Nothing like it
You have to love sitting alone listening to sad songs by yourself waiting. Tonight was going to be fun and awesome, but everything went to pot. It was going to be jeff hilary myself and jess going out to eat and hanging out and wachting movies. Then ryan ask jess to go out with him and get something to eat. And sam was coming now. and its wierd with sam and hil and jeff. I called jess and she waiting for ryan to call to see what was up. They werent going to go to gr. jeff and sam came over and i was really sad. they were over for a while waiting for ryan jess and hilary to showe up. they left after 20 min. I called jess and no one was home called hilary she left with ryan and jess. And jess said they would probley stop by so im here alone waiting for them. Dan called seeing what was up. I dont know i said which isnt really important to the story im telling. Anyways I wacthed the hole dashboard dvd, and listening to sad songs alone and my mom told me she was going to be moving which makes me sad also. And i cant stop my self from think sad things and its hard not to start crying because i know i have no reason to cry i should be happy and i should be think about this stuff damn there goes not crying. Well its stupid i have no reason to cry. This enty is pontless. I know things will turn out. But its hard. Oh yeah Im seeing the end of bsc coming up too. I geuss dusty wants to start a new band because all the stuff we play sucks. But its funny because if it sucks he has him self to blam because he made it up. And I am a crappy drummer to him because i cant play simple beats stuff like hot hot heat...Well skrew you dusty because i can play it its just that those drum part are stupid and easy. Go ahead start a new band because i know all you will do is talk about it and sit on your butt, complain, and say things like "we'll see" "I'll Try" "Maybe" "My mom wont let me" "be there in a little bite"(and not show up for hours). Man i feel better wow what a mood shift see i told you. I think this is the longest entry i have ever had. I hope every one is having fun because im not going to spend the rest of my saturday night myself feeling sad and mooping around. So see ya

im tired and tonight Already seems like too much work. im not in the mood for this crazyness and i dont want to be around a bunch of people. I just want with maybe one or two more people. I want to have fun. So lets see how tonight turns out.

skin the woods dark whos browned their under pants
Wow tonight was so much fun and would like to thank everyone who was involed because i had so much fun. And this is how things always should be just hanging out and having fun. I needed to have fun really bad and today thats basicly all i did was have fun. I love all of you guys and i really enjoy your company. And hilary jess and casey i hope you didnt get introuble

her is a converstion i had with my mom tonight
Man my mom it wierd but so am i so i geuss it runs in the family.
vmc188: Hey what are you doing up so late?
blitzkrieg689: late?
blitzkrieg689: you didnt even come home last night talk about late
vmc188: Well it's after midnight isn't it? Did you let the electriction in today. What makes you say I didn't come home?
blitzkrieg689: i spent the night at your house
vmc188: Oh, I tried calling you today and you didn't answer phone. I thought you were going to dads. If I would have known I would have been here.
blitzkrieg689: what time did you call?
vmc188: 10:00 , 11:00 12:00 1:00 1:45 many times.
vmc188: Did you see the electrician?
blitzkrieg689: the electrician called and i helped him get to the house
blitzkrieg689: last night as i was leaving to go to dads jess called and i ended up talking with her untill like 12 ish and i did relize it was so late so i just stayed there but i left in the morning around 10:15
vmc188: I see, Glad to know those were you're socks in my bed. Hope you're not too mad at me.
blitzkrieg689: i didnt care i thought your were bowling
blitzkrieg689: but then i didnt see the car so i was like i geuss she didnt come home
vmc188: I was.
blitzkrieg689: when i woke up i took a shower and then i left
vmc188: Maybe i got home late. And then left very early in the morning.
blitzkrieg689: yes sure
vmc188: It's my story. Do you remember that hammock in the attic?
blitzkrieg689: ?
vmc188: Never mind.
blitzkrieg689: oh yeah the attic
blitzkrieg689: with the rat
vmc188: huh? that country song. He fell asleep in the hammock. It's his story and he's sticking to it. Then his wife tells him she put the hammock in the attic.
blitzkrieg689: you are wierd mom
vmc188: Ok, I admit it.
blitzkrieg689: Hey go to www.brucesaidcheckers.tk it should work now
vmc188: I'm at the home page.
blitzkrieg689: isnt it awesome
vmc188: Yes should I click on something else.
blitzkrieg689: yeah
vmc188: I checked calander. what should I ck next?
blitzkrieg689: the lyrics
vmc188: Any w/ pics?
vmc188: Which is the newest?
vmc188: Are you practicing tomorrow?
blitzkrieg689: im not sure
vmc188: I'm going to bed soon. I thought you were spending the night tonight. Will you be able to help me anytime Sat or Sun. with putting some siding stuff up?
blitzkrieg689: im not sure but probley
vmc188: Ok. knock knock
blitzkrieg689: whos there
vmc188: olive
blitzkrieg689: olive who?
vmc188: olive you!!!!!
blitzkrieg689: good one mom
vmc188: yea I know. Talk to ya later. Have sweet dreams, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite. If they bite, bite them back harder.
blitzkrieg689: ok mom i will
vmc188: XOXO
vmc188 signed off at 12:34:14 AM.

Noise And Kisses Lyrics



look in my eyes
I'm jaded now whatever that means
by sharing these things
I rip my heart out
it's worth my time
whatever that means...
hard to see up
my neck feels stiff until I wake up
the orange i choked
and back to my neck
it's worth my time
whatever that means....so

share with me
cause i need it right now
let me see your insides
or write me off
cause I'd rather starve now
if you won't open up

give it to me
give me all... whatever you want
it's never been me
to want this much from you
I can see
it tears me up

i really enjoy this song

Dont call my name out your window im leaving, Im sick of writing every song about you
Man no matter how much i listen to that song it never gets old. I can relate to that song in so many ways. Well so far this spring break has sucked. I have done a lot of think and figured some things out now all i have to do is tell them to the people that need to hear it, which will be the hard part. Over the past month or so i have learned a lot about life. This hole thing helped me find out who my friends really are. And something i just resently learned is that nobody is going to look out for me and that i need more proof than just words and even actions inorder to belive or trust whats going on. Man you are really happy when the things that are being said are the things you have dreamed of and thought that they would never be said. And when you know they mean what they say and that all those feelings you 2 feel are real. You have to be the most confusing person on earth. I really hope i get more time to talk with you because i have so much to say that i need to get out. 9 hours in a month isnt very much. And dont worry about me i will be fine

Last night i waited for a phone call that never came went to bed aT 9. Today Dusty cant play so sit around and do nothing called jess shes to busy to talk and most like wont call me back so looks night will be another boring night. Well i always have work for fun Yippy

I've got a 20 dollar bill
Yeah, I dont know if you guys feel the same as me about how sick i am about talking about this hole thing, and people having nothing better to talk about it. It happend there is nothing anybody can do and im dealing with it the best i can and if you disagree with what im doing all i have to say to you is just to exept it because im doing the best i can its the first time i've delt with something like this. its not every day your hole world changes. And in more ways than just the jess thing. And im slowly building my world from the ground up. There are very few people i look at in the same light as before. And the way i see it nobody is not my friend now because of this and if they arnt i dont know about it. So there it is

life
life is so confusing. I cant seem to figure out my feelings. So much could go good but at the same time so much could go wrong. but all i know is know one else needs to be hurt and i dont need to be hurt any more. But right now things are looking up. It will be an adventure to see how things turn out.

i first of all would like to thank dusty and rebecca for tonight it was the best night i have had in a long time. I was myself again and when ever i would start to get sad you guys would change the subject or make me laugh it was good to have a break from my mind and think. although jess was always in the back of my mind, it was still fun and i cant thank you enuff for tonight.

newsocky
so here it is
all my false hope
raped into one kiss
i realy am blind
i didnt know it ment good bye. I thought it ment just wait, things will be fine.
Maybe thats what it ment but just took it and grabed on. But then seeing you smile at me gives me hope and i grab on to that. But i\'ll make it easyer on everyone and leave for a while. i really hope you find yourself. And whatever else you are looking for. And maybe i just need to realize. realize im not sure but i will firgure it out. Its funny you cant explian it untill it happens to you. People think they understand i thought i did but i didnt untill know. Charlie you are one of the few poeple that knows what im going threw. and were so right when you siad enjoy it while it last and dont worry about screwing it up. and you were so right. Now another friend gave me this edvice and i agree fully keep things simple its always better. Now im going to figure things out. Man i never thought it would hurt this much.

i gave you my heart on a bed of roses
i love you
i need you
i want you
but life goes on
and i will have to deal with that. I dont need to tell you my feeling because i know you know what they are. but sometimes i wish i didnt love you. because it hurts so much. i mean out of all the girls in this world i love you. but such is life. you cant get what you want.want what you cant have. i only see you one way the only way ive really known you. I see you as my girlfriend but you are not and i know you dont see my as your boyfriend. You know my number and when you find what you want and if it involes me call me but untill then im going to my best to move on(we know i will do a crappy job at it) and try to kill the pain of rejection. have a good night. i know i wont untill your back but such is life.

life is ok i could be tons better but it could be worse
thats about it.
something something
HHHHHAM
my mom left me in a shopping cart.

life
this are working the way i hoped and im glad.i love jess so much see is so wonderful. Imissed looking into her eyes and having her look back into mine and feeling her next to and we i look at i can see how she feels im glad shes back. but we arent going out yet but i geuss thats ok because we will be together in the time to come.

broken
All i have to say is broken hearts are the worst

blah
Reminds you of an ex-lover: New Found Glory
Reminds you of an ex-friend: Bruce said checkers
Makes you cry: Taking back sunday, Dashboard, and incubus (basicly everything i listen to does because it reminds me of jess some how)
Makes you laugh: Brak
You never want to hear again: The Acustic version of the girl all the bad guys want by bowling for soup
Sums up your teenage years: Dashboard and taking back sunday
You want to get married to: ----
You like to wake up to: Taking back sunday
You like out of your parents record collection: Ted Nugent
You love that you wouldn't know about if it wasn't for a friend: Taking back sunday
You love the video more than the tune:if i dont like the song i most likely wont wacht the video
Reminds you of your first crush love: Dashboard Confessional and Incubus
Reminds you of your now crush love: Taking back sunday, new found glory, Incubus, blink-182, Dashboard, Greenday, basicly everything i hear.
Makes you think of sex: blink-182
Makes you think of being alone: Taking back sunday
Has only been released recently but you love already: Bruce said checkers
to admit you like:
Perks you up: nothing
Makes you wanna injure somebody: Taking back sunday
Do you love to sing: taking back sunday dashboard and bsc

tonight was so much fun!! Kevin jay justin and myself were haNging out at the bean we were mashing aND dancing to some christen band but it was fun we were being so retarted well thats about it night

"tomorrows a new day"

snow is now falling
The wind is bitter cold
Memorys ofwarm summer nights
Everything seemed to be simple then

No matter how bad this may seem to be
If your still here things will be ok
Its only one more trial
Anything worth anything isnt easy

These times arnt bad
They are just trying
The summer will come again
and the memorys will become now


No matter how bad this may seem to be
If your still here things will be ok
Its only one more trial
Anything worth anything isnt easy

Things will be good again
So dont give up yet
Tomorrows a ne day
But i never said it will be esay

Most of the time i have found that rarely ever is it only one persons falt normaly both parties contribute.

stuff
This week hasnt been the best and this morning really suck. But things are looking up.I fainaly was able to talk to jess to night for a like 20 minutes wich helped a lot. Dusty and i played an acustic verion of fast moving dumptruck at the bean after fuzzy logic it was fun i beat dusty in chess but thats because he has stinky breath. Oh yeah Im listening to bsc right now wich is freaking awesome!!!!!!! yeah!!!!! AND WE PLAY AT THE BEAN ON FEB 8th im not sure what time but i will keep you posted and every one should check us out HECK YEAH FOR BSC
well thats all for now to ends on a good note

over all this christmas break was
good. I hung out with my friends a lot. Played with the band. And hung out with jess of course.
For christmas a got coat and ski club passes which is cool.
new years eve i worked and then the band played at kevins party and then goofed around.
well thats about it