phil-himself
|
::
2008 11 December :: 3.30pm
Heh, so I guess some people don't like what I have to say.
2 Open Fire |
[x]
|
jayzulla
|
::
2008 11 December :: 12.34am
:: Music: lil wayne - walk it out (chalk it out)
Life?!?!?!?!??????????
i have tickets to see Clutch on the 31st. Be jealous. i also spent about an hour of my day today think if i would like to start wrestling again. watching the ufc got me thinking about all of that stuff again. it was so much fun and i was actually pretty sweet at it. only thing that sucks is i would definatly have to cut smoking anything wayyyyyyyyyy down, just to get back to my conditioning. i think i could make weight at 155 and that would give me a huge advantage. i just wish i knew of a league that didnt do it at highschools. i loved freestyle but im not about to start travling to high schools every weekend to wrestle.
oh, josh koscheck = pimp. got his most destructive KO in his career tonight, and he has been one of my favorite fighters since i got into UFC.
4 Open Fire |
[x]
|
|
phil-himself
|
::
2008 9 December :: 12.10am
People are showing their true colors.
Rather disappointed with folks.
4 Open Fire |
[x]
|
acidtears
|
::
2008 8 December :: 11.23pm
:: Mood: productive
Don't mean to flip flop..
But I am sick of feeling angry towards my dad. I am tired of feeling like all he does is blow the chances I give him. Once again, do not mean to flip flop, but I am done. I really am. And not done as in finished with him. I think me and him just need to have a heart to heart. No, he is not the easiest person to talk to, in fact, he is the hardest person I know of to talk to. About anything. Unless it's cars, Harley's, Tattoos, Music, or whatever else he is into. But, I really am just exhausted with this whole mess. And so I believe now it is time to clean it up. Try my best to make things work. Make things decent at the least. Any step forward would be better than this, right now. I think I am doing the mature thing, and also the best thing for us both. I don't want to have a bad relationship with my dad. I don't want the only things I say about him to be bad ones. I would really hate it if me and him ended up in the future with no communication or relationship with each other. I want to hear things from him first hand. Not from extended family members or my siblings. I don't want to look back on this and think "Why didn't I just talk to him about how I was feeling?".
So I am making the decision to talk it out.
"I think you guys just need to sit down and hash all of this stuff out"...I think you're right, Mom. And I trust you. So I am going to.
No more angry blogs about my father...I hope anyways.
Wish me luck.
-Samm
2 Open Fire |
[x]
|
|
jayzulla
|
::
2008 8 December :: 2.29pm
MSU vs Georgia for the Capital One Bowl.
Oh and I have heard possiblities of Colt McCoy or Juice Williams for the Lions next season.
2 Open Fire |
[x]
|
|
phil-himself
|
::
2008 8 December :: 12.52pm
I want to be pickles the drummer
8 Open Fire |
[x]
|
|
phil-himself
|
::
2008 7 December :: 12.18pm
2 Open Fire |
[x]
|
|
acidtears
|
::
2008 6 December :: 6.24pm
:: Music: "Bad Influence" By: Pink
Good times..
After hearing about my bad night, I am greatful to say I have a great friend who was willing to brave the storms to come out to my house. Jess, thank you so much. That made me night. And once again, I'm sorry I wasn't able to make it to your Birthday dinner. But, it was the first time in a LONG time you stayed at my house. First time in a long time anyone has stayed at my house. I had a good time. And usually you stay awake way after I go to sleep, haha. But, like you said, you were running on an hour of sleep. So, I can't really blame you for passing out as soon as I put the blanket on you. We didn't go anywhere, other than the store and Burger King, but we had alot of fun. We watched "Ghost Adventures" and made fun of the guy doing the show. "Are you touching me right now, Raymond?" "I don't care, I hate snakes. If I see one, I don't even care. I'm running away and screaming like a girl. I hate snakes." "No one should go out that way..in a shower...or naked." "Our gift to you is Aaron." "What the hell dude!" Good times, good times.
I want you to know I really appreciate you coming over last night. If it wasn't for you, I probably would have a horrible night. Thank you and I love you!
-Samm
P.S.- Thank you for the King Size Reese's Cups, Some of your Hershey's Bar, and what was left of your small fries.
2 Open Fire |
[x]
|
|
acidtears
|
::
2008 5 December :: 9.36pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: "It's all your fault" By: Pink
Father dearest,
It hurt on Monday when we saw each other at Brie's concert and you didn't say hi to me, or even acknowledge I was there. But, it's just getting ridiculous. I am going to let loose right now, because everyone who knows about you, knows I need to. You ignored me all night at Brianna's Choir Concert. No hi, no wave, nada. Okay, whatever, maybe you wanted to get in the Auditorium quick to get a seat. Fine. But, afterwards, you give all of the other kids a hug and say you love them and goodbye. What did I get? I'll tell you. A cold shoulder. If this is about me and dropping out of High School and getting my GED, you don't have to fucking treat me like I just told you I was addicted to heroin. You barely look at me, you don't say a word, until tonight.
Dad: So, you're not going then I take it?
Samm: No, I'm not feeling great right now, I have to help with Ava, and I have plans with Jess this weekend.
Dad: *Corners Samm* Are you mad at Allison[1]or something?!
Samm: Umm, no, why the hell would I be?
Dad: You didn't say anything to her all night Monday at Brie's concert.
Samm: I said hi and had a WHOLE conversation even about hair colour.
Dad: Fine.
[1] Allison is my dad's girlfriend. Right it seems to me that maybe she is running to my dad when I don't have a whole lot to say.
I didn't like the way you cornered me and towered over me, like you used to when I was a little kid. I wanted to cry, revert back to the five year old scared of her dad. I wish my mother had spawn me and the 3 other kids with someone nicer. Someone better. Someone who wouldn't go a month or so without a phone call or visit.
I would never pull the trigger,
But I have cried wolf a thousand times,
I wish you could feel as bad as I do,
I have lost my mind.
Alot of my blogs are about you. But, I wish that for once I could have a good blog about you. You crush that hope all the time. Right now, you are treating me like a disease. "Stay away from her, don't touch, barely talk to her, and don't really look at her". This damn song is on repeat. Because parts of it remind me of you. I wish we could have a good relationship. But, I am done trying. I'm the one making the attempt, and when I try to find common ground with you, you say "hmm, hmmph, uh huh, ok". Your usual responses. Like my ideas are stupid. And sorry to say this; Wait, strike that. Fuck being sorry. I'm done with that. But, frankly, your girlfriend, Allison, seems a bit stuck up. She tips her nose up everytime she's around us. Everytime I bring up a thought, she makes me feel stupid. With her polite frown and "hmm" remarks. Maybe thats why you think we didn't talk that night. I was doing the talking, she was just saying "hmm". One way conversation. I mean come on, why her? Now Brooke, she was the best. We were like friends, her and I. Her parents(I still call them Grandma and Grandpa Miller to this day) took us bowling, to karaoke, etc. Her dad was awesome. We all watched NASCAR together, he got me those "Metal Edge" magazines I loved, they both spoiled us. What happened? Fuck that up to?
You know Dad, I want you to be happy. But, lately, I just want you to feel half of the hurt I feel. So, if you are going to continue to ignore me, treat me like shit, make me feel like a horrible person, guilt trip me, etc..... then don't come back for me every other weekend. I want someone who is supportive, understanding, caring, loving, funny, genuinely nice, etc. for a dad. You try. But, you can't wear that mask forever. You can't pretend to be a family guy who loves to spend time with his kids. Because come on man, we know thats not true. Or, if it was, you wouldn't ditch them for concerts, parties, bowling, and, oh of course...Allison. Don't worry about me anymore. The tears will evaporate, my smile will come back..brighter than ever. And it won't be my dear old dad who gave me the thousand watt smile. It will be my mom. Because she is the definition of a parent. You are the guy who likes to pretend he doesn't have kids. Especially me because I am a High school drop out who had a pregnancy scare. Sorry we aren't all as perfect as you. Bye.
-Samm
4 Open Fire |
[x]
|
|
acidtears
|
::
2008 5 December :: 11.59am
:: Mood: gahh
:: Music: "Bad Influence" By: Pink
I'm so glad..
He makes everything seem at least a little better. Everything seems less complicated while the other guy is IMing and saying I am wrong. I guess maybe I am. Oh, maybe you are a sweet, innocent guy. Or, maybe(more like probably) not. And when I finally say to you that I'm done, you come back at me with "Not the first person to say that". Maybe because you push people away without realizing it. Maybe it's because you treat girls like they are just some prostitute you picked up from the streets. Maybe because you don't even know when you're doing it. Deny, Deny, Deny all you want. I'm done. Honestly. Completely. Fed up. Things seemed okay, for a little while, then I just started to ignore everything dispicable about you. I'm done ignoring them. Done pretending they don't exist. Done saying "He's not that bad". Finished. To all of you out there who support me, thanks alot. I wouldn't have been able to do it without you. Now, I am going to have a good conversation. With the guy who makes me feel like a person. Instead of the one who makes me feel like a pile of shit.
-Samm
2 Open Fire |
[x]
|
spud
|
::
2008 4 December :: 10.41pm
dude.
i just got rickrolled on my phone. it was pretty sweet.
i just wish i knew who did it, so i could give them a high five.
that made my night. f'realz.
still sucking at getting school work done.
but that's okay.
3 Open Fire |
[x]
|
|
acidtears
|
::
2008 4 December :: 10.22pm
oh god...the conversations we have..
J A K E S T A Y # 3 1 says:
want me to make a rap?
Wall flower says:
how?
Wall flower says:
whats the topic?..lol
J A K E S T A Y # 3 1 says:
hmm
J A K E S T A Y # 3 1 says:
gimme some
Wall flower says:
umm.....eric chunn
Wall flower says:
I would love to hear that rap
Wall flower says:
lol
J A K E S T A Y # 3 1 says:
erica chunn
J A K E S T A Y # 3 1 says:
you gotta have fun
J A K E S T A Y # 3 1 says:
but not in that way bro
J A K E S T A Y # 3 1 says:
thats not how you treat a ho
J A K E S T A Y # 3 1 says:
wtf are you doin
J A K E S T A Y # 3 1 says:
what are ya thinkin bro
J A K E S T A Y # 3 1 says:
thats all i got
J A K E S T A Y # 3 1 says:
lol
Wall flower says:
it makes me laugh...I like it
Wall flower says:
lol
J A K E S T A Y # 3 1 says:
except your not a ho
J A K E S T A Y # 3 1 says:
DUDE I GOTTA RIGHT THis SHIT DOWN!
J A K E S T A Y # 3 1 says:
it needs to be quoted
Oh boy Jake, you sure know how to make me feel better about the assholes in my life. Thank you. HaHa.
(Copyrighted by Jake Stay. Any copying could result in a cap in yo ass)
2 Open Fire |
[x]
|
|
jayzulla
|
::
2008 4 December :: 2.03pm
The new Hulk movie is sweet. Norton is the best B. Banner. Also Tim Roth was a sweet Abomination.
edit : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kF1VgQh_3nQ one of the best parodies ever.
5 Open Fire |
[x]
|
rayray
|
::
2008 4 December :: 1.39pm
That was the most nerve racking experience of my life..
Took my civil service test..
I am hoping I passed, not just so that I can apply for a corrections job, but so that I dont have to go through that again..
3 Open Fire |
[x]
|
|
phil-himself
|
::
2008 4 December :: 1.08pm
Fuck it let's go bowling
2 Open Fire |
[x]
|
|
acidtears
|
::
2008 4 December :: 9.51am
:: Music: "Gives you hell" by: All American Rejects
Bit of a change in lyrics, but, only made em' towards a guy.
I wake up every evening
With a big smile on my face
And it never feels out of place
And you're still probably workin'
At a 9 to 5 pace
I wonder how bad that tastes
When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
Now where's your pickett fence, love?
And where's that shiny car?
It didn't ever get you far
And you never seemed so tense, love
I've never seen you fall so hard
Do you know where you are?
And truth be told, I miss you
And truth be told, I'm lyin'
When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you find a girl
That's worth a damn
And treats you well
Then she's a fool
You're just as well
Hope it gives you hell
I hope it gives you hell
Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself
"Where did I go wrong?"
But the list goes on and on
But truth be told, I miss you
And truth be told, I'm lyin'
When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you find a girl
That's worth a damn
And treats you well
Then she's a fool
You're just as well
Hope it gives you hell
Now you'll never see
What you've done to me
You can take back your memories
They're no good to me
And here's all your lies
You can look me in the eyes
With the sad, sad look
That you wear so well
When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you find a girl
That's worth a damn
And treats you well
Then she's a fool
You're just as well
Hope it gives you hell
When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
(Hope it gives you hell)
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
(Hope it gives you hell)
When you hear this song
And you sing along
But you never tell
(You never tell)
Then you're a fool
I'm just as well
Hope it gives you hell
When you hear this song
I hope that it will give you hell
When you sing along
I hope that it will treat you well
[x]
|
|
acidtears
|
::
2008 4 December :: 8.53am
:: Music: "Someday(I will understand)" by: Britney Spears
Nothing seems to be the way
That it used to
Everything seems shallow
God give me truth
In me
And tell me somebody is watching
Over me
And that is all I'm praying is that
Someday I will understand
In God's whole plan
And what he's done to me
Oh but maybe
Someday I will breathe
And I'll finally see
I'll see it all in my baby
Don't you run too fast my dear
Why don't you stop?
Just stop and listen to your tears
They're all you've got
It's in you
You see somebody is watching
Over you
And that is all I'm praying is that
Someday you will understand
In God's whole plan
And what he does to you
Oh but maybe
Someday you will breathe
And you'll finally see
You'll see it all in your baby
You'll see it all in your baby
No moment
Will be more true
Than the moment
I look at you
It's in you
You see somebody is watching
Over you
And that is all I'm praying is that
Someday you will understand
In God's whole plan
And what he does to you
Oh but maybe
Someday you will breathe
And you'll finally see
You'll see it all in your baby
You'll see it all in your baby
You'll see it all in your baby
You'll see it all in your baby
[x]
|
|
acidtears
|
::
2008 4 December :: 7.37am
Bitch, shut up.
You know, I tried to believe you when you said that you didn't really like him and that you were sorry for your actions. But, last night, hanging out across the street with you and the other two Sam's, that just got on my nerves. I really think you did it on purpose. Tried to hurt my feelings. Woo-Fucking-Hoo, you and Adam do shit. You better be prepared to hurt like never before because he won't date you just because you guys have sex. Some of the things you said last night, I just stared at you like "do you really think I want to know this?". It was just "me and Adam did this, Adam said this, We are going to do this, and look at what Adam did to my boobs" the whole time I was there.
Why in the hell did I find so much comfort in being friends with someone like you?
Why did I want your company in the past?
Last night made me realise that you are really a whore and a waste of my time and efforts. And today's your Birthday, but know what.. there will be no "Happy Birthday" wishes from me..nothing but sarcastic ones anyway. I save the real birthday wishes for my real friends. Then last night, standing there with you in Sam's breezeway, you told me what you were going to get for your birthday. "Adam's virginity". Then you smirked. Fuck you, you are nothing but a fucking whore. It doesn't really bother me that you and him are doing stuff, I got over that. What bugs me is that you continue to bring it up to get on my nerves.
But go on. Go on with your ways. Because I'm not going to be there when you turn around anymore. I'm done with you and your shit. You seem a bit pathetic to me and VERY obnoxious at this point. So good bye.
6 years means nothing to me. And obviously you as well. BFF's my ass. Peace out.
-Samm
2 Open Fire |
[x]
|
|
phil-himself
|
::
2008 4 December :: 2.47am
Does anyone read this hellacious string of nonsensical rants anymore?
13 Open Fire |
[x]
|
|
acidtears
|
::
2008 3 December :: 1.19pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: "It's all your fault" by: Pink
It's all your fault, you called me beautiful..
First time I talked to you in a few days. It was the first time you asked me how I was. Not the question I was expecting from someone like you. But, of course, the only reason you asked me was because I asked you. I hate that your only intention is to get laid. I hate that you only ask me how I'm doing if it's convenient for you. I do not expect a relationship with you. Why would I want one? You get jealous easily(and get this, we aren't even dating, imagine if we were), you think you are always right, you are a serial cheater, you are everything I need to stay away from. So why can't I easily break this chain between us? I don't even like you. So why do I feel stuck? To you. I think I might know the answer to that. I believe it might be because I'm afraid to be alone at night. I think that if I lose everyone else, and get rid of you, I will have no one to turn to. I know that's not true, but sometimes I feel like that. I cling to you like a security blanket and it's sickening. My friends know what you're like, and I do too. Why can't I listen to them and myself? But you know what's funny? Earlier when you called me "hun", it didn't make me smile like it used to. I didn't even smirk. I didn't blush. I didn't giggle. I think this flame has gone out. At least on my end. You're like poison to me. But I still continue to stay in your life, despite your toxic sentences and ways. I continue to say "I'm thinking of dropping him" to her, and she tells me I should do it. I know I should. And as bad as this might sound, I have someone else. Well, I don't "have" him, but things are going on. (Not what you're thinking) And I can't help but think, what happens if I lose both of you? I mean, getting rid of or even losing you won't be so bad. I could live. But, if things went sour between me and him, where do I go from there? I mean, he's the one who asks me questions like "How was your day?", "How are you right now?", "What are you thinking about?", etc. And guess what.. he doesn't ask me any of those things just because I asked him. He always asks them first. Makes sure I'm better than okay. And no, we are not "building a relationship", we are just flirting, but you know, at least he is nice enough to ask me those questions. Instead of just "What are you wearing?". I've dug myself this hole, and now I plan on getting out of it. It might be a little bit hard to climb back out, considering the hole is 11 feet deep and I'm only 5 foot 5. But, I am damn sure that my Bestie will help me out. She will reach her arm in as far as she can and pull me out herself. Because that's what we do for each other. We understand that we dug our holes ourselves, but we are still willing to pull each other out. And if she ever gets into a hole too deep, she needs to know I will pull her out. She's everything and more I could ask for in a Best Friend, and I love her for it.
So Jess....will you help pull me out?
Because I'm in way too deep.
-Samm
2 Open Fire |
[x]
|
|
phil-himself
|
::
2008 1 December :: 2.49pm
Saturday night at the liquor store
Thought this sounded kinda dirty
[x]
|
|
phil-himself
|
::
2008 29 November :: 4.16am
Another fun night of bowling. My game average has a direct correlation with beer consumption however, fun times none the less. Really getting into bowling, going to get a ball for christmas from the folks.
Open invite for any friends that want to join us in bowling alley shennaniganz, hit me up for details.
4 Open Fire |
[x]
|
|
acidtears
|
::
2008 28 November :: 4.46pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: "Year of the Cat" by: Al Stewart
When your eyes turned grey, could it be I made them shine awhile?
I need to get away. I need to get out of this house...soon. I'm tired of being cooped up and bored. I need social interaction other than MSN and Eric on webcam. I try making plans, but it seems lately that something always goes wrong. Tonight, I need to get out of here. Leave for a while. But, I'm not sure how that's going to go. I don't like admitting this really, but, I don't have many friends anymore. I mainly have two. I don't have many others. Kayliegh, and Jess. I used to at least hang out with Aubri during the day, but, since that incident I don't talk to her much. My sister tells me things like "Aubri asked how you are...and she said hi". Whatever. But, I don't have much else to update about. Bye.
-Samm
5 Open Fire |
[x]
|
|
phil-himself
|
::
2008 27 November :: 1.41pm
So the old techtv has been somewhat resurrected under the name Revision3, a web channel.
Better yet, they have a weekly podcast that is very much like the Screen Savers entitled tekzilla. I am very excited I discovered this today. The screen savers was probably my all time favorite show and one of the big reasons I got into tech.
Revision3
Tekzilla
[x]
|
|
jayzulla
|
::
2008 27 November :: 2.31am
step 1 - drink vanilla vodka and rootbeer (was absolutly chronic). step 2 - go to the club. step 3 - go home and eat and burt yourself on the oven grandma boy style. step 4 - get plenty of sleep to feast upon bird tomorrow. and sneak some to the pendubs.
1 Open Fire |
[x]
|
|
rayray
|
::
2008 26 November :: 2.11pm
I'd like to believe that we decide when to wash our hands, or reveal the skeletons that we keep baracaded in our closets.
On our own terms, at the right time, and when necessary.
But in reality that doesn't happen.
Sometimes the past comes whirling in and everything else that mattered completely stops.
..While driving around greenville today, I had all these insightful thoughts that I planned to write. But when I got home I got side-tracked and had to do laundry. Now all those thoughts are barely there..
Crap.
5 Open Fire |
[x]
|
|
jayzulla
|
::
2008 25 November :: 10.13pm
A.I. for right now, what do you know about Lebron James in 2010?
Im thinking Pistons will destroy everything.
edit : thinking about getting cornrows, A.I. style. Not sure yet though.
[x]
|
|
phil-himself
|
::
2008 25 November :: 12.24am
:: Mood: aggravated
Karma comes around in full, I keep thinking of that. Believe what you want but the grapevine lies and the liars within can go fucking drown.
3 Open Fire |
[x]
|
|
phil-himself
|
::
2008 23 November :: 12.08pm
So apparently I was the only one that knew about old greg yesterday
1 Open Fire |
[x]
|
|
