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| godessalthena (profile) wrote, on 8-7-2014 at 9:41pm | |
| i just kinda feel like i'm floating right now. through my life. i'm going through all the motions like a little worker bee. i feel a little lost, i know where i'm "going" but where am i really going? what do i want? i mean, i want a better job, a college degree, and a nice car. ok, that's great, that's really just basic blah. why don't i start making more solid goals? start really figuring out what i want? when do i wake up and say "oh shit, what am i doing? i've wasted x amount of my life doing something i don't love"? i'm afraid that my future self will regret the things my present self is doing. but what exactly could i be doing differently that would make me happy? am i just trying to find things to worry about and be unhappy about? my doctor has given me some really good coping tools, which i am currently practicing. i'm sure after i go to bed and clear my thoughts and ground myself, i'll feel better. i had a lovely day today. i spent after work with alexz and we watched supernatural and did the usual PB&J things, which is awesome. in addition to our usual shenanigans, we made the most delicious home-made ramen ever. it was so good. it was salty, but so good. its the first thing i've made in a long time that has actually turned out amazing haha. i'm excited to try that curry dish my mom made. it was like.. chicken curry soup with rice noodles. it was so delicious. with cilantro and peanuts on the top. i have so many crochet projects i need to do, but sometimes i just really lack the motivation to do something so repetitive haha. i LOVE crocheting, so so so much. i just need to start rewatching a show or spotify needs to stop being a turd nugget. anyway, i'm full of trepidation. i feel very resistant. i'm scared and ashamed of that. but i will change, and i will be happy. |
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alexithymia | 08-08-14 6:57pm I love you PB. That ramen was fantastic!
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