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| rachel (profile) wrote, on 4-15-2003 at 7:47pm | |
| Current mood: thoughtful Music: linkin park: by myself Subject: I put on my daily façade... |
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| hmm.. lots going on. the whole chris/bus ppl situation... let me just say that while i am not taking sides (as ususal... i like to be fair) name calling is never appropriate. and some of the things that have been said are very childish... i just feel that the whole situation is blown out of proportion.. okay enough on that. next matter... jessie im in one of your modes. lol.. i feel like i am really misunderstood. today rich said that "rachel, by definition, is sad" um... no. lately i have had some issues that didnt make me feel too great, but i am not a sad person. i got kinda pissed at him.. cause there's more to me than this girl whos always crying over nothing. i tend to keep my feelings inside.. because i basically dont want to be sad all the time and think about stuff... and what can i say... i just dont feel like opening up. so then every little emotion... every feeling.. every little thing that people say to or about me.. gets tucked away inside me and they eventually build up... and i have to let them out. which would explain me crying when theres no apparent reason. i cant help it.. it all overwhelms me. everyone always asking me if im okay really doesnt help either. yeah.. haha funny i have pouty lips. yes that does make me look sad.. but being CONSTANTLY asked whats wrong just reminds me that im not okay... and it just makes things worse. im gonna start trying to write stuff down in my journal (written one) cause until i feel that i can open up to people.. i need a way to let my feelings out. and guys... this is nothing against you. you're all the best.. so dont feel bad because i dont open up to you. i just need to deal with this stuff on my own.. i've got a lot of growing to do. i WILL be okay... i want to be better... its just gonna take some time. next... we gotta get together this weekend and 1.) Film "The Spring" 2.) Have a water war in the woods 3.) Go Beaching 4.) Possibly go to Rapids (?) 5.) Try to scare Natalia yet again sounds like fun! lol if anything ill be happy just going to the beach a couple of times and renewing my ever-fading tan. okie dokie.. i shall leave now.. toodles. |
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Jessieful | hey pouty lips! lol, 04-15-03 9:38pm hey hun uh yea... go beachin.. k... n see mr todd.. just call me i guess.. u know me.. i'm a freak.. don't like to ask.um yeah so writin things down helps.. as u informed me it's the only way u guys know how i feel (except for alex) and the more i let my mind ramble on the more i find out about myself... wierd eh? well u may have growin to do, don't we all, but u atleast know who YOU are... and that's so good... n e who.. yea my modes suck don't they? psh.. n e ways... i guess i'll go b 4 this turns out as long as my recent entries... lol bye bye. love ya. o yea when i said what people said about me hurt i didn't mean what u say or atleast what i hear u say... the anerexia and bulimia shyt.. i don't mind it.. it's funny to me... and when i said i can't open up to people wel i can't but again i didn't mean i can't open up to u... cuz i can it's just i don't want to put my problems on u when u have ur own to deal w/ y aknow? sorry hun... didn't mean to sound like i didn't trust u or n e thing... love ya! |
Lizzy | 04-15-03 9:57pm i'm sorry rachie. everyone's stupid. next time some1 asks u if you're sad bitch slap them lol. mucho amor....<3 |
Karit_Top | 04-16-03 10:35pm rachel, i thought it would brighten up your day. im sry if i have ever annoyed you about what was wrong. im sry. i care for you. lol. natalia slaps people for bugs. |
rachel | Re:, 04-17-03 10:34am lol its okay.. i was just in one of those moods. yes, natalia like beat us up for a few mosquitoes... weird... lol |
| Karit_Top | Re: Re:, 04-17-03 10:51am ok, just didnt want you pissed at me. ta ta for now |
cabinetofcuriosities | 04-17-03 12:23pm sorry! martha stewart...yes i am a boca bitch now. now instead of asking if you're sad i'll just ask you how are you this fine perculiar day |