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2005 24 November :: 11.54am
So we left my dads house at about 4:30 yesterday afternoon for Ohio. Arriving at 1:30 this morning. Not a fun ride. I was only awake for about 45 minutes of the ride though. I was so tired. The traffic was awful. The weather was icky. I am happy to be with my family. I missed my sister and Derrick more than I thought. Ohio just isn't the same without Tara. And I really want to go home right now to see Mike. Oh well. I get to eat Turkey.
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2005 24 November :: 1.47am
i'm feeling much better now. thanks everyone!
and a happy thanksgiving to you as well...
Powered by
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hope that worked. i thought it was a cool shot. ten points to anyone who recognizes where it's at.
3 times in one week is just too much damn harry potter. i'm sorry. but it's starting to grate, just a little.
6 Open Fire |
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2005 23 November :: 12.35pm
little shindig at the apartment tonight. gonna have a blast. if interested, gimme a call on my cell, or on my home phone. peace.
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2005 22 November :: 5.38pm
Tomorrow I am off to Ohio for the holiday with my brother and dad. Shall be a riot. I don't remember the last time it was my siblings, my dad and I. I think it was Christmas. I'm slightly excited. I get to see their new house, with their stuff in it. I just don't want to ride in a car for so long. That and I will miss Mike a lot. Going from seeing him everyday and spending every moment outside of work with him, to not seeing him for 3 days, is going to be rough.
We almost broke up yesterday morning. Almost as in he said "Apparently I have told everyone I'm just using you for sex, so maybe we should go our seperate ways". We argued. I laughed. He apologized. We're still together. All in all I think we will make it very far.
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2005 22 November :: 2.00pm
that was a most unpleasant experience.
but i seem to be doing better now. and all my drink seems to be staying down. i just had a piece of bread. we'll see how that goes.
i'm missing my class. ugh.
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2005 21 November :: 4.19pm
check out the Solare website at www.soundclick.com
cool stuff. and me playing crappy drums. the only one that's semi-finished really is "kiss me".
but more to come, more to come.
i need to write a paper. and read several reams of stuff. and learn how to speak german.
by tomorrow.
smile!
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2005 20 November :: 1.39am
:: Mood: sleepy-weepy time
ghouls... i mean goyles. shit.
yesterday was fun. and so was today, for that matter.
yesterday i went shopping with ellen and katie. then we went on a bridge walk downtown (pizomp points), then we went to hunter's for pizza and a movie. we watched "love actually" i liked it a lot.
we also sang karaoke on this video game thing. it was weird. even more weird, my best song was "oops i did it again" by britney spears. oh well. the ladies were impressed with my falsetto. i think hunter was too, but he did a good job of hiding it. and honestly, he wasn't too shabby himself. a very good michael jackson - of jackson 5 no less.
i suppose i ought to join cuddle-sluts anonymous. population: us.
today i went with dad, libby, and kathy to see the goblet of fire at the IMAX. it was really cool and all. there was some stuff i didn't like. some stuff i did. i'm really still not sure how it all balances out, so i'm reserving official judgement. but it was certainly well done from a cinematic standpoint. neat camerawork and everything.
then rich's 40th birthday party. that was fun too. tomorrow is jackie and mom's and rob's and homework and radio show. monday is "write a paper and do german" day. and laundry also.
shit shit shit. i'll have to see if ellen has finished the reading yet. i just remembered it, and it's gonna take hella ever. oh well. no rest for the wicked, or whatever it is.
g'nightz!
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2005 18 November :: 8.43am
:: Music: *Wings of a butterfly - HIM*
*new piercing*
I got my ear pierced as shown in the picture. However, mine looks better than that. I kind of copied my sister. Oh well, she'll get over it.
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2005 16 November :: 5.17pm
and i was having a good day too. why did i let it get to me?
good riddance to bad rubbish, i say.
gar. i have such a weak constitution sometimes.
this is seriously stupid. i've gotta stop.
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2005 16 November :: 8.05am
Mike and I are still together. We are very happy together. I spend all my time with him. I met his daughter on saturday. She's loads of fun. I felt bad because he really wanted to go hunting last night but he didn't go because he felt guilty for leaving me at his house all day yesterday. I have a car, if I wanted to leave I could have. I went to visit Lori for a little bit yesterday morning. I think that Nick and Tara are going to hook up. That would be frickin' sweet. I miss Tara. Remember when her and I were inseperable? Yeah, the good ole' days. I'm trying to combine those days with now.. And so far its working. Today is the first day I have been home since friday, when Mike was drunk. Yep, I'm rambling. Go me
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2005 16 November :: 12.34am
:: Mood: confused (perpetually)
:: Music: DMB - Typical Situation
gah. in other news, i'm incredibly lame.
but i squeaked out an 80% on that paper. obviously not my best effort, but i was glad just not to have sucked total ass.
i'm seriously slacking in the german dept. i did the software, but i need to study more for the vocab quiz in the morning. and i didn't do any of the book work, because it requires all sorts of internet research. which i translate into a lot of frustration and a 3am bedtime. no sir. chris needs his beauty sleep.
so, that's why i suck.
but i helped ellen out tonight. and i vacuumed. and i did dishes.
so i must not be a complete waste of space ;)
if feelings suck, why am i such a whore for them. it's that whole "i'm a little kid again" thing going on. just lots of stuff that i haven't felt. and i don't get it. and i don't know what to do about it. but i kind of like it. i just don't know if i'm being stupid or not.
shut up, brain! and slow down, chris!
be the tortoise, be the tortoise!
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2005 14 November :: 11.15am
:: Music: the mahavishnu orchestra - birds of fire
can you say bullshit? because i can...
HNR 215C
Paper Topic #3
Due Tuesday, November 29, IN CLASS
5-7 pages
One of the central questions the Enlightenment raised was whether or not civilization (the culture of learning, ideas, and writing) was a moral force. Define the Enlightenment, discuss its origins, and analyze whether or not it made Europe a better place.
Your response must use Galileo, Voltaire, Mary Wollstonecraft, Olaudah Equiano, and Cowans. Please use both Candide and The Philosophical Dictionary.
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2005 14 November :: 2.37am
resemblance?
vs.
eh?
or not.
first radio show was tonight.
i had a good set list. only a couple of screw ups. not very charismatic.
pretty standard, actually. it's college radio anyway. dead air ... um ... dead air.
katie's home. ellen has her guiding star back :)
i felt like i was letting her down with my lack of instruction.
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2005 13 November :: 2.06am
:: Mood: nervous?
this is absolutely wild.
hunter's was a blast. he's always so fun, in his own weird way. i don't know what it is.
it was sad this time without katie there, but that's okay. nobody to impress or freak out about. i'm cool with that.
then ellen's DDR party was this evening. i'm actually getting halfway decent at the "beginner" stuff. i'm almost ready to go on to "light".
so so very lame, i am.
and then ellen and i went and took showers. then we watched "the ladies' man" and ate some food and stuff. and we also commiserated about the absence of katie for awhile. but it was all really good natured.
i sincerely hope that jackie honestly feels good about being rid of me. that's what i would like for her to feel. mom was concerned... about something else. but i don't think it will be an issue. or at least, i hope it won't be. if it is, jiminy cricket may never forgive me. but that's okay, i guess. you have to do the best you can. and work out twice a day. don't ask me why i said it. because i already forgot...
i just want to be sure i'm doing the right thing. which is like, never. i really don't know. and god really doesn't appear to feel like letting me in on the secret any time soon. 'salright. i wouldn't expect her to. him to. it to.
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2005 11 November :: 4.44pm
So I think I have only been home a few days in the last couple of weeks. I spend all the time I can with Mike. This morning I was so ready to just end it. To tell him to fuck off. But I couldn't. He knows I care too much about him. He knows I'm falling for him. He knows he's falling for me. We went to the bar after work this morning. Along with a few other people from work. It's a friday morning we just got paid ritual. Anyway. He told me only one beer. One beer led to 9 beers and to jager (sp) bombs. Which led to him almost beating the piss out of a couple people, and hanging all over his best buddies girl who was also way beyond intoxication. His best buddy from high school just happens to be my sisters ex boyfriend. He was there with his parents and a whole ton of people he used to work with celebrating the Electrolux lay-off. So they are all trashed. Being stupid. I had to shove him out of the bar. I got up in his face and told him that if he cared about me the way he said he did, and if he wanted a ride home, he better get his fucking ass outside otherwise I was leaving his ass. And I was going to be done. I wouldn't call him. I'd be done. So we finally leave the damn bar at 12:30 this afternoon. We're on our way to my house because I have to do laundry because I need clothes, and he starts crying. After he tells Nick on the phone that he cares about me and might even love me. Anyway, goes "babe, pull over I don't feel so good" and Fucking pukes ALL over the SIDE of my car. So his ass is cleaning my car. Inside, and out. Right now he's passed out in my bed. Fucker.
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2005 11 November :: 10.41am
*SB voice* : weirded out!
it's incredible the things i apparently say without actually saying them.
it all seems to happen so fast.
i guess it's better that i can't keep up. if i could, i'd be totally freaked out.
.
i accidentally bumped into some girl on my way out of german today. it totally caught me off guard. we were kinda mutually oblivious. i suppose it was very antisocial of me, but i just walked away without saying anything. she kept apologizing, but i was just as at fault as she was. and no harm, no foul, right?
communications test at 1. i think i'll take the bus to class.
hunters at 6 tonight. have to get in touch with ellen, and see when she wants to leave.
big wheel keeps a-spinnin' around. or something.
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2005 10 November :: 8.37pm
:: Mood: pensive
i hate being a jerk, but i hate having her think i'm pretending to be something i'm not. or maybe i am pretending. i don't know.
not anymore, i guess.
not that i ever was. i can't act. but even the normal me can be misleading sometimes.
i have a feeling that this holiday season is not going to be like the times of old. which will take some getting used to, most certainly.
*
hm. i'll keep doing my thing. well, it's not my thing, it's dad's thing. i just borrow it for times like this. hope it works.
in other news, i nearly forgot i have a german essay due in 12 hours. plenty of time. just annoying, as i thought i was going to sit down and watch a movie, only to be writing a paper instead.
can't always get what you want. then again, i guess i always do.
nope. gotta stop that. get it out of my HEAD!
geht aus meinem schwammkopf. ? nein. das ist sehr falsch... ich habe kein schwammkopf. ich habe ein schweinkopf. ja. das ist gut.
my grammar is abysmal. ich bin SCREWED!
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2005 9 November :: 9.15pm
:: Mood: slightly irked
ist es das Deutsches Uhr?
on a completely unrelated note:
yeah. i don't know. i'm not sure how i should feel about it at the moment.
i guess just hope for the best.
Heute, sehr viel Hausaufgaben.
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2005 8 November :: 11.25pm
:: Mood: tired?
shit
i'm beginning to realize how much confidence i've lost lately.
but i haven't yet ascertained why...
not that i was ever that confident to begin with. but i'm really getting shaky. and it totally compounds itself. and i don't know how to stop it. i guess just hanging around people who are willing to tell me how awesome i am. but they have to be people who i respect, and will believe.
and even if i am that awesome, i seem to be letting it all go to waste.
nicht gut. sehr mal. wait. mal is spanisch. oh, nevermind.
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2005 7 November :: 12.21pm
Mike came home from work with me today. And he is now currently sleeping on my couch. must be nice to be able to sleep. I slept for about an hour. Maybe. And I have to drive him home sometime today, and then go to my moms, and then to work. Yay for me. We're so cute together. I love it.
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2005 6 November :: 5.48pm
this weekend was wonderful. i had such an awesome time with jackie. it was the best. but now back to the grind. write a speech, read a book... you know the drill.
there's more i'm sure, but i just don't feel like talking about it right now.
oh... kathy got us tickets to go see harry potter 4 at the IMAX opening weekend.
i'm super-duper excited about that.
there, now you have your gossip, and you can leave me the hell alone.
:)
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2005 6 November :: 2.43pm
So Mike met my mom yesterday. She said that he looks older than 24.
Hopefully she likes him. He'll be around for awhile.
Kayliegh and I spent the night there last night.
Nick is so damn funny. Even funnier when he's drunk.
They made a pyramid with their beer cans on the counter and Nick dove over the counter through the pyramid. Hurting himself of course. But then had to do it 2 more times to make us almost piss ourselves.
This was after he rode like 2 miles on a 7 year olds bike. Being that he's 6 foot 2 it was quite hilarious.
Nick (aka bitch boy) and I were texting each other this morning, and he told me that Mike talks about me all the time and we're a perfect couple.
Before Shaun when I was dating a guy, I didn't want to see him everyday. I hated being with him all the time. I always got annoyed. I'd always say that I missed him, but I don't think I ever did. When I was dating Shaun I spent almost everyday with him. And it bothered me because he treated me like crap sometimes. Then I started dating Brian and I wanted to see him everyday. I wanted to spent every moment with him. It was like I couldn't get enough of him. Then I was content with not seeing him all the time, or being with him all the time. Then I didn't want to see him at all. Now I don't see him. I don't talk to him. Our friendship ended because he wasn't willing to like Mike, yet he wanted me to become best friends with Tiffany. Now I am happy with Mike. I see him everyday. I see him at work but not for very long. We miss each other when we're at work. When we are away from each other we feel lost. I love spending time with him. I love being with him. He's afraid that Brian is going to come back into my life and I'm going to leave him for Brian. Won't happen. I refuse to let it.
I miss him so much already, and it's only been 3 hours.
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2005 5 November :: 12.21am
I've been spending a ton of time with Mike. The only day I didn't see him outside of work was wednesday. I spent yesterday and today at his house. All we do is cuddle, while we either watch tv, talk or sleep. Trevor and Nick seem to like me. I met his cousin Bill the other night. He told me that if I get sick of Mike to give him a call. Randy from work is so happy Mike and I are together. I am so happy we're together. And he seems to be too. He told me that if I start talking about marriage I'll get a foot in my ass.
I got a call from Travis this morning. He has my stuff from Brian. I need to gather around Brians things to give to Travis to give to him. Travis apparently doesn't want anything to do with me now that I have someone other than him. But thats okay, because I'm happy.
I have cuts on my wrists from the cardboard packaging that goes on the grill covers. Martin asked me what they were from and I was like "Mike and I were having a contest to see who could be the most emo and apparently I win". It looks like I tried to kill myself. Both wrists from my hands to my elbows. Damn cutters.
What the fuck, there's a palm tree on tv that is talking and freaking out. I am so ready to go to sleep. However I need a shower more. Laundry needs to be done too. And I could clean my car out. But I am lazy and will probably make it as far as the couch. Which is like 4 feet away, if that.
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2005 3 November :: 3.58pm
:: Mood: oh my gosh.
this is funny shit.
Thu, Nov 03, 2005 -- GVHNR215_216.C.053:
POUR MARDI 8 NOVEMBRE
S’il vous plaît, lire les articles DIEU, EGALITÉ, EZECHIEL, FANATISME, GUERRE, INONDATION, INQUISITION, JOB, MAÎTRE, PATRIE, PAUL.
Posted by DAVID EICK
this is for my honors course, he just posted it on blackboard. my honors course is supposedly studying a history of european civilizations with a focus on spain.
so, why exactly did they give us someone from the french dept? that's twice now he has inadvertently regressed into french. the first time was a powerpoint about the FRENCH encyclopédie. and now we're reading voltaire's philisophical dictionary. translated from its original french. sometimes i wonder.
it's fun though. and they're absolutely brilliant. i mean it's just some incredible insight into the culture and the age and everything. really makes it come to life. but it's a shitload of reading... and writing... and worse yet, they expect you to be brilliant all the time, because you're an honors student.
and on top of it all, i guess i'm supposed to know french.
.
.
.
cognates are your friend. if anyone's tellin' you different, they tellin' you dead wrong.
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2005 3 November :: 10.18am
:: Mood: woodchipper?
Ich habe das Fernseher brauchen.
yeah. i want to just do laundry. and lay down. and watch a movie.
does that make me depressed? or lazy? because i don't think i am. i'm just a greedy bastard, that's all.
i'm alreay wearing out this keyboard, i think. i'm not sure how that's possible, but there you have it. it keeps making this strange rattling sound.
"dude, you should've gotten a dell." fuck you dell. and fuck you compaq.
i have a lot of reading to do. it's just not going to happen. oh well, right?
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2005 1 November :: 5.15pm
halloween?
oh wow. it has been crazy go nuts. yesterday was fun... i got to chill with gunnie.
i taught my communications class about differential calculus... in under five minutes.
i just barely finished my paper today. and it's a few lines short. i'm not anticipating an awesome grade. i don't even want to reread it.
and the presentation today i think went fairly well. it was only like 6-7 minutes, instead of the 10 we were shooting for, but after the long rambling ones, and the fact that she's still trying to catch up to professor eick, i think she appreciated it being shorter. i'm sure we'll get a decent grade. it covered the pertinent points, related them to the class discussion, etc. it wasn't terribly INTERESTING, but i've never been that great with that. i tried to make some jokes. some were nice enough to give us some courtesy laughter. it just wasn't really that funny of a subject.
bleh. g'night.
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2005 31 October :: 9.24pm
cannot wait for january. i turn 19. can expliot one thing canada gives me. legal drinking.
i hear the street of windsor (sp?) is a 19-21 years olds dream.
spring break 2006
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2005 31 October :: 9.11am
Mike bought me 2 dozen yellow roses with orange tips on saturday.
He spoils me. Tonight we are going out to dinner. He told me he would take me anywhere that I want to go. And I chose taco bell. Of course. But thats just how I am. He treats me good. I work at the Cedar Street plant now. And thats where he works. Last night he was giving someone a break and he saw me across the way, and blew me a kiss. Then sent me a text message saying "You're so beautiful". It was cute.
He's 24. Has a 7 year old daughter. We'll see how things go. I cannot wait until tonight.
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2005 30 October :: 11.33pm
:: Mood: coffee buzzzzzz........... zzzzzzz..... *snore
:: Music: i had "up on the housetop" running through my head. so, barenaked for the holidays.
today was an absolute blast. i got to go up north and drive fast on curvy roads. i was following a guy in an '04 R32, and even he was impressed with how fast my car was. the other guy was in a supercharged cabriolet.
not to be a dick or anything, but sometimes, i just totally kick ass.
however, i need to get those valve lashings right. i think that may be where the noise is coming from. if the space is too big, the cam kinda slaps the shim upon opening, and i think that's causing the parts to wear out. so, i need to get thicker shims in there, so it won't "slap" (hence the clicking noise). i mean there's inevitably going to be SOME lifter noise, but this is frickin' absurd.
however, the car really liked the drive today. it felt good to push it out. i need to do that more often. but it's just so damn expensive. and i'm not talking gas. i mean it's everything... gas, tires, repairs, brakes, track fees, etc. it's just too expensive of a hobby for me to feasibly have... at least, right now.
.
tonight we had the last sir isaac newton meeting. we still have yet to do a full runthrough, but oh well. the half-assed one was like 4 mins short. so, we have lots of space to fill, which works because we were trimming stuff out. which, i told them not to do, but oh well. i guess that makes me not a very good leader.
but we had a wonderful philosophical discussion after the meeting. for like an hour. and i've come to the conclusion that if sarah's theory on multiple soulmates is correct, then cara may be one of mine. i mean, it's unconfirmed of course, because i don't know her that well, but i mean, she knows what i'm talking about when i say stuff... if that makes sense. which, i realize, it doesn't. but it does to me. if you were a soul mate, you'd get it...
it's just not in the common context that the term "soul mate" is usually used. it's a different meaning entirely. but i can't exactly explain it.
i'm tired, i'm rambling. i'm thinking about just going to bed.
speech for tomorrow.
presentation, paper, and oodles of reading for tues.
and i have to do laundry, take my library books back, and not forget to hang with gunnie. or at least call and reschedule. but i'd rather not... it's halloween!
hm. how to make this happen. that is the question.
i don't think coffee alone will work.
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2005 30 October :: 8.24pm
Hey mother fuckers, wish gravy a happy fucking birthday, assholes.
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