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:: 2009 15 January :: 10.24pm

KHAAAAAN!!!

I don't know what to do with myself. It's like when Kurt Vonnegut died all over again.

Sigh.

:: 2008 31 December :: 5.28pm

Guess who didn't get to see her friends.

ME! yay.

:: 2008 24 December :: 4.26pm
:: Mood: content

I'm home with the parents right now. I've been home for a few days since my seniority at work actually got me valuable time off for once. I've leaving tomorrow afternoon, though, because I have to work at five thirty on the day after Christmas, although Meijer doesn't actually open until six.

I'm going to be alone for a few weeks since Rueben is staying down here to work and I have to go back to Mt. Pleasant to work. I've already planned on going on a baking frenzy to take up my time. I think I'm also going to start working out at the student activity center now that I'm feeling better.

And I am feeling better. I've been able to actually eat for about three weeks now. I've gained about ten pounds back, so I don't look so scary any more.

Grades are in, I got all B's and a B+ in my English class, and I'm okay with that. If I can pull all B's while almost dying, I think I did well.

I'm not looking forward to driving home tomorrow, but I think I'll be alright.

It was nice having a few days off, and I'll be ready when next semester starts in a few weeks.

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:: 2008 21 December :: 11.46pm

I did not get to go to Lansing because my one plan and my five backup plans fell through. It was not meant to be.

I am working on Tuesday, Nick's and my parents' celebramatations on Wednesday and Thursday. Nick's parents' again on Saturday. And MAYBE meeting up with the friends I couldn't see in Lansing Saturday night.

:: 2008 19 December :: 3.32pm

One semester left until I am thrown into the real world without guidance or a job.

I AM SO EXCITED TO NOT HAVE HOMEWORK OR TESTS ANYMORE OMG

In other news, I'm going to Lansing this weekend.

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:: 2008 12 December :: 10.13pm

I hate Windows
Me: Hey, I wanna play this game with my 360 controller.

Windows: Oh okay.

Me: This game says it's the coolest with the controller.

Windows: Mmhmm.

Me: It says it does rumble.

Windows: Yes.

Me: So, I'm gonna plug it in...and you should...see it right?

Windows: Sure.

Me: Okay, it's there.

Windows: I'm not seeing it.

Me: Well, it's there.

Windows: Still not seeing it.

Me: Let me unplug it and I'll put it back in.

Windows: Uh no. Nothing.

Me: Um. So. Do you need a driver or something for this?

Windows: I'm not quite sure.

Me: Can you check?

Windows: No.

Me: Well, I'm going to ask Google. He always knows.

Windows: I can wait.

Me: He says you do.

Windows: Okay.

Me: I went to your website and you just wanted me to buy a controller.

Windows: Well, yeah. You need one to play the game.

Me: Yeah, well. I have one right here. Remember? It's plugged in.

Windows: Oh. Yeah. I can't see it though.

Me: Right.

Windows: Right.

Me: So, I'm going to go ask Google again. Maybe he knows a better place.

Windows: Okay.

Me: He told me to go to your website again.

Windows: Yeah, it's probably there.

Me: Well, the link they sent me to? It doesn't work.

Windows: Huh.

Me: So. I'm going to look around a little.

Windows: Okay.

Me: Why isn't it on the page with the controller? You know. Under related topics or links or whatever.

Windows: Shrug.

Me: Huh.

Windows: ...

Me: Oh well I'm going to go to this product download link.

Windows: Mmhmm.

Me: Why do you need to know what I'm downloading it for? I told you on that other page.

Windows: I forgot.

Me: ...

Windows: I can't see it. I forgot.

Me: ...

Windows: ...

Me: Okay, well it's downloading.

Windows: What?

Me: A driver or something. I don't know. It's downloading.

Windows: Okay.

Me: Why is it going to take five minutes?

Windows: I don't know.

Me: Okay.

Windows: ...

Me: Well, it's done.

Windows: Okay.

Me: So, it's installing.

Windows: Okay.

Me: You know, my OS came out after the 360.

Windows: Yeah.

Me: So why didn't you just include the driver with the OS?

Windows: I don't know.

Me: I have a lot of useless stuff from you already. Why didn't you just include it?

Windows: I don't know.

Me: Okay it's done.

Windows: Okay.

Me: Why the hell do you always want me to restart? The light is lit up. Why do I have to restart?

Windows: I don't know.

Me: Bill Gates doesn't even know why I have to restart.

Windows: Well...we don't talk anymore.

Me: Huh. Well, I'm not restarting.

Windows: Okay.

Me: I'm going to go play my game now.

Windows: We'll see...

Me: Wait.

Windows: What?

Me: Why's the program still there?

Windows: Which one?

Me: The one I installed the driver with.

Windows: I don't know.

Me: Why couldn't you just delete it after it installed?

Windows: I don't know.

Me: And what's this Windows Update thing?

Windows: Hm?

Me: You just installed the driver and already you need to fix it.

Windows: Well... This is an update just for you.

Me: You couldn't just put the latest version on your website?

Windows: No.

Me: You asked me what OS I was using.

Windows: Yes. Yes I did.

Me: So. You could have just the latest one for my OS there. On that special page. For me.

Windows: Yeah.

Me: Huh.

Windows: Yeah.

Me: You want me to restart again.

Windows: Yeah.

Me: Fine.

Windows: See you later.

Me: Whatever.

:: 2008 9 December :: 10.40pm

All moments, past, present and future, always have existed, always will exist.

The cat is both dead and alive.

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:: 2008 6 December :: 2.30pm

I turn 21 tomorrow.

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:: 2008 2 December :: 2.28am

crossposted
I am very blessed. I have a boyfriend who loves me (and lets me sleep and makes me bagels with cream cheese and turkey (when I don't feel well and when he thinks it sounds disgusting)) and whom I love. I have a family that despite my coming home from a semester in Europe and immediately moving out, still loves me.

I am blessed because I had two Thanksgivings. And I will have two Christmases.

I talked to one of the new student workers today. His father lost his factory job and his mother lost her greenhouse job. Downsizing. He had Spaghetti O's for Thanksgiving. In his dorm room. He says Christmas doesn't look too great either.

I left work crying.

I've always had a Christmas. I've always had a Thanksgiving. No matter how poor my parents said they were that year. I can't imagine not having one. But this kid did. This kid will.

:: 2008 26 November :: 10.14pm

I feel like I learn more about faith and feel better about faith in my Arabic class than I ever did in my Theology class.

In my Theology class, I was angry and upset that I was supposed to believe what he said I needed to. That I needed to obey the laws he said existed. Laws and rules I didn't think any god cared about.

In my Arabic class, I feel good about this god that I thought was mean and restrictive. I feel good about the world. Every day we have a religious discussion, even inadvertently.

I guess I'm not doing the Catholic thing anymore? I guess I haven't for a while. I like this God guy. I'm feeling things out but I'm a big fan of this non-denominational thing. I just hate religion so much. We'll see where this goes.

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loserxdork

:: 2008 26 November :: 12.42am
:: Mood: nostalgic

Whoaa.
I can't believe I always forget about my Woohu. It's sad. This was my first journal site, and I love it. I just wish others here were still active. No one that I used to talk to is really on here and it makes me sad. If anyone is interested you can find me a few different ways.

FACEBOOK: Search for me (Marissa Fein) just tell me who you are, and that you're from WOOHU.
MySpace: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=609403 - There is my link, send me a message and let me know who you are and that you are from WOOHU :)

AIM: Defectivexbeauty
YAHOO: lovesalosinggame

Livejournal (that I barely use): riss___
Melodramatic.com: dorktothemax

So, that aside things are going ok. So much has been going on in my life it would take me ages to update everyone. If you'd like to talk, just find me and I would be glad to indulge in some intelligent conversation, witty banter, or just shooting the shit :)

:: 2008 17 November :: 12.01pm

I have a french exam in one hour that I am not prepared for.

I'm fairly sure I just failed a math exam two hours ago.

But I think I'm going to be okay, and that's all that really matters right now.

[edit] I think the French exam went all right and I've almost eaten an entire tray of sushi. Yippee.

:: 2008 10 November :: 2.58pm

I haven't updated in a while. I haven't had time. No. That's incorrect. I haven't had the motivation.

Something is wrong. I'm sleeping all of the time and always tired. It's not depression. I went to the doctor's and they told me I had a viral infection and anemia. A week later, it should be better, but I slept for over twelve hours last night and I've been laying down every chance I get.

I went home on Sunday for a family reunion and the only things people said to me is that I look like a poster child for anorexia and I look tired. I've lost almost eighty pounds. I'm trying to stay stable at 130.

Although my test came back negative for mono, I still think I probably have it. Why else would I be so tired all of the time? Everything is suffering because of it: my grades, my attitude, my dealings with my friends and brothers.

I just want to wake up and be okay.

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:: 2008 4 November :: 12.35am

Vote tomorrow, bitches.