The Penguins Made Me Do It...

:: 2007 2 March :: 1.23pm

paula deen cheers me up, sometimes.

:: 2007 28 February :: 10.13pm

far away
this ship has taken me far away
far away from the memories
of the people who care if i live or die

starlight
i will be chasing a starlight
until the end of my life
i don't know if it's worth it anymore

hold you in my arms
i just wanted to hold you in my arms

my life
you electrify my life
let's conspire to ignite
all the souls that would die just to feel alive

i'll never let you go
if you promise not to fade away
never fade away

our hopes and expectations
black holes and revelations
our hopes and expectations
black holes and revelations

hold you in my arms
i just wanted to hold you in my arms

:: 2007 26 February :: 11.50pm

my life is a movie that i don't want to watch any more. i just want to hit "stop" already.

:: 2007 23 February :: 2.24pm

mother, i'm tired
come surrender my son
time has ravaged on my soul
no plans to leave but still i go

falling with the leaves
falling out of sleep
to the last goodbyes
who cares why?

mother, i've tried
wasting my life
i haven't given up, i lie
to make you so proud in my eyes

falling out of sleep
crawling over me
to the last goodbyes
who cares why?

tuesday's come and gone
restless still i drive
try to leave it all behind

falling, falling out of sleep
falling, falling with the leaves
i got crawling, crawling over me

once upon a time in my life...

i went falling

:: 2007 20 February :: 5.17pm

the past 5 months have found me repeatedly asking, "what the fuck?"

:: 2007 13 February :: 5.22pm

tori amos: blood roses
blood roses
blood roses
back on the street now
can't forget the things you never said
on days like these starts me thinking
chickens get a taste of your meat, girl
chickens get a taste of your meat, yes

you gave him your blood
and your warm little diamond
he likes killing you after you're dead
you think i'm a queer
i think you're a queer
said, i think you're a queer
i think you're a queer
i shaved every place where you been, boy
said, i shaved every place where you been, yes

god knows
i know
i've thrown away those graces

the belle of new orleans
tried to show me once
how to tango
wrapped around your feet
wrapped around like good little roses

blood roses
blood roses
back on the street now
now you've cut out the flute
from the throat of the loon
at least when you cry now
he can't even hear you

when chickens get a taste of your meat
come on, come on, come on, come on
when he sucks you deep
sometimes you're nothing but meat

:: 2007 13 February :: 5.10pm

look, here's the deal:

we're all the same.... we all wish we had more excitement and variation in our lives but don't because we're slaves. we all want to run away and do something new and different. we all wonder what life "could" be like. blah blah blah. but routine is life. and life is routine. get used to it. it sucks. you're either deaf, blind, anorexic, depressed, bi-polar, infertile, alcoholic, overweight, disabled, schizophrenic, obsessive-compulsive, avoidant, dependent, narcissistic, a minority, poor, or someone you care about is, and it makes your life fucked up.

or if you're part of the the lucky 1% of the world, you're rich.

otherwise, you have to work every day for most of your life or you'll be assassinated for not believing in capitalism and/or starve to death. or you'll be blown up by the U.S. military.

people don't commit suicide for nothing.

something funny i stumbled upon...

:: 2007 11 February :: 8.57pm

:: 2007 8 February :: 8.27pm

Marlowe, Doctor Faustus
[w]hy this is hell, nor am I out of it.
Think'st thou that I, who saw the face of God,
And tasted the eternal joys of heaven,
Am not tormented with ten thousand hells
In being deprived of everlasting bliss?
(3.76:80)

now you have to watch what clothes you wear

:: 2007 7 February :: 10.37am

5 mabidees | something to say?

and one must ask: is there such a thing as true ethnicity?

:: 2007 5 February :: 2.10pm

moana

:: 2007 3 February :: 12.16am
:: Music: Snow Patrol - Run

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up...

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

ac	:: 2007 23 January :: 5.16am :: Mood: happy LMAO. something to say?

moana

:: 2007 20 January :: 7.32pm

Fucking traitor. That's right. I'm talking about YOU.

:: 2007 14 January :: 2.11pm

give me religion and a lobotomy
i am so easily annoyed. i wish i was laid back. i want to be one of those cool, mellow people who can chill and not be affected by things... or who does not take offense to everything under the sun because it may possibly hurt himself or others. i can't take a joke for the life of me... perhaps because inherent in western-style jokes is the degradation or disrespect of an oft stereotyped person or group of people, which only exists for the purpose of the joke, after all. how else can you dehumanize people so killing them is so much easier?

i'm annoyed by what i perceive to be superficiality, when in actuality, it may just be a different way of socializing than i can understand or prefer. maybe some people truly do feel connections to 50 people at a time and can feel comfortable, happy, and complete without being serious or forming deep reciprocal friendships with other people. some, probably even most, people enjoy what i would deem superficial relationships in order to evade the bleak, meaningless existence that we each occupy. an existence like a fly stuck between the glass and screen of a window pane. it is reasonable... quite practical and logical, really, to want to deny such an existence by layering your life with more meaningless things. for, by collecting and surrounding yourself with meaningless things in order to disguise the meaninglessness of your life, the chaotic busy-ness that ensues will thereby create urgency and the illusion that everything is important and therefore meaningful.

:: 2007 13 January :: 5.10pm

taken from this article:

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said yesterday that those calling for dialogue with Syria and Iran fail to realize that these countries are seeking to undermine stability, and that talks with them are unlikely to yield results.

"stability" is relative, obviously... since a U.S.-israeli controlled middle east is somehow, in rice's opinion, more "stable" than an arab-controlled middle east. as usual, we have forgotten that much of the instability of the region has resulted from the imperialist domination by the US and israel in dividing and conquering arab lands for the past century. obviously, an infantile refusal to talk and cooperate with other nations will yield much better results than working for peace and justice for all people. i mean, look at how well bombs and guns have worked in iraq.

:: 2007 4 January :: 5.35pm

:: 2007 4 January :: 10.18am

Escalation

Demonstration

Condemnation

6 mabidees | something to say?

:: 2007 3 January :: 12.50pm

i am so socially avoidant sometimes. i apologize for being the worst keep-in-touch person alive.

i really am a recluse...