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| rockon14 (profile) wrote, on 4-27-2003 at 2:30pm | |
| Current mood: i'm half in half, half pissed, half sad, and half Music: You don't know this man |
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| So here are the events of prom day which is not as upseting as it was before. So I got up and did all those girl things that you do in order to get ready. Got my hair done. My step-mom forced me to paint my nails pink despite the fact that my dress was blue. Overall, I was in a pretty okay mood until 4pm. Then 4 roles around and Parks isn't there. Deep in my stomach I knew he wasn't going to show up but I just kept on wishing that he would. 4:30 came and Cory and Alyssa came. This was when I nearly started crying. Cory kept on telling me, "Maybe he's late." It was a nice attempt but I knew that wasn't it. So they left and I waited in the dress until 6. Then I figured "what's the point, he's not gonna come" so i took a shower. While in the shower my step-mom started yelling through the door about how she had wasted over $600 and how I should have gone on without him. Well, I figured I didn't want to go there and cry all night when i could do it in the comfort of my own home. She stopped yelling when i started to cry and just said "i'm sorry you got your heart broken." We had pizza for dinner and i came to get something to eat in my pjs. My dad could tell i was upset so he just put his arm around me and told me everything was gonna be okay. This was when I lost it because Amber asked, "why isn't bekie at the prom?" Nikie was like "I told you not to say that!" and i couldn't stop crying so i went back to bed. later on i came back and ate something and got online because that was the point where i just need to talk to someone who would understand, but i knew all my friends were at prom. So I was on for a while when out of nowhere someone instant messages me. I'm thinking it's probably someone i'm not gonna want to talk to. This proves that God is always looking out for me because it was Rachael (Parks' ex-girlfriend.) and she wanted to know if I was going to be okay. She just let me vent about it and was there for me in this amazing way. I seriously don't know how i could ever thank her enough. Well after that I was feeling much better and went to bed. Tim called at 11 wanting to know how i was and that got me crying again but eventually i was able to sleep. Now on to today. I woke up and was feeling icky so i just got dressed for church and then waited in the car. When i got to youth someone asked me how i was and i started crying again. All this time my step-mom was upstairs telling everyone "Don't ask Bekie about prom! She had a really bad night." So Mrs. Jan had to walk me upstairs while I was crying. I told her I was gonna be okay i just needed to wash my face. While I was in the bathroom Mrs. Debb came in and huged me and told me that it didn't matter what that boy had done that God loved me and that she loved me too and everything would be alright. Then she was like "You wanna hear a joke?" and I said "Okay" and she was like "So there's a preist and a rabbi...I don't really know this joke so we're just gonna make it up as we go along..." She made me laugh and I felt much better after that. I loooove the people at church because they took my mind off of everything. Jessica and I had to sing a duet and that went off much better than I had thought it would. So i'm feeling much better and I am able to talk about it without crying so I know things are getting better. If Parks does call I've decided i'm not going to answer the phone. I'm just gonna let my dad pick up and share with him the feeling that's he's developed towards him since last night (ha!) And yes, i'm still the same old evil Bekie because throughout my sorrow I continued to think "Man, I wish I could drive so I really could castrate him. He don't deserve a penis!" I love the people in my life who have helped me through this so far. ahhh, it's still good. |
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ataz15 | 04-27-03 7:40pm hey ill gladly drive you over to his house to do some "CUTING" hehe |
| Anonymous | 04-27-03 10:41pm You're welcome, sweetie. You know my IM name if you ever need to vent again..
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HipHulaGirl | 04-30-03 12:51pm I heart my Bekie. |