Kissy Kissy makes me happy -- Hunny Hunny Sweet as candy
Guess what? This journal is FRIENDS ONLY. And for a reason too. I'm sure you'll have no interest here unless you (a)enjoy listening to an angry/angsty/depress teenaged girl bitch and complain (b)are a friend of mine and know I've said a bunch of shit about you here or (c)are just extremely curious. Who am I? I'm Alyssa. I live in Las Vegas. And If you're interested in friending me you're not going to do it here but instead march yourself to Livejournal.com and add kuroi_kaitou to the account that you should possess. Now; if I haven't scared you off with my bitch mask, I'm not just letting anyone be added because very personal things go here, rules for joining this are as followed:

Give me a name, an IM so I can make sure I don't know you, and a reason to add you.
Give me some common interests.
If we know the same people tell me.

-Alyssa ~ Slave to the Dark

Looking for you just to shine some light one my day..
I haven't updated in a while. Any of my journals at that. Over this weekend I've been doing nothing but updating my journals. Weather it's posting, or fixing it up and making it pretty. <3

Anyways. This is my "get-away-from-it-all" journal. Meaning? None of my friends online or off know about this journal, as far as I know. Though they could easily find it, but none of them read my journals so I have no worries. But this journal is just full of people I don't really talk to, I love you guys though. <3

But now it's time to get a ton off my shoulders.. I'm heading down that road to an emotional break down. And if I get some stuff off my chest it may not be as bad.

This whole week has been nothing but drama and depression. And everything, I mean everything has been irking me really bad. Monday my friend Di got out of a coma, which was good, but that fact he was in a coma left me sobbing for an hour. He went into it Monday and luckly snapped out of it the same day. That was the mere start.

Three of my friends are all in it together to kill themselves, and it's driving meup a wall. Ebony decided she would try to OD Tuesday night, and came to school really fucked up because of some percription pills. 18 pills. That same day Ale had pills at school deciding what to do with them, and my friend Latherin stole them for her and took them. The next day Ale came to school all fucked up. When I figured it out, I was finally fed up and smacked her upside the head and just walked away. Idiots.

I'm so used to having my mom all to my self. She's my mom, ya know? But it's a lot like that saying, "You don't know what you've got til it's gone." No, she'd not gone. But I never took advantage of spending time with her, and I should have. Her ex-boyfriend, Tony, moved back to town from Texas. Don't get me wrong, I love him, he's always been a fatherly model to me, but that was when I was really little. I'm not used to having a male getting all ym mom's attention. But now he's back and she's been out with him every night since Thursday since he only came back on Wensday. I don't know how long it will last, but yes, I'm having a jealousy issue here, especially since I haven't been invited to go with her like I would normally have been. Appearently they are talking about dating again. And it irks me. I don't know why.. But it does. And it really freaked me out today when she threw that "What would you do if we got married" question at me... -sighs-

And then I'm having issues with Chrysty-baby and Amanda. Again, don't get me wrong. I love them both, they are my two favortie people in the world. But I'm such a possessive girl. I've always known I was possessive and spoild and greedy, but it's really starting to show lately. But like I said, they are my two favorite people. And now they are getting all friendly together. It's kinda a teritorial issue, ya know? Chrysty was my friend, and Amanda was my friend. And now they are friends. I knew this would happened which is why I didn't want to introduce them. but at the same time I wanted them to know eachother. But I feel like Amanda's taking my spot with Chrys, though I know she's not, I feel like she's my competition now! I always felt special being Chrysty's "Krad", but now she has me.. and Amanda. So she is always talking about how she loves her "Krad's".. And I don't why but it really irks me. That and the fact Amanda is using my nickname for Chrysty.. I've always called her Chrysty-baby. And since Amanda's been talking to her she calls her it too. May be just because we think alike. But still! IT IRKS ME~! And I feel bad fr getting bothered by that. But ya know. I can't help it. Also, Amanda joined a role-play me and Chrysty are on.. But again I wanted her to join yet I didn't at the same time. It was mine and Chrysty's thing, you know? But oh well, I know I'll have fun with Amanda.

u_u Told you everything's been irking me lately. I've been in a deep depression since Thrusday. But it will pass. I hate building stuff up to the point I can't even pretend I'm happy. My friends are so used to my smiling, laughing, and being stupid. But it's all an act I won't be able to keep up anymore, not until I break down. I need a good cry... A long, hard session of nothing but sobbing and crying, and letting everything go. I'm just sitting here, waiting for it to happen.

This complaint session could easily go on and on.. But it's bed time, it's 11:54, and I need sleep. I have to get up at 5:00 AM. Sleep sounds good right about now. I've gotten enough off my chest to satisfy me for a little while.

Good night to whoever may read this. Though doubtfully anyone will since I'm worthless and no one really notices worthless people and worthless journals.

-Alyssa ~ Slave to the Dark

~ Boredom leads to serious things ~
Hey everyone!

-eats her Hershey Hugs- Be-lated happy New Years~! Ah, and today is my mom's birthday. ^^ Happy birthday mama.

Let's see, I'll update everything right now. <33

Before New Years my best friend and I got to stay the night on the Strip at the MGM with Miki and got to meet her best friend from Japan, Nao. ^^ It was so much fun. Nao spoke very little English though. So Miki had to translate stuff for us. Nao had lots of neat things with her like Magazies, snacks, and all that good stuff. She was really nice too. Just a little shy. We went to Gameworks and to a few hotels. We took them on a few motion machine rides. It was so cute because they got scared and kept yelling random Japanese. In one arcade Miki and Nao wen ton this little "rollar coster machine" thing, and we could hear Miki screaming her lungs out in there, her and her Japanese. I clearly remember "JOTTOOU~!!!" Hehe, it was so kyoot. And lots of fun. Nao was only here for 1 full day though.

What else has happened? Nothing much. For New Years, I went over to Amanda's with Amanda. It gets really confusing for the Amandas' becuase you can't directly say Amanda other wise both Amanda's answer. xD Argh. Yeah, it's confusing. <33 That's the joy of nicknames. Mandies is my best friend, and Manda ish the other. Anyways. Manda being a huge Gackt fan made us watch his concert. I don't care for him. xDD But I didn't mind continiously rewinding when You, Gackt's guitarist, humped him. It was rather kinky. <333333333 Then we stayed up until 4 in the morning painting on eachother to be in a "tribe".. Yes.. We're still childish. Leave us alone! xD Our stuff turned out pretty cool though. I'll post pictures later. I remember last time I stayed over at Manda's we attacked her feet with nail polish. Lmao. That was so much fun!! That was pretty much it.

I returned to school. And this week we've got Semester Exams. -yawns- That's it for my boring life. I could've sworn I had something else to put up here but oh well. I'll post it if it comes to me. Ja mata ne minna-san.

-Arissa//Dark

Dammit, Americans and killing my DNAngel..
he three things I'm dreading in '04:

Viz -- Angel
Sanctuary

D.N. Angel Manga

ADV Films (refering to DNAngel in this)

I don't mind the manga as much as the fact they're dubbing DNAngel. 
Plus there will be a bunch of annoying people who know what DNAngel is.  I
like being one of few who know what it is here in America.  -sighs- 
Oh well, at least I'll be able to read teh mangas.  I plan on buy the
Japanese versions of DNAngel though. ^^

Koino Victory~!
Hm, I haven't updated this journal in a while.. So here are my updates.

I got my computer privilages back Dec 21. x_x; I thought I was going to die, this week has really sucked!! .. Yes, that means I'm going to ramble on about my horrible week. Gah, but I have two weeks of vacation and Christmas is this week. Eh he he he..

Yeah.. I got in a really big fight with my mom on Sunday, last week, and she was threatening to take me to Child haven.. I'd rather not go into details on the fight.. I made myself sick from crying to three hours though.. I've been sick all week. ._.; Gah. The CH thing she said was just to "get me to talk".. But oh well, I'm over the fight, and so is she. I was sick so I got to stay home on Monday, yay for me. That wasn't much fun though, so hey. We got a new bus driver Monday.. And I found out they changed the bus schedule after school.. So my bus stop was the last one whcih now we don't get there until 3:40 compared to 3:00.. --; It's 15 minutes away. Had my friend Katie not been on the bus Monday my grandma would have sat there and such. But Tuesday morning we had to take kids from a bus that broke down.. Our county has Bus problems, they've been eliminating bus stops. Keh. So we had to fit four to a seat.. Wensday on the way home the kids were messing around and the driver todl them to stop. They didn't, so she made them sit in the front, after giving her crap and lip we got to the first bus stop and had to sit there for half an hour waiting for th PI. I hate kids.. Why must I be stuck with them? Thursday we yet again had to fit more kids on our bus. After 15 minutes of those idiots refusing to scoot over, we got the other 60 kids on the bus.. And drove literally a block. -.-;; And then we had to swtich buses go on another bus, fit again 4 to a seat... And we were late for school because it took so long. And on the way home... MORE problems.. On the freeway, a kid threw a glass bottle out the window, hit a car, and nearly caused an accident. So.. The police pulled us over 5 mins. from the stop. -.-; And we sat there for about 45 mins. Yeah. This is my life. God kids my age are such IDIOTS. But oh well.. Only a few more years and I can escape.

-.- Friends suck. Yep.. Hm, I'm getting vibes from my Best Friend she just really doesn't want to see me. She was gone all weekend as said, so I didn't invite her to come over Saturday because she had just gotten home, but I wanted her to spend the night last night. Oh, no, because Heather is going to be coming over. So Iasked about after that and oh, no Miki-chan wants to see her before Christmas.. Well Damn, I want to she her before Christmas too! Or before next year, jeez... So I just called over there.. And that stupid fawking fat ass cow, Liz is over. I can't stand that girl. Last thing I heard they were mad at eachother because that bitch was being such an ass to her and she was having a bad day. I called there and comforted her with her family, and who gets to see Amanda. x/!!!! It's so fucking irritating. Well screw her too!!! God I hate the things she does. Oh well, she can go fuck herself. I'll make plans to see some other friends over break. x3

I want the DNAngel game for PS2. ._.;

I don't really use this journal much anymore. I do this too much, use a journal a lot and then suddenly switch to another. Anywho, if you don't see updates on this Journal, there are probably updates on this one:

www.greatestjournal.com
user: Dark_Mousy

That's about it. ^^;;

-Arissa

.. In a room with no windows..
Konichiwa minna-san!

Its been an interesting past few days. Yesterday I was supposed to go on stage with a few friends in fron of the whole school, and sing and dance around singing Rudolph in Japanese.. The WHOLE school wiht people who could actually sing and dance.. Gah, I got so freaked out I didn't go on with them. I'm sure they are pissed off at me but hey.. Whatever, I can't even stand in front of my class and talk! Well, i'm glad I didn't go because the school screwed them into the ground anyways. They were told they had to hold mics and they wouldn't play a CD in the background for them. Well they got up there, and they mics were on stands.. They began to sing, and what do you know? The song started... Theyw ere a bit freaked out after that so, they went with the song but all of them were off on the dancing and stuff.. >>; I felt so bad for them. ^^;; But anywho. I was watching "My Life as a Teenaged Robot" last night on Nick. xD And the whole episode she spoke in Japanese, it was awsome!!!! =3 Anywho. I'm going to beg my mom to take me to the Strip again with Miki-chan and Amanda-chan! Ja mata ne!

Alyssa

...
Oi..

-_- .. Damn I hate being on my period.. I get really depressed, cry over anything, my back hurts, and I get moody and cranky.. I cleaned my room from 2 till about 6.. I wanted Amanda to spend the night.. But she can't.. Oh well, I've had my tiny break down for the day.

Belated happy Turky day everyone. Nyo. Yesterday started out horrible.. My mom got defensive over nothing, which led to a fight, which led to us crying.. And complaining about our.. "Family".. They aren't much of a family. Keh.

But after that we went to the Las Vegas Strip. It's so pretty. We ate at the Sahara Hotel.. Moved on to the MGM where we pigged out on fudge at this candy shop there, we played some DDR. We saw Gothika, very scary movie btw, and got MC D's french fries. Yum. So it didn't turn out that bad in the end. Hm, that's about it. My life sucks, I'm lame, and periods suck, this is Alyssa over and out.

-Alyssa

Bring on the men, and let the fun begin, a little touch of sin, why waste a minute...
o_o Hey everyone.

I just got back from my school play.. They preformed "Jekyll & Hyde -- The Musical" and damn was it great. It was more then worth 15 bucks.. I was REALLY impressed. I love my school.. -sighs- It was really good.. Going to a preforming arts school is great. Ya know? Too bad it was closing night, because I'd love to see it again. Ah! Plus I got to oogle at Will.. -groan!- I love him!! >>; .. He's so hott. Awe, damn the Seniors.. -longing sigh inserted here!- .. But yeah.. Anywho. I had a great time, they were amazing. The play got a B+ by the toughest critic in the city. Hm.. But that's about it for an update.. -.o I uh.. Worked on a project from 4pm to 10pm last night.. And I'm still not finished... Yeah. That's my life. =3 That's all.

Ja mata ne,
Arissa

Murr..
Oi..
-yawns- Hm, I stayed home from school today.. I didn't get much sleep last night.. I dun really have any update.. I have such a boring life.. o.o; .. Yep.. That I do. -looks around- .. Ok, well.. I updated.. And I have nothing more to say in this post. Ja ne minna-san.

-Arissa

From a world that is closing it's wings foreshadows the destiny which spins..
Well, I haven't updated in a while so here it is. Nothing is really going on. My mom got a new computer about two weeks ago that she has been hogging because it's hers. Feh. But she'll be getting me a new computer soon. So whatever.. Brr. I'm so cold. It rained here today.. That makes me happy.. It rained ALL day. Something new. So Katie and I just got back from "puddle jumping" which involved us running, jumping, and making the puddle splash as high as possible which also resulted in us coming home soaked litterally head to toe. Fun fun. Eeee! I love the music for DNAngel. I've been on a download spree with it. But yeah.. I got my grades for last quarter!! I'm so proud of them!! Time to show them off:
Japanese: A
Art: A
PE: A
Health: C
Algebra IA: B
Theme: B
English: C
Biology: C
Yeah.. I have eight classes. What fun.. Singing Christmas carols in Japanese is fun too. Hehe. Alright, I've ranted and raved enough. That's about it for my boring life. I think I caught a cold and an ear ache, so I'm out! Ja mata ne.

-Alyssa

You kiss me one, I'll kiss you twice..

Kooooooniiiiiiichiiiiiiiwaaaaaaa minna-san!!

Yes~! I'm s-o-o-o h-a-a-p-p-y! Know why? Of course you all don't but I'll
tell you anyways. ^^ Alyssa gets a four day weekend? Why you ask? Because my
state owns j00 and Amanda thinks she is a l33t |\|1|\|j4.. Hahaha, I'm so
funny... No... No I'm not.-rocks out to her Music Video- Wee! Fun fun.. Okies,
anywho.. Staff Development day is one of my favorite things for school. ;x Ku ku
ku ku. And then, "Nevada day" which just happens to be on Halloween..
Muafahahahahaha!!! So that makes it a three day week for me with only two days
to go.^^ Yes yes lucky me. Omfg. There was SUNLIGHT when I got to my bus stop
this morning! That's a miracle. xD .. Isn't it sad I rejoice over sun light in
the morning? Wee, Wednesday we're going to the animal shelter to look for a
kitten. ._. I wanted this Siamese kitty they had.. -le sighs- .. Oh well.
Amanda's gei.. She forgot to take the buttiful picture I drew for Jon.. John..
Er.. However you spell his name.. Geiness. Yep.. So... That's my boring life for
you all. Nice hm? Wee! I can't wait for Halloween. I get to be my kawaii
Inu-chan fer a day. x3 .. Awre.. I can't wait until AX '04.. And to get my
costume.. Dark Mousy.. Dakku Mousy.. Hahaha.. DNAngel is so cool. Yeah. -watches
her AMV a little.. Needs to quit getting distracted by it.- .. My school
Halloween Dance was Friday.. Cool.. Right? I know. ALYSSA HAS A SCANNER!!
FINALLY! -ish so happy- .. I have been on a scanning spree. xD .. It's taken me
four years to get a scanner. That is so sad. -crys herself a river..- This pepsi
got me hyper. CURSE YOOOOOU! ._.;; .... -draws to calm herself down- Okies. I'm
going to start looking for music from teh "Spiral" anime, and look for
kewl DNAngel music videos so I can oogle at Dark and Krad and dream about some
hot and passionate yaoi scene between the two. Ja mata ne minna-san.

                                                             
With love.. Always.

Alyssa

Aoi Aoi..

Oi Minna-san..



Time to update and ramble.. Well let me just say I did not enjoy my
weekend. It consisted of being around a girl I dislike and my Best friend
hurting my feelings continuously.. So much for a best friend..

For starters, Amanda, my best friend, brags about everything, has to out do
everything, and gets and does things but doesn't have to do anything for it. She
doesn't work for anything...

Well, Amanda, Liz (-cringes-), and Mickey (this kawaii~!! Japanese foreign
exchange student ) all went to the mall.. Alright, I didn't want to go, but it
hurt my feelings because I was having a bad day and started crying.. So Amanda
asked if I could go. And Liz said no.. Well, one, Amanda wouldn't have asked if
I hadn't been crying.. And two Liz said no. Note: my feelings get hurt rather
easy. Anyways.. So they left.. And three calls and 4 hours later, I was at my
Aunts house because Amanda still wasn't home. -.-; .. Finally she got a
hold of me.. And told me Liz and Mickey were spending the night too.. I got off
the phone and started crying.. Because I didn't want to see Liz.. Er, anywho..
They picked me up.. And we went to my favorite restaurant, but of course
I wasn't hungry.. So I spent the night with Liz.. ^^ Awre, but I really enjoyed
having Mickey around.. But once they left the next morning out.. I gave Amanda
my opinion.. I told her, "I don't think it's very fair that Liz can say no
to me going to the mall with you guys but if I said I didn't want Liz to spend
the night that wouldn't have made a difference.." .. And Amanda replies in
a bitchy tone, "Well it's no use crying now, what's done is done.." ..
So I went to the bathroom and started crying. ^^; Eh heh heh.. But we got over
it.. And I got to make an Anime Music Video.. Anyways.. The next few things I
know she didn't do on purpose, but it still hurt my feeling since I've been a
bit emotional lately.. But she may get to go to Japan next summer.. And
she kept on bragging about it!! And how cute Mickey was and blah blah blah..
Alright and one more thing I need to complain about.. She may use her Grandparents
address if they so she can go to Durango High School and learn Japanese.. First,
I worked hard to get into LVA to take Japanese and here she is cheating her way
into it.. Just a while back she was complaining about leaving LVHS and maybe
having to go to another school.. Well if she is going to go to another school
why not go to LVA with me so she'll know someone.. Now that REALLY hurt my
feelings.. That she wouldn't even consider going to LVA next year.. u.u But
she'll go to a High school where she doesn't know anyone.. Yar.. See, she
doesn't have to work to get anything.. She gets a free trip to Japan.. And me?
I'm working to learn the language right now and I've decided after buying my
next Cosplay Costume I'm going to slowly start saving money so when I get out of
High School I can go there.. Keh, and today she was talking about going to take
a tour at an Anime Studio in Japan.. Well friggin' good for her.-sighs- I've
obviously been needing to blow a little steam off.. And I'm not done, funny, hm?
Well, the Renaissance Festival is this weekend.. Last year Amanda and I dressed
up and went together.. We had tons of fun.. But guess who she wants to go with
this year.. Liz and Mickey... -wipes her eyes- >>; Just thinking
about it is going to make me cry.. I guess I'm just not fun enough to go with
this year.. Or she just doesn't want to go with me.. Keh.. AND I have to see Liz
on Halloween.. You know, it's my holiday, why should I see that stupid cow
anyways? -shakes her head- alright, I'm barely off the tip of my ice burg but
I'm going to stop.. I'm tired of complaining... -yawns- Ja for now Minna-san..

Alyssa

I feel your love, reflection..
-yawns-
Yay.. Depression has finally kicked in. u.u; Bah.. Nothing really happened today.. It's Sara's birthday, Happy Birthday ho. Well.. My math teacher is back.. She was gone most of last week. u.u She was pregnant.. But she had a miscarriage.. I almost started crying when she told us.. -is emotional- o.o; .. Yar.. ;-; I feel bad for her! And we got scheduel changes... Joy.. I'm now in an English class which I know NO one in.. And a PE class that has the same status.. In my English I had my best friends at school with me.. And PE I knew EVERYONE.. u.u So need less to say I've been a bit pissed off all day.. I really really like my classes.. Enough from me. A short post for a change. I'm going to try to get Will to leave me alone. Ja mata ne minna-san.

Alyssa

Tonight she'll find out how fuckin' tough is this man, pulls the trigger fast as she can.. Never again.
-.-; Oi, minna-san.

Arissa ish having a verreh bad day. You should all take pity on her. -_o What happened your asking? Everything..

Well, I have to get up at 5 every morning so I'm sure you can see what my mornings are like.. Esspecially Mondays. The only plus to this morning was I got to see Katie.. She has to ride the bus all week.. Ha ha. But because she was on the bus, I didn't get to sleep, I was too busy talking to her. -.-; So I was uber-tired all day.. Well.. This morning wasn't really that bad.. I was busy showing off my realleh good Angel Sanctuary Setsuna and Kira yaoi that I drew. :3 .. But that's beside the point.. I'd say it all started during lunch when, for the second time in 4 days, I pour Ranch down my front, and on everyone around me in the lunch room. ^^ Yeah, I'm so cool.. Oh, and right before lunch I found out my friend, Misty, got a class change because our teacher added another Geo Class for Jap II students so he seperated J I and J II. So I don't have any classes with her. I also don't have english with my friend Jessica.. So I won't get to see her much. u.u; .. Bah. Then in Biology I poured dirt all over my in the lab because I was the only one really working at first. Then my friends being idiots, knocked over the cup of dirt and water and got that on me, the ground, themselves (slightly), and the counter.. Guess who got to clean it up.. ^^ Good job. Me! -.-; Need less to say I was a little annoyed. Then my Biology teacher yelled at e for working on our Lab Reports while he was talking.. he didn't tell us to stop working while he was talking, don't know what got his fucking panties in a bunch. And on the bus, I pulled out my Evanescene CD, and found it was smashed, it has two HUGE cracks.. So my favorite CD doesn't work. Yeah, I almost started crying.. And my friend, Corina, has been acting weird.. She has been acting like she wants nothing to do with me anymore. O.o; And I don't know if I did something to her or what.. She had a bug crush on my at the beginning of the year, and then suddenly stopped really saying anything to me.. Yeah, it's nice she doesn't have a crush on my anymore.. but still. u.u; So I tried talking to her on the bus today and she was too busy with conversations with her other friends.. So I give up on her.. So I was really depressed on the bus, I just sat there very quiet.. On the bus for me to actually go home, I just had it so I finishedmy lab report, and went to sleep until we got to the Bus Stop.. I felt bad leaving Katie there alone but oh well.. She got over it. Home wasn't any better. I ahd t watch Foot Ball. Joy.. Then we went to Panda Express.. And once against I dumped food on my.. And dropped my cup.. And I was sitting there, waiting for my mom and grandma to finish eating, when my mom poked my boob, and pointed out some where during my meal I got even MORE food on me.. u.u; And on a fish net shirt, of all things.. So they dropped me off at home, and are at the store at the moment.. not even 5 minutes home, I found Aki got into some chicken.. I fixed that, ran up the stairs with my soda in my hand.. And fell.. Spilled the soda, and slammed my head.. I have a headache right now.. u.u I hit my head, hard.. So I laid at the top of my stairs crying for a while.. And finally got Online.. Not to mention me and my mom kept fighting yesterday.. I haven't been having a very good past 4 days.. Oh yes..

And my InuYasha wasn't here today.. how disappointing..

Also.. Congrats to Amanda's aunt Kayoko, who gave birth to a baby boy today at about 1 pm.. Though I don't know her.. Still, congrats..

And AGAIN. Jappy birth Jon who doesn't have a computer and will never see this and I don't even know. xD .. x3 I WILL meet Jon this weekend.. -will- ... -swears she will-

Okies.. enough ranting.. That should be enough for you to take pity on me. xD Luff yew all..

Alyssa