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| brad (profile) wrote, on 5-9-2003 at 11:27pm | |
| Current mood: depressed Subject: i hate everyone |
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| once again its been a while. as you all know bruce said checkers is done with, andy was right, we werent gonna make it. i should have figured though..that i wasnt even gonna be concidered in the fact of breaking up the band. i didnt have one god damn thing to say about the whole thing. its complete bullshit. from everything ive heard dusty's an ass hole even talking shit about me. ive never said anything bad about him but i guess he just dont care. i guess ill just have to see what happens with this whole thing with me and josh gates. my fucking phone finally got connected today, its about god damn time. today has been totally gay, nothing good has really happened. all i did was run about 1.4 miles down the road and then mr. sabinas drove by and picked me up and we drove down another road and saw josh so we picked him up too. i joined cross country so thats why im running. i need something in my life. no more band. no girls. nothing. i have no life anymore. all these little girls like me but i dont let them matter. theres just one thing i want to get out but cant. god im such a loser, im sure all of you agree. im chasing something ill never reach also chasing for a life but that aint working neither. im sick of being surrounded by complete morons. in person i act all goofy and shit but its all just to make myself look happy and cheerful. i was just sick of always looking depressed so i just hide it. sometimes it shows but i just cant help it. today in my 4th hour i realized how stupid people sound when they try to argue with someone that knows so much more than them. some people just dont think logical sometimes. i still cant get over the whole band thing. robby and dusty and kevin are all so stupid for just breaking up the band like that. i know i had no part in the break up thats for a fact. im sure robby and kevin want to start something new but im sure they arent even concidering me. i was just the extra guy in the band to make "them" sound better. i was disposable, they can so easily kill my hopes without a care. ill always be chasing that impossible dream. i always have been, ill never make it to the big times, i dont know who i was kidding before. i was never gonna make it. i just cant find anyone with the need for it like i do. someday...someday. i want to be with people who actually care about me and dont treat me like shit all the time. i dont even know what else to say now, satisfied andy? you were right. well, im off. Brad |
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durin | 05-10-03 12:01am eh....work for it, and it can be accomplished. |
durin | 05-10-03 12:01am eh....work for it, and it can be accomplished. |
andy | 05-10-03 12:18am no. not satisfied. i'm happy for you and glad that you're starting to realize these things so that you can make something of yourself. i think cross country was a good move for you. keep with it.
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brad | Re:, 05-10-03 12:27am that kind of means alot to me coming from you andy. i never wanted to have trouble with you. i know that i need more to my life than just what i want or what i think is gonna be some big great thing for me. the last time ive been in any extracaricular was about 3rd or 4th grade, and i played baseball. of course i sucked cuz im not really a sport guy but im gonna really try to do well in cross country. i want to prove to everyone that i can do more than sit on my ass all day and be a loser. i knew you were right all along i just didnt want to admit to your being right. i really respect you andy and i hope you achieve whatever it is your trying to do with your life. |
andy | Re: Re:, 05-10-03 12:32am my life is going no where. i graduate in a few weeks and i have nothing planned. all my life i've had goals and dreams. and then the day comes, and none of them seem reasonable anymore. i don't see myself supporting a living.
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brad | Re: Re: Re:, 05-10-03 12:39am im sure you'll find some way to get through all the tough spots in your life. most people dont have plans right when they graduate, some just wanna keep their options open for a while. hopefully you'll have luck with your future. |
rayray | 05-10-03 11:24am Things will get better.. Once you hit rock bottom, the only way to go, is up. Just think happy thoughts.. and maybe some mental pictures.. Just think of all the good things. And dont let people get to ya.. And dont let anyone ruin your dreams.. Thats the worse thing you could do.. |
bigmac2244 | 05-10-03 12:14pm umm LITTLE girls? (-.-) |
| bigmac2244 | Re:, 05-10-03 1:35pm thats not what you thought at the time there, bradley |
Star_Gazer05 | 05-10-03 8:49pm I think it gay that you didnt get to have any say in the whole "break up" thing. You were has much a part of that band then any of them. I feel ya there. And I'm sorry to hear about it as well. Brad, I can truely say that I believe in you, you have talent I think, talent that will get you far. You just have to believe in yourself and push for your dream because, damn it, you can be great! I believe in you and I bet a lot of other people believe in you as well. You got to make things happen for yourself and you will have some failures but you just need to take those as things that you need to work on for next time. Also, I think its awsome you joined the cross team! You'll be a jock now! HAHA just kidding! I hope everything start to look up for you soon and dont worry about the girls. You have tons of time for them! Plus its fun to be single nad be about to flirt woithout having to be worried about gettin in trouble! Dont forget that I'm on your side and I'm here if you need to talk or "get away" from it all! TTYL!
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brad | Re:, 05-11-03 3:34pm hey, thanks for the support julie, and of course ill help you out wendsday. its always good to have someone on your side helping you. and tasha, i was talking about now-.- i didnt feel like this when me and you were together so i think you have it wrong. dont even go and get pissed at me. anyway im gonna go, bye all. |
| bigmac2244 | Re: Re:, 05-11-03 7:34pm im not pissed i was just shocked! |
Star_Gazer05 | 05-10-03 8:52pm Ohh and also, dont forget about Wednesday after school. I hope you'll still help me out.
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jim9nin | Re:, 05-10-03 10:22pm Hey brad i was the kid who came over to tj's when you where over there. Just sayin you should listen to raych. It's really good advice. |
lookatmemynameisdustin | 05-10-03 10:53pm yeah fuck dusty....i hope he gets the "VD" |