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TaoMan1121 (profile) wrote,
on 5-1-2003 at 12:22am
Current mood: melancholy
Music: Dashboard Confessional - Remember To Breathe
I have these nights that are filled with this intense quasi-depression, but it's not really that sad, and at the same time I have these negative feelings, I am relishing in all the good in my life. Today left me unfulfilled. I wanted to spend more time with Stef. Now she's in bed, I don't want to wake her. I wanted to spend more time with Fras. Now he's at home, and I don't like showing weakness in front of him; I'm too much of a guy when I'm around him. Instead, I'm here with my oyster crackers, my Code Red, and Dashboard Confessional. I talk about how much I don't want to be alone right now, but in truth, I think I revel in these moods, relishing and taking everything in. I wish I wasn't so noglastic. I have this desire to do something I haven't done in a very long time. I have no idea what. I don't know, I could go on, but I'm going to post before my stupid computer freezes up again.
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polishpimping

05-01-03 10:54am

It's times like this that I wish I was a head shrinker. But since I'm not, I have to use some country psychology.

SHUT THE HELL UP! You wanted to spend more time with your friend and girlfriend? Yeah don't we all.
Apretiate the fact you have a friend you can spend time with, a wonderful girlfriend, and some damn oyster crackers. I have none of those. You know what my highlight of last night was for me? Watching American Idol with my parents!

Do you know what I would be doing right now if I were you?

Smiling...

Don't waste it

(reply to this)

TaoMan1121

Re:, 05-01-03 2:51pm

Ahh, tough love... Mike, I do appreciate all the good things in my life, I even mentioned that in my entry, see "I am relishing in all the good in my life." I don't think depression was the right word for last night... noglastia is a better term. I was just having a slightly co-dependent night last night... no that's not it either. I guess I just didn't want to go home right away last night, it was an all-nighter kind of evening. But in retrospect, it was probably best I did go home, as that way I was able to avoid that typhoon last night.

As for smiling, I'm working on it, I really am. I've actually smiled a lot in the past couple of days.

Country psychology... hehe, that's funny. Good one, Mike.

(reply to comment)

polishpimping

Re: Re:, 05-01-03 3:49pm

Well part of the problem is in "country psychology" noglastia is soooo not a word.

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