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2004 16 February :: 1.04 am
:: Music: Brand New - Soco Amaretto Lime
A bunch of small poems.
All Thy Fears
Eyes lowered to a hollow stare
Feet the only witness, scared
Long watching heavy eyes
Off with patterns still disguised
Cloaked of long, long forgotten
Still shining from the gleaning light
Dancing through the curtained night
Bowed down yet ever surprised
Off with masks, yet not realized
Stolen fate in the darkest eyes
Watchers
Faced toward the window sill
Faces watching always, still
Eyes dug deep into the skin
Devoured voices caught within
Light patterns treaded softly
Heard with the keenest ears so lightly
As not to wake the wanted one
Though always is and always might be
The only way out is gone
Crawling
Beneath the shade moving quickly
Scampering away from death
Coughing lightly, sight be sickly
Above watched its one last breath
Looks, watches, stares with gaze
As fallen under tidal waves
And caught by eyes awakened craze
Breathless
Controlled by fear
Long but near he waits
Under shade, listen, hear
All is quiet, but not all is clear
As the room tilts inside your mind
Grasped children, shaking eyes
Standing all in rhythm, timed
Walk past as you hold them back
Pulled along and underneath--
Waves of hate and still you breathe
Anonymous
Blinded yet staring back
Holding handless meaning task
Barren lands filled with fruit
All alone within the group
Soaked in water dry as sand
Sun-filled sky, below dark land
Your Room
Black drapes match your carpet
In the room where you go tonight
Blood red sheets and black fur blankets
Three black walls and the other white
Surround the room where you go to die
A golden rope hanging from the ceiling
Dancing shadows on the wall
Candles above a table with handcuffs beneath
Which sent the air you breathe
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2004 14 February :: 12.40 pm
Creation and careful planning
Setting my life on fire
Standing back and watching it burn
Cast out and alone
Stepping back and taking a look at the world
I look through waiting eyes as the world dies
Slowly, I rise above and make a new creation
Starting with the aftermath and new demise
Ending with the sun and the devastation
I freeze myself for later times
And watch as the world changes before my eyes
I grow old with the trees but longer
And see the growth of the world and hunger
I look through the oldest eyes and the world grows
Staying in the shadows, watching behind the darkest
Waiting for a new world to rise to what it knows
And the sun to return and recall this blackness
I slow time waiting for nothing
Watching it pass with what it is killing
I set the stars on fire
And watch as the people below fall in desire
I conspire ways for them to grow stronger
And watch as my every attempt fails
I wait ‘til I can’t wait any longer
And burn the everlasting gruesome details
I stop the clock and set it aflame
Watching as it melts away into another daydream
I sweep up the dust of what was new
Dying inside because I can’t create another you
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2004 12 February :: 7.19 pm
I Fall Away
I feel the heat coming from inside
With all the pain I’m burning alive
Every flaming word you say
Sears through my flesh with the strongest hate
And then I fall
So then I fall away
I felt the pain in your words that night
As you cut me open without a knife
The hate in you voice as I backed away
Still haunts the wind where the whispers stay
And then I fall
So then I fall away
You strike me without a touch
The torch in your words is over enough
You rip me open so I disintegrate
Keep stabbing until I descend away
And then I fall
So then I fall away
And then I fall with the words inside
Burning my flesh as I run to hide
So then I fall with the pain alive
Haunting the thoughts inside my mind
And then I fall
I fall away
So then I fall
I fall today
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2004 12 February :: 1.32 am
Everything for You : Incomplete
For you i would crack and i'd break
i would bend and fold too
there's nothing i couldn't take
just to hold you
I'd cut myself to feel your skin
i would tare myself apart
i'd shatter just to let you in
if it would mend your broken heart
---- Didn't Make the Cut ----
For you i would crack
i would also bend
and there's nothing i lack
but i'd do it all again
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2004 10 February :: 8.24 pm
:: Music: Audioslave - Shadow of the Sun
Revised: Drowning
Shading my life too dark its hard to see
with all the hate that you breathe
and i can't keep up
i'll scream if you don't help
Shadows come to life as light fades away
While you look at me and I say-
I'm drowning here, can't you see me?
Help me please, I've stopped breathing
Playing my life too thin
Not noticing the holes within
I'm falling deeper into the water again
I hold out my hand and then
You just turn away to leave
While i see you and I scream-
I'm drowning here, can't you see me?
Help me because I've stopped breathing
I'm drowning here, won't you free me?
The only thing to stop you from leaving
And worthless cries are followed
As I rise completely hollowed
My pace has fallen
And now I'm crawling
I sink in the sea and say-
I sink in the sea and scream-
I'm drowning here, can't you see me?
Help me because I've stopped breathing
I'm drowning here, can't you see me?
Help me because I've stopped breathing
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2004 9 February :: 8.20 pm
shading my life to dark its hard to see with all the hate you breathe i can't keep up i'll scream if you don't help shadows come to life as light fades away while you look at me and i say
i'm drowning here can't you see me
help me please i've stopped breathing
playing my life to thin not noticing the holes within i'm falling deeper into the water again i hold out my hand and then you turn away to leave while i see you and i scream
i'm drowning here can't you see me
help me please i've stopped breathing
and worthless cries are followed by your return completely hollowd i've risen back to grace but not to see your face you fall to your knees and say you fall to your knees and scream....
i'm drowning here can't you see me
help me please i've stopped breathing
i'm drowning here can't you see me
help me please i've stopped breathing
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2004 8 February :: 1.43 am
Silent and Quiet
Do you remember all our quiet nights?
That held the silent fights
And I never said a word
That you hadn’t heard
And do you remember everything we did?
Of course, how could you forget?
And I never did one thing
That didn’t mean something
Do you remember the desire?
All the nights spent side by side
And do you remember my fire?
All the times in the rain
But we’ve never felt ashamed
Do you remember everywhere we’ve gone?
Leaving places after dawn
And I never felt any pain
Anytime I could say your name
And do you remember everything with meaning?
I can still feel you breathing
And I never lived a day without you
And I could never forget about you
Do you remember the desire?
All the nights spent side by side
And do you remember my fire?
All the times in the rain
But we’ve never felt ashamed
All the silent fights
That caused the quiet nights
Which made up for
When you couldn’t get enough
And had to scream
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2004 6 February :: 3.35 pm
Light shines through the blinds
Into slivers of illumination
My eyes follow all of the lines
Through rivers of imagination
____________________________________
Memories Not Meant To Be
With you, my wish is granted
And apart, I’ve lost all chances
But with you, I won’t forget
That is to say I haven’t yet
With you, my heart is beating
Faster than it ever has
Without you it slows
I could never get that mad
With you, I see myself clearly
In a pond reflection from your eyes
And apart I’d like to think you can hear me
I have never been surprised
And you grant all my wishes
And you hold my memories
You’re eyes are lakes of emotion
And you hold no penalties
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2004 30 January :: 6.18 pm
17. Hiding inside – Part 1
I sneak between your thoughts
Reaching deep inside your mind
I creep slowly down your spine
Crawling my way deep inside
Everyday I watch through you eyes
While you think you’re alone here
I read through every single fear
That hides in your mind so clear
I come across a different knowledge
Pictures and movies inside you
Times when time wasn’t hard to go through
And upon these thoughts I find you too
I move quickly through your brain
And come to rest on your lonely heart
Whispering to you, oh please just start
So I don’t have to tare you apart
Slowly your heart starts beating
And then opens up for me
So I can start to see
Everything that was meant to be
18. Hiding inside Part 2
I sneak between your thoughts
Reaching deep inside your mind
I creep slowly down your spine
Crawling my way deep inside
I read through your darkest secrets
Each a scary page of their own
I dig deep down to your bone
Feeding on your thoughts alone
Then I find a new knowledge
Coursing through your flesh
Then I come across something fresh
So new but yet so close to death
I tare through your skin to stop the bleeding
Ripping your heart open to find
Some new terror unleashed of mind
Crawling to find me deep inside
I tried to save you, I really tried
I raced to save you, I really sped
And all the things that I have read
Are now within me, also dead
I wrote parts of this as one poem. Then figured out that it was better as two, so I wrote more parts to make it two parts.
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2004 28 January :: 10.09 pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Nirvana
Warm and Shivering
I wrote this tonight. I like it almost as much as "the way to go"
- Warm and Shivering -
I watch your hands as they shake
If I held you would you break?
---Or would you fall away
Lights off its cold and dark
Time out lets catch the spark
---That lights up your eyes
Don’t you like what you see?
Is this too much for me?
---Or is it enough for you?
And I can’t wait for this to end
And for now for me, you’re now pretend
And I’ll see the beginning
What do you see within me?
Moons shade darkens your door
Footsteps slowly cross the floor
---That crawls beneath your feet
Doors closed, windows open
Wind pours in just like an ocean
---That pours through the door
Stars fall when I scream your name
Warm, cold, it’s always the same
---It’s always the same for you
And I can’t wait for this to end
And for now for me, you’re now pretend
And I’ll see the beginning
What do you see within me?
And I watch your hands as they shake
If I held them would they break?
---Or would they hold me back?
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