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greyXmatter
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2005 28 February :: 6.33pm
:: Mood: hopeful
:: Music: [Wakefield] - [L7 Medication]
If I could have anything right now, I'd have Josh here, kissing me, telling me how everythings going to be okay. Because when he says it, it almost seems real. I'd do anything to be laying with him, my arms around him, my face burried in his chest and his warm breath on my neck. I. Would. Do. Anything. I miss him so much... I miss seeing his happy smile and I miss him and his perfectly timed hugs. I miss just hearing his voice and having him around.
Come over on Friday, okay?
Y
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greyXmatter
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2005 26 February :: 4.25pm
Yes I took my picture off.
No you don't care.
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greyXmatter
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2005 26 February :: 4.18pm
:: Mood: grumpy
We kissed.
In my dream.
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greyXmatter
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2005 26 February :: 4.12pm
:: Mood: grumpy
:: Music: [The Irony of Dying on Your Birthday]
I needed to sleep last night, but I didn't. I did ladders for an hour and then slept. 10 push ups. 10 crunches. 9 push ups. 9 crunches. 8 push ups. 8 crunches. 7 push ups. Eccetera. And back up. Then back down. Then back up. Blah blah blah blah BLAH. I watched the Tom Green show last night and that made me kinda happy. It's 37 degrees out and I'm not outside, and I should be. It's kind of sad to think that 37 degrees is now warm. If we had eighty degree weather right now, we'd all die. What a pleasant thought.
I hate how I fall for people that I can't have.
I hate how sometimes I fall for more than one person.
I hate how I feel like I'm falling for people I don't even know that well.
FUCKING.
I just realized something.
I just... can't say it on here.
But if you want to know, IM me and I'll tell you if you're worthy.
Fucking jesus.
That's a long time.
Maybe this shit IS working.
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greyXmatter
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2005 25 February :: 7.10pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: [Jude Law and a Semester Abroad]
Seven things in your room:
1. stuffed animals
2. picture frames on my wall with pics of me bull riding
3. ribbons
4. trophies
5. a tv
6. this computer
7. a rocking horse. heh.
Seven things to do before death:
1. get my PRCA card
2. teach kids to ride bulls
3. get on Gatorback (sexy bull)
4. get on Dean Drake's Catfish
5. loose weight
6. make up a dance
7. stop smoking
Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex:
1. sense of humor
2. originality
3. bouncy and talkative
4. gutsy.. willing to take risks.
5. guys that don't do drugs?
6. independant guys, able to take care of themselves.
7. loyal and caring
Top seven things you say most:
1. "fuck."
2. "fucking fuck."
3. "dude."
4. "ohmygod."
5. "for real."
6. "are you serrrrrious?"
7. "HAHAHA! hm."
Do You:
Smoke?: occasionally.
Do drugs?: not at all.
Read the newspaper?: yeah. I'm not a fag.
Pray?: occasionally.
Been in love?: yeah.
Gone skinny dipping?: yeah.. a lot.
Had a medical emergency?: yeah uhm. yeah.
Had surgery?: never.
Swam in the dark? a lot... it scares me though.
Been to a Bonfire: yeah.
Got Drunk: um, yeah.
Ran away from home?: twice? the one was just for a few hours, the other was for 3 weeks. except the 3 week one, my mom knew where i was and knew i was safe for the most part.
Played strip poker?: I can't play poker period.
Gotten beaten up?: badly? once.
Beaten someone up?: yeah, badly? twice. I've got major bull riding arm muscles, don't fuck with me.
Been on stage?: yeah... I act.
Slept outdoors?: yes. great fun.
Pulled an all nighter?: once... went to Dorney Park the next day and like ... died.
If yes, what is your record?: 1.
Made out with a stranger?: yeah.
Been on radio/tv?: radio for singing when i was younger, and tv for driving my horses...
Been in a mosh-pit?: um. if the less than jake "mosh pit" counts.
Been to a party: yeaw.
Gotten lost in the woods: OMG YES.
Been in an Undertow: uh yeah. scarey shit. i'm scared of the ocean now. i will never go.
Smoked a Cigar: no...
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: ha... my bestest buddy is bisexual and I love him with all my heart... my other good friend is a lesbian... yeah it's like one big half-circle of homos. i love it.
About You
Three words that sum you up: outgoing, daring, stupid.
Wallet: non-existant. that's what pockets are for.
Coffee: milk and one sugar
Shoes: fuckin... 11. sometimes 10.
Cologne/Perfume: anything berry I love.
Clothing you have on: light light light almost white.. really kinda tight pacsun jeans... and...a green cammi spighetti strap thingy... a black zip up hoodie... and... ha my cherry thong that I love.. and just.. a black bra.
In the last 24 Hours have you....:
Cried: erg yes.
Bought something: yes, this bracelet. ::jingles it in your face::
Gotten sick: as in puked? yes. wait no. that was 2 days ago.
Sang: yeah.
Been kissed: yeah.
Felt stupid: yeah. when i got the truck stuck today.
Wanted to tell someone you love them, but didnt: yeah.
Talked to an ex: ...yes.
Talked to someone you have a crush on: yes. =X
Had a serious talk: yeah about me getting homeschooled.
Missed someone: yes, my baby. =[ Joshuaaaa....
Hugged someone: yeah... Mike Melina... wow.
Argued with a parent(s): yes, about homeschooling.
Social Life:
Boyfriend/girlfriend: not recently.
Car you drive: 1999 Dodge Ram truck
Would you rather be with friends or on a date: depends.
Job: Village Saddlery in Hackettstown
Attend church: yeah... Walnut Valley Methodist
Like being around people: not a lot.
Last :
Thing you ate: bread
Thing you drank: diet lemon coke
Place you went: Village Saddlery
Person you kissed: mike
Person you hugged: mike
Person you talked to: Josh
Person you IMed: Jill
Song you heard: Senses Fail - Lady In A Blue Dress
Currents:
Current Mood: drained
Current Taste: garlic. gross.
Current Hair: um. up and messy.
Current DVD In Player: 8 seconds
Current Refreshment: um. hi.
Current Worry: my shoulder hurts and it's worrying me.
Miscellaneous: give me a backrub now.
Are you artistic: slightly.
Are you athletic: ...say hi to the bullrider.
Are you a brat: no, gross. i hate bitchy, spoiled brats.
Do you like spiders: eh. don't particularly mind them.
Can you do anything freakish with your body?: If i was a lesbian, I would give a girl their biggest orgasm cause I can do crazy shit with my tongue. ...but i'm not, so screw that. ha.
What are you listening to: Brand New
If you could be anywhere, where would you be?: in my bed.
Makeup or natural look: both... more times makeup.
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