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Eddy

:: 2006 7 September :: 5.57pm


Haha. HIM singing Backstreet Boys' songs. Great stuff. =P

2

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chelthesmell

:: 2006 6 September :: 3.43pm

We got a new puppy today!! My mom found it at my sister's house. It's addorable! He's so cute. I dont know what to name him. He looks like either a Hendrix or a Pink Floyd. But then again I see a little Zepplin and Marely in him too so I'm still not sure. But he's really tiny and cute, maybe we'll name him Adulf or Satin.

ohmy gosh my mom and I just came up with it!!! LUSIFER!! that' his name! it's a keeper!

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Eddy

:: 2006 6 September :: 4.39am


You know you're suffering from lack of sleep when you try to shut off your tv with your remote car starter.....

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chelthesmell

:: 2006 5 September :: 8.38pm
:: Mood: annoyed

I am the bigger person...
On my birthday, my 2nd oldest sister, Sarah did not call me or anything to let me know that she either remembered nor cared that it was my special day. But today is her birthday and I called her to say hi and wish her a good day and ask her how she was doing. I let her know how I was doing and whatnot. I wish I wasn't so nice because she really doesn't deserve to be wished a happy birthday. We haven't seen her sense christmas, with the exception of the 2 times she came threw drive thru. She didn't call on mothers day (though my mom is her step mom but she has been a better mother than her real one), didn't call on both my sisters' and my brother's birthdays, or on father's day. My dad is still really upset about that one. But after all of that, I still gave her a call on her birthday. Not to be big headed or anything, but I am a much better person than her. Even when I think I dont care, I really do and I show it. Last year she didn't come to my birthday party but I went to her graduation party that her boyfriends family held for her where I was introduced to everyone as the half sister which really pushed my buttons. and they only held that for her because she didn't want to go to the one that we threw for her...yeah...she didn't even come to her own party. We still had a party though and just turned it into a going away party when we were moving out of our house. But I dont understand how someone who is 33 years old can be so distant for their family when they only live few minutes away. My dad feels like it's all his fault but she's just selfish and stubburn, just like dad. They both need to suck it up and talk about their problems because this is rediculous. I wish I knew my sister but I dont get the impression that she wants to get to know me. She's a different person than I am and very screwed up. She needs to figure out who she is before I can and she needs to choose what's more important, getting stonned or being with us...

1

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chelthesmell

:: 2006 3 September :: 9.11pm

I kinda just dont know what to think anymore...
But, I suppose I wasn't thinking from the begginning.
*shrugs*
And who really knows when the begginning started...?

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Eddy

:: 2006 3 September :: 1.50am
:: Music: Stephen Lynch

Ahhhhhhhh, baths make me feel so much better ^_^

Yay! I found someone to go see HIM with me! Im so excited! I didn't think I'd get to go cuz I didn't have anyone who would mind seeing HIM, but now I do! Yay!

As for Tuesday! The 5th! And the American Idol thing, It's starts at six, but we are going at 5 for good seats. It's free, so you don't have to worry about that. And ummm....I guess that's it. Let me know where you guys want to meet! I will probably end up being the one driving, so I gotta know. =)

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Eddy

:: 2006 2 September :: 3.55am

There's a hair on the soap and it's short and it's curly,
A hair on the soap and I don't think it's miiiiiiiiiiiiine.

2

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chelthesmell

:: 2006 1 September :: 9.50am
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: Promiscuous (how apropriete)

Gah, I have gas like something awful
I always put myself in these positions where i'm thinking "Man, what am I doing? I dont want this. This isn't right..." and all this regret mumbo-jumbo. But I never stand up for myself and get out of it. It's like secretly, I like that feeling. which is odd...who likes the feeling of regret honestly? It's just simply annoying. I keep saying this over and over, I need to grow up. And I hate repeating myself so I wish I would just do it already. I wish when I knew I didn't want something, I'd stop it from continuing, not going back for more.

This is wrong...and I know it. I'm going to lose a few of my great friends if I keep this up, and if I dont lose their friendship, I'll lose their respect. I really dont know which one is worse...







plus - fucking I hate work...!

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Eddy

:: 2006 1 September :: 3.35am


John Mayer and Jessica Simpson huh?

*sigh* I thought you were cooler than that John.....

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chelthesmell

:: 2006 31 August :: 10.55pm

The never ending party = My Utopia
I was told today that I should find where I stand with God. That I should get to know Him and let him know who I am. But I dont even know who I am myself. Shouldn't I find that out before I show him who I am? And what if there isn't a God, then I just wasted all that time trying to find him. It's like the never ending game of hide and go seek. And what about hell? Why does everyone have to go there? I mean, is it only Jesus and God in heaven? Because everyone is a sinner. No one is perfect. And everyone that tells me to find God and get saved are a bunch of hipicritical in my eyes. I bet 20 dollors that they dont follow all the ten commandments (which I also think is a buncha mumbo-jumbo). I mean noone does follow them. And if they do there is no way that they follow all of them. I dont know. I just find it rediculous. I mean, if we're all going to hell (if there is one) then it must not be that bad because come on, if everyone else is going there I want to go too because heaven would be boring and lonely. And who's to say there is a heaven or a hell? What if this is hell that we're in right now? I dont quite believe in heaven, I mean I dont really believe in anything at the moment but I think instead of going to heaven, everyone has their own little Utopia that they go to. I dont think someone deserves to go to hell let alone appologize for saying "God Damn" or "Jesus Fucking Christ". You only deserve it if you are like a murderer or a rapiest or something. And praying I think is rediculous unless it's needed. I dont pray, I feel rediculous when I do. It's like talking to air. And asking God for forgiveness? I dont get it...Why ask him to forgive me for that beer I drank last night when he hasnt asked for forgiveness when he let my grandma die of cancer, when he watched me get my heartbroken by that asshole, or yesterday when he turned his back as my car broke down in the ghetto? If I have to ask him to forgive me he should ask for forgiveness in return. Because yes I have to power to control my actions and what I do, but I dont have the power to cure illnesses or change the weather or anything. Thats another reason that makes me feel like there is no God. If there was, wouldn't he want his childern to be happy? I'd like to think so. I know my parents would do anything to make me and my sibblings happy, why doesn't he?

I pulled a Jesus fish off the bumper of my car yesterday in the burger king parking lot and I noticed a few funny glares from people, esspecially my friend Ashley (aka - Smashley). Why should I get dirty looks for not letting it look like I worship something that I dont? I dont want to give people the wrong idea. Thats like drawing anachry simbols when you're a republican, or having a "Freedom isnt free" bumper sticker when you live in China.

What brings this up is I had a kid that drinks almost everyday, does drugs, and has horrible permiscuous sex told me that I need to find my place with God. wtf? This kid thinks I'm just the anti-christ I think. I mean we're friends and all but he just assumes that I'm athiest and that I'm racest and all this. I think I just look like a kkk-nazi-athiest bitch to him or something. And that's not how I am. I'm not athiest or racest, I'm just opinionated...

I think if there is a God, I'd like to think that we're on good terms right about now. I stay out of His business, He stays out of mine. I dont ask Him for anything, He doesnt ask for much out of me either. It's an easy relationship to obtain.

1

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chelthesmell

:: 2006 31 August :: 10.11am

Fucking the Lebaron took a shit in my cheerios. God fucking damnit. now i'm late for work and i'm just wasting time so i'm even more late. oh fucking well i guess.

Good thing I have an awesome friend like Box to take care of me when i'm in danger though. lol.

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Eddy

:: 2006 29 August :: 11.54pm

Fields of Gold

You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we walk in the fields of gold

So she took her love
For to gaze awhile
Upon the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold

Will you stay with me, will you be my love
Among the fields of barley
We'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we lie in the fields of gold

See the west wind move like a lover so
Upon the fields of barley
Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth
Among the fields of gold
I never made promises lightly
And there have been some that I've broken
But I swear in the days still left
We'll walk in the fields of gold
We'll walk in the fields of gold

Many years have passed since those summer days
Among the fields of barley
See the children run as the sun goes down
Among the fields of gold
You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in the fields of gold
When we walked in the fields of gold
When we walked in the fields of gold


No matter what's wrong, this song always manages to put me in a good mood again. =) The melody, and the words, and just the overall feeling of it is so calming.

Thank you, Sting ^_^

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chelthesmell

:: 2006 29 August :: 9.23pm
:: Music: Tom Petty - You Got Lucky

So I got the internet back! yay!

Gravid and I might hang out tonight

Mindy and I will hang out tomorrow!


Yay! I'm just a happy girl...!=)

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chelthesmell

:: 2006 28 August :: 3.15am

So, the Lebaron is in the drive way. runs beautifully. we're best friends. yay! Mindy has yet to meet her yet though. lol. sucks to be her because the lebaron is awesome. yup....and thats just how cool i am for now.

2

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Eddy

:: 2006 27 August :: 9.05pm

Outing!

Who wants to go watch the American Idol auditions with me on the 5th at Fredrik Meyer Gardens? Sounds like fun, huh? =P

8

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Eddy

:: 2006 27 August :: 5.45pm

I don't think you trust,
In, my, self righteous suicide,

Why have you forsaken me,
In your eyes forsaken me,
In your thoughts forsaken me,
In your heart forsaken, me



P.S. I just found a Sarah Brightman (with Gregorian Chant) cover of a HIM song =S, not just that...the song happened to be "Join Me". Those of you who've heard that song will understand the strangeness.

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Eddy

:: 2006 26 August :: 12.41am

Today
Wow, crazy. Saw a bunch of people I knew at work today. Most of them people I haven't seen in forever. It was nice =)

In order, I saw:

Sandi
Drew Preston
Nate and Beth
Lunch Box and A.J.
and then finally, Bradley and Bonnie =)

I realized I miss a lot of my old friends. =( I still miss our giant group we all had, when everyone (at least openly) got along, and almost no one hated each other. lol. Oh well....reminiscence...

I hate you real world.

6

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Eddy

:: 2006 20 August :: 6.11am
:: Music: It's Raining on Prom Night

Ain't nothin' like cleaning the house at 6 in the morning while listening to the soundtrack to Grease and dancing.

Just because I can.

18

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Eddy

:: 2006 14 August :: 2.24am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Valo Yössä

Bleh

I got an unexpected call yesterday.

It made me feel good.

8

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chelthesmell

:: 2006 11 August :: 9.53pm

So, the car is dead. For sure this time. Going shopping for a new one Monday. Yay! I hate that car with every ounce of my soul. But yay! to getting a new one, poo for not getting it until monday because right about now I have no way to get anywhere and by the sounds of it, people I want to hang out with probably arent up to coming to get me. So yes, that fucking sucks but...*shrugs* what can you do? hopefully I'll find something fun to do tomorrow, I cant imagine staying home all weekend...that would be a nightmare. I dont even like thinking about it. Just the thought pisses me off.

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eddy

:: 2006 7 August :: 10.24pm

Okay. I feel a little better.

But I still hate you.

10

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eddy

:: 2006 7 August :: 8.39pm

I fucking hate you all.

I quit.

No matter how hard I try, no one ever seems to like me. So I give up.

I've been dropped, stepped on, ignored, and mostly just plain forgotten.

Well, I can do that too.

3

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eddy

:: 2006 7 August :: 7.29pm


Why do I care? It doesn't even matter.

I need to change this specific aspect of my being.

Who knows? It may produce better results.

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eddy

:: 2006 5 August :: 4.22am


Only one phrase can describe tonight.

Complete ego boost. =P

Definatley well needed, and well recieved =D

4

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eddy

:: 2006 24 July :: 10.59pm


I had a dream last night. I dreamt that I was really, truly, unconditionally loved. I woke up, and I've had this elated feeling all day. Kind of wierd isn't it?


And, for a short while today, I was Superman. Just trust me on this one. You might know what I'm talking about in the near future.

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eddy

:: 2006 18 July :: 12.53am

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

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eddy

:: 2006 17 July :: 7.48am


It's time to try defying gravity.




......I think I'll try defying gravity.



I hope you're happy in the end.

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eddy

:: 2006 17 July :: 7.16am


Strange....I just heard a Tenacious D impression....while watching baseball. Yeah....the announcer guy just busted out with a Tenacious D phrase, weird.

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chelthesmell

:: 2006 14 July :: 11.48pm

I blame myself for alot of things, because most of the time, they are my fault. I feel really bad about myself. I used to be all like "I'm sucha bad person" But I think I'm starting to except it all now. " *deep sigh* oh well. I'll grow up eventually and figure out what I want. Till then...who knows...?

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eddy

:: 2006 11 July :: 7.04pm

A real update maybe?

Not much has been going on lately. Been hanging out with friends, and even some old ones I haven't seen in a while. Work sucks, definately need a new job, going to go to Schuler's soon to see if I can get in there or not. That would be fun =) Ummm.....gee. I don't know. Don't really know what else to say. Got my computer about a week ago, She's pretty, and I love her. But sometimes I call it a he. Can computers be transvestites? Have to ask Joe about that one, hehe. And now I'm just rambling. So I'll stop. Later!

6

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