i love when christmas is in the air. the smell of burning fire places, houses decorated with tacky santa claus faces and smiling snow men... i love it. having someone i really care about to spend it with this year is also just, amazing to me. i love my family and all, but knowing that i have someone to spend christmas eve with, other then my mom, is actually really making me look forward to it. i still have lots of christmas shopping to do tho, and not nearly enough time to do it. finals are putting a damper on my holiday enthusiasm as well. they'll be over soon enough, but for the time being i feel the need to bitch and complain to the absolute max.

joe has been singing the same line from the same song since about 1:00 this afternoon. it's now 12 am and he's still singing it to me. i'm pretty sure these lyrics will be forever branded into my mind. it's a good thing it's a song i like...

"light a candle for the dead, the wick is burning returning what we've had."

happy holidays to everyone, i hope this weekend brings you only good times and will make many happy memories.

to all the ghouls and gals who still run from door to door, pillow case in hand, doing tricks and treats for candy, happy halloween. as for us who are no longer able to get the creepy candy fix, happy halloween to you too. i hope you're spending the evening with your own share of chocolate and sugary goodness and plenty of cheap horror flicks, i know i sure am.

on another note, it's safe to say that i'm a different person now and i'm pretty sure it's for the better...

...look mommy, i'm all growed up now...

so a funny thing happened last week...
joe and i were nominated for homecoming court simply because people knew we weren't going to go so they thought that would be the best way to make us. so friday rolls by and they read in last hour who all made the court. they read the girls names first and mine wasn't read so i'm thinken whew, ok i'm in the clear. then they read the guys name's and "joe hart" comes over the intercom. everyone looks at me then at the intercom and i just died laughin. he's been chosen every year now and never has he actually wanted to do it. so i still don't think we're going because i know he really doesn't want to, just find it funny that the person who probably wants to go the absolute least is the one that's always chosen. my baby's such a stud.

two months on monday. hooray.

Act your age:	only when i have to
Born on what day of the week:	i think it was a sunday
Chore you hate:	vaccuming
Dad's name:	kurt
Essentail make-up item:	eyeliner and powder
Favorite actors/actresses:	johnny depp and ashley judd
Gold or sliver:	silver
Hometown:	st. louis (fenton)
Instruments you play:	i did play drums and i'm learning guitar
Job title:	student
Kids:	not for a while
Living arrangements:	with my mom
Mom's name:	laura
Number of socks you own:	not too many
Overnight hospital stays:	quite a while when i was born, maybe 2 or 3 nights for being sick/surgeries
Phobia:	spiders
Quote you like:	"i used to live in a room fill of mirrors, all i seen was me, well i can't stand it no more so i smash the mirror and set me free."
Religious affiliation:	kind of catholic
Siblings:	none
Time you woke up today:	2:30 pm
Unusual habits:	none of the food on my plate can touch
Vicious thing you've done:	umm
Worst habit:	i constantly say "i'm sorry"
X-rays you've had:	quite a few
Your favorite season:	summer
Zodiac sign:	gemini

[the alphabet survey] brought to you by BZOINK!

note to self: making out in drive ways is a bad idea. mothers are subject to come home unexpectedly and catch you in the act which then leads to relentless teasing.

so that boy joe and i are officially eachothers. it all went down at the 311 concert tonight. which was a damn good show by itself, having the boy i've been after become my boy was just an awesome added perk. i have a new love for the song "down."

i'll continue later. i am one tired girl. i'll be sleeping sweet, believe you me.

these summer nights only bring rain and heartache.
the events that have taken place in fenton, missouri this weekend have been absolutely ridiculous. parts of some nights were fantastic, and others i wish i could just erase from my memory all together. on the good side, that boy and i finally kissed. and I made the move. THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is a first. believe you me. just a sweet kiss goodbye, nothing more nothing less. it was however, completely perfect.
on a not so hot note, i ended my night tonight angry at some of my friends and with dave hickman bawling in my arms. seeing him cry was just, bizaar. he's not an easy person to crack, but i suppose learning your ex girlfriend may have been cheating on you towards the end of your relationship could have that effect. not to mention that she blatently lied about having another guy over tonight. i haven't seen dave in a good three months. tonight we just happen to run into eachother, talk for a while, exchange phone numbers, twenty minutes later i'm watching him crumble in my arms. i love dave, he's an amazing person and seeing him like that made me want to cry with him. i remember when i first met him and started to have this huge crush on him. i was the new, nervous sophmore and he was the wise crackin' senior everyone loved. that's all it ever was, and i never really thought we'd be close friends. a few months down the line, i'm the person he's coming to for relationship help. it's crazy how things work out. he called me again about an hour ago just to talk. i have a feeling i'll be seeing a lot more of dave. he's good people, i'm glad to know him because his character is so genuine. i like that. i like that a lot.
going back to that boy. joe, is his name. he's still confusing me like i never thought possible. i thought i was so sure of what i wanted. i was so proud of my self last night. and today, sitting in my car he whispered, "come here" and pulled me towards him only to kiss me like i haven't been in much too long of a time. i've kissed plenty of boys, some meaningful, most were just added to my list of regrets. but this one. this joe hart character, to be this caught up about it isn't like me. i think i'm falling in like and i know i'm lovin' every minute of it.

he makes me feel beautiful
me and this boy, we're always together. it all started out as good friends. and we still are, but i think there might be more to the story now. i know there is on my part, but he makes me wonder sometimes. he looks at me like no one ever has. he'll hold my hand and play with my hair. he'll tickle me or slip his arms around my waist or shoulders. we disagree with eachother and fight in a way that reminds me of an old married couple. i'm not entirely sure why we do it, we're never actually mad at eachother, just have no problem arguing. he always smells like cigarette smoke with a hint of calogne mixed in. a scent i always take home with me. his musical taste is beautiful, which has made us official concert buddies. he's kind of awkward and says his s's funny, but in an adorable, cute way. if we're not together, i find myself constantly wondering what he's up to, if he's thought about me that day. he has the ability to make me feel happy and carefree. but he also drives me absolutely crazy sometimes and i wonder why i put up with it. and then i remember it's because i'm absolutely crazy about him.

happy birthday to me...

so today's the day. the big 1-6. this new age was welcomed with angry phone conversatons and tear-filled eyes. i swear, sometimes i don't think my stupidity will ever cease to amaze me. i should have known better. i never do, but i always should. hopefully tomorrow will be better. going to pointfest, which is always a plus. lets just hope i'll be able to actually enjoy it.

i'm pretty sure i experienced every emotion known to mankind tonight. it all happened ridiculously fast too. "relationship" drama is the absolute worst and it decided to hit me all at once, and from every angle today. i was minding my own business, and very happily watching the get up kids play an amazing set and boom. it happened. one of those damn text messages that i'm disgustingly addicted to pops up on my phone from joe saying "so i heard anthony cheated on his girlfriend." he was apparently talking to lizz and they decided that since anthony and i hang out so much we must be messing around as well. and of course joe had to mention something about how i'm the person everyone's with when they wanna cheat on their girlfriends, and i don't mind because i'm such a shallow person. yep, that's me...completely heartless and a huge slut, let me tell you. people just make me want to shoot things sometimes. i didn't reply back in the nicest of ways, so i think he's a little mad at me. but whatever, he's over there telling me how shallow i am and whatnot. he's a big boy, he can take a little girl's sharp tongue. all this is happening while thrice played, which was ok because i'm not a huge thrice fan, but the angry yelling in the background helped the angry mood i was in , let me tell you. until i sat in gum and got it all over my new jeans, then i just kinda wanted to cry. but all was well when dash took the stage. all will always be well when that man sings. good god, what a voice. i suppose it was an ok night. kind of angry, but really chilled out at the same time. don't ask how those are both possible at the same time, but they are. trust me.

well i'm still alive...always a plus. last week of school before finals...even better. tho this is hell week, i'm glad it's almost summer. some pretty good concerts are coming through ol' stl. i do however need money to go to these concerts, and lots of it. so if anyone would like to make a contribution to the "send allie to good concerts fund" please, drop me a post. it will be greatly appreciated.

so, apparently there might be a shooting at my school tomorrow. i'm fairly positive i'll be skipping. but if i can't, and i die, i love you all.