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| brad (profile) wrote, on 5-9-2003 at 11:27pm | |
| once again its been a while. as you all know bruce said checkers is done with, andy was right, we werent gonna make it. i should have figured though..that i wasnt even gonna be concidered in the fact of breaking up the band. i didnt have one god damn thing to say about the whole thing. its complete bullshit. from everything ive heard dusty's an ass hole even talking shit about me. ive never said anything bad about him but i guess he just dont care. i guess ill just have to see what happens with this whole thing with me and josh gates. my fucking phone finally got connected today, its about god damn time. today has been totally gay, nothing good has really happened. all i did was run about 1.4 miles down the road and then mr. sabinas drove by and picked me up and we drove down another road and saw josh so we picked him up too. i joined cross country so thats why im running. i need something in my life. no more band. no girls. nothing. i have no life anymore. all these little girls like me but i dont let them matter. theres just one thing i want to get out but cant. god im such a loser, im sure all of you agree. im chasing something ill never reach also chasing for a life but that aint working neither. im sick of being surrounded by complete morons. in person i act all goofy and shit but its all just to make myself look happy and cheerful. i was just sick of always looking depressed so i just hide it. sometimes it shows but i just cant help it. today in my 4th hour i realized how stupid people sound when they try to argue with someone that knows so much more than them. some people just dont think logical sometimes. i still cant get over the whole band thing. robby and dusty and kevin are all so stupid for just breaking up the band like that. i know i had no part in the break up thats for a fact. im sure robby and kevin want to start something new but im sure they arent even concidering me. i was just the extra guy in the band to make "them" sound better. i was disposable, they can so easily kill my hopes without a care. ill always be chasing that impossible dream. i always have been, ill never make it to the big times, i dont know who i was kidding before. i was never gonna make it. i just cant find anyone with the need for it like i do. someday...someday. i want to be with people who actually care about me and dont treat me like shit all the time. i dont even know what else to say now, satisfied andy? you were right. well, im off. Brad |
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durin | 05-09-03 11:54pm we all have our hopes and dreams that arnt accomplishable. |