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| xjayk (profile) wrote, on 3-26-2009 at 12:51am | |
| I can feel him at night sometimes. When I'm lying in bed wide awake but trying my hardest to sleep. I smell the tobacco and feel his hard warmth. Its almost like a sign like he's telling me that it'll be okay and that I'm doing the right thing. Its funny because when I do something bad I can feel this ice cold breeze come through my room just long enough for me to notice then its gone again. I stare at his picture that sits next to my bed along with the obituary article clip out proped up against it. I wonder if he knew or at the very least knows now how much I love him. He was a tight fisted man and had a shell a three feet thick, but I love him. I stare at the chair he sat in. The fabric is worn from years of abuse. And there sits his glasses on the January 22nd paper. Arms of an oxe and the belly of a truck driver. He could bench 500lbs - and never gloated. No one understood him, with the exception of a few. He once spent an hour cleaning out a pond searching for a little girls bracelet she got for taking out the trash. He was loud, he had something like a yell when he spoke but I'd give anything to hear it again. He was cheap, clung tight to every nickel. And he would give anything up for his family. He survived the family curse. and He'd wait in a car for 2hours in a blizzard so a teenager could roller-skate. A racist S.O.B and the ultamit protector. He chased men down the road in his underware and a shotgun in his hand for peaking in on my mother and followed people home in the winter just to make sure they were okay He'll always be that finger I clung to when I wanted to walk in the woods, but not alone. The worst advice giver and the most honest man I know He'll always be that last tear before bed and the laugh with a friend and I'd give anything to see him again. I roll over and grasp tightly onto his old lounge shirt and dig my face into it and inhail getting the last sent of him out. Tears that I've held in for so long I'm finally letting go. |
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xxxxxxxxxx | 03-26-09 10:40am I miss you too. Incredibly. I'm going to come into town again very soon. When I go into work today.. (in like 5 minutes..) I'm going to request a couple more days off, and I'll be back in town. We need movies, and downtown. God, do we ever need the downtown. Seriously, I miss it so much.
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