how is it that you
can manage to be so
perfect
you seem to be everything
that i want and you
dont even try
your eyes shine brighter
than the stars and
your smile can just bring
me to my knees
everytime i have any doubts
about anything your face
your presence can
make them all fade to nothing
and your face is all i need
to see in the morning
and at night to know
that i am the luckiest
person ever and you were
the one to make it all
possible - written by Albert.
Dedicated To Clinton.

I'll Bite My Tonge Again Today..
Push These Feelings Down..
I Try To Hide How I Feel..
And Yet It Doesn't Work..
I Hide Behind This Smiling Face..
But The Tears, They Still Show..
I'm Screaming On The Inside, And No One Can Hear..
No One Helps..No One Cares..
No One Knows How I Hurt..
And It's So Obious This Is All For You..

BLAME ME, BLAME EVERYTHING ON ME. I FUCK EVERYTHING UP. JUST BLAME IT ON ME.. I FUCKED IT UP..I MISS HIM SO MUCH, AN DIM NOT TALKING ABOUT BILLY.
BYE EVERYONE..

I'm over him, finally over the one I've loved for almost 2 straight years..BUT.. my feelings have gone toward someone else..that doesnt have those feelings for me..*cries* I'ts sadening knowing that I'm right..It's better to go thru the pain now rather than latter when it will hurt even worse. I tryed today at school.. I about cryed at lunch.. the tears were in my eyes waiting to fall but i stopped them. It's Hurts. Hurts real bad. Goodnight. I love you Kate.. And Joe.. you've helped alot. :)

I hate the way you look at me.
And the way you act so weird.
I hate the way you have no clue.
I hate it when you're far, not near.
I hate your stupid everything.
And the way you have no fears.
I hate you so much it makes me sick-
It even makes some tears.
I hate the way I talk to you.
I hate it when you're mad.
I hate it when you make me happy.
Even worse when you make me mad.
I hate it that you're just my friend.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.
Not even close, not even a little bit.
It's just not fair.

Thats a poem i wrote to a certain someone July 15.. I still mean everyword of it..and I'm sorry..

sitting with Neilee eating apple *good fucking* pie and ice cream. Looking for something to do. Since SOMEONE forgot there video camera. yup.. gonna go now.. Byes...

Sitting here, waiting for Josh to get online so I can talk to him. I havent wrote in a while so I thought I would in my spare time. I enjoy being singel, not having to worry about feeling guilty for kissing another guy or checking another guy, but then again, I hate it. Being alone..not having someone call you everyday, ya know. yeah..well im gonna go now.. I'll call Josh or something. Everyone have a goodnight.

-Die for love-
I sit in the park where I dwell
For this boy I love so well
He took my heart away from me
Now he wants to set me free
I see a girl on his lap
He says things to her he never said to me
I ran home to cry on my bed
Not a word to mother was said
Father came home late that night
He looked at me from left to right
He saw me hanging from a rope
He took his knife to cut me down
And on my dress a note was found:
Dig my grave Dig it deep
Dig my grave From head to feet
And on the top place a dove
And remember this, I died for love….

i miss him, more than ever before. I'll always love him, i know hes the one..hopefully someday we will together. Have the perfect life. 1 baby boy and 2 wonderful jobs. A beautiful house and a great family. Our kid has friends like my friends i have now. I miss him. I hope he understnds that i love him and always will. It's been 1 year and 2 months and 4 days. I've loved him for more than 2 years. Thats why i cant keep a relationship going for longer than mine and his..I always end up thinking of him, him holding me instead of the person im going out with. its just not right...tell me thats not love. 2 years and 8 months I've loved him..tell me thats not love,DAMNIT!

yeah sittin here thinkin' bout josh and how attractive he is. Yet, still thinking about that certain person that i wish i wasn't. Just got home from DeAnna and Brads house. Brads kool, he may be a whore but hes really kool.
86% of 14 year olds are sexually active... Thats terrible! how worse can that get! And no im not onf of those 14 year olds.. even thou im 15. but yeah..I love you neilee. Im going to wait from him to appear online...try to make my miserable life a little happier.
Goodnight and SweetDreams everyone.

Hey, Im at my cousins hosue with Lorna and Mia and obiously my cousin.. I love her. My bestest friend! We seen ELF today, i was alright.. I get to see josh tomorrow.. hes soo hott! Blakes gonna be here to but hes retarted so is chuck! But yeah im gonna go have fun with all my cousins friends! Peace.. Much love james

so yeah..hows everyone? im alright.. just eatin some chicken stuff... im bored, i need to find something to do.. Watching some gay commercail about speakers..But I love you Neilee and Kate..And James..And Jenny...Byes..You need to email me james...i like reading stuff bye