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| mle (profile) wrote, on 6-20-2002 at 10:43am | |
| Current mood: alone Music: jewel, nine days, creed Subject: |
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god, i dont even know what to say. where to start. i keep thinking back to one stupid question on that survey from sports physicals: do you have at least one good friend you feel you can trust and talk to? no hesitation: of course, everyone has friends, duh. but now i catch myself. i have to think twice, reconsider. ive lost the 2 people i loved the most and vice versa. im used to it w/ mark- hes still a child and our relationship has always been rocky and irradicate. hes not ready to take on maturity and give up naivety. and i dumped on him more than necessary. he'll come back sometime. it always works that way. but now it seems ive lost her too. she was the last thing i had. in my mind, she was always near and unchanged from times when we were so close. but in reality, she was fading fast. unconsiously, i helped her fade. i got in a fight w/ gerald last night. i flipped at him, and naturally, i wouldnt talk to him about whats goin on. "theyre not your friends if they treat you like that" like what? its not the way they treat me. im just upset. it goes away. i thought i found the road to somewhere somewhere in his grace (creed - one last breath) i think i found the road to a fuckin island. i keep getting lost. mle |
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drunkslut | 06-20-02 4:07pm ok~im sorry! you know, as well as i do now, that you didnt deserve it! i went back and read it today and it came off way too defensive! im really sorry! i was really upset and youre response pissed me off so it ALL came out at you! that wasnt right of me at all and i sincerely apologize! please dont take offense! i dont need that right now~as im sure that you didnt need that backlash from bitchy, fucked up old me!
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| mle | Re:, 06-20-02 5:44pm its ok. i was totally confused for a while. but im kinda guilty too. my computer being retarded makes me rewrite 1/2 the shit on here and emails 2, sometimes 3-5 times. so the end result is watered down or i just give up and say fuck it. my first response was not a pretty one. you got a pg-rated version :) im sorry too. i was just so upset that youd... idk. whatever. its settled, and im the kinda person to plot murder one minute and express my undying love the next, so its all good w/ me.
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