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| cjessicapyne (profile) wrote, on 2-17-2011 at 1:13pm | |
| Current mood: aggravated |
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| You were my best friend. You knew all my weaknesses. Then you exploited them. Like only you really could. And I bit the shit out of my tongue. I held my hands over my mouth and let you get the upper hand just so you'd go the fuck away. But now you're sorry. And now you're alone. And now you need me. How many times have I been through this with you? How many times have I bent over backwards to make you more comfortable? How many times have I fought and argued to sort things out to keep you around, even when everyone else in my life thought you were the worst thing for my sanity. And your texts, they kill me. Your messages twist my stomach. You have no idea how hard it is for me to look down, see your name on my phone, and flip it face-down without responding. I'm not holding back because I'm afraid I'll say something hurtful. I'm restraining myself so I somehow don't wind up with my arms wide open to you again. Please can I go home now? I can barely stay awake. But you sit there with your pride and kill us all. You have so much fun now trying to bend me till I break and I just set myself up to take the fall. Your eyes are black as tar and to look at you is hard, but I'm just too afraid to look away. Misery loves company and here you stand in front of me. Just please don't ask me to stay So, who do you trust? Now that you need me to get through the day. I'm asking too much - to have you hear what I have to say. So I say: Help me help you, I'm down on my knees If you need me so much then why did you leave? You needed a reason, you needed too much. You can lean on me, but don't lean on me like I'm your crutch. You never started loving me so you could never quit. I could rule this fucking world and you'd still think I'm shit. You've turned your back on me, have no family; In the end the devil gets what he deserves. So, who do you trust now that you need me to get through the day? I'm asking too much, to have you hear what I have to say. So I say: Help me help you, I'm down on my knees. If you need me so much then why did you leave? You needed a reason, you needed too much. You can lean on me, but don't lean on me like I'm your crutch. |
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acidtears | 02-18-11 12:10am I know I deserve this and so much more. And I know everything I did and said was wrong. I use to pride myself on being mature and talking first. And I shocked myself when I did what I did to you. I acted like I was in Middle School, and it was pathetic. I don't deserve forgiveness, but I hope someday that point will come. If not, it's my own fault. I treated you with such disrespect, it sickens me. You were always there for me. You were my best friend. You went above and beyond for me, and I fed you to the wolves. There is no explanation for it. None. It was childish, backstabbing, and rude. I'm so sorry and I understand where you're coming from, I would be cautious as well. But just know that I am sorry, I do love you, I do miss you. And I don't need you, I want you back in my life. But if not, I've made my bed. |