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| kit_katt (profile) wrote, on 4-15-2003 at 9:48pm | |
| Current mood: I hate my life, satisfied? Music: I wish I were the rain- SheDaisy Subject: Christian Punk? Yeah....right, more like broken punk. Are you happy now Nate? |
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| I'm sick of feeling inadequate. I really am. I feel as if no one cares about who I truely am, and can love me for that. And I want to say that I hate Nate so much, but I can't, because I know that it would be wrong. But I can't understand how someone could be so cruel, and enjoy it so much. My home, which used to be a safe haven whenever I felt my life being torn apart, is only making it worse. My mother expects me to be everything Staci was, and everything she wasn't, my brother, well he's just my brother, what else is there to say? School....sucks. Connie thinks that I'm some sort of heartless freak all because she won't take to minutes and actually pay attention to what I have to say. And I think that liking girls is SICK!!!! (sorry, had to get that out of my system). So yeah, Nate's taking his sweet time to ruin my life at school, my mother and brother are taking their sweet time in ruining my life at home. So now what? I read my message in a bottle from Nick earlier, when I was already almost in tears, and that helped a little, even though I can't depend on even him like I used to be able to, because I screwed that up too. In all honesty, Brianna is the only one who comes close to making me feel like an actual person, well I suppose Crystal too, even though she doesn't understand my religion, she at least tries. Everyone else has either had a fall out, or lives to far away. *sigh* so what's the point? God. I suppose that's it for now. And maybe the chance that I can become better then my sister in my mother's eyes, and actually become an indivigual, instead of a shadow. No one. Anyone can die, but it takes true courage to live on. |
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Shinigami | 04-15-03 10:25pm I know we've fallen out and have somewhatly drifted, but you can call me at any time and I can be at your house in 10 minutes. Don't hesitate, just do it. |
| Lavitz1985 | Re:, 04-16-03 10:29am Give the word, and I'll join her in a hearbeat. You know we love you Kate, don't forget it. *hugs* Let me know what to do to help... because I'm not very good at figuring it out for myself... I'm sorry. |
kit_Katt | Re: Re:, 04-16-03 9:22pm Its okay you guys. I was (and still am slightly) frusterated and confused. But God gave me a few good bumps in the head, so I'm a little straitened out now.
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Brianna | 04-18-03 9:58am Kate, i just want to remind you once again that I love you and not in the way that Nate thinks I do. I emailed you and I hope that you read it. Thank you for everything.
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