PHONE!
I got a phone now. So that 2 month no phone thing is finally over with. same number as before. 890-7655. so yeah call me again. and i can call you again. im back in the network kids!.

The list is getting longer but the base is getting stronger
My car is fixed.
Cellphone Still Lost.
Still owe the bank money.
Still in debt with credit cards
Still working one shitty job
Still Living at my dads house.
Still alone.

(Ive got some problems to work on)

(but at least one of them is solved)

Down And Out
When we give up and fall down
When we run out and give up
Everything ends up with us giving up?
Everything Ends up...UP
so thats a plus right?

I think so. Everything we do ends up being a positive statement on our record. Which we all seem so god damn concerned with. I think we all should just slow down a little bit. like me as well hardcore. Everyone is trying to accomplish things that they dont really want to. just because they feel like they are running out of time to do so. TAKE YOUR FUCKING TIME. we are going to be around for a LEAST another 60 years. so lets fucking use that time to take things slow and do what we want. dont work too hard. and dont spend too much time day dreaming. but do make time for laying in the grass and pretending the clouds are still magical. hug the warm air and play in the snow after dancing in the rain. just have fun. Slow down. and shut up most of all lol. *hugs* just something to think about.

sex lies, and video tapes stream.
Tired of dreaming.
But too tired to wake.

its getting real fucking old...

Little bits And pieces of clouds.
Its been raining all day. on and off. then steady. now its raining.

I fucking love the rain it allows you to stop and think.
i went to the park alone and sat (not morely) a cop came up behind me and asked what i was doing out here.

Me: "trying to clear my head"
Cop: "troubling isnt it?"
Me: "yes it really is, especially when you cant decided on whats worth leaving and whats worthing taking"
Cop: "maybe i should just take your I.D. run it and let you sit"
Me: "that would be nice"
Cop: "ill be back"

(She runs my I.D. and all is well)

Me:"Thank you officer, Have a good night"
Cop: " you too matt, and remember something for me."
Me: "yes?"
Cop: "Whats left to lose?"

I stood stunned and in complete and utter awe at what just happen.
As she walked back to her car and took off all i could to what sit there and stare into the fucking trees as the rain picked up and fell warmer.
It was like i had been trapped in a fucked up movie.
it was perfect. It was honestly the answer i was looking for for so long.
But who was she? Why did she tell me that?
Why would she say that?
Why wouldnt she just be like get on out of here or something else rude and cop like?

Why did she tell me that profound truth?

Maybe she was sent to me from something or somewhere.

either way it was interesting and felt great to sit in the rain and think alone and clear my head of thoughts with a little assitance

BTW Becky, Run with the passing of the torch my dear. Run fast and dont stop.

Truth Be Told

God Damnit I Am Sexy!!!





Tuesdays @ 9pm at the wireless cafe The I.A. performs 3$ cover charge

Wednesdays @ 9pm at the wireless cafe the I.A. performs 2$ cover. (there is also an open mic that night after we perform if you like to listen to fucking retarted emo kids.)

Thursdays @ 9pm at The Eastown Hookah Lounge the I.A. performs
5$ cover charge
HALF OFF HOOKAHS!!!!
3$ fun fingerfood buffet.
Comedy and hookahs ....what could be better.

Way Before There Was Goodness
So, things are interesting around my head.

Life seems to be looking sideways. not up not down but the complete opposite direction. life is going to blow out my tire but then repair it with an allignment problem.

Tuesdays @ 9pm at the wireless cafe The I.A. performs 3$ cover charge

Wednesdays @ 9pm at the wireless cafe the I.A. performs 2$ cover. (there is also an open mic that night after we perform if you like to listen to fucking retarted emo kids.)

Thursdays @ 9pm at The Eastown Hookah Lounge the I.A. performs
5$ cover charge
HALF OFF HOOKAHS!!!!
3$ fun fingerfood buffet.
Comedy and hookahs ....what could be better.

PLEASE HELP!!
Ok everybody i need you all to do me a huge favor TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY!!!!

I need everyone to post back to this with a short bio about me. i need to write a bio about myself to put in the on the town magazine when they do their article about the I.A. and i cant for the life of me think of what to write.

SO PLEASE HELP!!!

if you could please post back ASAP about this that would be great so i can start thinking about what youve all wrote or even just use whatever you wrote for the article

PLEASE DO THIS GOD PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

In Deed The Snow Comes
So i was thinking about how things seem to add up in time.

But i dont want to wait anymore><

I'm impatience when it comes to making things work lol.

I want my money and i want my TOTAL freedom.

the end of the storm
So at the end of a storm when everything is dead and cold and wet...but it looks like the world might just be ending or just being born for the first time. thats when things start to get in your head. you think and think until it festers inside you and burns away till it slips out in the wrong form. but you try so hard to use that energy to change someone. to help give them the guidance they seek. i tried to help someone begin the deconstruction process to a better and more them, them. a real you a perfect image of what you want yourself to be. NOT ANYTHING ANYONE ELSE WANTS! but it was too much for him so he ran from it...who gives up on wanting to change themselves when someone is trying to give them the beggings to questions they must ask to begin their work? you cant change someone. you can affect them enough for them to want to change themselves. and i was doing that. even if he questioned himself once thats enough for me and i did what i set out to do. but being told it means nothing and living fake is fun...thats what makes me think about the end of a storm when it all seems like it was worth nothing...but its always worth far more than we can begin to imagine. so i did as much as i could. and i didnt push. he asked i answered his questions. everyone should deconstruct themselves. i did the end of tenth grade. you all know how much cooler and nicer and happier i was at the begging of junior year right? thats when i became the whetzel everyone seems to have fallen in love with. deconstruction did this for me. as it should for everyone. and deconstruction is different from self destruction please know that. if anyone ever wants to begin deconstruction you know where to fine me hehe. but always remember. never stop asking questions and never stop talking ever. no matter what. and dont ever lie to yourself. never. remeber this always. outy my loves.