0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0
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2006 15 February :: 11.15pm
:: Mood: Still in shock, perhaps
:: Music: Waking Up Beside You -- Stabbing Westward
Compliments
Today.
Today I was told that I was too pretty to not have a boyfriend.
Do you know how amazingly wonderful that is to hear?
I was just liek.. "Wtf? No I'm not. XD"
And -- it was a guy, too, go figure -- he was liek "PSHAW."
Pretty much.
Just.. amazing.
I'm flipping out -- can you tell?
XD
Today was good..
Nothing really happened that was too eventful..
Michan wasn't here.
I bumped into pretty boy Bertile.. ~drool~
( XD If it's not one, it's another, huh!? )
Spoke French.
Exploded my mind in math.
Won a 10% on a test because I can draw pretty gravestones with crayons in Biology.
Tooted my horn in band.
Actually ate lunch.
Did language in History.
Discussed a nazi comic book in Language.
That was my day. XDD
Oh, and chatted up a storm with good ol' Vince for liek.. an hour and a half ( most literally ) after school.
Waiting for my mom.
I'm really not too mad at Vince or anything.
He wasn't trying to mislead me honestly.
I was the one assuming.
~TONK OF DISHONOR~
XFD
Jade.
Yah.
Uh.
We're doing it.
WE WILL BE TOUCHED BY THE GREEN FAIRY.
XDDDD
"Have yoo been ASSUMING again?"
4 hugs |
For me
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0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0
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::
2006 8 February :: 5.33pm
:: Mood: Whistful
:: Music: Where Soul Meets Body -- Deathcab for Cuties
No Assumptions
Have you ever had that one person at school..?
You've known them for about a year, perhaps, and you two are pretty good friends.
You have some ghey little relationship thing going on like.. 'teacher' to 'student' or 'master' to 'slave', something you joke about whenever you see eachother?
Which really isn't often.
Though when you do see each other, you go "Heeeeey" and give them a hug -- all buddy-buddy.
You've always kind of liked them.
Secretly.
You'd never let them know.
And then one week..
Things seem to change.
You seem to see that person quite a few more times a day, and each time you hug and chat and accompany them on their way to class because you're apparentally going to same way.
Though you've never caught them going that way before..
Anyways, for a week, you see eachother between three or four periods.
You hug.
You walk.
You chat.
Hell, you even make a pact.
"No more assumptions," you both agree, and shake hands on it -- how cute.
You must part now.
You hug again.
You walk your way and they turn sharply to the left, leaving you with the willies.
You can't help assuming.
You see them before seventh all the time, chatting with a group of the gender they belong to by some door.
You identify one of your closer friends - whom happens to be in your next period - and approach.
You know most of them, if not personally then by reputation.
You hug your 'special' friend.
And there you stand.
Laughing.
For two whole minutes.
Your friend's arms around you.
And it could be compared to one of the greatest feelings in the world.
This pre-seventh period holding ritual continues.
From Monday on.
That same Monday, you add a kiss on the cheek with the hug.
You two have been hugging all day - perfectly reasonable, no?
They happily return it, and you're overjoyed.
This continues through the days.
They seem to kiss your cheek rather close to your lips each time..
Odd, no?
You can't help but be excited.
Assuming.
Thursday comes round and the usual hugging and holding.
Now you must go to seventh period.
You kiss them on the cheek.
Though they pull you back.
"Kiss me on the lips," they say, and push their lips against your's.
Once.
You must be blushing.
Twice.
They must be able to hear your heart breaking through your ribs.
Your better-next-period friend pulls you away, you in a fluster of giggles.
You must have a tomato for a face, right?
You sit down in seventh period with the never-ending substitute trauma and begin to work.
Your better-seventh-period-friend -- let's call him Chris Casey -- asks you for a piece of paper.
You oblige simply.
You have plenty and everyone needs paper to work.
Soon, the paper returns.
You blink, reading it over.
"Next time they do that, I think you should shove your tongue down their throat," Chris has scrawled.
You laugh quietly, more to give him the satisfaction that it's funny.
Though you're actually accepting the idea - maybe you will french kiss them next time.
This note-scribbling continues and you end up giving good ol' Chris some sweet advice about some girl named Alyssa, though the whole time.. you're thinking about them.
Their lips.
The feel.
Their warmth.
How you wish you could have stayed a little bit longer.
Maybe you two could go out..
Assuming.
Friday rolls around and you're excited to see them again.
But..
You don't.
You're a bit disappointed - you don't see them all day.
Of course, they're probably absent, you reason with yourself.
Definitely.
Of course they are.
Everyone gets sick.
The weekend.
You laugh and have fun, but you can't wait until Monday.
To see them.
Monday.
A whole week of hugging and those two little pecks on the lips..
You might just die if you don't see them soon.
Will they be happy to see you?
You hope so.
You assume so.
You tramp to first period, terribly tired.
And you see them.
You smile.
But.. they are with..
Some girl named Alyssa?
You can't help staring, they're leagues ahead of you in the hall.
A pang of jealousy strikes your heart.
She's new, you remind yourself, they're.. probably just helping her?
You nod to yourself.
That's it.
That's all.
You assume.
They stop at the door.
Your heart stops as well.
For they now hold eachother, sharing that same embrace as you had with them.
And you could swear you had died, even if it was just a hug.
They walk away and Alyssa enters the building.
You quickly hang your head, pretending you hadn't seen, continually sauntering.
They walk right past you.
They don't even see you.
Monday continues dully and you are forced to forget this trauma due to a terrible head cold.
Suxxors.
Tuesday rolls around.
FCAT Writes.
GHEY.
You have to write an essay about how you'd make a classroom more comfortable.
TERRIBLY GHEY.
You scribble in your testing book while you wait for the time limit to be called.
"No assumptions"
That's what you wrote, remembering the hand shake fondly.
You smile.
This is your pact.
It's special.
Though you've already broken it so many times.
I wish you could notice..
But you will.
Soon.
The rest of the time limits tick on by, you are now discreetly picking your nose with a tissue to keep from dripping mucous all over your test.
Soon you're in fifth period.
Sixth period.
Pre-seventh period..
You wander out into the hall, looking for the casual group, Chris, and maybe 'them'.
And there you see them.
With some-girl-named-Alyssa.
Who is new.
They're holding her just like they held you four days ago.
You don't spot Chris.
You sulk into class, down-heartened, but your favorite teacher's back!
SCORE.
It's after school.
You're walking with your jolly old chums to the after-school hang out.
A supermarket.
You guys are sooo cool.
And then they walk up.
With Frank.
That cool guy with the Emily the Strange guitar.
They say "Oh, hey."
You say "Hi.."
Nothing.
No hug.
He doesn't even really seem to notice you.
You shrug it off.
It must have been an in-depth conversation.
You assume.
It's about some girl they wanted to date.
But she was just too immature for them.
"Just a fuckin' kid," they swear.
You hope to all hell and heaven combined that he hasn't said anything like that about you.
You aren't 'just a fuckin' kid'.
You're..
Well..
You.
You assume.
You sit next to the supermarket with your life-source, Dr. Pepper.
You remember passing some-girl-named-Alyssa-who-is-new on your way to the machine.
You hope she hadn't seen them.
They - them and Frank - casually sit about five feet away.
They don't notice you.
Of course not.
But just your luck.
Here comes some-girl-named-Alyssa-who-is-new.
You swallow hard, watching them hug.
She goes and sits on a short pillar.
They go to her.
They stand..
Inbetween her legs.
You cough - of course, it's alright, you're sick.
You try to pay attention to your friends, but you can't.
You glance over again, and..
And..
They're kissing.
Deeply.
So close.
You feel like you could cry, but you force yourself to look away.
You're shattered.
And then you noticed..
You assumed.
You assumed everything.
You don't deserve them!
You can't even keep a simple pact!
You're worthless!
In the end, you're drawing.
Singing.
Coughing.
To get out the petty pain you feel.
You look over your work, a nice little message scrawled to them on the bottom.
It's beautiful.
It matches.
It's your feelings.
Maybe you'll give it to them.
Maybe you'll be able to let go..
You reread the message of the picture.
You can't help but read out loud.
Dear Vince,
Thanks for playing.
No assumptions,
Emily
7 hugs |
For me
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0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0
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::
2006 31 January :: 9.41pm
:: Mood: Sickeh
:: Music: Sniffles
Thank God for huge-ass shirts..
'Cause apparentally my fly was down all day.
o-----o
<3
1 hug |
For me
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0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0
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::
2006 30 January :: 8.15pm
:: Mood: Gigglesnort
:: Music: Jade - "BEE!"
ZE OHMIGAUCHE.
"She's like a midget. It's great."
1 hug |
For me
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0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0
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::
2006 24 January :: 8.36pm
:: Mood: Horny/informed
:: Music: FFTL
LE XD.
The Correct Way to Eat a Woman Out
XDDDD
Have fun, guys.
<3
"FTW?!?"
5 hugs |
For me
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0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0
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::
2006 23 January :: 5.27pm
:: Mood: Gnodab
The Exact Oppostie of Badong
Well.
I really like this style.
So.
I'm keeping it.
kthnxbai.
<3
For me
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0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0
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::
2006 22 January :: 11.03pm
:: Mood: sdasldkj
Hey.. Hey Lon..
Click me. Do it. DO IT NOW.
<3
4 hugs |
For me
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0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0
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::
2006 22 January :: 10.41pm
:: Mood: Umn.. Frusterated? XD
:: Music: Null
I'm Frusterated With..
- life
- school
- the clarinet
- geometry
- my parents
- constant nagging about cleaning
- homework
- reading Sophie's World
- the clarinet
- my dad
- my future
- my inability to keep focused with a computer around
- talking
- expressing my feelings
- the trial to make money
- people saying it's my life when apparentally it's their concern about how I do academically
- people who must know your grades, and then get huffy when you say it's confidential
- ACNE
- my inability to find a mate ( Forget this one. It's ghey. )
- my laziness
- myself. Whenever I say I'll stop something, I'll procrastinate.
- procrastination in general.
- my room
- my dad's buisiness
- history homework
- my jealous tendencies
- my emotions
- my nail-biting habit
- the scales test
- whatever else I'm frusterated with
- wanting to be someone else
- creating my own dimension in the hovel of my room in which I flee too when ever I can.
- how fucking hairy I am. ( "Ewww" I know. Shut the fuck up )
- Ayen
- how quickly time passes
- how stupid people are
- how blue this damn Barbie on my desk is
- this pair of pliers
- my moneylessness
- my need of a job
- the thought of conquest for said job
- the knowledge I need to find some Classifieds
- people always in and out of our house
- all of my dad's family moving to Florida .___.;
- my mom when she yells at me for not loading the dish washer when I do it a hell of a lot. Or when she tells me to do seperate loads when I can just do one and get all my clothes clean at once.
- my brothers. For always ragging on me because I 'don't go outside as much as they do, so I can't boss them around'. Which is really ghey. I never really boss them around, I just ask them to help with some of the chores.
- cracking jokes and people either don't get them or just look annoyed at me
- feelings in general. Whether they're mine or not.
- estrogen.
- testosterone.
- pre-pubescent teenage boys
- Rayna
- Jade and Diego. I love you both, but you just frusterate me. Don't change or anything, I love the shit out of both of you, I just have to write all this stuff down so I can feel better sooner.
- Jade. Yes. I am a bit frusterated with you. I don't know why and it doesn't mean that I love you any less. I'm just frusterated. And don't ask me to explain 'cause that's probably the most damn frusterating part. I don't know. "You can't just say you're frusterated with me, then say you don't know" you're thinking. WELL I CAN. SO MLEH.
- Keith. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO CONFUSING. >-----< GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I WILL KILL YOU.
- this bruise on my arm. THANKS KEITH.
- my legs.
- the prospect of changing my room. It's exciting. I want to do it. But it doesn't look like it's going to happen due to..... PROCRASTINATIONNN. ~killer~
- getting my hopes up. This happens all the time and it only gets me hurt and annoyed more. It's really.. REALLY ghey. And it needs to stop.
Uh.. I think that's it..
I'd rather you not talk to me about this entry, thus I blocked the comments. I was just venting and allowing you to read it.
'Cause I'm good like that.
Yeah.
I shower now. Good bye.
<3
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homsar
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::
2005 30 November :: 11.00pm
Hiya there Tueday; I swerved into the maelstrum palisade of Lystra'
4 hugs |
For me
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homsar
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::
2005 22 November :: 7.35pm
:: Music: Kollektiv Rote Rube
I fUrthered the royal visit of mOrrOcO+
6 hugs |
For me
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0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0
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2005 16 November :: 7.46pm
:: Mood: Until the end offff
:: Music: Demolition Lovers Part 1 - MCR
O RLY?
7 hugs |
For me
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homsar
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2005 14 November :: 8.38pm
:: Mood: Atriculation
I dooped a poop in a fruit loop(c)
10 hugs |
For me
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0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0
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::
2005 2 November :: 12.38pm
:: Mood: Dr. Pepper
:: Music: The Cure - Faith
Halloween Cha Cha Meringue
Well it's November.
Time for another layout change.
It'll happen soon.
Jade has stayed with me for about a week and an hour or two - she just went home.
I have a lotta homework and apparentally school will be tomorrow.
So I should do that.
But I'll tell you about Halloween first.
Halloween
Well Jadie and I got up ( surprisingly ) and Loni went home and Diego came over. Diego shaved himself ( XD ) and Jadie and I walked to Publix, fine and dandy.
On the way, we saw a power ranger and Robin Hood chillin' in a decked out golf cart with their mom. We got some spider webs from them that got stuck on a tree branch. It was nice and windy, so it wasn't too bad walking the distance.
It took us pretty much a half an hour to get TO Publix and we bought:
- 2 12 packs of Dr. Pepper
- 1 bottle of corn oil*
- 1 bottle of red food dye*
- 1 bottle of hair conditioner
- 3 razors
Yeah. It was magical lugging the Dr. Pepper, but Jade and I got mistaken for sisters at the Publix. xDDD Poor old guy.
Anyways, we didn't walk ALL the way home. I pretty much broke down in the beginning because a wasp was circling the two of us, so I called for back up ( NO, DON'T BACK UP! <--< )
Anyways, we get home and I learn that the corn oil* was supposed to be corn syrup, because we were going to make fake blood out of milk, corn syrup, and red food dye*.
I was angry, needless to say.
I even tried to CALL Diego to make sure it was corn syrup, but he didn't pick up.
Fucking a', Diego, I blame this on you! o--o
Anyways, I carved a pumpkin instead. IT WAS SO CUTE. ~picture~
AW!. XDDD
Yeah. Adorable.
I even have a picture of Lo and her Chinese Food ( AKA Eric ) with the pumpkin goodness. ~picture~
Awww!
HOW CUTE IS THAT PUMPKIN?!
<3
I produced costumes for Eric a' Lo xDD Eric's the Grim Reaper and Lo's Avril Lavigne. XDDDDDD
( Your capris are in the was, Lo )
Anyways, yeah, so Diego was over, then Laur and Eric came over, and then Dylia came over. Jenn showed up briefly to drop off some capris for me. HER COSTUME WAS SOOO CUTE. ~picture~ ( XD )
AWWW.
Adorability x 76!!
( Jenners, I have more pictures if you want them <3 )
I don't think I have a picture of myself.. I was a sharp dressed man. On the contrary to all the ladies I was surrounded with.. x---x; ~picture~
Lmfao.
Diego's one hot lady.
I'm DEFINATELY more of a man than him. =p
Minus the muscle.
And penis.
Plus a bit more boobage.
You know how it goes.
So's we went to Jenn's neighbourhood and trick or treated for an hour.
Only.. an hour..
We were the last batch of kids going around. XDDD
SCARY.
Eli and Ming came over before we left, dressed as the O RLY? YA RLY owls. XDDD ~picture~
BRILLIANT.
Yeah.
So we dropped off Eric, Lo, and Diego and Jade, Dylie, and I went home.
I stayed up into the wee hours of the morning, watching assorted movies and getting 6 Jack grab bags on Gaia.
XD
I'm such a geek.
/halloween.txt
So's that's how it went.
Apparentally raw sewage is backing up into my house.
Funnnnn...
My brother went to go ask the neighbours if any of them are in the same predicament and got a whole bowl of candy.
That's nuts.
That's crazy.
Well, space cadets, I think I'm gonna sign off.
Do some homework before bowling.
You knows.
<3
"CAPTAIN SFINKTOR! THE DYLER! CAPTAIN OBVIOUS! FAGMAN! SATAN MAN! ASSEMBLLLLLEEEE!"
5 hugs |
For me
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0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0
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::
2005 31 October :: 11.16am
OMG
IT'S HALLOWEEN!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!1one!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!2##2!!!!!1
4 hugs |
For me
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0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0
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::
2005 29 October :: 9.08pm
:: Mood: Victorious
:: Music: Under the Dock Leaves - Cliff of Suicides
HAHAHAHAHHHAHA
I just vanquished my toilet.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA ~enter high-pitched maniacal laughter~
<3
3 hugs |
For me
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