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buttercupistiny (profile) wrote,
on 2-24-2009 at 12:57am
Dear Justin,
Tonight is hard. My head hurts, my back aches, my stomach has been cramping all day, my legs are sore, and my shoulders and neck are so tense I can hardly move. I didn't want to cry tonight. my tears sting and itch, burning humiliating rivulets down my cheeks. Sleep is both so close and so out of reach. I press myself against the wall, pulling the covers as close as I can, heating pad resting on my stomach, a last ditch attempt to calm the cramping. I turn out the light, and switch iTunes to my nocturnal playlist. Tonight every song reminds me of you, there is no escape from how completely you have permeated my world. I hear your voice, feel your hands caress my shoulders, settling on my waist. I feel your stomach rise and fall against my back. your heartbeat the most comforting sound I know. your breath, warm as it blows past my ear and neck. nestled against your chest I am safe. I feel your leg on my hip, at last my confinement is complete and sleep can ensue. Reality interrupts. I realize you aren't here, and won't be for another nine months.It will be another four months until I see you again. I wonder how you're sleeping. I wonder if we'll ever get this marriage off the ground. I miss you.
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gideon

02-24-09 9:09pm

I could edit/nitpick this so much but I will resist and try looking at it emotionally instead.

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