| Add Memory | Add To Friends | |
| godessalthena (profile) wrote, on 8-10-2008 at 8:58am | |
| Current mood: depressed Music: DEPRESSING SHIT KIDS Subject: all things must come to an end.. i guess. |
|
| So it's over.. It really is just over.. .... It was really funny.. we were sitting on the couch talking about what the best thing to do was.. and we're both just sitting there thinking "shit.. fuck.. it's over.." and it just starts POURING rain. seriously cats-and-dogs style. first time it's rained like that since winter.. SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK?? so i was like.. wow.. i really hate when i get my way.. he almost cried.. and i cried a little.. and then i was like.. "Uhm.. idk what do to.. i'm going to go kick it with tammie and her bf.." and he was like cool i'll go program.. and i just left.. idk.. so i spent most of my evening shopping with tammie for random crap.. then we went to the bf's and ate potatoes and steak.. and i wanted to cry so so so soooo bad, but i didn't because i didn't want to seem like a loser.. i know i look really strong. and i know that i never cry anymore.. but this really, really hurts sometimes.. i know it's for the best... and i know we've honestly been broken up for a while before we actually said anything.. but that doesn't make my heart hurt any less.. so i'm moving out in September.. and moving in with tammie.. and it's going to be sooooo much fun! but until then i'm still living with him.. and it's weird.. last night i came home and went straight to bed.. i was so upset i forgot to lock the door.. he was at the store.. idk.. i had the worst feeling driving home and walking towards the door.. it was so horrible.. "i'm going to be alone.." all the lights were off.. i just brushed my teeth and layed in my bed.. and i just.. my kitty was trying to make me feel better, i just started crying.. but it wasn't like sobbing.. just quiet crying for about.. 2 minutes.. then i stopped.. idk why but i just didn't want to cry anymore.. then he came back from the store and layed down next to me.. "were you crying..?" smile.. i laughed "yeah.. maybe a little.... ... How do you feel..?" he smiled and was like "i feel ok.. how about you..?" i laughed again and said "i have no idea.. heartbroken i guess.. bad.." then i laughed again "it isn't supposed to feel good when you get dumped, right?" and he laughed a little "my heart is broken too.." and we both laughed a little.. you know.. the like.. 'i'm only laughing right now because i have no idea what else to do' kind of laugh.. .. and it hurts still.. but.. i have no idea.. i really don't know.. but whatever happens.. there's always the future.. i still love him.. and i know he still loves me.. it's just that the world hates us. if only i had stayed in school.. we're like romeo and juliet, only not stupid. so.. yeah.. i'm done for today. |
|
| Post A Comment |
|
oceanchild | 08-11-08 6:49pm Wow. That...really sucks. I'm awfully sorry. *hug* |