butterfly
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2007 29 November :: 6.21pm
Fantastically enough my computer is temporarily out of service. I need a new one soo effing bad, but I don't have the money to get one atm and my parents refuse to think that we need a new one because, "solitaire still works fine" and I'll be damned if you need a computer for anything other than fucking solitaire, right?
Dumbasses.
-Edit-
Yeah... so that took my computer guy all of 3 hours to fix and I've got my computer back. I had the Trojan virus and ... just fucking whatever. I'm so sick of this. Second time I've had to take it in, and it cost me $40. Last time I had to pay like $120 for all the shit John (comp guy obv) did, which included installing all this new junk on here and deleting shit.
I love my computer, I do, but I hate it more I think.
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romancereverie
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2007 27 November :: 6.56am
Skye Here.
Ready to shoot herself in the face.
Seven am shifts at work make want to die. :)
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butterfly
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2007 26 November :: 10.01pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: All The Same - Sick Puppies
I want to be back there so badly. I don't see how I'm going to be able to wait until around January to be with him permanently. It seems things will suck around here for awhile.
It was a great trip though, minus the flight screw-ups/delays. Shadow even let me pet him this time around which made me happy.
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romancereverie
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2007 24 November :: 5.27pm
Well, Crap.
I don't know anymore.
I felt empty.
So I made good grades.
I felt empty.
So I made amazing friends.
I felt empty.
So I called my family.
I felt empty.
So got a new apartment and a new roommate.
I felt empty.
So I create all this art.
I still feel Empty.
Do you know why?
I would very much enjoy an answer.
I love my life..but there is something missing. Something missing that i can't put my finger on. I don't know. Why do I feel like this..? No, Robert, is not really in my life anymore, but I'm getting over that. So what is it? I'm lost. I can't figure it out. I making the grades. I'm doing the job. I'm making it, what the hell is missing?
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oceanchild
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2007 23 November :: 2.08pm
Today I went to see a doctor for the first time since coming to Germany because I was peeing blood and in quite a lot of pain. The doctor was very friendly and spoke English to me, but trying to speak to the secretaries in German made me feel like ten kinds of a fool.
This story has a happy ending however in the form of antibiotics and my great gratitude for health insurance.
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romancereverie
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2007 20 November :: 6.25am
I absolutely adore Men, Women and Children. The Band. They're amazing. I haven't had a band make this happy with a random song as much as them.
:]
Its 6:30am. And I'm not grumpy.
What the heck?
Yesterday one of my friends, who at one point in my life I had a crush on, was trying to get into my panties. Instead of being irritated like normal..I was actually flattered. I've been through the whole sleep with whoever shows attrations for me phase, what the hell happened? I think I'm just lonely. I very nearly gave into it. But I didn't. I made a vow..now more messing around with people I'm not in an actual relationship with!
I dont care what other people do. I've had my share of drama from sex. No more. :/
Anyway. Merry Almost Thanksgiving.
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romancereverie
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2007 18 November :: 7.27pm
I made this after I heard the song the "Shankill Butchers" by the Decemberists. I was in a slum yesterday, after I made this I felt a lot better. Thats the main why I get my anger out. I'm obviously not that articulate. So here it is.
I realized yesterday that life could get a lot worse. My friend came to me in the night and I had to dress the wound he inflicted upon himself. I don't usually give suicidal people the time of day. But I understood his pain. I just hope he never tries to again. Made me see things in a different light though. I have amazing friends. An amazing future ahead of me. I might be a bit lonely. I might miss my family. At least I have them. I"m here. I'm doing well. I shouldn't complain.
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romancereverie
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2007 17 November :: 5.16pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: Beruit - The Flying Cup Club
Breathe
I don't feel like doing homework.
I haven't done two weeks worth of Information Architecture. And three weeks worth of Graphic Illustration :D
I was doing well, but I think I'm burnt out now.
I'm also tired of everything..
Today is our groups drawing night at my apartment. My roommate and I host it every Sunday. I think I'm going to sit in my room, close and lock the door, and play mindless mmorpgs. I don't feel like thinking.
I can't go home for Thanksgiving. I'm having problems with my car and no phone. I'm thoroughly depressed. I'll get through it though. I always do. I'll get to see my family on Christmas at least.
Heres to the Blah journal entry.
I've been going on dates. None of them are exactly working out for me. They're either not funny, too quiet, too weird. I miss my best friend. I miss him a lot.
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romancereverie
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2007 16 November :: 5.07am
:: Music: A Fine Frenzy
:] I'm back.
Woohu was my very first online journal experience. I stopped using it when it became pay. I recently realized how much I enjoyed woohu, so I'm back. I need something thats away from the "real" people. I need others opinions. Perhaps new friends. New fun. I'm looking forward to it very much.
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butterfly
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2007 17 November :: 12.48am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Beyond The Sun - Shinedown
3 days. Holy smokes.
There was a party tonight and Tessi and I got into this huge fight with this guy, Jeremy. It was AMAZING. She freaking punched him in the face. Greatest thing ever.
I have massive amounts of homework, still. We're having a "girls night" tomorrow and it's been planned forever so I can't get out of it but dear lord. Homework gallore.
I did find a coat today. Everyone was like "omg it's so cute" but ... I don't know if I like it all that well, but seriously, it was the only coat I found that I didn't hate. Hopefully it'll grow on me a little more.
Didn't get to talk to Kelly all that much today and I miss him :(
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butterfly
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2007 16 November :: 3.03am
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Cancer - My Chemical Romance
!!!
So Jacob told me he was still in Columbia at Mizzou and then I get home tonight and a few minutes later he come's strolling into my room. It was amazing. He just left because his dad had to have the truck tomorrow to go to work. If that hadn't been the case he probably would have just crashed here.
Anyway, tomorrow Ashley and I are having lunch together and then getting our nails done, and then attempting for the second time to find a coat.... and now Jacob's coming with us. I'm super excited. Ashley doesn't know yet, but she should be fine with it... I hope.
Seriously though, this is cracking up to be like the best month of the year. I get to see my boyfriend in a couple days, I just saw my best friend, I'm going to get pumpkin pie --totally my favorite thing EVER-- and just ... yeah. Fantastic.
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butterfly
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2007 14 November :: 4.45pm
:: Mood: stressed
:: Music: Livin' Our Love Song - Jason Michael Carroll
School is teh suckzorz
I've got so much damn homework. Kelly's probably going to kill me while I'm up there because my nose will be buried in books.
HOPEFULLY I can get it done this weekend, but Jacob, Tylor, and Jessica are coming in and I haven't seen them in forever and Saturday night we're supposed to have a little "girl's night" over at Tessi's and just UGH.
Seriously though, I'll probably have to skip church Sunday just to get some of this shit done. It's fucking crazy.
-8 page research paper with bibliography, notecards, and works cited page for English
-6-8 minute speech to write and memorize for Speech
-a bagillion work sheets and a one page essay over Madison's Model and how we use it today for Political Science
BLAH is what I say to that. Asshat professors.
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butterfly
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2007 12 November :: 9.16pm
:: Mood: excited
7 days!
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butterfly
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2007 9 November :: 10.37pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: Invincible - Crossfade
-Tuesday- I got an 85% on my test
-Wednesday- My speech went wonderfully
-Thursday- My teacher loved my powerpoint and is going to make me show the people who weren't there next week. She also said I was pretty.... which made me feel kind of awkward.
-Today- Shopping went wonderfully. Like everything in every store was on sale. I got two pair of jeans and a pair of khakies, three pair of sleep pants, two sweaters and a long sleeved shirt, five pair of underwear and two bras at Victoria's Secret, which I had to get resized and that's always just awkward imo.
"Hey... you see that tape measure around your neck? Yeah.... I'm going to raise my arms up and let you wrap it around my boobies k? Awesomesauce. Oh I'm a ___? Sweet thx. Bai2u."
Ugh.
Anway, everything that I stressed about all week went perfectly fine. Blah.
I haven't talked to Kell in like 1 1/2 days and now apparently I have to go all weekend without talking to him and who knows how much longer.
i r sad.
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butterfly
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2007 8 November :: 6.04pm
Fuck.
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oceanchild
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2007 8 November :: 6.31pm
I've decided that there's no reason why my journal should remain friends only. Futher entries will be available to the general public.
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butterfly
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2007 6 November :: 11.19pm
:: Music: Hilikus - Incubus
Alright, so, this week has been kind of awful.
My class was canceled Monday, but we weren't told so until we actually got to school, so waste of gas there.
Tonight I had a test in Political Science; I think I did alright, but I don't know for sure, and it was a very large stress enducer for me, and even though it's over with, I'm still stressed about it. Then, once the test was over, we started going over our new stuff, and I told him that I wasn't going to be there on the 20th and he was like "... yeah, ok" and then this guy Jake told him he wasn't going to be there on the 13th and he just like snapped and started bitching and being really rude. So, that was awesome.
Tomorrow I have a speech to give, and I only just got done writing it, but it only has to be like 2-4 minutes and I can bs my way through it if I forget anything.
Thursday I have a powerpoint presentation to give which is worth 200 points. I hate powerpoints. They're effing retarded and just annoy me. On this one I have to insert a sound clip and it's not freaking working so I don't even know what to do. Once I get out of class tomorrow I guess I'll just work on it for a million hours until dumbass Erma (the bitch-face I hate that works at the school) kicks me out. Oh how I loath her.
Anyway, on top of all the stress I have from school, I'm REALLY sick and have these gigantic pills to take, and though I'm not sure what ass tastes like, I'm sure they're fairly close.
The only good thing about this week is that I should be going shopping with Ashley on Friday. She called and asked if I wanted to, and it actually works out because I need to go. I don't have a winter coat yet because... well I live in Missouri and quite frankly it doesn't get all that cold until later into winter, but since I'm goin to Michigan and I'm a huge baby, I need one now. I also need some more jeans and tops. And bras.
I'm thinking I'll ask my parents to just give me money for clothes now instead of waiting for Christmas. Dad'll be cool with it, Mom... I'm not so sure about. Fingers crossed though.
Despite my ranting, I'm actually in a good mood. I get to see Kelly, so I can't even stay in a bad mood if I wanted too, I'm too excited.
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butterfly
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2007 5 November :: 12.00am
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Ordinary - Train
In short:
Rachel - Happy until further notice.
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butterfly
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2007 2 November :: 1.15am
:: Music: Cumbersome - Seven Mary Three
Dear lord I wish sleep would come to me now.
I'm tired but no matter how much I will myself to go to sleep, I lay there staring up at my ceiling. Can we say torture?
Yes, indeed we can.
I laid in bed for over an hour just thinking of things and then I had a huge list of questions I wanted answered, so I was like, "eff this, I'll go google everything," so now here I am, googling shit at 1:20 in the morning, when I would actually like nothing more than to sleep.
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butterfly
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2007 28 October :: 12.19am
I went to bed four hours ago, and just woke up feeling completely rested and great.
What. The. Fuck.
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