You've Already Labeled Me

I am:
A little bit of loneliness,
A little bit of disregard.
A handful of complaints,
But I can't help the fact...
That everyone can see these scars.

I am:
What I want you to want,
What I want you to feel.
But it's like no matter what I do,
I can't convince you...
To just believe this is real.

So I:
Let go, watching you.
Turn your back like you always do.
Face away and pretend that I'm not,
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I got.

I can't feel...
The way I did before.
Don't turn your back on me,
I won't be ignored.
Time won't take,
This damage anymore.
Don't turn your back on me...
I won't be ignored.

I am:
A little bit insecure,
A little unconfident.
'Cause you don't understand-
I do what I can.
But sometimes I don't make sense.

I am:
What you never want to say,
But I've never had a doubt.
It's like no matter what I do,
I can't convince you...
For once just to hear me out.

So I:
Let go, watching you.
Turn your back like you always do.
Face away and pretend that I'm not,
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I got.

I can't feel...
The way I did before.
Don't turn your back on me,
I won't be ignored.
Time won't take,
This damage anymore.
Don't turn your back on me...
I won't be ignored.

NOW!
Hear me out NOW!
You're gonna listen to me, like it or not.
Right NOW!
Hear me out NOW!
You're going to listen to me, like it or not.
Right now...

I can't feel,
The way I did before..
Don't turn your back on me...
I won't be IGNORED

I can't feel...
The way I did before.
Don't turn your back on me,
I won't be ignored.
Time won't take,
This damage anymore.
Don't turn your back on me...
I won't be ignored.


 

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acidtears

:: 2009 20 March :: 1.00am
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: "Eyes on Fire" by: Blue Foundation

Bleh Bleh Bleh.
Well, I hope everyone had a good St. Patrick's Day. I didn't get to drink, I went to Physical Therapy though. It was the worst appointment of them all. I had a different lady doing my arm stretching. She put me in so much pain, it was ridiculous. Then my friend Jesse came over yesterday and he forgot about my arm completely, and he got a bit too rambuncious and was shaking my arm and grabbing at my shoulder. So, my arm felt like it had a pulse after that. It was just throbbing and ice was not doing anything for it. Just giving me shivers. It's a little better today though. But, I also want to thank Jenny again for taking me to my appointment. THANK YOU JENNY! :] HaHa. But, the weekend will be here shortly and I plan on going out and having fun. I also did some organizing in my room earlier. I felt very productive. I cleaned the dining room and folded laundry, then continued with the sudden burst of energy up to my room. Where I switched out some pictures that were in frames, hung my dresses up, cleaned/organized some of the junk under my bed, organized my books, etc. It was amazing how much I did actually. I was pretty impressed with myself. HaHa. But, I haven't had much going on since I updated last. It's been a sort of boring week. So, I'm going to end this entry here due to having no life and therefore nothing to write about. HaHa. Bye.

-Samm

Rip it Away


acidtears

:: 2009 11 March :: 3.10pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: "Halo" By: Beyonce

Arts and Crafts like never before
Lately I have felt nothing but the want and need to paint. I don't really want to paint on paper, but it's been more directed to wooden craft kits. And a lamp. I painted a wooden spring decoration that has a dragonfly, butterfly, and some flowers on it. It's hanging on our front door. Then I also painted an Easter decoration. It has a Banner that I painted baby blue then I painted "Happy Easter" on it and in the craft kit came three wooden shapes of carrots. I painted those and I put it all together. That will be on our front door when Easter gets closer. Mom's very proud of the job I did. She told me the Easter one looks as though a professional did it. Then Yesterday we went to The Serice Center, and I got a black desk lamp and painted it. The theme of the painting/colours on it are the Sea/Ocean. I painted Sea Gulls on it, a rock with waves crashing around it, the ocean itself, and clouds. I like it. I am feeling the need to paint right now too, but I don't have much paint left, so I have to save it. That and I don't really have anything to paint. I am definitely looking forward to possibly going back and getting more wooden signs/boxes to paint. My Great-Grandma DeVries also gave me a fiber optic Angel/Fairy last night. It's gorgeous, there's flowers, a waterfall(the fiber optics are in that spot), of course the Faiy/Angel, and then 2 children. I love it. And she's making me a blanket. The colours are going to be a peach colour and then a deep burgundy. She says she is giving each Grandchild and Great-Grandchild one. So, I am lookin forward to getting mine. But, I better go. Bye.

-Samm

4 Stole It | Rip it Away


acidtears

:: 2009 4 March :: 12.37pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: "Eyes on Fire" By: Blue Foundation

Lazy Samm's Back.
Well, mom keeps waking me up early every morning. Strangely it seems to be an hour later each day. Monday- 6:30. Tuesday- 7:30. Wednesday- 8:30. Weird, but she says that I can't continue to sleep the days away anymore. Oh well. I guess she's right. But, more and more, I don't feel like waking up or leaving the house. I want to hang out, but, I just don't really feel like leaving. Weird, because just a week ago I was dying to get out of my house, and now I'm back to being a hermit crab. I haven't left the house for anything since Saturday. I'm not looking forward to next Monday though. That's the first Physical Therapy appointment. Gahh. Oh well. I don't have much to talk about. I've just been laying around, smoking cigarettes, watching Dane Cook, listening to music, and reading. Bye.



Rip it Away


acidtears

:: 2009 3 March :: 12.44am
:: Mood: curious
:: Music: "I'm Gonna Be(500 miles)" By: The Proclaimers

Stephenie Meyers, Stomach Pain, and The Proclaimers.
Well, lately I've been spending alot of time on this computer. But, not so much on my usual sites like Facebook, Myspace, or here either. I've been reading the partial draft of "Midnight Sun". It's the unreleased 5th book in the "Twilight" series. No, it's not illegal where I'm getting it from. Stephenie Meyer posted it on her website. It's 264 pages, and I'm a little bit more than halfway through. So far, I love it. It's basically the first book, "Twilight", but instead of from Bella's point of view, it's from Edward's. I have always wondered what he thought and felt. And I love it, I'm getting to see sides of him that I didn't think were there. But, according to my sister, Stephenie Meyer might not even release it because people have been illegally dowloading and printing it. I really hope she does print it. I hope she does the rest of the books from his perspective as well. Because quite honestly, I'm addicted, and "Breaking Dawn" wasn't enough for me. The books left me yearning for more. I actually spent around a total of 5 hours reading today. Yes, I read very slowly. Oh well. But, I just sit here and read while listening to music on YouTube. And then, earlier, some crazy stomach pain came out of nowhere. It was like nothing I've ever experienced before. It's gone for the most part though. But, I'm just sitting here, about to read more, and I'm listening to one of my favourite songs. I'll put it on here. I loved it the second I heard it in "Benny and Joon". But, I have to get some reading in. Bye.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sd1IfDN6VKY

The embed or whatever thing was disabled, but, if you're interested or curious enough, take a listen. It's not my normal genre of music such as Sirenia, Richy Nix, or Marilyn Manson, but I still enjoy it.

-Samm

Rip it Away


acidtears

:: 2009 27 February :: 4.26pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: "Right here(Departed)" By: Brandy

Weekend.
It's finally Friday. It's been a long week. But, hopefully I will be able to make plans and let loose. At the moment I have nothing going on, but hopefull that will change.

Oh man, today, I tell you what..some people are lucky I am not one of those rude Atheists. Two women from some Baptist church came to the door, and I made mistake number one: I answered it. Me, the Atheist. I tell you what, they would not shut up. Asking me to come to their church, they gave me a little booklet with these steps to accept Jesus into my heart, and I was trying my hardest not to laugh. I think they realised it to, cos from there it sounded more like they were trying to save me. They were almost begging me to accept Jesus. And during this was when I made mistake number two: I didn't tell the to go away! I swear, they were on my door step for like 5 minutes. LONGEST 5 MINUTES IN EXISTANCE. They told me if I ever needed anything, and they stressed on anything, to call them at their church or their personal cellphones. Which, they gave me the number to. But, as soon as they were out of sight and hearing distance, I shut the door and started laughing. Then threw away their card thing. I walked in the living room and shhok my head, that's when my mom said "You answered the door". I'm never answering the door again. Sigh.

But, at least I'm not one of those rude Atheists. I think religion is bogus, but if you want to believe in God or whatever, good for you. If it works for you, then good for you. If the promise of Heaven makes you less afraid of Death, good for you. It's not my thing. Never will be. But, I better go. Bye.

Rip it Away

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