| Add Memory | Add To Friends | |
| KTHPKC (profile) wrote, on 4-6-2003 at 12:20pm | |
| Current mood: edlike Music: Nebel Subject: Ed's thoughts and contemplations |
|
| It was dark and stormy when i looked outside the car's window on the way to my grandmother's house. The trees peered out of a gloom of night. I thought back about 8 or 10 years, when the trees were monsters and i expected giants and bears to come crashing out of them. I always have ahad a bit of a wild imagination, even before i could read. As i stared thoughtfully into the darkness, System singing in my ears, i noticed that it was still mid-sunset. Half of the sky was blue-black while the other half was a beautiful blood red. Suddenly lightening flashed, cutting through both of them. I thought to my self, there's as fine line between hope and despair...and cutting it would bring disaster... Rain continued to fall, i was thinking how much rain always reminds me of tears. THat sort of weather always seemed to make people sad, while i enjoyed rain and storms...about as much as sunlight and blue skys. What i seem to enjoy the most is the calm before the storm, so i can enjoy twirling around and dancing in the rain that i'd been waiting for. Lightening flashed, filling the night's sky with unwanted light. I sat upright in my seat, eyes growing wide. The lightening had caught me by suprise, and i'm sure i gave a bit of a squeak when i saw it. I sat back again, contemplating what CD to listen to next, daydreaming all the stuff i daydream about (i'm sure you'd want to know, but that's fer me to know and you to find out *sticks out tongue*), thinking...wondering... Then i recognized a familiar path, a familiar river, we were almost there. I closed my eyes, then opened them as we drove down the road, past the houses that sat there, inhabitants inside catching up on sleep or their lives. My eyes fixed on my grandmother's house, glowing warmly in the rain. I saw a figure move from the kitchen to the front door and grinned, i was there. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* As we drove home i looked out the window, we'd left after it was dark and mom was driving so i couldn't read or write anything. All i could do was listen to my music(thought not too loud) and look outside. The car glowed with the light of my dad's laptop in the front seat, and his phone which Andy and i passed to each other so we could play solitaire. During on long wait i glanced out the window and saw a sliver of the moon lighting up the sky. It was a waxing crescent, one of my favourite moon phases. I wondered how much my life would change or be different if i had a boyfriend(i've always been a dreamer). I'd never really thought about it except for when one of my best friends got a boyfriend, and when (recently) i thought about *cough cough* someone... For one i 'd pity the guy, i'd forget our anniversaries and would be busy on the days we wanted to be together, talk far too much about anime and manga, plus he'd have to listen to me hum the main theme of Jin Roh every other day. But still, what would it be like to tell someone your biggest secrets...greatest fears...? To be hugged and loved for who i am...and be kissed all i wanted...to play "hard to get" and give into my childlikeness...when i want to run around the school building, kicking something, anything, as i run around school...play hide-and-go-seek...and have fun and laugh, making clues along the way to let hijm know where i am... But i don't NEED a boyfriend, i'm perfectly peachy with what i have...though i don't know what that is yet... I have so many things i want to do in my life...get married, have kids, rule the world (hehehe!), live in many different countries, travel EVERYWHERE, learn as many languages that i can, become an animator, be a manga-ka, have a lot of pets, call my husband Inu Yasha and expect to be called one of my many names in return (i can't name 'em all)... Nichts ist für dich nichts war für dich nicths bleibt für dich für immer... I want to be free...free to make the choices i want to make in life...to be free from the bars of the prison of my childhood...to be free from the ridiculous rules my parents lay down for me to obey...to be free from my family...i just...wannn be free... I know i'll never be free though, first the parents then the government then my husband and kids...the only time i'll ever be free will be in my Father's house, when i step up to His alter as His unworthy bride...i who have murdered and committed adultry and haven't been able to keep my Father's commandments...i am and will be His child and bride...and i will be free... Sie stehen eng umschlungen ein Fleischgemisch so reich an Tagen wo das Meer das Land berührt will sie ihm die Wahrheit sagen Doch ihre Worte frisst der Wind wo das Meer zu Ende ist hält sie zitternd seine Hand und hat ihn auf die Stirn geküsst sie trägt den Abend in der Brust und weiss dass sie verleben muss sie legt den Kopf in seinen Schoss und bittet einen letzten Kuss und dann hat er sie geküsst wo das Meer zu Ende ist ihre Lippen schwach und blaß und seine Augen werden naß Der letzte Kuss ist so lang her der letzte Kuss er erinnert sich nicht mehr |
|
| Post A Comment |
|
starstruck | 04-06-03 2:14pm I can so relate, but as much as I love to write, I don't think I have the capability to express my thoughts that beautifully. Now having a bf isn't all its chalked up to be, unless my some miracle you've found a "right" guy. That's right, not 'the', but 'a'... |
Shinigami | Re:, 04-06-03 4:11pm Soo desu yo. |
miwako-chan | 04-06-03 6:29pm I feel the same way about the boyfriend thingie Katie.... *blushes thinking of *cough cough* who she has cried with and told secrets to... |
Shinigami | Re:, 04-07-03 1:33am BTW, I really like the story. :) |
Sike-a-delic_Grasshopper | 04-07-03 9:48am Wow. Deep.... |