time for an update
Figured if amanda isnt going to update i might as well. we had tickets for nine inch nails and a hurricane fucked that up. buzz bake sale looks like its going to suck so we are not going to bother. so we will go to christmas chaos tour. manda is doing pretty good with her job except they give her alot of over time and she doesnt get to see me for a few days sometimes. plus shes always tired maybe i should pump her full of sugar keep her ass awake. ok well what ever lets see if anyone reads this one...
~Mike~

Richard, were you watching spanktravision?
I got the job! I wont be making $9.50 like I thought, but I will be getting $8.75, still very good for a first job. I start this Monday, the only thing I don't like about the job is that I have to wear business attire, but it's worth it.
Mike picked up his new truck today. It's a '93 chevy s10 Blazer, and it's white. It runs really nice, and it's clean inside. It's a little bigger than his last one so it'll take some getting used to, but we both like it.
And speaking of cars I officially got to drive my car for the first time today. It took a little bit to get started because the battery in it isn't made for my car, it was just something to get it back to my house. It's '90 Nissan Maxima, and it's pearl white with a brown interior...and I love it! It's a graduation gift from my dad's boss, so it cost me nothing. Anyway, after we got it to start up I get to take it out and charge it up. It drives so smooth, and it has some real get-up-and-go. Ya just barely tap the gas and it wants to go, I love it.
Plus, now that I have a job I can finally go for my licence, I just gotta get my own insurance and everything now.
Hmm, what else?...Oh my friend Ashley is now married. Her boyfriend, Eric and her got married in June and have officially moved to Daytona. I hope everything works out for them and that we don't lose touch. But I got to be her maid of honor...kinda. They did the court house thing but I get to sign some papers as a witness and I am her best friend, so good enough :D. I'm so very happy for them.
Oh, and back in about...April I think My Omi's (Grandmother in German) house burnt down and now she and my uncle, his wife, and son have to live in this tiny little piece of crap until it's rebuilt, but her insurance company is giving her a hard time...it's a long story. But thank God no one was hurt.
Well, I can't think of what else so add but If I think of anything I can try and come back and edit, if not...like you care. So until then, buh bye.

hey stranger
It's been so long since I last updated and so much has happened since then. Some good and some bad.
Lets see...I graduated in May and finally made straight A's on my last report card, something I've been trying to do since my grade changed to actual letters and not just "S"'s.
In June my family, Mike, and I went on vacation to Orlando for the week, which was a lot of fun.
Mike got into a car accident Tuesday but thank God he's ok, although his truck isn't. He really loved that truck, but he's getting another one Saturday which is good, but now he's going to have a lot of stuff to pay off, and hopefully the lady in the accident wont sue him. We really can't afford that, especially since him and I are trying to save up to get a place of our own...although my parents completely hate the idea, but I'm sorry I love him and I want to start my own life.
Also, I might have a job...finally. I applied for a job at the company my mom works at and they'll call me tomorrow. If I get it I'll be making $9.50 an hour, not bad huh?
There hasn't been much else...well there has, but I'd rather not mention it, it just hurts too much.
Other than that I'm fine and looking forward to the rest of my summer, and with a job I'll be able to afford to go places...especially the local water park, anyone who knows me know that I love to swim, plus it'll be something Mike and I can do together.
Anyway, I think that's enough for now. I'll try to keep up with this thing but with all the stuff that's been happening, I've just been too busy. Although when you sum it all up on here it really doesn't sound like much...oh well. Until later, byes.

Prom Night
I meant to put this in earlier but oh well. You know how things are.
Saturday was prom night and although the music sucked, as the night went on I had fun. I know Mike was uncomfortable in his tux, but I kept telling him he looked good.
The only think I was disappointed with was the music. All they played was rap, and very very few slow songs, and even those were rap like. I went up to the DJ asking him to play Slipknot-Vermillion pt.2 since it's kinda slow, and he didn't have it, so I went back to Mike and got another song title from him, the DJ didn't have that either but he promised me he'd play something similar and slow. So I said ok and went to sit back down...he didn't playing anything like that, 2 more slow rapish songs, and then back to the up beat stuff. Mike and I just left.
But when we got back to Mike's house he put a cd in the truck, turned it up and he slowed danced with outside. I don't mean to sound mushy, but him doing that for me...i can't even describe how much it meant to me.
Anyway, when we got back to my house it was about 3 am exhausted.

I think that's about it, if I forgot anything I'll add it later, and if I figure out how to I'll post some of the pics up. So until then, bye.

Fuck yea!
Yea, yea. I know I haven't posted for shit in forever but I've just gotta post about last night.

Last night, March 22nd of 2005 I went to my first Slipknot concert, and I say my first because I intend to go to many more now.
At first I just bought the tickets for Mike's birthday, but God it was incredible. I was afraid he wouldn't have as much fun with me around since he knows...everything about them, but he looked pretty happy all the same.
The opening acts were alright but Slipknot was far better.
I left with my feet hurting like hell, my voice cracking a lil bit, and extremely tired...but I'd do it again in a heart beat. Poor Mike nearly lost his voice completely. Can't blame him. Hell, if I knew all the lyrics I might have too.

I was also pissed at first, not really important but for the sake of taking up space I'll mention it. One of the people I hate most was there and she got better seats then us. I wished I could have gotten better seats for him, this was his birthday present. Anyway, I hated the idea of having her in my view, not sure if he noticed or not. But after slipknot came on and the lights were out I didn't care anymore, I couldn't see her anymore so I just had fun.
Something else I just thought of, I think Mike now knows how I feel when ever she's mentioned. I can just mention Gareth and he'll know. Gareth isn't one of my friends, I hate him too, but he made stupid comments about me and Mike like she did and he hates him now.

Anyway, back to the concert....God I had so much fun, I wanna go back, I wanna do it again. Also I wish I could have gotten a shirt. I took out $20, and turns out the cheapest shirt they had was $25...damn. Oh well too late now, doesn't do any good to regret now.
Well, I think that's about it so I'm gunna jet, besides my cereal is getting all mushy now. Later guys.

Merry Christmas
Now I know it's been a while since I was last on, the site updated quite a bit. Well, it's Christmas break so I should have more time to update if anyone cares to read anymore.

Since I last updated it's just been the same ol' things happening, except for Christmas I got to be in Tampa with Mike. Which was nice because I got to meet his Mom. She was so sweet. But I'd have to say my favorite part of the trip was falling asleep in his arms, as corny and sappy as it may sound to most people...it's just a feeling I didn't wanna let go of. That and I didn't have my parents breathing down my neck the whole time. But it was only for one night, my parents just wouldn't let me stay longer. Something about it being immoral, but it's ok for him to sleep at our house. I guess it's just immoral when they're not around to watch over.

The only time I felt uncomfortable at Mike's mom's house was whenever you walk into the bathroom, there was always the fear of seeing a spider or two. Now, I have no problem with bugs, I'm not the kind of girl who will squirm and scream like a sissy every time I see a bug, but on the other hand...I hate spiders, I can't help it. I guess I have a bad case of Arachnaphobia.

Anyway, I can't wait until Mike gets back home. While I had to come back home Sunday, he has to stay until the 2nd, which is another week without him. I miss him already and I only saw him yesterday.

Anyway, my 18th Birthday is also coming up, on the 13th. Hopefully it will be a happy birthday and not be like all the years past.

Guess I'll cut this entry short, I'm just not in the mood to type right now, plus I gotta get my room clean. It's a mess. I guess that's to be expected when 3 people are living in and out of it (me, Mike, and my little brother Danny) They have the playstation hooked up in there so all their games and dishes and everything else is in there. Hopefully Dan will help. Anyway, I'm not going to bore you anymore so I guess until next time, byes.

Times I wish I could fall asleep...and not wake up.
And I do sometimes. You don't feel anything when you're asleep. It's all fake.

I don't know what my deal today is. I'm convinced I have Bipolar. I haven't gone to a psychologist or any kinda of doctor or anything (although my Mom suggested it...guess that's what you get for trying to tell them what goes on in your head, huh?) Anyway, I don't need to pay hundreds of dollars for them to tell me I'm depressed. Thanks, I'm not that stupid, I think I know. Anyway, ever since the thing with dad and the first Mike (I am NOT getting into that) my mood just changes. Sometimes I just wake up and is so depressed. Like now...I'm so depressed I can't even tell you. But I feel incredibly stupid about it. I hate feeling this way, because I don't have a reason to be. The feeling is just so overwhelming sometimes...and Mike just left. It's Friday...he doesn't have to leave until 12, but little Jess called and they're gunna go do stuff with Andy (I saw it coming, honest I did) I just...I didn't want him to go, not while I was feeling like this. When I feel this way I love to have him here and just hang on to him. But instead he thinks I'm mad at him for leaving, which I'm not...I just, I don't know.
Don't think Mike's a bad guy or anything, he made sure I was ok before he left, telling me he loves me and things like that, which is nice. It helps. My pillow still smells like him...God, if I cry again I'm gunna hurt myself. This is nothing, nothing happened, suck it up! Fucking A.

You see, you have to understand something about me. I hate being weak, and having this just pisses me off more. It's pure weakness. I feel weak when I cry, when I'm not strong enough, and I'm beaten, and just things like that. I need to be strong, I want to be strong. But when I feel like this, it just defeats the whole purpose.

Ok, change of subject. We have another Hurricane heading our way. Fucking great. Hurricane Jeanne. Probably another 2 or more weeks without power in my future. You all enjoy your power while you have it. Bastards.

Screw this, I can't do this right now, I've got anger and depression all built up right now, so I'm just going to bed early. Mmm....sleep. Sweet, painless sleep.

Oh journal, it's been so long.

Today, I've been depressed and I don't know why...but then when something bad happens I feel even worse.

Yesterday one of my favorite bike customizers died. Indian Larry. While doing one of his famous stunts he lost control of the bike and crashed, he died in the hospital of a head injury. I wanted so much to meet him...guess I never will.

"And if I'm called away and it's my turn to go,
Should the blood run cold in my veins,
Just one favor I'll be asking you,
Don't bury me here it's too cold,
Take me back,
Carry me back,
Down to Gasoline Alley where I started from."
- Indian Larry
1949 - 2004
You will be missed...

On another note my homework this week sucks. For Government class I have to watch all four night of the republican convention and takes notes...which isn't all that bad, maybe I'll learn more about it. But the thing is Mike (what else, right?) The convention ends around 11 each night, our curfew. I was hoping he could come over before it starts so I get to see him, but he's been spending all his time with Andy. I saw him Monday, but only for 20 mins when he picked me up from school. I was hoping he'd stay at my house...but he didn't, he went back home. Maybe I'm just over reacting...but I just wanna see him. I don't think I want him to see this though...I haven't updated in so long he hasn't thought to look and check, so he probably wont read this anytime soon. Which is good, because I don't want him to come over out of pity. I don't need pity, I'm tired of people giving it to me.

Well, I have less than hour until homework time...so I'm just gunna grab something to eat. Maybe I'll update more later. Until then, bye.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nothing else really happened except that Mike didn't spend all his time at Andy's. He surprised me and came over, and since I was doing my government homework, Mike got to stay an extra half an hour...which isn't a whole lot of time, but it was nice of dad to say yes.

There's a hurricane heading our way. Hurricane Francis, so tomorrow is a half day because of it and we have Friday off. And Monday is a holiday anyway. Mom will absolutely not let us go Thursday...which I'm not complaining. I have a 5 day weekend now. But that's about it...I hope everyone will be ok when the storm comes.

Anyway, I'm a little tired so I'm gunna catch a nap quick. See ya.

1st day back to school
Today was the first day back to school...a black, black day. And today is my puppy's birthday (Rollie), he's now 3 years old.

Anyway, back to school. it sucked. When I first got my schedule I only had 6 classes, so I'm figuring that I have no 7th hour, and I can leave early. Nope, turns out I don't have a 4th hour. So I went to the wrong class, which wasn't a big deal but I forgot to see what my lunch was since I turned out to have a different class. So I basically skipped my 5th hour...not on purpose, but oh well. I just went to all three lunches. I have C lunch, and it turns out that's the one I don't want. The only person I knew in there was AJ...and I don't wanna tag along with him if that's his lunch too (he went to all 3 too). Ya know what?....the way I'm typing this out might be very confusing...sorry.

But other than all that my classes aren't bad. I have 3 art classes which is good.

Oh and after school my bus never showed up. So me and this other kid (Danny) are about to walk home, but then my dad called and came and got us. Good, I didn't feel like walking that far.

But I think that's about it...I got my senior pictures back today...I don't really care for them...oh well. I'll try and add more later if I can, if not I'll try to update tomorrow. Until then, bye.

2 weeks?...dammit
Well, Mike left Royal Palm about 4:30(ish) am Sunday morning...and of course I couldn't sleep. So Sunday kinda sucked...except for a few things...but I still miss him.

After church my Mom took me to the mall wanting to get me and Dan something for school (which starts this weds...shit! No!) and while we were there, we went and looked at the cell phone we wanted at Cingular, but that one was just too expensive right now, then we went over to Verizon...hmm a little expensive too. So we left...but after my Mom thought about it we went back and bought two new cell phones. I finally have one for school and things like that.

After we got back home we went down to my Aunt's and hung out there...but we were there later than I wanted to be, oh well.

Anyway, there's not much else going on...except missing Mike like crazy. Today though feels weird. I feel like I'm supposed to go, or do something today...but I can't think of a thing. Hmm I dunno.

I think that's about it, for now anyway. I'll try and add some stuff later, and maybe Mike will add something, since he has access to a computer. We'll see. So until then all, byes.