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shannonw55
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2005 8 September :: 5.17pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Third Eye Blind - Good For You
Does Mr. Jungkind have a southern accent? I swear he does!
Not that it's a bad thing or anything. He's so funny. :)
I'm debating whether or not I should stay in Algebra II. I've been studying as much as I can and everything. I'm just afraid I'm gonna fall behind if I don't put in 150%. But I don't feel like wasting a year in a freshman class (Algebra I) if I'm perfectly capable of taking this class. Today class was fairly easy, but I read ahead and I don't know anything else in the next chapter. I guess I'll learn. Anyway. I don't know.
So if you haven't heard my crazy story yet, I have mysteriously lost my blue folder with everything in it. I guess it doesn't really matter anymore, but it's so flipping weird. Like my bed ate it or something. "Mr. Babbitt... my bed ate my homework." Haha ok that was a really dumb one. But you know. It sucked because I had to re-do all my homework. This is going to be one difficult year. All of my classes are pretty overwhelming. Maybe I'm just being a wimp about it. That's about it about school. I miss my friends. Er.. well talking to my friends. Like, actually holding a conversation.
Well that's enough whining for today. Sorry about that. Darned school.
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shannonw55
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2005 6 September :: 5.29pm
:: Mood: cheerful
If you know what I'm talking about...
Mrs. Ryan reminds me of Mr. B with an evil plan...
And Mr. Jungkind is funny. That class will be fun.
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mle
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2005 6 September :: 11.02am
sometimes...
i wonder why i even bother to breathe.
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girlxunnoticd
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2005 1 September :: 11.02pm
so now i know where i stand. i don't know if i did the right thing but its too late to change anything now. i guess its for the best this way. who knows. things are too complicated and they're not getting any simpler.
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shannonw55
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2005 1 September :: 10.24pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: Third Eye Blind - London
Guess what's frooting awesome?!?!
My schedule is finally changed and I don't have Dolbee anymore. :)
At least for American Lit. So now I might actually have some classes with my friends. (That's not the reason it was changed.)
But anyway, this is my new schedule. Not that different.
Algebra II - Babbitt
Government - London
American Lit - Eilola
Spanish I - Ryan
Chemistry - Jungkind
Yearbook - Stark
Seminar - Dolbee
So now I have Yearbook with Jess (my sister) and lunch with Brandon. (my brother) So if I have any new classes with you that I didn't know about, and if you're not my sibling, lemme know.
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mle
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2005 31 August :: 11.08pm
:: Mood: . miserable .
:: Music: . third eye blind . good for you .
. long time no post .
yea. the RA life has been interesting, to say the least. more some other time, i suppose.
it's all in your mind, she said
the darkness and the light
. third eye blind . thanks a lot .
i'm not going to lie - it's been a struggle to get through each day. especially since RA training started 2 weeks ago. especially since classes started 2 days ago.
i'm completely miserable.
and lonely.
and a failure at anything i could ever possibly think of.
i was telling marcus earlier... every single positive thing that's happened has had a negative thing follow immediately.
por ejemplo: my brother mentor (RA), rob, is an awesome guy. totally cool, helpful, etc. we talk a few times a day and eat together almost every day. but the more i talk to him, the worse i feel about myself and my life. he just seems to have everything together, seems to be in control, to have it made. he's got loads of friends, keeps in contact w/ tons of people from high school, smart, spirited, spiritual, cute, athletic. blah blah blah. me? oh yea - i'm that worthless blob that sits in her room all day, wavering back and forth whether or not she can sneak the door shut and cry herself into yet another nap.
i feel like my entire existence is leaning on marcus.
sure, i talk to ken a little. but i haven't in a while.
and based upon his reaction when he told me that one of our mutual friends almost pulled the trigger earlier in the year.. i have a feeling he'd freak if i told him that i think about it every day.
every
single
day.
i tried talking to my mom a week or so back. just played it as homesickness (which it kinda is).
she kinda freaked out too. then changed the topic uncomfortably.
i can't seem to help it. i have no reason to feel happy.
i hate where i'm at in life, and i hate myself.
and reading about suicide for my social relations class isn't helping.
"if life is not worth the trouble of being lived, everything becomes a pretext to rid ourselves of it."
that first part hit me hard
"if life is not worth the trouble of being lived..."
i'm pretty sure that point's already been passed... a few miles back, in fact.
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shannonw55
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2005 29 August :: 2.19pm
:: Mood: distressed
:: Music: Further Seems Forever - The Moon Is Down
Has anyone ever seen the movie "Little Black Book" with Brittany Murphy?
I've never cried so much over a movie in my life. I'm almost a little embarrassed about it. It was a great movie. It really upset me.
Just wanted to let you know. That's all.
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shannonw55
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2005 28 August :: 2.35pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Enough
For some reason powerschool switched my schedule.
I now have Dolbee 2nd hour instead of Eilola. Everything else is the same. It sucks.
Did your's change?
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girlxunnoticd
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2005 27 August :: 6.41pm
i thought this year would be better. i thought i tried harder. i had a more positive attitude. but i'm sitting here in my room alone on a saturday night waiting for something or someone thats just not coming. i've realized that now. all this hope i had was for nothing. i'm afraid that whoever might be trying to find me isn't even looking. so i have to ask, are there worse things than being alone?
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shannonw55
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2005 26 August :: 5.28pm
:: Mood: annoyed
Ahh...
My mom is dropping me off at the football game at 6:30... Is anyone coming early?
Rawr. I wish I could drive.
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shannonw55
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2005 24 August :: 12.54pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Hootie and the Blowfish - Hold My Hand
Ahhh I love surprises. :)
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girlxunnoticd
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2005 18 August :: 3.38am
i'm not crying this time because i feel used. i'm crying because i'm going to miss him. with all of its ups and downs i'm still glad this summer happened. and i'm still going to pray that someday we may be together because i love him. i just can't help it.
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shannonw55
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2005 17 August :: 11.30am
:: Mood: good
It's my sister's birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STEF!!
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girlxunnoticd
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2005 14 August :: 11.10pm
wishing on a million stars wouldn't make a difference.
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shannonw55
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2005 14 August :: 10.46pm
:: Mood: proud
:: Music: Seether/Amy Lee - Broken
I fixed MSN. :)
And I didn't mess up at youth group. :D
And I had a good time. Hooray!
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