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| TaoMan1121 (profile) wrote, on 5-20-2003 at 1:15am | |
| Current mood: tired Music: Counting Crows - Amy Hit The Atmosphere Subject: things are getting worse, but I feel a lot better, and that's all that really matters to me... |
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| Hmm... after my pep talk entry today, I was surfing online and discovered some stuff on WebMD, and now I'm fully convinced that I have OCD. The only decision left is what to do about it. Do I continue to try and cope by myself or do I concede and seek help? I think either way I'm going to talk to my mom, ask for some advice, and possibly have her contact Terry to set up an appointment or find me somebody. I've just been so stubborn for so long about this, thinking I could deal with it, and now I'm questioning that. To me, it seems like the first time you get glasses. Once you put them on for the first time you realize how you are really supposed to see the world. I'm just surmising all of this, I realize this. I picked up a few books at the library today about OCD and Buddhist meditation techniques, so I'm going to give the self-help rountine one last go. I also read a study about St. John's Wort as a possibly effective treatment for it, so I picked up some of that as well today. Don't really expect it to have a profound effect, but I figure it can't hurt anything. I remained optimistic for a good portion of the day, but what was most disheartening today was one of the symptoms I was reading about today was the drive to overcome the disability, only to fail and slip back into the same patterns of behavior and thought. I know my situation is not that severe, and it may not be having profoundly affecting my life, but there is an effect there, and I am on this whole "better myself" kick as of late, and my progress elsewhere is definitely reinforcing. I wish I knew what was really going on with her. It just seems like she's holding so much back, and only offering me scraps when I really bother her about it. I just feel so in the dark about the situation. She hasn't been herself for a little while now. I want to help, I just need to know how. "Well, Amy hit the atmosphere Caught herself a rocket ride out of this gutter And she's never coming back I fear" |
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goldberry | 05-20-03 9:30pm |
| goldberry | Re:, 05-20-03 9:35pm Hmmm...isn't that "cryptic" of me?
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