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rayray (profile) wrote,
on 12-17-2008 at 5:52pm
Music: Sorry - Buckcherry
Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me want to die


I have watched him suffer through the death of a friend..
And exactly a month later, for the course of about a month I watched him suffer the pain of watching his mother suffer until she passed away.
I have seen him at his weakest moments, and his strongest moments and the moments in between when he was lost in his own body.
I have helped him mend the pieces of a broken heart that I caused.
I have fought with him over serious things, and stupid things.
I've seen the fury in his eyes and the anger eat at him like a bacteria.
I've felt the distance grow and then be wiped away.
I've felt the butterflies day after day after day for over three years.
He's helped me through my roughest moments.
Wiped away a million undeserved tears.
Helped me mourn the loss of two friends.
Brought me chocolate shakes when I'm sick.
Let me get a cat even though he's allergic.
Let me keep the cat even though she's had an accident or two in the chair.
Let me fall asleep in his arms and wake up in his arms.
Our love is thicker than molasses.

I could go on and on describing our relationship, and its imperfections but it would take me days, and I would end up over analyzing everything to the point where I was stir-crazy, so I won't.

Christmas makes me cherish the ones I love. Makes me think about what I have, what I've lost, and what I could have.

This time of year makes me emotional.
November 21st this year was 7 years since my grandpa passed away.
December 23rd this year will be 4 years since my grandma passed away.
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cJessicaPyne

12-17-08 8:10pm

"I could go on and on describing our relationship, and its imperfections but it would take me days, and I would end up over analyzing everything to the point where I was stir-crazy, so I won't."

My song, sister.

(reply to this)

rayray

Re:, 12-17-08 8:54pm

The fights that last a few puffs of air, and the wrong things that are said and taken back as soon as the sentence is finished. The looks that are given, the tears that are shed, and the songs that are put on repeat that explain our lives..

Wondering how we got this far on so little, and how we are going to make it any farther..

The trust that fades in and out day by day and look by look.

Coincidentally the song he dedicated to me, was Sorry by Buckcherry, and the song I dedicated to him was Sorry by Daughtry..

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cJessicaPyne

Re: Re:, 12-17-08 9:05pm

I'm pretty sure we're taking pages out of the same book. It makes me happy knowing someone understands/feels the same, but also sad because I know it gets rough.

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rayray

Re: Re: Re:, 12-17-08 9:16pm

I don't know if rough is quite the word to explain it.

What keeps me strong is knowing that it isn't the end as long as our heads are both above water. We're in it together.

Sometimes I wonder if I have everything in my life that I need to stay happy.. But then I think that life is kind of like a puzzle and you accumulate as you go on.. But what happens once the puzzle is finished?

Im afraid that at some point I will get to the point that i will need a marriage and kids to continue on my happy puzzle way, and that scares me. I don't want to feel like I need those these to be happy. Relying on those things to complete my cycle is not what I want, but it may be what I need.. Maybe if I just fill my life with kittens, puppies, and bunnies.. ha ha probably not, huh?

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cJessicaPyne

Re: Re: Re: Re:, 12-17-08 9:17pm

Just fill your life with meeee

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chelthesmell

12-17-08 11:06pm

<3
That pretty much sums up what I have to say to this. I am emotional today and this just got to me Rayche...Thanks. =)

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rayray

Re:, 12-18-08 5:05pm

More of us feel the same than we realize.

Btw, you should go into labor on new years!!!

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chelthesmell

Re: Re:, 12-19-08 10:32pm

That'd be pretty sweet but the Doc told me not to go into labor between Dec 23rd and Jan 3rd because he'll be on vacation. lol.

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