we hang black album?

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skippi16

heh, 08-04-08 10:49pm

well i will never think of diet coke in the same way again thank you for that.... whats going on for tjs party??? let me know

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eddy

08-10-08 6:50am

I'm so glad I do not drink diet coke. This was effectively disturbing, thanks, lol.

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