drowning-in-you
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2004 24 January :: 11.34pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Brand New - The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows
damn it's getting there...
i just realized today that it's downhill now...i'm a senior & this is it...& i found that no matter what i do after high school i won't be happy...so i'm fucked in the ear...lol...i'm having problems w/ danny...(hard to believe right? *ugh*)...anyways...i can't be his friend but if i tell him that then i'll be lost...
why did he fuck up?...
"how long til i'm not just dreaming, how long til somebody cares, how long til i meet an angel to give him my heart, when can i start, how long til i fall in love?"...lyrics from dream...
i found my "angel"...joey...he made me realize that he listens & actually cares...hell he came to the concert tonight...& made me feel important...something i haven't felt in a long while...the concert by the way went ok...it just made me feel like i'm gonna miss out next year...& it makes me feel stupid for not doing it my first 2 years...
damn i'm tired & stressed out now so i'ma go now...talk later...
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 24 January :: 10.36pm
:: Music: Ricky Martin & Meja - Private Emotion
...
Randy: You are in the middle of being totally honest and being too nice. You like giving people secod chances...
Which American Idol Judge Would You Be? brought to you by Quizilla
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 24 January :: 7.52am
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: fefe dobson - Everything
a long day ahead of me...
well i'm gonna have to start getting ready to leave for ec in like 40 mins...tonight is the concert, & like lastnight, i'm not excited...but it'll probably change i dunno...i was bummed out lastnight & i kinda couldn't understand why, but oh well...i'm waiting to be disapointed tonight like i always am...it sux i wanted to burn this cd but something on my computer isn't right... :( ...damnit...oh well...i guess i'll be going...i'm gonna have to put in my contacts...*fuck*...there goes like 20 mins of getting ready...lol...talk later...
wish me luck...
1 Lost Their Way |
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 23 January :: 11.43pm
:: Mood: stressed
:: Music: Evanescence - Whisper
do i suck?
had honor band tonight & it was ok...i dunno i just feel outta place & don't want to go tomorrow...i supposed to sell cookies as an incentive for the carrot queen thingy, but i think brad made me see lastnight that basically i'm a total faliure & i mind as well give up...i've never been one to be a quiter, but i just can't do it...*sigh*...i suck...
lately i feel like joey's holding back from me, like there's something wrong, but i can't help...it's like that other post from yesterday..."how can i help you if i can't even help myself?"...*sigh*...once again, i suck...
what if something was wrong w/ him & i couldn't do anything?...damn i'm the worst gf i swear...*sigh*...
well i'm really tired, so i'm gonna stay online like i usually do...talk later...
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 22 January :: 8.41pm
:: Mood: disappointed
:: Music: Evanescence - Take Me Away From Me
damnit all to hell
brad told me my name was stupid...no no no not my name my sn on messenger...i dunno i think we fucked up our friendship...*ugh*...damn emotions...
i'm sorry...
*grr* talk later...
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 22 January :: 6.49pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: Brandy - What About Us?
*yay* i got contacts!
yeah i got them today...they were a bitch to put in...but it's coo...hopefully i'll get colored ones in the next 2 weeks when i go back...tomorrow i have the last of my finals so that's gonna be exciting...i'm getting out of math analysis class to t.a. for mr. cox...at least i'll still be somewhat working in the department of math so that's coo...more than likely it's just grading papers (which i did when i had his class & trust me they were so easy, i even finished all my homework in there & the grading papers before the class ended...but then again that's just me)...& he'll probably send me to get him cokes...he's a coke freak...so yeah that's gonna be interesting...
so yeah...talk later...
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 21 January :: 10.14pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: Evanescence - Where Will You Go?
"i am so sick of speaking words that no one understands, is it clear enough that you can't live your whole life all alone, i can hear you in a whisper but you can't even hear me screaming"
i just can't stand ppl anymore, maybe just because i'm on my rag, i dunno...but i can only stand to listen to so many ppl before i just want to punch ppl...just some ppl i can't help anymore...
i can't even help myself, so how can i be of any help to you?...
talk later...
2 Lost Their Way |
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 21 January :: 3.29pm
:: Mood: curious
:: Music: Corey Taylor - Bother
another damn day...
i'm so bored right now...my period was killing me today...the fucking drummers pist me off, but i didn't get to hit them like i would've...lol...school was alrighty i guess...mac's final was alrighty i guess too...i could've done better, but whatever...i'm worried bout all my other finals, but whatever too...lol...i'm in an "alrighty, i guess, whatever" mood eh?...anyways, i saw my step mom & i got kinda bummed out cuz i didn't feel like she wanted to see me, like i was there to just sign a paper (i had to sign something for insurance or something)...so yeah...i started to cry a little & bitched bout it, & i didn't realize my step bro was behind me...it's not that i hate them, i hate myself for leaving the way i did...& i have this feeling they hate me...maybe i'm better off i dunno, but i just hate how that whole situation makes me feel...& if reuben were to read this, i'd want him to know that i dont' hate them & that i didn't mean to be bitching, cuz i was just bummed out big time...*sigh*...anyways, i'm still thinking of ways to sell my damn tickets...chavez is more interested in this, which is a great motivator for me, but i only have a week left to sell like an avg of 2,000 tickets...if anyone wants to buy them, comment please...anyways, i'ma go & study...lol yeah right...talk later...
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 21 January :: 7.27am
you are a..MODERN vampire. you are pretty much in the middle of good and evil. you dont mind humans, but you like going along with your insticts as well. you show your opposite sides at very different times. you can be kind and merciful, but suddenly harsh and cold. you sometimes make a game of it. are you kidding? are you serious? one wrong step and who knows! you love tranquill water, going with the flow. you are pretty nutral
what kind of vampire are you?(hellsing pics) brought to you by Quizilla
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 21 January :: 7.15am
:: Mood: moody
:: Music: something on mtv
so another morning...
*ugh* i started my period today...joey predicted last night that i would, so he gets a gold star!...lol...*...see there it was...not so gold, but what can you do really?...anyways, he was really cute last night...when he was dropping me off i fell asleep...he parked & tried to wake me up softly by kinda shaking my hand & putting his face near mine...& the sweetest thing he told me..."hey, we're home."...like we're actually living together & him saying "we're home" was just the greatest feeling...then i woke up...literally...& he's not living with me...he walked me to my door & we went our seperate ways for the night...but it was so cute...*sigh*...oh well...i've got finals this week starting today...thank god we don't have a final for band...but i have to take mac's final for a midsummer night's dream...so yeah i think i'll do ok on it...well talk later...
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 20 January :: 4.03pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: Alison Krauss & James Taylor - How's the world treating you?
this just seems to be such a great song i guess...
i'm feeling like crap...i felt like ppl were ignoring me today for the sole purpose of popularity or something...& ppl were just using me for odd things...i guess maybe it's just that i'm feeling sick...i dunno...i don't feel like going to the radio station today...*ugh* i just don't know...talk later...
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 19 January :: 10.03am
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: Alison Krauss & James Taylor - How's the world treating you?
hmm...i dunno...i don't think it's correct....
You Should Consider Taking a Break!
So maybe this guy isn't break up material...
But you've had enough of him, for now.
Tell him you want a break - or keep it to yourself.
Either way, spend some time away from this guy -
And see if absence makes *your* heart grow fonder.
Should You Break Up With Him? Take This Quiz :-)
Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.
but tests are tests, they mean nothing...or do they?...talk later...
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 19 January :: 9.35am
:: Mood: gloomy
:: Music: Alison Krauss & James Taylor - How's the world treating you?
boring boring boring...
yeah i'm kinda bored...i'ma dye my hair black today...hopefully i get to see the ppl i want to see...i know brad won't be one of them...i think, well you know what? i don't know what to think anymore...but i do know that there are some ppl that need to realize something...IF I PUT A NAME IN CODE THAT MEANS I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU WHO THE FUCK IT IS K?...
ok...talk later...
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 19 January :: 9.09am
:: Mood: horny
:: Music: Alison Krauss & James Taylor - How's the world treating you?
oh lordy!
nice ;)
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 18 January :: 10.49pm
:: Mood: confused
...so yeah...
well i'm talking to "brad" right now & it seems like he doesn't want to talk to me...i really hope we didn't screw up the relationship we had before this...:(...in other news, i'm gonna dye my hair black tomorrow & if anyone gives me shit bout it, i'ma fucking knock their teeth in...yeah i'm kinda bitter right now...well talk later....
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 18 January :: 5.28pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: Nelly - #1
so...
well joey did come over today...it helped since i had kinda a bad morning...god i just felt like shit earlier...well i'm kinda feeling better, i have a stuffy nose right now...hopefully my dad takes me out cuz i want to dye my hair tonight...i need to do something different again...lol...well talk later...
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 18 January :: 12.32pm
:: Mood: hopeful
i owe my life to
October 28, 2005...just a date to you...but to me, it means everything...
never forget me...remember me though it will hurt for both of us...remember not only the good, but the great, & let the bad linger into an open road that will wind away from us...never forget me...
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 18 January :: 8.48am
:: Mood: thinking
:: Music: mad tv
i woke up...damn
well i didn't get to talk to brad last night...or even joey...actually not even danny, & there some ppl may be thinking somethings wrong...well whatever...i think i'm getting sick, so i'm debating whether or not i should go to church...i really don't feel like seeing a bunch of ppl there...it would require me to get up off my lazy ass...*oi*...my dad wants to hang out today, but i don't really want to do that either...i have a feeling i may see joey, but i dunno...& to be honest, i'm not sure if i really want to...oh well...i'm tired & bored out of my mind...i could go...but i'm too tired to even drive...but i bet most of you are thinking, "but i bet you're not tired of getting online right?"....lol yeah i guess you could say...anyways...well i'm gonna figure out somethings & i'll talk later...
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 17 January :: 7.21pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: No Doubt - It's my life
damnit
brad turned out to be a coo guy...kinda sux though, not that he's coo, but yeah...i think some ppl may know where this one is going...anyways, in other news, i figured out that i need to tell danny straight up somethings bout us, but it's all bout timing right? right...as for my little problem earlier, i dunno what i have to do to get joey's family to trust me...the worst thought i had bout that today was maybe making them think they're right & leave, but i couldn't...it's selfish & stupid...the only way i'd really leave like that is if they actually asked me to...& maybe even then i dunno...*sigh*...
i think i'm gonna start my period soon cuz i'm not feeling to great anymore...ni modo eh?...well i'ma get going...waiting impatiently to see if brad will get online or call tonight...lol...talk later...
2 Lost Their Way |
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 17 January :: 5.04pm
:: Mood: crazy
:: Music: some stuff on my media player
bored yet again, but yeah
You Will Be an Unconventional Bride!
You're probably the type of girl who never considered getting married - until you met *him*
You're not a big fan of white dresses, church weddings, or cheesy DJ's
That's okay - you'll do it your way... whether that means a Vegas wedding or guys as bridesmen
While you may not toss the bouquet (or have anyone to toss it to), it will still be the most romantic day of your life!
What Kind of Bride Will You Be? Take This Quiz :-)
Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 17 January :: 1.06pm
:: Mood: pissed off
leave it the fuck alone...
You're the suggestive grin,mostly used while flirting and accompanied by the come-hither look.You're either an attention hog or way too insecure to not be in the spotlight at all times.No one can quite tell.Calm down and learn to be regular,ya perv.
What Kind of Smile are You? brought to you by Quizilla
How Depressed are You? brought to you by Quizilla
Your soul is bound to the Black Rose: The Wicked.
"I am the wicked specemin of sin with no profound logic to believe in. Hold me tight, but don't hold me close, I go where I desire."
The Black Rose is associated with manipulation, control, and virtuosity. It is governed by the goddess Psyche and its sign is The Tapestry, or Crafted Love.
As a Black Rose, you may have a slight wicked streak running through you. But whether you are naughty or nice is up for debate. You know how to get what you want and can work people for what they're worth. You have great people skills, but can sometimes be a bit of a control freak.
What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To? brought to you by Quizilla
What Is Your Funny Sexual Artifact? brought to you by Quizilla
i'm tired of having ppl making me & joey feel like shit all the time...i don't care anymore who's trying to protect who...this has gone on too long now...give me pictures or proof of somesort that one is cheating on the other...find real motives for us to leave the other...YOU ALL SUCK BECAUSE YOU CAN'T BE HAPPY FOR US!...fking shit man, everyone just back the fuck off if you think you can give me some shit that i'm a bad gf for "cheating" on joey (which for the record is still not true) & that he's a bad bf for loving someone who supposedly isn't faithful...fuck you all, we don't need you...
1 Lost Their Way |
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 17 January :: 12.11pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: The Bangles - Hazy Shade of Winter
You social butterfly, you.
What kind of popular highschooler are you? brought to you by Quizilla
heh heh...yeah fking right...
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 17 January :: 11.55am
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Patty Loveless - blame it on you're cheatin heart
well a friend is gonna come over & set up my webcam if he ends up getting it...wow, that reminds me...lastnights convo, let's just call him 'brad'...well anyways, he's coo & it's kinda funny that i thought of him this week...lol...
i'm not sure if i'm gonna see joey today, but more than likely so...well i've got nothing much to say other than i'm bored...lol...talk later...
oh yeah ppl please comment no matter how dumb you think it is...lol thanx...
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 17 January :: 2.44am
:: Mood: bouncy
& the convo just ended...
wow, it's been so long...i really had a crush on this person i was talking to & well i'm just happy right now...i miss hanging out w/ him last year...we were coo...so yeah hopefully we talk tomorrow...maybe even hang out, but i dunno...
*wow*...ok i'm over it...no i'm not...lol...talk later...
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 17 January :: 1.26am
:: Mood: amused
interesting convo still going on...
well i'm talking to a friend whom i haven't really had a good convo in a very long time...this is really cool & shit...they've got me thinking bout things...nothing bad i guess...but yeah...he's coo...we're coo...
coo coo...talk later...
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 17 January :: 1.35am
:: Mood: curious
interesting convo going on...
You're Shirley Manson, you saucy girl.
What sexy girl are you brought to you by Quizilla
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 16 January :: 4.44pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: fefe dobson - take me away
~* ALL ABOUT YOU*~ | whats your full name?: | Rebecca Andrea Alaniz | what do your friends call you?: | Becky | your parents when they're pissed at you?: | Rebecca w/ a mexican accent ->Reveca | what name do you enjoy being called?: | Becky | how old are you?: | 17 | whens your b-day?: | Oct. 13, 1986 | where were you born?: | El Centro, CA | when were you born?: | 4:20 pm | color of eyes?: | brown | color of hair?: | dark-brown | height?: | 5ft even | weight?: | usually round 120 | sixe of jeans you wear?: | 7 | size of shirt you wear?: | smalls or mediums | size of shoes you wear?: | 6 - 6 1/2...4 in converse | size of underwear/boxers?: | 5 | (for girls only) size of bra you wear?: | heehee...34 or 36 B | ~~Favorites~~ | fav color?: | red, black, pink | fav clothing garment?: | my striped stockings | fav possession?: | my stuffed animal...gizmo | fav person?: | joey | fav thing to do?: | go out | fav animal?: | ... | fav food?: | chicken, soup, pizza, pasta | fav movie?: | either walk to remember or how to deal | fav book?: | bye bye, miss american pie | fav place to go?: | anywhere but here really | ~!~about the opposite sex~!~ | do looks matter?: | no not completely | what color hair?: | dark i guess | what color of eyes?: | any, but i have a weakness for green eyes | hands or lips?: | hmm...lips | skinny or fat?: | shouldn't matter...but in the past they've been skinny | describe a nice body::: | one i can love w/out judging | ~*~HAVE YOU?!~*~ | ever been kissed?: | yes | ever made out?: | yes | ever had a relationship, if so how many?: | yes, bout 10 | ever had sex?: | yes | ever do anything sexually?: | yes | ever do anything sexually with the same sex?: | ...yes | ever gotten drunk?: | yes | ever gotten high?: | nope | ever smoked?: | yes | ever stolen?: | yes | ever gotten caught for something naughty you did?: | yes | ever cheated on a test/quiz?: | yes | ever cheated on a person?: | yes | ever physically hurt someone?: | yes | ever emotinally hurt someone?: | yes | ever lost a friend over a guy/girl that you liked?: | yes | ever regreted something you did?: | yes, all the time ;) | if so, what?: | can we not talk bout that one? | ever gotten into a car accident?: | nope | ever been in a life/death situation?: | i think i have | ever been arrested?: | nope | ***WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME...*** | you, failed a test/quiz?: | bout 2 wks ago | you, got dumped?: | bout 10 months ago | you, got asked out?: | bout 9 months ago | you, got into a fight? (physcial/virbal): | hmm...when was the last time i talked to danny?...lol...um...sometime today maybe, but not w/ him | you, masterbated?: | the other night | you, had sex?: | can't remember honestly...it's been a while...it wasn't yesterday i know that much | you, kissed someone?: | bout an hour ago | you, hugged someone?: | bout an hour ago | you cried?: | this past sunday when i saw big fish | you smiled?: | a few mins ago i'm sure | you laughed?: | maybe a few more mins than the previous | you cried over happiness?: | this past sunday when i saw big fish | you danced naked?: | dont' recall that one before | you recieved an IM?: | bout a min ago | you heard the words "i love you?": | bout an hour ago | you watched a classic kids tv program?: | lastnight | you went to a concert?: | 2 years ago | you drove a car?: | 2 days ago | you flew in a plane?: | 2 or 3 years ago | you skipped?: | haha that was today i 'memeber | you told someone " i love you"?: | bout an hour ago | you argued with your parents?: | not in a long time...i think in october | ^*^ RANDOMNESS^*^: | | have you ever dyed your hair?: | yes | ever watched an animal eat another animal?: | nope..well on tv yeah | ever been to a boxing game?: | nope | ever disturbed a quiet place with random screaming/yelling?: | yes | ever saw the movie Finding Nemo?: | yes way too many times :D | ever had imaginary friends?: | yes, still do lol | ever believed in fantasy creatures? (ex: dragons, fairys.): | yes | ever look yourself in the mirror and see someone else?: | yeah i think i have | ever see a ghost?: | i swear i did | ever "enter" the other world then come back? (seeing the light..ect.): | nope | ever had a survey before?: | yes | did you like this survey?: | yes |
xsickittiex's *gasp* MAKES YOUR BORDOM VANISH! brought to you by BZOINK!
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 15 January :: 9.54pm
:: Mood: horny
kinda neat huh?
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 15 January :: 8.29pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: fefe dobson - take me away
...o...k...
Three things that scare me: | 1: | death | 2: | losing the one i love | 3: | failure | Three people who make me laugh: | 1: | joey | 2: | denisse | 3: | my dad | Three Things I love: | 1: | joey | 2: | food | 3: | music- Evanescence to be exact, but everything else is coo too | Three Things I hate: | 1: | assumptions | 2: | guacamole | 3: | my life | Three things I don't understand: | 1: | my life | 2: | danny | 3: | why the sky is blue | Three things on my desk: | 1: | cd player | 2: | picture of me & joey @ prom | 3: | phone | Three things I'm doing right now: | 1: | listening to music | 2: | typing | 3: | singing along to the music | Three things I want to do before I die: | 1: | get married | 2: | go to college | 3: | be a professional musician or singer | Three things I can do: | 1: | drive | 2: | play "the toughest instrument"...the french horn | 3: | write songs | Three ways to describe my personality: | 1: | goofy | 2: | kinda bubbly at times | 3: | real & down-to-earth | Three things I can't do: | 1: | swim | 2: | get 1st chair in the trumpet section | 3: | get married tonight :( |
Three Things brought to you by BZOINK!
Send Me An Angel
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drowning-in-you
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2004 15 January :: 6.00pm
:: Mood: dorky
:: Music: Cake - I will survive
not i, i WILL survive...do do do...
yeah i'm kinda dorky right now as if you couldn't read my mood...*oi*...well i'm a ball of mixed emotions right now...i'm all happy-go-lucky cuz i think (& hope) that joey & i are over the scariest part of the engagement...so we're good...& lina & i are good now...somehow i feel like ben & i aren't on good terms much anymore, but i dunno...
i'm kinda mad though for a few reasons: danny (no really, tell me what's new), mr. rodgers, & myself...danny, cuz he's him...no actually we argued bout something today & it just felt like he was holding a grudge over me so yeah...mr. rodgers, well let's just make it damn clear that as long as my dad lets me i'm dropping his class...i don't need to stress out there...myself, cuz i'm lazy & still need to do my fking laundry...lol...
i've been filling out apps for scholarships today, so that's coo...it's cold right now...damn that sux...hopefully joey & i get to see either chasing liberty or big fish tomorrow...i've already seen big fish, & i really recomend it...i didn't think i'd like it, but it was so fking great...WOW...anyways...
i was thinking bout this a few days ago...i need to start playing guitar again...let my anger out there...& i need to write more songs...hmm...
that reminds me, jorge is gonna move to mexicali, which is coo...but he still wants to keep the band going (or starting actually)...& he want's us to practice there, which i'm not really for...i dunno why, but i'm sure we'll figure something out for that...well i think i gtg & eat...but i'll be back later...i usually am...talk later...
i love you joey ;)
Send Me An Angel
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