::
2009 8 September :: 6.32am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: "Be my rain" By: Zeraphine
Ugh
Back to school for me. Leaving in about 20 minutes. I'm tired, bored, and school will increase both of those. But, I have to do it. Wish me luck. :P
When I was young I knew everything
She a punk who rarely ever took advice
Now I'm guilt stricken,
Sobbing with my head on the floor
Stop a baby's breath and a shoe full of rice
I can't be held responsible
She was touching her face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place
For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and
We'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe
We'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen
My best friend took a week's
Vacation to forget her
His girl took a weeks's worth of
Valium and slept
And now he's guilt stricken sobbing with his
Head on the floor
Thinks about her now and how he never really
Wept he says
I can't be held responsible
She was touching her face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place
For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and
We'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe
We'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen
hey yeah
hey yeah
hey yeah
We've tried to wash our hands of all this
We never talk of our lacking relationships
And how we're guilt stricken sobbing with our
Heads on the floor
We fell through the ice when we tried not to
Slip, we'd say
I can't be held responsible
She was touching her face
And I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place
For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and
We'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe
We'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen
For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and
We'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe
We'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen
We were merely freshmen
::
2009 24 August :: 5.00pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: "Sleepwalking" By: Analog Sway
Sleep walking through the party
Just like everybody
Your denim was your weapon
Shhh everybody listen.
Your boots a deadly venom...
Your lust was your addiction
You ask for no permission and
My body is the victim
Your eyes met mine across the room then
Boom
She knew she had me so she started dancing over slowly
She smiled at me as my jaw dropped to the floor.
I stood speechless and still
She went right for the kill
She took my hand and whispered,
I can show you so much more
Twist my lips in submission
From all your k k kissin
You got what Ive been missin
Shhhh boys just keep on wishin
Tonight youre on a mission
Keep me on one condition
That this becomes tradition
My body is the victim
Your eyes meet mine across the room then
Boom
Sleepless dreaming, sleepless feeling
When I saw her dance
I saw her dancing
::
2009 6 August :: 2.42pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: AFI - Leaving Song pt 2
Don't waste your touch - you won't feel anything.
Or were you sent to save me..?
I know what I've become.
I'm just unsure of what tipped over the first domino and started the transformation.
I remember wanting to be that fairytale princess, falling in love, having a big family, being that mom that wouldn't care about the stray dog her kids dragged home.
Yadda yadda..
I remember it all vividly.
I say "remember" because as vivid as it may be, it's not my perspective now.
Not even close.
Fairytales bore me; I've become too cynical.
Too analytical.
Princess? Try Queen of Attention to Detail.
And I can't see myself giving birth to a miniature me when I can barely stand myself most days.
No sir, not for me.
Not anymore.
Don't even get me started on the "L" word.
Agh. I hear the phonetics start and my hands are already up over my ears, and I'm chanting "la-la-la-lalalala-laaaaaaaa!"
Sometimes I have such a dislike for the word that I find myself groping my crotch to make sure I haven't developed man-parts.
Yeahhhh it's that bad.
I've become the antithesis of myself.
I don't want love.
I want to use you up until I'm bored and jump ship.
That's it.
That's all I want.
I don't want best friends, it's just another term for 'convenience' anyway and as much as I'm all about convenience, I'd like to be able to get rid of you whenever I please.
Sorry, but honesty hurts.
And honestly, I'm not that sorry.
Don't get me wrong: there's still a select few (three, rather) that still sit inside my private circle - but you'd be surprised to find out who they really are.
And who they aren't.
And just where you fall.
Right now you're thinking back to every conversation we had and every topic we skimmed across. Why? I can promise that even though you're conjuring up the worst possible scenario, you're right.
You're wondering about all the times I called.
But more importantly - all the times I didn't.
All the things I never said and never will, but also all of the things I never asked and never will - because I just don't care.
We're all aware of the famous saying by the famous person, "You learn from experience. Regret nothing."
And even though I am well aware of the fact that I mashed a few famous sayings together and couldn't name the famous somebodies, I'll tell you this:
You may learn from experience but you'll learn a lot more a lot faster watching everyone else burn themselves.
It saves on regrets, too.
"And I disintegrate
'cause this hate.. is fucking real."
::
2009 4 August :: 12.58pm
:: Mood: giddy
:: Music: "Happiness is a warm gun" By: The Beatles
She's not a girl who misses much
Do do do do do do, oh yeah
She's well acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand
Like a lizard on a window pane
The man in the crowd with the multicoloured mirrors
On his hobnail boots
Lying with his eyes while his hands are busy
Working overtime
A soap impression of his wife which he ate
And donated to the National Trust
I need a fix 'cause I'm going down
Down to the bits that I left uptown
I need a fix cause I'm going down
Mother Superior jump the gun
Mother Superior jump the gun
Mother Superior jump the gun
Mother Superior jump the gun
Mother Superior jump the gun
Mother Superior jump the gun
Happiness (is a warm gun)
Bang Bang Shoot Shoot
Happiness (is a warm gun, momma)
Bang Bang Shoot Shoot
(When I hold you in my arms)
Oooooooooh, oh yeah!
And when I feel my finger on your trigger
Oooooooooh, oh yeah!
I know nobody can do me no harm
Oooooooooh, oh yeah!
Happiness (is a warm gun, momma)
Bang Bang Shoot Shoot
Happiness (is a warm gun)
Bang Bang Shoot Shoot
Yes it is, gun!
Happiness (is a warm gun)
Bang Bang Shoot Shoot
Happiness (is a warm gun)
is a warm gun, yeeeaahhh!
::
2009 31 July :: 2.16pm
:: Music: "Lips Like Morphine" By: Kill Hannah
Song lyrics with some minor changes.
I want a guy with lips like morphine
Knock me out every time they touch me
I wanna feel that kiss just crush me
And break me down
Knock me out!
Knock me out!
Cuz I've waited for all my life
To be here with you tonight
I want a guy with lips like morphine
Blow a kiss that leaves me gasping
I want to feel that lightning strike me
And burn me down
Knock me out!
Knock me out!
Cuz I've waited for all my life
To behere with you tonight
Just put me on my back
Knock me out again
Oh, I want a guy with lips like morphine
Knock me out everytime they touch me
I want a girl with lips like morphine
To knock me out
See I've waited for all my life
To be here with you tonight
Just put me on my back
Knock me out again.
good times, good times.
Spent last night with Jess. We just hung out, watched Dog the Bounty Hunter, made brownies, ate peanuts, and drank a little. Fun night. :]
::
2009 1 July :: 1.20am
:: Mood: content
:: Music: "Use Somebody" By: Kings of Leon
Fourth of July
Yeah so, things have been going great. I've been watching Bree for Aunt Judy and Uncle Rich, so I'm earning money. Then I'm getting more at the end of the week. I'm going to Sand Lake for Fourth of July, and I think Brendon's going with me. He said he wants to, he's just got to check and make sure. So, it should be fun. Hang out, walk around the carnival, and watch the fireworks. But, I better go. Bye.
::
2009 27 June :: 1.33am
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: "Waking up in Vegas" By: Katy Perry
News
Well, only a couple people have heard aside from my mom and dad, but I have an announcement. Calm down, I'm not pregnant. Ready? Ok, I'll tell you. I'm going back to school to get my diploma this coming Fall. I am not going to the regular High School though. I hate that school, alot of the staff, and alot of the student body. I am going to CTA. Creative Technologies Academy. Well, we still have to enroll me in August and I hope I can go there, but if they accept me, then I will be happy. There is still that lazy part of me that doesn't want to wake up early in the morning, get dressed, walk to school, do boring work, then come home tired. But, I need an education to get anywhere in life, so I am taking action and going back to school. I have to keep my enthusiasm and effort up, because in the long run, going to school everyday is worth it. And I think that I just didn't realise that when I was staying home and skipping all the time. I need to buckle down, as my dad would say. I used to hate that expression and when he used it I wanted to punch him, but he's right. I need to graduate. So, I just figured I would let you guys know that I am going back to school. But, I have to go. Bye.