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| godessalthena (profile) wrote, on 10-1-2008 at 2:40pm | |
| Current mood: depressed |
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| i hate when i get in these moods. where i think i'd be happier if i was depressed.. and when i want to be all alone and never see another human being again.. it makes me feel so guilty to have some.. me time.. if you could call it me time.. to have some time where i'm not happy and i'm not trying to make sure everyone else in my life is too. it just gets so hard to be happy all the time.. and to just pretend like the shitty stuff in my life isn't going to eventually happen.. or that things aren't shitty right now.. i think a lot of this feeling comes from not having a job. and from having debt.. and not being able to go for walks.. or even sit outside. i can't do anything i really love doing.. and it's really depressing.. i can't even sit up long enough to paint... idk.. i feel alone.. and i miss how my life used to be. i miss having a life. and i miss feeling like.. i'm not just an.. antidepressant.. i just feel worthless and useless right now.. and i just want to pretend like i don't exist. |
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rorin | 10-01-08 7:33pm You know you can always talk to me. So why didn't you tell me this on the phone?
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