:: 2008 26 August :: 10.30 am

So, it was a long crappy summer spent primarily working for Meijer 40+ hours a week, and now my summary of everything that happened since my last update is mostly complete. Oh except for all the crap that happened recently.

So, there was some drama with the guy I was going to room with in the dorms ( I won't get into it but it's kind of rough) so through on odd series of convenient coincidences I wound up rooming with my friend Adam...
...in an apartment!

So yeah I'm out of the dorms officially and now living on my own. I have my own room, two closets(one's a walk in! And it smells like cat pee >_> ), a parking space I don't have to walk 10 minutes to get to, oh and two cats. In short it's pretty friggin' awesome. Of course it turns out MSU isn't wild on students trying to get out of their housing contracts so that was a massive mess that took about 2 weeks to get out of (in fact the paperwork JUST cleared this morning)

My classes look pretty damn awesome so far. One is on performance art (you know, art where you go somewhere and do something weird to make people think and whatnot, like the free hugs campaign, or those annoying 'the truth' ads where they tell people smoking is bad (you know, in case people can't find the surgeon general's warning taking up half the box)).

Then there's my american studies class that I signed up for randomly to fill my College of Arts and Letters requirement. So I arrived there expecting some boring about how america is awesome/is the worst country in the world when I picked up the syllabus. Apparently, as it turns out, it's all about storytelling in pop culture. In other words, it's about pulp novels, comic books, vaudville, movies, tv shows, radio shows and other such things. Superman, Batman, The Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, and the X-men all appear on the syllabus. Tomorrow we'll be watching the show Supernatural in class, and later on we'll be watching an episode of Buffy. Basically the entire time my prof was explaining his class I was trying my hardest not to giggle like a little girl. I also had to strongly resist the urge to dance and sing on my way home.

Today I have logic and statistics for psychology students. Logic was alright. I expect stats to be lame, but meh. And now I'm basically stuck in the library looking for ways to kill time, hence my sudden appearance here after an absence of 4 months.

By the way, I've officially quit Meijer. It only took 4 years or so >_>. I also don't plan on coming back to Rockford next summer, not that I saw any of you this summer really (and that's really not meant to be as bitter as it probably sounds. I honestly really didn't hardly have the time to meet up with anyone anyway).

So yeah. just 2 hours and 10 minutes to kill before my next class. Weeeee...

...maybe I'll ambush a librarian somewhere or find a way to squish them in the motorized shelves....

...or I suppose I could, you know, read.

Take care everyone.

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:: 2008 6 April :: 3.56 am

Wow..
So uh, I just got tear gassed. There was a huuuuge block party(though technically it's about 3-4 blocks) in an apartment complex near MSU called Cedar village, which happens to be across the river from my dorm. So naturally I went to go check it out, though I wasn't able to get out there until roughly 2am. Of course, I see a lot of people running around. I hear screams, shouts, hoots and hollers with the odd explosion here and there. Then when I get closer I start seeing cop cars, cops in full riot gear wearing gas masks, and then I see a guy laying in the street being pulled away, and a massive cloud of smoke comes billowing out of Cedar Village. In essence, it was insane.

I guess I came pretty much right in time for the riot squad and the gassing, yay for me I suppose O_o. I also got hit with it while I was trying to get a look at what was going on. It uh, not so surprisingly, burns. It's kind of like you had spicy food shoved in every orifice, and then got punched in the stomach. So yeah, after that I wandered around a bit more examining the carnage and whatnot. Some highlights:

-After all the riot cops cleared out the area, a bunch of the partiers actually started sneaking back in, and music and fireworks started up along with some chants. This was followed by several much bigger explosions and a second wave of riot police coming through. It was actually quite cinematic. You heard a bunch of blasts, then a wall of smoke billowed up through the area, and wall of men and women in riot gear hurling tear-gas grenades emerged from the haze and partiers ran away screaming.

-a guy actually smashed a bottle on the back of a cop car and got away with it.

-a guy on a bike followed the cops yelling "FREEEEDOM! WE'RE ALL FREE! THESE PEOPLE HERE ARE PAID TO ENFORCE YOUR FREEEEDOM!" He was wearing cowboy boots. A guy standing near me told him to fuck off, and he walked up to him looking like he was going to start a fight or something and said "YOU CAN TELL ME TO FUCK OFF. BECAUSE YOU'RE FREE! ISN'T THAT AMAZING?! WE'RE ALL FREEEEEEEE."

-A guy who looked like a Vin Diesel reject started screaming at some random guy on the street, and it looked like a fight was going to break out. In about 2 seconds a crowd formed around them and started yelling "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT" and similar such things. Right before the fourth wave of cops arrived (the fourth wave, incidentally, didn't have any tear gas, so I assume they ran out..), aaaand then he ran like a little girl.

-Homeless people had a friggin' can harvest (cans were everywhere, and broken glass lined the streets in the apartment complex). I saw some of them lugging around 2-3 full sized garbage bags worth of cans.

-random guys were actually picking up the exploded flashbangs/smoke grenades/tear gas grenades, and walking off with them in their pockets, showing them off to any passers by.

-At one point the school chant ("GO WHITE" "GO GREEN") started up. Then one guy yelled as loud as he could " SPARTANS, WHAT IS YOUR PROFESSION?!" At which point a particularly loud explosion went off a block over. Then everyone in the area laughed and the guy yelled "THANK YOU!"

Um, but yeah, that's mooooost of what happened. Sadly I didn't have a camera so I wasn't able to get any pics of the event, but I'm sure you'll find pics plastered all over the web and in the news by the time you read this.

Oh, I also heard a couch was indeed set on fire in the street, but I didn't want to venture in far enough to see it.

Anyhow, take care everyone.

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:: 2008 14 March :: 12.29 am

So I just got back from a movie premiere. That's right, a real movie premiere with hundreds of people. Bruce Campbell attended and even led a Q&A session (since it was his new movie "My Name Is Bruce"). The movie itself was much better than expected (though of course not a masterpiece by any means, and you probably wouldn't enjoy it unless you know a decent bit about Bruce Campbell). All in all, an awesome experience. In fact, I believe I have reached my monthly quota of awesomeness in a single night.

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:: 2007 8 December :: 5.23 am

Alright, so I typically hate short vague entries, but right now there is simply no way I can detail everything going through my head right now. Maybe I'll try in a bit here. Anyhow, at the moment, I am pissed, so if I say anything stupid, please forgive me. Anyhow, the sum of my thoughts seems to be: I hate this year so fucking much, and I want it to rot in hell. Now many people throw that phrase around loosely, but in this case I mean it to the full extent. Nothing has gone right, everything keeps going to shit, every light at the end of each long shitty tunnel turns out to be a fucking floodlight some asshole left running (oh, and it promptly turns off before I can make use of it), and everytime I feel like things can't get any more stressful, they plummet further into a bog of shit.

What am I stressed about, well, allow me to make an attempt to outline things:

1. I'm changing my major to psych, but I can't seem to get an appointment with my future advisor to discuss what classes I need to take and how to handle the transition.

2. I don't know where I'm living next year. I don't want to be in the dorms anymore. I'm sick of them, they cost as much as an apartment and you live in a poorly kept up closet. I found a possible roommate, but he doesn't want to move into an apartment.

3. I have finals next week

4. I may have failed my software design class. It won't count towards my major, but nonetheless it would be a horrible blight upon my GPA and really bad way to end the year.

5. I'm going to have to work at meijer when I get back home.

6.My love life is a mess (subpoints listed below, everyone grab your notepads)
-I like one girl, I believed that she liked me. She reveals this to me by kissing me before heading off to Japan for a study abroad trip. I decide to hold off on starting a relationship with her until she gets back. I figure if she still feels the same way, then we can date. I found out today from a friend of mine that she is apparently "going to put the moves on" her 'psuedo boyfriend'. Ugh I keep thinking I had to have misheard. Maybe I'm losing it or something. Maybe it's just a dumb fling. Anyhow the only other girl I have a crush on is:
-I like this other girl, she's had a boyfriend for 5 years and he seems kind of lame. Naturally I can't help but think "I could do a better job than him." Still, I think I may just be behaving dumb. They're obviously together for a reason, and I can't compete with it. I'm okay with that. However:
-if there is no possibility with either girl. I am back to square one. Screwed. I'm a 20 year old virgin who hasn't had a real girlfriend since Junior year of high school. Maybe I'm picky, maybe I'm unlucky. Either way, I feel so fucking lonely right now it's insane.
-there's another girl. She says she's loved me for 3 years. I just can't seem to return those feelings. I talked with her not too long ago because I had no one else to talk with. I just had one hell of a guilt trip laid on me. Um, did I mention that we've had sort of an off and on friends with benefits situation going for the last few years? Yeah, that complicates things further and adds to the stress more. Whee.

-not really my love life, but: I'm currently setting two of my friends up as a couple. They're extremely cute and I envy them horribly.

7. I'm trying to write my novel again. It was going well until now.

8. I have to read two novels by next friday for one of my exams.

9. Earlier this week I had a few panic attacks, and I think I may be having one now.

I basically...
...feel...
...shitty.

I'm shivering, though I'm not cold. I may have cried a bit, though that may just be my eyes watering from lack of sleep (I've been a bit of an insomniac lately). If I did cry, that's the only time I've cried in my adult life. The last time I cried before then was in elementary school.

So anyone have any thoughts? I think I may go sleep now.

If you read this all, thanks, and sorry about the annoyingly angsty entry.

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:: 2007 6 October :: 5.01 am

I currently have a programming project that is due at midnight on sunday. I have been working on it all week. It is worth 10% of my grade. It currently totals well over 1,000 lines. I thought I'd be able to finish it by tonight. I was wrong.

As I see it, I have either written a complete mess that I will need to scrap and completely redo, or I have written acceptable code, but the compiler I am using is glitching on me and I will need to re-enter it anyways.

Either way, I still have a diagram that I am required to make.

Either way, I still need to make a file to compile this bastard in a linux environment.

Either way, I probably won't get to go swimming with my friends on Sunday.

Either way, I am MASSIVELY pissed...

...at this project for being absurdly large...

...at my professor for assigning the project and assuming we would be able to complete it after listening to his broken english and meandering powerpoint slides...

...at my TA's for not being available to help on weekends...

...at MSU for allowing such an unnecessarily difficult class to exist...

...at whoever the hell developed class inheritence in C++...

...at whoever the hell designed Microsoft Visual Studio in all it's glitchy glory, with all it's vague error messages that half the writers of the program probably couldn't decypher...

...and at Charles Babbage for originally proposing the concept of the computer.

In essence, I am so pissed that I could probably rip, not merely one, nor two nor three, nor even 50, but rather 100 kittens in half... ...lengthwise... ...with my bare hands.

Well, wish me luck I suppose.

And if I suffer a complete mental breakdown and wind up either dead or in a permenant coma, well, it was great knowing you all.

Adios

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:: 2007 11 June :: 1.45 am

Hmm, So I've finally started writing again it seems. Quite slowly, but surely (well, more the former and less the latter), both in this journal, and in my story. For those of you who haven't received frequent updates on the status of my story, and who care, I've pretty much decided for sure about what I'm going to write. I even kind of have a rough framework drawn up and whatnot. Now I just need to go through the tedious and almost painful process of filling in that framework. Tonight I actually managed to get the better part of a page completed. Though that might not sound like much, trust me, that page has taken at least a month to emerge in it's current form.

So, aside from my story and a few random happenings with friends and whatnot, my life is pretty damn similar to how it probably was about a year ago. I'm still working at meijer, mostly because I couldn't get another job. I'm not pushing carts, but instead running around fixing registers and telling computer-illiterate people how to resize windows and cut/copy/paste files. Yeah, it's uh, fun >_>.
Oh, though one of our servers did catch fire a week or two ago. Granted neither I nor anyone from my department was there to witness it, but I still found it funny that one of the computers there caught fire after all the jokes I've made about registers spontaneously combusting.

I've also resumed my hobby of looking for poorly named products at meijer. Thus far the best ones I've found have been: Mount Gay rum (I guess it's from barbados or something...), and then Worm Blower, which I found in the fishing aisle between the Rod Holder, and the Mouth Spreader.

Hm, so what else is there...
...I guess I beat Final Fantasy XII a while ago. It took me 106 hours and I still only got through 2/3 of the side-quests. For those of you who may happen to be playing the game, or who are even thinking of playing the game, DON'T SPEND TIME ON THE DAMN SIDE-QUESTS. They are completely worthless wastes of time in which you run for about a half hour to get to some dumb monster, defeat said dumb monster, and then run back to the dumb person that asked you to kill the dumb monster to get a really dumb reward. Nothing is added to the plot, none of the characters are developed, and just about nothing of interest happens during them.

Yeah though, that's about all I can think of right now. Adios amigos...

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:: 2006 24 November :: 1.49 pm

Hey! Everyone here! I'm trying to get everyone together at my house since we pretty much almost never get together these days, but so far, thanks to a shortage of numbers and a severe lack of people PICKING UP THE BLOODY PHONE (!!!!! O_O) I have only managed to get ahold of Katie. Soooooo, if anyone would like to join me in doing whatever the hell we wind up doing (movie, games, food, skipping naked through the streets beneath the moonlight screaming showtunes, virgin sacrifice, mass orgy, sitting on a couch groaning about how much our respective college experiences suck, any combination of the above and maybe more...? (and damn I write massive statements in my paranthesis)), just give me a call at home.

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:: 2006 29 October :: 3.40 am

Alright, so this weekend has been unbelieveably awesome. Moreso than I would dare try to explain tonight. I will, however leave you with a few teasers before I make a more detailed post on the matter sometime later.

-A girl hits on me in a hilarious way

-2 awesome parties

-chains

- partial nudity

-Qdoba nacho bar

-blood

-burlesque show

-dog the bounty hunter

-piercings

-jello shots

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:: 2006 7 July :: 1.28 am

Well, not sure if anyone here even knew I had a girlfriend to begin with since I never really posted on the matter here anyways, but I don't know. The relationship lasted all of 18 days. Kind of pathetic really.

And now the search for a girl continues. Quite annoying really.

Though, on the plus side, it was a very gentle almost mutual breakup. Aaaand, I'm single again! woo..?

Ah well, in any case I'll live.

Other highlights of the day include:
-Acing my last calc quiz
-Hitting my first animal on the road today (an american woodcock (see my xanga for full details)
-Coming up with a new novel ideal (and this one is really good, possibly replacing my original project II)

Also, I'm starting to really think that I may need glasses. As I type, I can barely focus on the letters, and every now and then I find myself unable to read a word. And I'm only sitting 3 feet from the screen tops.

And, that's all for now.
Va con dios mis amigos.

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:: 2006 17 May :: 2.29 am

Well, apparently the last real entry I've made her was back in December, so I figured I may as well update.

Rather little has been happening in my life as of late (and by the way, if ANYONE wants to do ANYTHING (well, okay, within reason), then for the love of all that is holy give me a bloody call!). I've been working at meijer again, much to my dismay. While the work itself is certainly not worthy of much complaint, the fact that I'm still walking around pushing carts with high schoolers and creepy old incoherent guys is more than enough to leave me looking for a change of summer vocation. At this point I'm even considering sucking it up and finally becoming a cashier (though I truly loathe the idea of having such a dull job...).

At home I've been pretty much bored out of my mind. My PS2 is still broke and I still really have no idea as to where I can go to get the damn thing fixed. My computer still functions rather well, but you can only play shooters and card games for so long before it becomes painfully boring. Still, I'm thinking of learning how to use the Source Developing Kit that came with my copy of Half Life 2 to build a few levels, and eventually maybe even a mod or two (I even already have a great idea for map that should be rather entertaining(Imagine, if you will, a deathmatch level that takes place on a bunch of floating structures suspended in the sky by balloons that can be popped(the potentials in strategy and havok are more than enough to make me grin a little))).

Also, I was able to write a page of my one of my stories tonight. It's really not much, but it's more than I've written in the past 3 months combined, and if I keep it up I'm certain I'll be able to make some decent progress in that story before the summer is out. Regardless, it feels damn good to get something written down.

Well, that's really all I have to say at the moment (like I said, things around here have been rather boring).

Va con dios mis amigos.

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:: 2006 19 March :: 3.04 am

Ladies and gentlemen, the presence of this survey shows just how bloody bored I am.

01. [x] on the cheek.
02. [x] on the lips.
03. [x] on their hands or fingers.
04. [x] in my room.
05. [x] in their room.
06. [x] of the opposite sex.
07. [] of the same sex.
08. [x] a little younger than me.
09. [x] a little older than me.
10. [] with black hair.
11. [x]with curly hair.
12. [] blonde hair and blue eyes. (am I the only one who hates this combo?)
13. [x] with red hair.
14. [x] with straight hair.
15. [x] shorter than me. (um, duh)
16. [ ] with a lip ring.
17. [debateable] who i truly love/loved
18. [] who was drunk.
19. [] who was high....
20. [x] in the morning.
21. [x] right after waking up.
22. [x] just before bed.
23. [x] late at night.
24. [] who i had just met
25. [x] who I really didn't want to kiss.
26. [x] just talking not dating.
27. [x] on a bed.
28. [ ] in a graveyard.
29. [x] at school.
30. [x] against a wall
31. [ ] at a show.
32. [ ] at the beach.
33. [ ] at a concert.
34. [ ] in a pool.
35. [x] who was/is a good friend.
36. [] in the rain.
37. [x] with a mole on their body
38. [ ] in the shower
39. [ ] in a car/taxi/bus.
40. [x] in the movies.
41. [] in a bathroom/laundry room
42. [x] in the dark.
43. [ ] on a roof top.
44. [ ] under water
45. [ ] while driving
46. [ ] a stranger
47. [ ] more than one person at once
48. [ ] crying
49. [ ] goodbye forever
50. [ ] when i was drunk.
51. [ ] who didn't speak english
52. [ ] in a hot tub
53. [ ] in an elevator
54. [ ] an ex
55. [ ] last night.
56. [ ] Just today
57. [ ] someone in a shower while doing a handstand and simultaneously jerking off a pale midget. (if it was a well tanned midget, maybe)

That said, I find it amazing exactly how many friends I have who have apparently done 57.

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:: 2005 17 December :: 9.59 pm

My Birthda Party
Alright, so here is the plan (thusfar), and I apologize completely for not having explained it in depth sooner. My party will take place on Sunday (AKA tomorrow) at 7 pm until whenever the hell everyone goes home. I have no idea what we'll do and whatnot, probably just watch movies and hang out like last year (if you came).

Everyone here is invited, but please just let me know if you're coming (by phone or woohu) so I have some idea as to how many people I should expect. Feel free to invite others who do not have access to this page, but please let me know before you do...

So yeah, that's pretty much it. I hope to see as many of you as possible tomorrow. Hopefully you all know where I live. If not, then just give me a call or something.

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:: 2005 16 December :: 8.35 pm

And behold! For I have returned home!

by the way, My birthday party has been green-lighted...

...either on sunday (18th) or monday (19th) please let me know when you all can come. I have no idea what the plans are so far, but there will be cookies and candy and probably some (slightly) more nutritious foods as well. Everyone who can find this page is invited, but PLEASE let me know before you head over.

So, aye, that is all for now.

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:: 2005 22 November :: 8.08 pm
:: Mood: content

And thus have I returned home for the holiday ^_^. Definitely feels good to be back home, though oddly enough my room here is actually considerably colder. If anyone wants to do anything though, just call me up. Hopefully you know the numbers.

Last night I kind of wound up staying up rather late tearing my mind to shreds on a program that just wouldn't work. So, at the moment I'm kind of in the mood to just fall on my mammoth fleece covered bed and sleep.

va con dios mis amigos

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:: 2005 18 November :: 5.50 pm
:: Mood: lonely

Hmm, so suddenly, I feel very lonely. I'm not sure where that came from, but I am. I've made a decent number of friends in the dorm. They're all nice, a little bit crazy, but still pretty clean (kind of like the old group back home, but two years older). I'm still friends with Rachael, who has been the savior of my weekends (if not for her, I'd have moped my way through every single weekend here not doing anything with anyone). Still though, I feel like I should be somewhere doing something with someone right now, but there's no one.

I have some work to do, an essay and a programming project. I can BS my way through the essay, and the program should be pretty easy once I get started. Still, I just really don't want to work right now. I don't want to sit on my ass either, but unfortunately the prospect of breaking in my chair is a somewhat more desireable prospect than researching some racial scientists of the late 19th century (by the way, the topic of race... ....I'm sick of it, no matter what anyone says, it's total bullshit. The difference is in culture, we are not all the same, because we have different cultures, but we are not all different in that our bodies are ultimately of the same basic design. That's all there is to it.).

I've been trying to write again lately. I can't say I've written much, but with any luck, I'll manage to get some work done in that area. Why am I not writing now since I have nothing better to do? Well because I'm not really in the proper mood, and I don't want to force it.

So yeah, to sum things up, I'm bored and lonely. Pardon this sad little entry in my journal. 'Tis not even dramatic and depressing, or happy, fun and sickeningly cute, just kind of blah, and such a step down after my massive (and apparently generally well received) rant on xanga.

Oh, on a more useful and informative note, I'm coming home this coming wednesday, possibly even this coming tuesday ^_^ (provided my bloody writing prof. cancels class like she should *shakes fist menacingly in general direction of Dr. Fernandez*). So let me know if you want to hang out sometime once I have returned ^_^.

Oh, and a bit of a heads-up. I'm quite seriously considering having a bit of a party on my birthday (the 19th of december in case you forgot). I figure it might be a good opportunity for us all to hang out in a big group like we used to before this dreaded thing called college snatched us all away, erm, and before we all kind of became boring and antisocial over the summer (no offense to anyone, I did it too). Oh yeah, and if I do wind up having a party and any bad blood is stirred up, I will insert a sobe bottle in your rectum, broken or whole (I have about 12 of those on my desk right now, and I figure I could put them to good use). So yeah, everyone here, let me know what you all think about the idea.

Hopefully you are all having an awesome start to your weekend.

Va con Dios mis amigos.

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