| Add Memory | Add To Friends | |
| robbingnovember (profile) wrote, on 3-28-2003 at 3:44pm | |
| Music: Bright eyes Subject: *I start wishing i had something i could offer them* |
|
| None of us have been writing.. it seems wrong. I feel very weird right now. Like somethings wrong but i cant pin point it. And I know everyone, or dana, is disapointed. And Id like to say i was too and i kind of am, because well this behavior is unacceptable. Yet. i seem to have accepted it, because i dont think im capable of such an enormous change. And everyone thinks its soo easy to just say hi or strike up a conversation with someone. And well for me it's one of my biggest fears. Like i compare it to getting a shot. Im sure this morning i probably would have threatened to jump out the window like i did the last time at the doctors office. No one understands how its not just that easy. It kills me. .. while this whole thing obviously kills my social life. And i hate writing because who knows who has this thing But ill deal with it So i have this problem and I have these two guys who i really like. And with jason its just shit and i always have this internal fear he likes Stacey. And so what if she has a boyfriend or not because that hasnt stopped me. Prime example guy number two. Neither i can talk to. I just wish i could be normal.. but i guess I got to be smart or something. Great. And i also suspect something. that you cant be happy for others.. unless you are happy. Im not a lucky kid. no no no. I dont know what to do with this life anymore. It gets to me every now and then |
|
| Post A Comment |
|
blueyed | 03-28-03 4:11pm Sarah I do agree with you, totally. I agree with the no matter how hard you try you can't be happy for people unless your happy, no matter how good- hearted of a person you are, you'll drown in the notion that they have something great.. and I don't, they are jsut liek everyone else. When you're happy and at a more stable state, you want to spread the happiness and such, but until then your just waiting for that warm hand to pull you out. alright getting all woa here, I'm just feeling the same way, with the normalness and how it would be a cool thing. I guess thats not who we are, and we'll make the best of whats around. Today was just off, the pieces didn't quite fall into place, another time, another day, it'll just happen and it'll be great, hope is the glue thats going to keep it together.
|
wannabe | 03-28-03 4:16pm i swear when i read this line:
|
blueyed | Re:, 03-29-03 11:24am o wow Sarah, I just had a wonderful yet simple thought and it needs to be written down. A smile, thats it, a lovely smile of acknowledgement. Think about the possibilities. |
justlikeyouimagined | 03-29-03 7:16pm pink elephants. |
| Anonymous | back-tracking, 04-09-03 8:53pm aww, seshuan..your entries are sounding soo depressed. i'm telling ya you need to listen to less of this emo-ness. yeah and there is no reaosn for you to change..your the best the way you are. reallly, and if jason isn't madly in love witj you (cuase ya know your the same person) then he isn't worth the time..eventhough i know you won't take that staement seriously. your not such a failure. look at it this way- some people are good at being aft or being on house arrest (a fellow ex-gifted-er) and some people are just the best at being cool- like you. seriously, don't get yourself so down. think happy thoughts. and whatever happened to this writting down 5 good things everyday? here i'll write them forrr you for today, April 9, 2003
|