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| allyson (profile) wrote, on 3-16-2003 at 11:59am | |
| Current mood: content Music: none Subject: October 26th 2002 |
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| Hello, let's see here. School has started. I don't like it. Ruthie is back. Her wedding renewal was today. I didn't go. I wasted my time on other things. Tongith I cryed. It felt great, well needed and held in. I sit here wondering to myself why guys see me soo differently. To girls I am pretty, funny and skinny, but to guys I am the complete opposite. I am everything that they don't like. I get none of those looks from guys that read your amazing. I get sit down UGLY. I am a loser when it comes to guys. Nothing that i say or do will be to their pleasing. I should be shot. At times I think of all the time I waste, washing my face and thinking about how I should present myself. If I did or didn't they wouldn't like me either way. I believe that I was meant to be alone. And also think that I shouldn't date because I don't believe in love. and the only reason you date is to find someone to love, a companion. I believe there is no one out there for me. I did something foolish yesturday. I told someone how I felt and I completely ruined everything. I wasnt sure if I liked him enough. If there is such a thing. I didn't know and I iwll never tell anyone I like them again. It was worthless. I am worthless. Last night was horrible. And so was LUDINGTON. |
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skife | 03-16-03 4:19pm hmm.... recollecting entrys from the past?
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| allyson | Re:, 03-16-03 7:50pm Actually, this was in my real journal the one where I actually write in. This was the time when you were at that party, and you were going to go out with amy. |
KryieKougar | Re: Re:, 03-16-03 8:31pm we never went out, we almost did. but we didn't |
| allyson | Re: Re: Re:, 03-16-03 8:49pm I know but he well gave up me to try to be with you. That's what I was feeling then. |
KryieKougar | Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-16-03 8:54pm what party
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| allyson | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-16-03 9:00pm We made these plans to have me rachel jay and him go to ludington. He said that he liked me, but he decided to go to this party at his relatives house and a band was playing and stuff. He ended up not going. I found out after I called him and asked him to go that he liked you. That's the whole I told him I liked ihm thing and it was just fucked up. Then, I ended up just being with jay and rachel, they were going out at the time. It was horrible. |
KryieKougar | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-16-03 9:02pm oh ally i am sorry. that night i learned i could tickle chris with me feet. |
| allyson | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-16-03 9:05pm You were there too? Did you and justin do anything? |
KryieKougar | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-16-03 9:07pm i went to the one that had little kids, but a different night chris and justin came to my house before the adult party. we watched ummmmmm oh now i remember halloween h20 |
| allyson | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-16-03 9:08pm that one had little kids too. Did you and justin just cuddle and little kisses? |
KryieKougar | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-16-03 9:13pm flirting cuddling but i dont think any kisses that i remember that night |
| allyson | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-16-03 9:18pm THAT night? haha oh okay! |
KryieKougar | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-17-03 8:47am ally you are sooooooo cute. and thank you soooooooooooooooooooooo much(you know why) ;) |
| allyson | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-17-03 10:09am Haha, am I? your welcome... and I do know why... |
KryieKougar | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-19-03 3:32pm heheeh :D |