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| robbingnovember (profile) wrote, on 12-4-2008 at 12:05am | |
| I miss who I used to be-- what I used to mean to other people. to myself. But I'm a better person now. One drop of food coloring has been mixed in the water and I can't go back now--to be that. I just look at old pictures and I think wow I was vibrant and beautiful. and now I just think that I have a good head on my shoulders-- I make good decisions-- I think about right and wrong and about people and everything. I could be better too--always. I am smart and I work hard, but I am boring. I am old. I guess I miss being the center of attention, but I guess I am the center of attention in other ways now-- what I lack in social graces I make up for in the classroom. I don't really know who I like better. I just think things were much more simple back then when I was more simple--when I actually liked my old friends (some specifically) and that lifestyle. I don't like being frivolous anymore--I like goals and good decisions. I like tea and good conversation. I don't like to drink (too many calories, but can be fun sometimes) or smoke (who cares) or stay out too late (have to do work in the morning) . I like humor and being good at what I do. I don't like when people are oblivious. I was one of 13 people nominated in a 700 person class for phi beta kappa-- one of 4 females. I have an ambivalent attachment style (As adults, those with an ambivalent attachment style often feel reluctant about becoming close to others and worry that their partner does not reciprocate their feelings. This leads to frequent breakups, often because the relationship feels cold and distant. These individuals feel especially distraught after the end of a relationship.) I am cold and distant. I care about everyone and everything. I have no love life. I don't really know who to call my best friend anymore. I am a mixed bag. But I am really funny. and REALLY fucking good at what I do. I have adapted to my surroundings. | |
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blueyed | 12-07-08 12:33am
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