The Penguins Made Me Do It...

11 mabidees | something to say?

:: 2004 24 December :: 5.51pm
:: Mood: *wiggles toes*
:: Music: deftones - hexagram

tangenting
you know that saying, "beauty moves mountains"? i like this one better:

"i don't need to be beautiful to move mountains, i'll just kick the mountain's ass if i want it to move."

my stepmom's sick today, so we didn't go to my dad's house. i called him to see if he and i could hang out together, sans the remainder of the bo3rikis, but he didn't pick up. i guess not.

on a more random note, how many of you have ever picked a pocket? laurence and andy, stay out of this, i know neither of you two ever has.

i had a bad dream last night about the milkman. his son, actually, to be more precise. andy, you ruined my life i hate you. i'm kidding i love you. bacher you go tyebeen hatha min hatha, ba3dain tsaween telephone, ok?

in case i don't see everyone else here that celebrates, merry christmas.

Read more..

:: 2004 23 December :: 3.39pm

"the artist's soul is like a deer darting out in front of our philosophical car. in a moment of shock we swerve and wreck our car, the deer escapes unharmed and we need a new philosophy." - alex gray

1 mabidee | something to say?

:: 2004 23 December :: 7.57pm
:: Music: naruto intro from my brother's room.

the world's greatest lover...
didn't see this one coming...

You are Don Juan From "Don Juan De Marco."

Woobaby! You are Don Juan - dark and handsome, and the world's greatest lover. Some people find you to be a bit insane (or is that insanely sexy?). While you may not be playing with all 52 cards, don't let that get you down - you're a true romantic at heart.

Take The Johnny Depp Quiz!

but yeah, and THEN!

i go play naruto gektou ninja taisun 3.

something to say?

:: 2004 21 December :: 6.54pm
:: Mood: hot
:: Music: radiohead - we suck young blood

are you strung up by the wrists?

this song right now, couldn't be more perfect. there's a light rain outside, but it's smoldering hot inside.

i was hungry.
i was sick.
i was begging for a break.
now i feel sweet.
i feel fresh.
when just this morning i was strung up by the wrists.

i was fracturing.
i was torn at the seams.
i was ready to do anything.
flea-bitten. motheaten.

IT'S CHRISTMAS BREAK! I CAN REST! I CAN GET ONLINE! I CAN STAY UP TIL 'the wee hours of the night' TALKING TO MY FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES!

i'm not yelling, i'm just excited and hyper. ok the end.

and THEN!

:: 2004 21 December :: 7.49am
:: Mood: only

where i've been your whole life
if you're applying to college after sending the supplements.

if you stormed out of the gym when the senior class acted like animals in the holding room.

if you haven't had a decent meal since the week started.

if you've been waking up at 4am every morning so that you haven't even heard the sound of your alarm in so long, because your insomnia won't let you sleep through the night and you're up and ready by two hours before you techinically should be awake.

if the only way you can be certain whether or not you took your medication today is by giving yourself a papercut, and you've done this so many times it doesn't help anymore and you've lost track and you don't take your meds until it starts to hurt to breathe, just to be sure you don't take it twice.

if you finally got some sleep, just to oversleep, right through the alarm i haven't heard in forever, and missed your first period religion test.

if you skip therapy so that you don't miss a math class.

if all of this is going on, at the same time, without exception.

if and only if

then. only then.

then you know how i feel.

:: 2004 18 December :: 10.53pm

load me up
picture yourself
sleeping on a plane
there's something ticking
in the overhead
and inside your brains
there's bodies in the water
and bodies in your basement
if heaven's for clean people
it's vacant

and hey! are you [a] you know?
hey! are you [b] being careful?
hey! are you [c] luke warm?
hey! yeah, you are

i'm frantic!
so load me up
whatever puts me all the way out
whatever puts me all the way out

picture yourself
swimming in an ocean
a million miles from
nowhere and the nearest phone
there's bodies in the water
floating all around you
and all of them are talking
and they're comedians

and hey! are you [a] you know?
hey! are you [b] special?
hey! are you [c] deformed?
hey! yeah, you are

i'm frantic!
so load me up
this seems so practiced -
me fucking this up
whatever puts me all the way out
whatever puts me all the way out

picture yourself
at the mgm grand
murphy's fighting hokum
you're in the stands
there's somebody in the water
in the middle of the ocean
a million miles from nowhere
and they're alone

i'm there alone
so, so deformed
so, so deformed
so, so deformed

i'm frantic!
so load me up
this seems so practiced
so take me all the way out
whatever puts me all the way out

:: 2004 16 December :: 4.25am
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: chino's purring and some thunder outside

hanging out with an arab pea

AC (in reference to faisal hamada): call him to see where he is, and DON'T HIT ON HIM.
me: i won't!
AC: so i'll drop you off at marina with faisal and i'll go take care of business at the store, then i'll catch up with you guys. i can't believe i'm leaving you alone with him...
me: come on! don't you trust me?
AC: NO! not when it comes to penis!
me: yeah me neither.

it's ironic how close we are and how little we trust one another at the same time, eh? and this is us,

AC said a whole story, stuff and stuff, and i'm filling in the blanks.

so we're in the car, on the way to marina together because it ends up i didn't go hang out with 7amada unsupervised. well i call to make sure he's still there since he told us the guys were leaving soon and we didn't want him to hang around alone waiting for us, and a gruff, middle aged kuwaiti-ish voice says:

phone: alo
me: this is not person...
phone: alo!
me: do you want to buy?
phone: mino intay? (who are you?)
me: um...
phone: mino?
me: who is this?
phone: an ubu faisal. (i am faisal's father.)

whoa. shit. this is the part where i have complete cardiac arrest. almost. he must have forgotten his phone at home, and i called and his FATHER picked up. he is going to get into so much shit. whoa. shit.

phone: mino intay?
me: ana, um, ibsafa, oo abee kitab, umm... (i'm, um, in his class, and i need a book, umm...)
phone: laish intay ibnaya itdegeen 3ala wildee? (why are you, a girl, calling my son?)
me: um.... 3ami...(um... uncle*...)
phone: intay ga7ba? (are you a whore?)
me: ALRIGHT WHO IS THIS?!

if you guessed it was dzaner by now pulling kuwait's most terrifying prank, then you are correct. oh man. oh man i was scared crapless. terrified out of my wits. shit.

anyway, we get there, and some stuff happens, and someone's father is conspicuous, and then AC has a giant THE ONE mug of coffee and starts chain smoking because she's discovered the wonderful world of softpacks. tard. so i'm sitting there surrounded by 7amada, dzaner, AC, all chain smoking and drinking black coffee, getting jittery and hyper (except dzaner who gets really really relaaaaaaaaaxed), and i order myself orange juice. goody good. ugh.

any way, AC got hyper after downing her coffee and about a dozen fags. uh oh. the girlfriends and co get there and she starts going nuts, "let's do something fun!"

AC: come on! let's do something fun!
me: *looks in the opposite direction* ok ok i have an idea.
AC: *squeals* what?!
me: alrigh, go running outside, as fast as you can, and come around this side, see, and vault off the balcony and attach yourself to that palm tree outside**. then start humping it and make a wish.
AC: ...why?
me: because it's a big one and a magic palm tree that grants you wishes!

praise foofoo for magic palm trees.

she got the rest of the night pretty much covered, i just had to share some tidbits. the end.

*'Uncle', or '3ami' is used in place of 'Sir' in kuwait.
**THE ONE is on the second floor and we'd earlier discussed the big palm tree outside when dzaner told me how he was going to cut down a palm tree and decorate it for christmas. when i suggested he go for the giant palm tree outside the balcony, he said "I think I'd get fucked, a white guy hanging off a palm tree with a chainsaw in Salmiya."

1 mabidee | something to say?

8 mabidees | something to say?

:: 2004 15 December :: 8.52am
:: Music: sound effects of rain

You're 22 today! and on the 13th, 7amada was 17, and on the 14th, Sarah turned 21!
Happy Birthday. that's birthday number 3.

(three down, four to go.)

I just want to mention that it rained so hard all last night and all this morning and the roads are flooded. The school is practically desserted (is that how you spell that?). How appropriate is it that the police would turn cars back home because of how much it's raining on the day of Joe's birthday?

10 mabidees | something to say?

:: 2004 14 December :: 9.17pm

all my dreams lost at sea
when i'm done with exams, hopefully i will have more time to actually write in here. to go off on tangents and let my thoughts flow out, un-edited and unorganized as ever. i miss that. i miss just being able to write to get something out of my head, so that i can rest without thoughts and feelings running and jumping about, distracting me from my everyday responsibilities. i never get to write anymore. now i just write about not having the time to write.

no one knows anything about me anymore.

9 mabidees | something to say?

:: 2004 13 December :: 4.21pm
:: Music: everclear - afterglow

You're the Tortured Intellectual!
Take What sort of Hipster are you? today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.

You're sensitive, you're emotional, and you wonder why everyone else in the world exists on a different plane. You cannot eat, breathe, or sleep without analyzing each action to death. You're usually sombre, lethargic, but you can be overly glad from time to time. You wear whatever you can find on your cluttered bedroom floor. You carry books, notepads, reading glasses with you wherever you go. You have friends, but only a few who truly get where you're coming from. You frequent coffee shops, libraries, and the less crowded bars. You're obsessed with past people, past ideas, past lives. You wish you could die and be reborn as Jack Kerouac.

9 mabidees | something to say?

:: 2004 13 December :: 3.47pm
:: Mood: full
:: Music: goldfinger - superman

so here i am
my mom's watching a retarded soap opera on Tv, days of our lives or something, and there's a girl dancing like she has a wedgie on. i'm disturbed.

in other news! chorus class today. last period. was one of the most fullfilling experiences of my life.

(andy helped me make the distinction, it wasn't pleasurable, but it was definately fullfilling.)

guess what was just lying around in the open, exposed to all, in the middle of choir?

blag's drumset. oh yeah. his love. his life. that piece of musical equipment worth more than 1800KD, which comes roughly to about $6000. he could never love a person the way he loves that drumset. he could never love anyone or anything, the way he loves, adores, worships, that drumset. out in the open. exposed to our choir class. oh yeah.

it was beaten. it was hammered. it was battered. it was kicked. oh man. oh man oh man. and there he was after school, standing around with his posse, pretending to be too cool to notice i was like five feet away from him. jackass.

i so wanted to just go up to him and be like "i'd check on my drumset if i were you." i wanted him to know i was there, cheering, calling out encouragment. i wished i could go up to him and tell him how i wanted to beat the drumset with the other one's guitar. their music is their life. their instruments are the source of that life. i wanted to destroy it.

am i evil? oh yeah.

do they deserve it? oh yeah.

oh yeah they deserve it. he totally deserves it. i hope life screws him over so i can go up to him and go, "hey blag, how many guys have really been down your pants?"

omayya was wearing his perfume. it drove me nuts, missing him that is. bastard.

chorus class. last period. more fullfilling than anything he ever did for me.

6 mabidees | something to say?

:: 2004 11 December :: 1.56pm

on a perfect circle
sue: does he say, 'she acts just like a nerd'?
brienne: no! like a NURSE!

15 mabidees | something to say?

:: 2004 11 December :: 7.11pm
:: Music: dave matthews - an' another thing

I love this song
I want to say something important. But I don't know how to say it. I'm not sure who I'm saying it to. So now I'm confused.

It's not fair. I worked hard, harder than my brother, and he just happened to be born with a penis so he automatically gets to do whatever? He graduated highschool with a 2.3 GPA. I have a 3.4. I hate this country. I hate everything it tries to teach me and everything it tries to force on me, and I hate everything it taught my father and everything he's forcing on me, and I hate the fact that we all know it's a shit country, but just because it's MY country, I have to stay put and make it better when all I wanna say is fuck it, I hope it goes to hell with all its dirty politicians, theiving royal family and sexist men. I don't want to make my country a better place when my country won't let me be a better person.

That was it. The important thing I had to tell you, all of you, is that my chances of ever getting out of here are slim to none.

I may never meet you.

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How much do you match your zodiac sign?

:: 2004 10 December :: 9.38am

i thought these were funny

You are 60% Sagittarius

You Are From Jupiter

You are exuberantly curious - and you love to explore newness.
Enthusiastic and optimistic, you get a kick out of stimulating intellectual discussions.
Foreign cultures and languages fascinate you. You love the outdoors, animals, and freedom.
Chances are you tend to exaggerate, so try to keep a lid on that.
If you do, you'll continue to be known for your confidence, generosity, and sense of justice.

What Planet Are You From?

15 mabidees | something to say?

:: 2004 10 December :: 7.46pm

remembering the dynasty...
"ahh!! stella bit me!!"

13 mabidees | something to say?

:: 2004 8 December :: 1.41pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: pitter patter

I just went running in the rain. I thought of Joseph Fiorenza the whole time. It was one of the most invigorating expriences I've had in ages. I hope to someday run through and dance in the rain with you, Joe.

6 mabidees | something to say?

:: 2004 7 December :: 1.51am

ttryhrr

5 mabidees | something to say?

:: 2004 6 December :: 2.12pm
:: Music: bjork - possibly maybe

7amani: if i don't break it by the end of the year, you're going to prom with me.
andy: no you're taking my sister to prom!
me: can you take an eighth gradr to prom?
zed: what?! fajer, shoo had? (what's this?)
me: i'm taking her sister to prom.
zed: oh.
7amani: no! if i don't break this i take you to prom! like boy and girl!

i love 7amani frai7.

7amada: i can't move my head!
AC: who did your qitra for you?
7amada: the dutch boy.

i love faisal 7amada.

andy: guys look so hot in dishdashas.
me: yeah.
*douglas takes a picture*
me: DON'T MOVE! MY COUNTREYMEN!

douglas: ok, couples!
me: *grabs shamlawi and AC* let's go.

me: we should go stand with the couples.
zed: yeah, but first wait for the sand nigger and the white girl* to finish.

one good thing came out of senior pictures: great pictures taken not by the photographer, but by AC, douglas, 7amani and others.

*sand nigger = nashmi; white girl = andy.

CHUM CHUM CHUM! OO CHUM CHUM CHUM! CHUM CHUM CHUM!