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Jessika (profile) wrote, on 5-20-2003 at 4:39pm | |
Current mood: very bad.... Music: my brains own silence which is so loud... |
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so i stay, in my pain...please god make this go away...forever stranded in this rain...no i dont feel ok....-i found those lyrics and thought they were kool sounding so i adopted them. i thought more about them..they reelly say how i seem to feel alot. i thank the person i found them from. i am now goin to keep them. i have been saying good bye to ppl i choose not to have contacts with anymore. i am keeping very few...if i dont say bye(i prolly will not to anyone who reads this) then it means i DO consider u to be my friend deep down. there is one person i choose to say bye to in person, and give a huge hug, but that is not reelly possible so i will just keep out of contact and avoid that person as much as possible. i found out i am able to cry again today. it does not hurt extreniously anymore, although i almost wish it did. i must go now..... | |
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Anonymous | oh jes jess, 05-20-03 8:57pm when I say this u probably say in ur head"you only think you do"but jess jes..I know how this is..just read my journal..I want to be able to help you..even thoguh we're not very close..I wish we were just so I would be able to tell you it'll all b gone someday..even if it takes years,and I know..it sucks having to wait that long..but think about later on in life |
Jessika | Re: oh jes jess, 05-21-03 12:13am u have no idea how much that made me cry.... |
Anonymous | Re: Re: oh jes jess, 05-21-03 12:18am I'm sorry..It wasn't meant to make you cry..It was meant to let you know that I care. |
Jessika | Re: Re: Re: oh jes jess, 05-21-03 12:23am yes, yes, that is partially y i was cryin....it was sad but happy at the same time, and whenever i have attempted to read it again, something triggers me and it all starts....it also helped that i had shane read it. he gave me a hug. as little as that helped, it also did a great deal. nobody will never no quite how i work...not even i do at times.... |
Anonymous | Re: Re: Re: Re: oh jes jess, 05-21-03 12:26am Oh hum..I know how that is actually..whenever someone told me they cared or when people wish I was better,It makes mecry..ALOT..oh poo now I'm cryen cause I dont want anyone feeling like me....or even remotely close |
Jessika | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: oh jes jess, 05-21-03 12:33am i dont wanna make U cry too!!and ur not feelin like this now r u? if not, then im no xactly feelin like u....and i no want u too, kuz i dont like this, nope, not one bit!i better get this out so u kan read b4 u hafta go to bed.;) |
Anonymous | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: oh jes jess, 05-21-03 12:37am Oh hum..I am depressed yes..but I dont believe to the extent that you are,but I am usually...like to a suicidal point..I want you be here wiff me |
Jessika | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: oh jes jess, 05-21-03 12:42am i am depressed to a suicidal point much more than it seems ppl will seem to notice...im a goody goody who kan solve everyone elses problems so has none of my own. i reelly hate stereotypes :( and i wanna be there and not here now |
Anonymous | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: oh jes jess, 05-21-03 12:50am ur mom a poophead...all sleepen so u cant come!!i grrrg at her |
Jessika | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: oh jes jess, 05-21-03 12:55am i no, i no like my mommy too much but i feelin lots better than before =) i come tommorrow? |
Anonymous | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: oh jes jess, 05-21-03 12:59am yes yes you come tomorrow.I make you.. |
Jessika | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: oh jes jess, 05-21-03 1:01am :D tank u soo much for evrything tonight... |
Anonymous | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: oh jes jess, 05-21-03 1:04am yeppers..I always enjoy knowin I at least tryed to help..specially if I put a smile
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Anonymous | Hey, 05-21-03 3:43pm Hey i hope you feel better, i dont really know what i can do to help... im glad that you appreitiate my lyrics ;) |
Jessika | Re: Hey, 05-21-03 4:48pm i more overanalyzed....but yah..thanx..... |