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Jessika (profile) wrote,
on 5-20-2003 at 4:39pm
Current mood: very bad....
Music: my brains own silence which is so loud...
so i stay, in my pain...please god make this go away...forever stranded in this rain...no i dont feel ok....-i found those lyrics and thought they were kool sounding so i adopted them. i thought more about them..they reelly say how i seem to feel alot. i thank the person i found them from. i am now goin to keep them. i have been saying good bye to ppl i choose not to have contacts with anymore. i am keeping very few...if i dont say bye(i prolly will not to anyone who reads this) then it means i DO consider u to be my friend deep down. there is one person i choose to say bye to in person, and give a huge hug, but that is not reelly possible so i will just keep out of contact and avoid that person as much as possible. i found out i am able to cry again today. it does not hurt extreniously anymore, although i almost wish it did. i must go now.....
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Anonymous

oh jes jess, 05-20-03 8:57pm

when I say this u probably say in ur head"you only think you do"but jess jes..I know how this is..just read my journal..I want to be able to help you..even thoguh we're not very close..I wish we were just so I would be able to tell you it'll all b gone someday..even if it takes years,and I know..it sucks having to wait that long..but think about later on in life

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Jessika

Re: oh jes jess, 05-21-03 12:13am

u have no idea how much that made me cry....

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Anonymous

Re: Re: oh jes jess, 05-21-03 12:18am

I'm sorry..It wasn't meant to make you cry..It was meant to let you know that I care.

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Jessika

Re: Re: Re: oh jes jess, 05-21-03 12:23am

yes, yes, that is partially y i was cryin....it was sad but happy at the same time, and whenever i have attempted to read it again, something triggers me and it all starts....it also helped that i had shane read it. he gave me a hug. as little as that helped, it also did a great deal. nobody will never no quite how i work...not even i do at times....

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Anonymous

Re: Re: Re: Re: oh jes jess, 05-21-03 12:26am

Oh hum..I know how that is actually..whenever someone told me they cared or when people wish I was better,It makes mecry..ALOT..oh poo now I'm cryen cause I dont want anyone feeling like me....or even remotely close

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Jessika

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: oh jes jess, 05-21-03 12:33am

i dont wanna make U cry too!!and ur not feelin like this now r u? if not, then im no xactly feelin like u....and i no want u too, kuz i dont like this, nope, not one bit!i better get this out so u kan read b4 u hafta go to bed.;)

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Anonymous

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: oh jes jess, 05-21-03 12:37am

Oh hum..I am depressed yes..but I dont believe to the extent that you are,but I am usually...like to a suicidal point..I want you be here wiff me

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Jessika

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: oh jes jess, 05-21-03 12:42am

i am depressed to a suicidal point much more than it seems ppl will seem to notice...im a goody goody who kan solve everyone elses problems so has none of my own. i reelly hate stereotypes :( and i wanna be there and not here now

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Anonymous

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: oh jes jess, 05-21-03 12:50am

ur mom a poophead...all sleepen so u cant come!!i grrrg at her

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Jessika

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: oh jes jess, 05-21-03 12:55am

i no, i no like my mommy too much but i feelin lots better than before =) i come tommorrow?

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Anonymous

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: oh jes jess, 05-21-03 12:59am

yes yes you come tomorrow.I make you..

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Jessika

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: oh jes jess, 05-21-03 1:01am

:D tank u soo much for evrything tonight...

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Anonymous

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: oh jes jess, 05-21-03 1:04am

yeppers..I always enjoy knowin I at least tryed to help..specially if I put a smile
or at least not a frown

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Anonymous

Hey, 05-21-03 3:43pm

Hey i hope you feel better, i dont really know what i can do to help... im glad that you appreitiate my lyrics ;)

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Jessika

Re: Hey, 05-21-03 4:48pm

i more overanalyzed....but yah..thanx.....

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