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| sendmemoney (profile) wrote, on 4-28-2003 at 2:00pm | |
| Current mood: inspired Music: john mayer - your body is a wonderland |
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| i want to slit my wrists but i don’t know how to do it without dying , and if you die , what’s the point ? because then you can’t watch them bleed . life is so fucking beautiful sometimes , but the kind of beautiful that’s sometimes unreal and grotesque , like a supermodel who deprived herself of one too many meals or a painting that’s been replicated one time too many and is grainy and faded with age and artificiality . it’s ironic and wonderful and hideously delightful , and it all depends how wasted you are if you want to see reality at its finest . i’m looking for someone right now , but i don’t know who . or i know who , but i don’t know why , because the worst kind of rejection is the one where you have no plea bargain , and nobody cares to hear you argue your case , so you stand before the judge , hands dropped to your sides in a show of submission before anybody who cares to try and pin the blame on you . and you shout “I’m innocent!” but they already have you painted in their minds as the guilty party , the defendant , and the condescending smiles irritate you to tears that they see as an admission of remorse . those damn condescending smiles . the freezing hot smiles , like when you touch a stove and for a minute you begin to wonder why something that boils water can be so cold , until your reflexes kick in with jarring effect and you pull your hand away and remind yourself to never look in that direction again . | |
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songsoffreedom | 04-28-03 2:21pm amazing
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