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valoth (profile) wrote,
on 6-14-2009 at 12:24am
Music: New Atlantic -
Subject: Update the status.
I seem to have lost my "Plan B!" envelope...anyone seen it? Big label on the front and the words "Property of Kelly Edly" on the back bottom middle. If you've seen this or have any information please contact me A.S.A.P.

Why? Because Im adrift in a sea of loathing in my mind. I cant help but try to stay busy.

I'm home from the Marines. I cannot go back. I will not be a Marine. Ever. -That part hurt me alot- Ive been home for a good month almost 2 now. I made it all the way to Forming day 3 before they said "Im sorry recruit, but unfortunately your trip ends here." Those were the exact words said to my by the Lieutenant who did my eye exam. Her Lieutenant Commander then walked over to me and sat me down in a waiting room to the side. Slap on the shoulder and said "Your trip is over. Just dont let it get you down. Take a moment, I know Id need one."

I arrived on the 14th of April, The 27th I was home and officially no longer in the service of the USMC,

I have Keratoconus in my right eye and very mild case in my left. This eye disease is a permanent disqualification for all service branches.

-Stop for a moment there. Think about that situation. I left with nothing, I expected a lifetime of service. I expected to restart life with this. I walk into it with all the confidence I can muster. I want to be there. Im willing to take a bullet(or worse) in the name of my country and the men/women who would serve around me.-

Ok so, you get told your done. Youre going home. Whats worse? Youre going home or the bonus that you could quite probably go blind in the future? WOooooo...Slap in the face aye? Ya.

I spent 10days in RSP(Recruit Seperation Platoon) during which time you process paper for leaving once your turn comes around. You dont get mail. You dont get to write mail. You work. You clean. You sit. You eat. You sit. You work. You sleep. You work. This is the life of the RSP. Depression was a huge thing in there. Gah. we had on average 35-40 recruits being sent home. Some in for refusing orders, some for depression, some for lies, some for drugs, the occasion assault case, and the broken(medicals) Out of ~35 recruits guess how many truely wanted to be there still How many wanted a second chance. Answer? 5 or less. Me being one.
The day I left the depot I left with 2 others both medical leaves on T-45/49. They were practically Marines. So close. One going home for being allergic to his own sweat the other for asthma. Shit deal.

Im home I cannot serve but God damn would I like to. I love the Marines. Semper Fidelis Devildogs! I stop by the Grand Rapids office here and there to say hello to Sgt Mullins and see if he needs someone to help watch his DEP pool. Fun nights. He's up for promotion and moving to another recruit station where he will be in charge this fall. Grats to him.


Im looking for a job. Im not finding much of possible stuff. I keep looking though.
I need a life plan again. I know what I like to do and it doesnt involve jobs really. I have no aspirations of wanting to go to school again.

Im single. I dont mind it. I dont look for a girl really. Mostly because I dont find myself going out. I dont idealize picking girls up a bars. I hardly drink. Sigh. Oh well.


I should be depressed. I manage to not be. Forgive and Forget. Live and let live.
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duckie

06-14-09 9:18am

a part of me can't help but wonder if this is indirectly directed at _____ because of the _____ you got this weekend.

but either way, everyone is way proud of you for actually following through with things, and EVERYTHING happens for a reason. obviously there's a greater purpose for you, it's just a matter of figuring/finding out what it is.

selfishly, i wish that this would be someone else's case. that maybe it's not his purpose either to sign away their life to the military for whatever personal reasons. i consider you lucky in that regard.

the marines mess people up. i would have hate to see you end up like my dad :\ you're too good for that. way too good.

love ya though. lots n lots. you're my bff :]

(reply to this)

butterfly

Re:, 06-15-09 1:55am

Rachel*
message*

haha not very descreet there Slayer -_-
Good to hear you're not sucumbing to depression. Sorry it didn't work out =[

(reply to comment)

duckie

Re: Re:, 06-15-09 5:22am

rofl! discreet is farrrr from being my middle name :p and i was just wondering!!

(reply to comment)

jim9nin

06-16-09 7:03pm

As much or little as this means to you Kelly. But I respect you still a lot because you took the first step that a lot of people won't take that are qualified to take that step. And you still wanted to stay in. I will still think highly of you for taking these actions.

(reply to this)

valoth

Re:, 06-17-09 7:55pm

Thank you Bill.

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