The Penguins Made Me Do It...

:: 2005 30 March :: 8.21am

Insane and tormented

And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor

Shall be lifted nevermore.

:: 2005 29 March :: 11.17pm

i would rather someone tell me "i hate you" than "get over it."

"get over it" implies that i cared in the first place.

:: 2005 29 March :: 12.06am

people post the most boring, uninspiring, unimportant, lame, annoying, immature bullshit and yet their posts are flooded with comments. it's ass-kissing mania:

"wow, man, that post about the parties you hit up this weekend was, like, so totally rad. keep the thoughts (and the beer! chya bra) flowing!"

"like, omgz! tiffany is SUCH a slut! J/K! brad pitt is all mine! tee hee. see you at the fashion club mtg 2morrow! *mwah* buh bye hun!"

calvin klein forbid you think.

but let's not forget - if people write this much about their petty existences as they are, imagine what would happen if they actually had lives that mattered! gee golly, we would be reading novels every night! thank goodness we have nothing important to face in our lives! -wipes sweat from brow-

:: 2005 26 March :: 11.12pm
:: Music: Cardigans - Paralyzed

The sweetest way to die

Part-time pilot school has now become full-time pilot school. I can't be a full time pilot student and a full time AUD student at the same time. There go my plans.

On a happier note, I love this song and if you don't know it, listen to it.

1 mabidee | something to say?

5 mabidees | something to say?

:: 2005 25 March :: 7.29pm
:: Music: Deftones - Engine No. 9

And Mother she won't drain herself

Where did all the innocence go?

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:: 2005 24 March :: 8.16pm

HASH(0x8e25330)
You are 'Out from Under'! PLEASE don't piss in the
wind...

Which Incubus song are you? (Make Yourself)
brought to you by Quizilla

Read more..

:: 2005 23 March :: 2.00pm
:: Music: Godsmack - Forgive Me

There's nothing to me now. An empty shell unfolded.
How, when we learn to pray inside our demons are laughing
How long will this go on? Are we a bit much stronger?
Do you think you can save me from living this way?

I don't know how to love. I just know how to live.
All I feel is pain. Will you forgive me?

For all those things I've done, they keep on creeping by me,
And though we've changed our ways,
still all our demons are laughing.
How long will this go on? Aren't we a bit much stronger?
I'd like to think you've came into my life to stay.

I don't know how to love. I just know how to live.
All I feel is pain. Will you forgive me?
I don't know how to breathe with you too far away.
I don't know how to love. Will you forgive me?
No I can't live this way!
I don't know how to love. I just know how to live.
All I feel is pain. Will you forgive me?
I don't know how to breathe with you too far away.
I don't know how to love.

Past lives I've lived. Uncontrolled but sacred.
You've finally seen all that's left of me.
So hard to feel. So hard to breathe.
Will you forgive me? Will you forgive me?

:: 2005 22 March :: 8.28pm

alas, poor laurence. i knew him well.

15 mabidees | something to say?

:: 2005 22 March :: 8.00am

I got accepted into NYU Freshmen in Florence program, one year in the Italy campus, one year in the NYC campus, then guaranteed junior acceptance into the College of Arts and Sciences.

5 mabidees | something to say?

:: 2005 21 March :: 12.07am

crash.

"it's the sense of touch. i think we miss that touch so much that we crash into each other just so we can feel something."

i saw this preview a couple weeks ago at the theater when i saw "hotel rwanda" and i felt like i was watching something i'd made myself (the very beginning at least, you'll see why). the music is samuel barber's adagio for strings. talk about beautiful.

:: 2005 19 March :: 12.12pm

Please save me from myself, I need you to save me from myself, please save me from myself so I can heal...

:: 2005 19 March :: 12.49am

:: 2005 17 March :: 2.54pm

i find it hard
to drive your stupid car
i find it hard
cause i never get that far
and you put my brain in overload
and i can't change gears
i cannot see the road

you got concrete eyes
and i cannot see your face
and i failed in life
cause you crushed me with your hands

and you put my brain in overload
i can't change gears
i cannot see the road

:: 2005 16 March :: 9.14am
:: Music: Driving Rain - Vanilla Sky

"And the day I became young again, I felt the empty place that threatened to engulf me fill with possibility, and I called it 'My Neverland', and it kept me alive, so filled as it was, when I swore the world was not worth living for... ...And the ghost of my past died away with my memories... ...and the ghost of my future is at sixes and sevens... ...and the ghost of my present frolics in Neverland, points me towards the oceans... ...I do not live for this world, I live for its possibilities; and you are one of them."

7 mabidees | something to say?

:: 2005 14 March :: 4.42pm

self-portrait: Read more..

7 mabidees | something to say?

:: 2005 14 March :: 8.07pm
:: Music: Depeche Mode - Waiting For The Night

And so it ends. How so? Like this:

The end.

Thanks again, Danielle.

9 mabidees | something to say?

:: 2005 14 March :: 7.20am

Global Domination
This morning, I had an epiphany. I don't really want to do anything. When it comes right down to it, I'm not extremely motivated to reach a goal because I don't really have one. I just have a list of things that people want me to do, and I chose the one that's most convenient for me.

I would like to do big things, but in reality, I just want it to happen. I'm not energetic enough to actually do anything about it. I'd much rather the world just realize on its own how stupid it is and straighten itself out than have to pursue college, a masters degree, a PhD, a career, and grab it by the balls until it squeals that it'll do better this time, it promises.

But ah well, what needs to be done needs to be done. Make friends with me now, because when I take over the world, I'm going to do the things everyone else is too scared to do.