:: 2007 6 November :: 8.13 pm

i just want it back.

i just want to be able to sit and talk and laugh.
and not have to hide all the time.
i want to feel safe.

.

:: 2007 6 November :: 7.18 pm

what career are you going to pursue?

a logger. what else am i going to do with a saw for a foot?

.

:: 2007 6 November :: 5.43 am

"The best thing, though, in that museum was that everything always stayed right where it was. Nobody'd move. You could go there a hundred thousand times, and that Eskimo would still be just finished catching those two fish, the birds would still be on their way south, the deers would still be drinking out of that water hole, with their pretty antlers and their pretty, skinny legs, and that squaw with the naked bosom would still be weaving that same basket. Nobody'd be different. The only thing that would be different would be you. Not that you'd be so much older or anything. It wouldn't be that exactly. You'd just be different, that's all. You'd have and overcoat on this time. Or the kid that was your partner in line last time had got scarlet fever and you'd have a new partner. Or you'd have a substitute taking the class, instead of Miss Aigletiner. Or you'd heard your mother and father having a terrific fight in the bathroom. Or you'd just passed by one of those puddles in the street with gasoline rainbows in them. I mean you'd be different in some way--I can't explain what I mean. and even if i could, I'm not sure I'd feel like it."

.

:: 2007 4 November :: 3.25 pm

This would not have happened if I hadn't missed my plane
I would've been there when they told you I'm the rat within the grain
Within this big misunderstanding now, I'm being misunderstood
I'm thinkin' someone's trying to fuck with me and set fire to my wood

I wouldn't want you to want to be wanted by me
I wouldn't want you to worry you'd be drowned within my sea
I only wanted to be wonderful, and wonderful is true
In truth, I only really wanted to be wanted by you

It's a stupid situation now where everything goes wrong
If you can't tell if I am lying, then you do not belong
In my bed, go rest your head upon the bones of a bigger man
And he can cover you with rockwool and you can close up like a clam

'Cause I wouldn't want you to want to be wanted by me
I wouldn't want you to worry you'd be drowned within my sea
I only wanted to be wonderful, and wonderful is true
In truth, I only really wanted to be wanted by you

So go play with your piano and write a mediocre song
About this shell of mediocrity
And pretend there's nothing wrong
I never thought you were a chicken shit
I never thought of you at all
Until you asked me to be part of it
And now you're showing me a wall

I wouldn't want you to want to be wanted by me
I wouldn't want you to worry you'd be drowned within my sea
I only wanted to be wonderful and wonderful is true
In truth, I only really wanted to be wanted by you

La la la...

In truth, I only really wanted to be wanted by you

.

:: 2007 30 October :: 5.58 am

this week is going to be so shitty.
1. write personal essay by friday
2. write proposal essay for senior culminating project by friday
3. figure out what to do for senior culminating project
4. finish biome project for neff
5. halloween
6. birthday
7. talk to councilor about senior culminating project & college shit.
8. buy some knives
9. edit my senior pictures and turn them in (SOOOO LATE)
10. figure out senior quote and turn it in


slkdjflsdkjflskdfj

oh well, life goes on.
:D

.